


Don't think about it

by urgaylol



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Fluff, Friends With Benefits, M/M, PTSD, Porn With Plot, Sex, Smut, a few jabs at the big bang theory so be warned, but not as dark as it sounds, falling in love while making it, hanzo's entire arc based of a single detail in his short that no one has ever talked about, idk what im doing, love confessions if you wait through all my bull, mentions of real world issues, mild(ish) descriptions of torture, my bad sense of humor, no really this is pretty weird even for me, situations designed to make you uncomfortable so watch out, takes place about four years after recall, the strangest thing I've ever written, think of this as optimistically nihilistic, too smutty for mainstream mchanzo and too narrative for smutty mchanzo, warnings for violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-03
Updated: 2019-03-25
Packaged: 2019-07-27 10:56:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 16
Words: 129,830
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16217594
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/urgaylol/pseuds/urgaylol
Summary: Hanzo asks McCree for casual sex and misadventures ensue.(if you've been following this pls don't get excited there's no update I just updated the whole work by mistake trying to update a link and I can't figure out how to undo it pls forgive)





	1. Robbins

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello.
> 
> This is a very strange piece of work, probably the strangest that I've put on ao3 under this fandom. I will say that out of everything I've written for mchanzo, this is the closest to what I've actually wanted to write, from the themes, topics discussed, and the characterization. But I understand that it is not for everyone. My prediction is that some people will really, really like this work, but that the vast majority of people (probably more well-adjusted people) might find it confusing or dull or too dark and socially provocative.
> 
> so uh be warned I guess
> 
> also yo my boi artsy-arrowl drew a panel of the start of this chapter and its pretty neat
> 
> http://artsy-arrowl.tumblr.com/post/180967717134/fanart-of-dont-think-about-it-by-urgaylol-on-ao3

Jesse McCree sat in the halls of Gibraltar, back against a familiar door.

He'd been there for the last five minutes. Ten minutes ago, Hanzo had messaged him to come over. So Jesse'd complied, nearly immediately, but found that no one came to the door when he knocked. So he sat.

It wasn't like he had anything better to do.

Jesse grabbed his hat from the tie on his back and slid it deep over his eyes, shielding himself from no sun in particular. Bored, he slumped his legs outwards into a position that would have made Doctor Ziegler cry for his spine.

He lit a cigarette and the image of Angela haunted him further.

Jesse didn't even have to turn when he heard the footsteps, recognizing the quiet tapping noise instantly. They neared towards him quickly, and Jesse tipped his hat at the new arrival.

"You're playing it up again." Hanzo said before Jesse could mention anything about the fact that Hanzo was late to an encounter he'd planned at his own quarters.

"Playin' what up?" Jesse asked back, as if he didn't know exactly where this was going.

"That which what you call a cultural identity."

Prodding with his foot, Hanzo pushed Jesse carefully from his front door and started to punch in the code.

"You think I ain't a real country boy?" Jesse asked. "Listen, honey. Where I came from, you had to break and ride a horse ten miles to the nearest Popeye's, just to take a shit."

Hanzo suppressed a snicker and rolled his eyes, which Jesse considered a win. Jesse scrambled to stand up.

"I never implied it was inauthentic." Hanzo replied. "I have no doubt that you grew up with hens and long-rimmed hats and poverty and confederate war songs. I just said that you were playing it up. For you don't simply dress as a yokel--"

"Hey, now."

"--but as a romanticized one. One from the movies. You present yourself as a man who's arc would be stopping an over-simplified villain, stoically asking an over-simplified question regarding morality, and then riding off into the sunset with an over-simplified woman. When we met, you had me fooled that your attire and demeanor were brilliantly satirical, at least until it became apparent just how pathetically genuine your love for it was."

Jesse suddenly regret showing Hanzo so many Westerns.

"Yeah, well, maybe you're right. Maybe it ain't nothing more than overdone picture of what I wished my culture was more like ever since I was a stupid little kid. But guess what?"

"What?"

Jesse grinned. Hanzo gestured for him to come through the now open door, but Jesse ignored it, instead locking eyes with Hanzo, cocking out his hip, and leaning up next to the door frame in the most melodramatic depiction of smug he could muster.

"Everybody loves me." Jesse answered.

Hanzo groaned, but they both knew he couldn't argue without being objectively wrong. And just as Jesse's luck would have it, Fareeha and Echo chose that moment to walk by. They both waved happily at Jesse, and he tipped his hat in response with a little side-smile to Hanzo.

"Case in point." Jesse followed once they'd left.

"Come inside."

With that, Jesse was shoved into Hanzo's quarters.

Jesse had been in Hanzo's living room a hundred times before. Hanzo tended to seek out his company at least once a week, and Hanzo's apathy to flat-out disdain for most everyone else on the team, especially in compound with each other, usually led them to one of their two rooms for some privacy, and occasionally liquor. Jesse would have described Hanzo's quarters as aggressively clean, with not a speck of dust coating the lofty tatami walls and floors, the weird, short tables, or Hanzo's only mildly pretentious collection of Japanese scroll art.

Which was why a single book on Hanzo's dining table, not in the bookcase captured Jesse's attention.

" _Still Life of a Woodpecker._ " Jesse read, reluctantly flashing back to tenth grade reading requirements. "You're reading Tom Robbins?"

"Satya lent me a copy. She thought I might enjoy it."

Jesse covered the scoff that was bubbling in his throat.

"Oh, Satya. Your friend Satya" he said, smoothing out the words. "Who you talk 'bout books with. Yeah."

Jesse didn't like Satya.

"Why are you doing that?" Hanzo asked.

"Doing what?"

"Wincing."

"I ain't a fan of Robbins'."

"Why not?"

"I like it when my literature don't spend an entire thirty-seven word long paragraph on a man's wang."

Hanzo gave a familiar, unimpressed scowl. Jesse was unfazed.

"Just join me in the kitchen." Hanzo said, taking off for the kitchenette. Jesse followed.

Hanzo didn't particularly have a lot of dishes, but he started to do them anyway. Seeing no chairs, Jesse sat down on the counter, tucking himself halfheartedly between two sets of cabinets. It wasn't the first time Hanzo had called him while he was doing household chores, although Jesse didn't really give much of a damn what they did, especially when Hanzo handed him a cold beer from the fridge.

"What in the hell happened to Athena?" Jesse asked, eyeing the smashed module stuck to the ceiling in Hanzo's kitchen. Gibraltar had only gotten personal Athena ports last week, so the fact that Hanzo's had already broken seemed strange, especially considering the fact that Jesse had never even seen Hanzo accidentally smash a glass.

"The end of my broom happened to Athena."

"Wait, what--you did this?"

"I do not need it. Winston should have asked."

"Well I like having her. She plays music and tells me where I gotta be, an--"

"I already own a device that performs those functions. I understand the appeal of Athena's efficiency, but I'm not interested in shaving a few seconds of my day off at the price of having another listening device in my home."

Jesse scoffed. He had forgotten that Hanzo was crazy.

"She ain't a listening device." said Jesse.

Hanzo eyed the smashed module, the remains of a speaker, camera, and tiny computer core stuck to the ceiling.

"She don't record anything." Jesse followed.

"How could you possibly know that?"

"Cause she wouldn't do that."

Hanzo raised an eyebrow.

"Well," Jesse stumbled, "Winston wouldn't do that."

"It could be hacked."

"We'll leave this at a stalemate."

This wasn't the first time something like this had happened. Jesse didn't understand why Hanzo was so paranoid. A minor character flaw, Jesse supposed.

"I had a check-up with Angela yesterday." Hanzo said after a few moments passed, thankfully changing the subject.

"Willingly?"

"She quite literally dragged me by the collar into her office."

Jesse winced. He'd been there.

"Tough break." he said.

"In all that is fair, I had been avoiding my monthly check-ups with her for half a year."

"How'd it go? Get a new shot?"

"No. She lectured me."

"On?"

"My health."

Jesse's eyes narrowed in surprise. Besides the amount that he drank, Hanzo was quite possibly the most physically healthy person Jesse had ever seen in his entire life.

"Your health?" Jesse asked.

"Yes."

"What'd she do, tell you that you're too jacked?"

"No. My blood pressure is pitiful, even for a man in his early forties. Her words, not mine."

Jesse wrinkled his brow.

"What?" Hanzo asked as he turned to see Jesse's concerned face.

"All you do is train and drink that kale water." Jesse answered. "If your blood pressure's crap, I don't even wanna know what mine is."

"No need to worry. She made it more than clear to me that my situation is purely psychological."

"Oh, that makes sense."

"Good, because she had more to say."

"Really, now?"

Hanzo drew in a breath as he placed a clean dish on the rack beside him.

"She followed with a scathing critique of my cortisol levels," he started, "informed me that my brain is producing far too little dopamine, and claimed that I am at a higher risk of heart disease than Commander Morrison. She was correct and she showed me the physical data to prove it, but that didn't change the fact that the whole affair was viciously passive-aggressive, especially when she began to casually insinuate that these are the reasons why I am unpleasant to be around."

Hanzo's words were so dry that Jesse couldn't help but chuckle. He wondered how much Hanzo was exaggerating. Probably a substantial amount, considering his tiny half smile and the fact that Angela wasn't truly that cruel.

It was a bit unhealthy, but Jesse couldn't help but feel a little proud of the fact that, from as far as he could tell, he was the only one who Hanzo really softened around.

"So, what'd she tell you to do about it?" Jesse asked, taking a sip of beer. "Drink more kale?"

"She suggested I seek out an orgasm."

Half of Jesse's sip ended up on his shirt.

"Oh." he replied, as steadily as he could manage.

"Frequently." Hanzo continued. "And with another...human."

Jesse stared at the back of Hanzo's head. As long as he'd known Hanzo, about a year now, the two things he tended to talk the least about were orgasming and needing people. Why Hanzo was telling Jesse this, about his sexual health problems, Jesse couldn't guess.

Well, actually, he had one guess, but he pushed it down, worried it was too fueled by hope.

"Angela told you to get laid?" Jesse asked, half in amusement.

"She recommended it."

In his seat on the counter, Jesse tried not squirm.

"So, you gonna do anything...'bout that?" he asked.

"I doubt it would be too hard for me to find a willing partner." Hanzo answered, with a full smile this time.

"So long as you don't rely on your personality too much, I'm with you."

"However, I do not trust easily--"

"Hadn't noticed."

"--which lowers my available applicants significantly, as you can image."

As far as Jesse knew, Hanzo's list of people he trusted had only two names on it; Jesse McCree and Genji Shimada. Jesse's heart pounded as he tried to figure out what that said about where this was going, but his ability to use deductive reasoning was crumbling fast.

"You thought about asking anyone?"

"It is not something I could be so outright about."

Jesse narrowed his eyes as the part of his mind that itched as the stakes drew higher in a poker game started to act up.

"Afraid of rejection?" Jesse asked. "'Spite what I said about your personality, I doubt anybody's gonna deny you on an offer like that."

"Not really. It is more that I am not..."

Hanzo trailed off and placed another cup on the rack before he continued.

"I am not keen on asking for help. The idea is far too humbling for my humor." he finished.

"So what are you gonna do then?"

"I have made one attempt to get what I want by explaining my situation to a trusted friend in the hopes that they would offer to assuage my, um, troubles."

Jesse gulped. He took his off his hat and put a pointer finger on either side of the rim, absentmindedly twirling it.

"Take it from me, you don't seem like the kinda guy who'd let someone down easy. Maybe they're just afraid of asking." he replied.

"A surprising notion, considering the fact that he--"

"He?"

"--is exceptionally reckless, with little foresight for his actions and words--"

"Hey, now." Jesse cut in, wincing at the audible catch in his breath.

"--and from what I have observed, indiscriminately sexually motivated."

"Sounds like a real handful." Jesse mocked, genuinely offended. "Not sure why you wanna screw him so bad."

Hanzo turned the water off.

"Chikushō... Jesse." Hanzo said, tossing Jesse an annoyed, confident glare over his shoulder. "I tire of nuance. It is not your ego I am asking to stroke."

Jesse dropped his hat into his lap as Hanzo turned back to the sink.

"Wait." Jesse said, trying to suppress the breathlessness that just wouldn't go away. "It's me you wanna screw? I thought we were talkin' about Jamison."

Jesse twisted naturally away from the dish towel that was hurled at his face.

"Just give me a yes or a no so that we can both move on with our lives." Hanzo pleaded, keeping his head turned towards the sink even though he was out of dishes to do.

Hanzo was asking him for casual sex. It really wasn't something Jesse had ever expected Hanzo to ask him for, although, over their last two years of mutually working for the recall, Jesse had found that he could never completely pin everything about Hanzo down.

Jesse had done the whole friends with benefits thing plenty of times, and successfully too, without crumbling the original friendship during or after. The trick was good communication and a mutual respect.

So Jesse should have been able to just say yes, with little risk in his way, had it had not been for one major issue. The issue was pretty simple, actually; he was in love with Hanzo.

Jesse knew he should say no. Decline the offer, make up a bad excuse about needing to fill out the reports he had already done or feed the cat he didn't have, and bolt out of Hanzo's room with an unsaid apology. It might be an awkward solution, but taking Hanzo's offer while hiding a secret like that would be far from reasonable.

Hanzo turned and gave Jesse another pointed stare. Jesse took one look at his dark eyes and threw reason out the window.

"I'll take the bullet." Jesse said.

"Good."

"Ok."

A few seconds dragged by. Hanzo turned around and leaned against the sink counter still without meeting Jesse's gaze, opting instead to pick at his nails.

"I have a few conditions." Hanzo finally said.

"We're allowed conditions? I want conditions."

"Wait your turn."

"Fine."

Hanzo took a deep breath.

"I--I do not want...what we already have to become corrupted." Hanzo started. "And I would like what we have to remain the underpinnings of our...dynamic."

"A' course." Jesse nodded.

Something went unsaid. Hanzo was the best friend Jesse'd had in the last ten years, and Jesse knew the same was true for the reverse. Hanzo had never said it out loud and Jesse had never said it out loud sober, but Jesse knew they were risking a lot.

"I would also like to make clear that I am not asking for any sort of courtship." Hanzo continued. "This is temporary."

Jesse knew the words were going to come, but they still stung.

"I am not emotionally equipped to deal with..." Hanzo finished, trailing off.

"No, I gotcha. We won't complicate things." Jesse said with an easy smile to cover up the his inner torment around the hole he was currently digging for himself.

"We will think of it as a purely practical affair."

"Like a proctology exam."

Jesse dodged another dishtowel.

"Anything else?" he followed

"Yes, I suppose, although it's difficult for me to find the words to explain."

"Try me."

Hanzo shuffled a bit on his feet, face and body set somewhere between thoughtful and anxious.

"What I should say is," Hanzo said, "Please be warned that I may not be particularly good at..."

"Sex?"

Hanzo looked offended.

"No." he replied, dismissive.

"Sex with men?"

"No. Stop trying to guess--"

"Sex with Americans."

Hanzo gave Jesse a look. Jesse knew he was being a dick, but he suddenly felt too giddy to care.

"No. It is nothing so exclusive to sex. Rather I fear I may not fair well with vulnerability."

Jesse snickered.

"What?" asked Hanzo.

"Did you think this would be news to me?"

Hanzo's mouth softened.

"I suppose that's fair." he replied. "In any case, those are my conditions. What are yours?"

"I wanna--uh--be on top." Jesse blurted.

Hanzo gave him an exasperated, patronizing glare before answering.

"We will take turns."

"Gimme three outta four."

"I will give you the chance to convince me."

It was more than Jesse had hoped for. He'd been bluffing about topping being a deal breaker.

"Fine." said Jesse. "But I got one more condition."

"Which is?"

Jesse grinned, feeling a sudden burst of confidence that he knew he hadn't earned.

"I want you to ask."

"Ask what?"

"We made this whole agreement without you having to say out loud what you're askin' me to do."

Hanzo locked eyes with Jesse once again, and blinked twice.

"And this is a condition for you?" Hanzo asked.

"Well, no, I'm gonna help you out either way, cause you're my dear friend and a goddamn fox. But I'd sure like it if you did."

"What sort of sick, twisted megalomaniac are you?"

Jesse said nothing, only widened his smile as slowly and mischievously as he could manage. Hanzo looked at the ground for a second, and then back at Jesse for another, and then back at the ground.

"Jesse." Hanzo started, barely above a murmur. "Would you please..."

Hanzo trailed off, presumably in an attempt to minimize his own shame.

"Consider..." Hanzo continued, "copulation--"

"Alright, never mind." Jesse cut in, and this time, it was Hanzo's turn to smile.

A moment passed, and Jesse felt increasingly unsure of what to say.

"When did you want to start this, uh, arrangement?" Jesse finally asked, unsure if Hanzo's proposition had been the only reason he'd been invited over.

"I was not so methodical with my planning. I figured we would integrate it naturally into our repertoire the next time we were in each other's company."

"Alright."

Another moment of silence passed. Jesse looked at Hanzo's form and tried hard not to get any ideas.

"So, you wanna watch a movie or something?” Jesse asked.

"No. Get out."

"Huh?"

"I have mission reports to write. Please vacate my premises."

"Wha--" Jesse stammered as Hanzo left the kitchen and walked to the front door. "You just invited me over for a half hour to ask me if I wanted to start screwing?"

"Yes."

"Why didn't you just call?"

"We live in the same building." Hanzo replied, opening the door. "Ki wo tsukete."

"Can you give me a minute?"

"For what?"

Jesse didn't respond. Hanzo eyed the hat still in Jesse's lap.

"Are you truly so ungovernable?" asked Hanzo, whirling around again to face the wall.

"What? Started thinking about it, is all. I ain't a god."

"And this has never been more apparent."

Jesse watched in amusement as Hanzo's calm demeanor slipped from him like a cheap strapless dress.

"You do know if we're gonna do this, Hanz, you're gonna have to deal with more than just me getting a--"

"Yes, I am aware. I've simply been somewhat confronted with the...situation."

Hanzo's ears were burning red, and Jesse suddenly realized that at least a significant portion of Hanzo's confidence had been faked. Jesse felt like he should have been embarrassed but with Hanzo acting so riled up he couldn't help but be amused.

"Has your problem dissipated yet?" Hanzo asked, still facing the door

"It's been four seconds. Be patient."

"I apologize. Due to your appearance and profession, I was unaware that you were only fourteen until now."

"Ouch."

"I now understand where you learned to keep such a tight grip on your pistol."

Jesse chuckled. Hanzo was insulting him even more than usual, although that was far from a bad thing.

"Is there anything I can do to assist you?" Hanzo asked.

"You could stay lookin' away while I readju--"

"Fine, fine."

Hanzo stood facing away as Jesse re-positioned himself in his pants like it was junior high again. He removed his hat and strapped it to his back.

"You can look now."

"I would prefer not to."

Brushing past Hanzo, who now had his face in his hands, Jesse moved towards the door.

"You wanna meet me at the range tomorrow?" he asked.

"I have an assignment in Armenia tomorrow. I'll be back in a few days."

"Alright."

"Now please, if you have any remaining smattering of respect for me, get out."

Jesse bid Hanzo a farewell, stepped outside, and shut the door behind him.

A part of him was secretly glad to be out of there, because it meant that he didn't have to suppress the moronic smile threatening to morph onto his face. He roamed the hall in a daze of disbelief, forgetting the way back to his own room and bumping into a few boxes.

He wondered how Hanzo would feel about kissing. 


	2. Kubrick

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey despite the fact that these chapters are named after big movie directors/authors and I've had the characters mention them i swear this isn't going to be a big pretentious lit/film discussion thing and it's just that a famous novel or movie or something is mentioned in every chapter purely by coincidence and I could not think of another way to manage chapter titles.

Two days after his previous exchange with Hanzo, Jesse stood in front of the doors to the shooting range in a final attempt to regain his composure. He'd been psyching himself up for the last fifty hours, alternating between untimely arousal, severe anxiety, and deep, existential dread. Needless to say, he had gotten nothing done, except for excessive amounts of personal grooming.

The rush of slipping a condom into his back pocket before he left had been unreal.

Realizing he was never going to calm his nerves, Jesse gave up and walked through the door. It was the agreed upon time, anyway, and Hanzo never liked it when he was late. He hoisted the small burlap sack he'd brought over his shoulder.

There were two ranges in Watchpoint. One inside, a fancy set-up with holo technology and moving targets, but Jesse and Hanzo always met at the unofficial on the western, outside clearing before the cliff drop.

The sunlight was disappearing quickly behind the western lighthouse. Off in the distance, snug against the water, lay the edge land of a country bordering Spain. Jesse didn't actually know which one, considering the fact that Overwatch agents weren't told the Watchpoint coordinates, at the risk of the information coming out during an interrogation.

Jesse quickly spotted Hanzo standing halfway up the stairs, unloading arrows into the bullseye of a target he and Genji had nailed to the edge of the cliff. Jesse waved, and Hanzo disengaged.

Jesse made his way towards a good speaking range with Hanzo. Not wanting to get punched in the stomach, Jesse had to suppress, even harder than usual, the urge to tell Hanzo how adorable he looked in the later-afternoon light with a bow and a simple yukata that was thankfully covering both his shoulders.

"How'd Armenia go?" Jesse asked, as he would have any other meeting.

Hanzo kept his gaze on the worn target, but the corners of his mouth softened.

"Negotiating the deal was easy." he answered. "The real challenge came when Commander Morrison tried to take the check."

"Oh?"

"He and the prime minister bickered for an hour over who would receive the honor of paying."

"Who won?"

"They agreed on a split, and Morrison sulked the whole way home."

Jesse chuckled at the image. "Did he do the thing were he scowls so hard he gets crossed eyed?"

Hanzo nodded and Jesse watched with amusement as Hanzo did a surprisingly accurate impression of an agitated Morrison before directing his gaze once again to the target with sudden sternness.

The conversation lulled, and Jesse's anxiety started to refresh. Jesse wondered desperately what was going on in Hanzo's mind. Jesse considered referencing their recent conversation to see if it would break the tension, but decided it was too early.

"Brought a little something for us." Jesse said instead, tossing the small burlap bag he had been carrying at Hanzo's feet.

Hanzo lifted the bag with one hand and peered inside.

"Apples?" he asked.

"The Bastion never tries to pump me full of too much lead when I steal from his garden, long as I leave him my leftover sunflower seeds. Thought we could use 'em as today's aiming challenge."

Hanzo eyed Jesse, and then the bag. He reached inside, pulled out a bright red apple, and tossed it out and over the edge of the cliff. Jesse pulled his gun from his holster and blew it into bits at the high point of its arch. A few chunks of apple fell into the ocean below, and a stray gust of wind knocked a fine mist of apple juice into Jesse's face.

"You've had messier ideas." Hanzo snickered as Jesse wiped his eyes.

"Hey, I'm standing by this one. Throw another."

Hanzo tossed another apple, but this time, as a fast ball. Jesse's bullet nicked the top.

"Dirty." Jesse said, and Hanzo looked pleased.

Jesse holstered his gun and grabbed a few apples of his own.

"You wanna try?" he asked.

"I can see no reason not to."

Jesse tossed the apple in a simple arc up and over the water. Hanzo hit it with ease.

"You insult me." said Hanzo, and Jesse grinned.

Jesse threw another apple in a similar fashion. This time he followed it with two more, each paced about a second and a half apart. Hanzo hit them all, and Jesse caught the raw scent of apple for a second before he was once again hit in the face with it.

The next two hours were a clusterfuck of wasted apples and ammo that, to Jesse's relief, resembled any other day they might have had on the range. About half way through, Hanzo got the idea to start nailing airborne apples to the target, a task that proved itself far easier with a bow than with a gun. Eventually, they stole some food from the dining hall just sat at the steps overlooking the ocean while Hanzo gave a more in depth recollection of his most recent mission events.

Jesse pretended not to think about how usually, this would have been the point where they traveled to one of their two sets of quarters to discuss things more intimately or watch a movie.

"It was too loud, too bright, and everyone insisted on touching me while giving their greetings." Hanzo concluded. "And that was while they were still sober."

"You do realize you've said all this 'bout every goddamn European country you've been to, right?"

"Don't slander me. I spoke fondly of Germany."

"You were hammered in Germany."

Hanzo chuckled briefly. His clothing shook with his chest as he laughed, and Jesse wondered for just a moment what Hanzo wore underneath his yukata. Hanzo raised a questioning eyebrow, and Jesse realized he had just been caught staring.

"Could I interest you in departing from this location in favor of somewhere else?" Hanzo asked.

"You still hungry or something?" Jesse asked back, and he struggled to contain the wince that directly preceded his words.

"No. Are you?"

"Not particularly."

Hanzo breathed, long and slow, before he replied. He got to his feet.

"Come to my quarters." Hanzo stated, somewhere between an order and a suggestion.

"Anything in particular you wanted to do?" Jesse asked as he got to his own feet.

"Are you an idiot?"

"Just making sure I know what I'm gettin' into."

Hanzo began to walk, and Jesse followed him.

"And I thought you prided yourself as an adaptable person." Hanzo answered, and Jesse grinned as he felt a smidgen of all-too serious tension melt away, although his question remained mostly unanswered.

"Not when I'm sober."

"We have ways of fixing that."

"I'd be happy to, but I don't gotta."

"Given the situation, I might have to."

"Get hammered?"

"Yes."

"Like in Germany?"

"Not quite to that extent."

Jesse laughed, and Hanzo's mouth softened. Hanzo reached for the gourd of sake at his hip, and took a deep swig as they walked.

They halted at Hanzo's door. Hanzo punched in the door code.

"Come in." Hanzo instructed.

"You gonna put on some jazz?" Jesse asked, honoring the silent agreement he and Hanzo had apparently made at some point to relentlessly dance around the subject.

"Only if I find I need the aid."

Jesse followed Hanzo inside. It was late in the the afternoon, and the last few beams of natural sunlight seeping though Hanzo's half-curtained window was the only light source, besides a dim lamp. Hanzo tended not to use his overhead lights no matter how dark it got. Jesse had never really thought to care before, however he now felt grateful, as the lack of light made the situation less intimidating.

He could still, however, make out the shape of Hanzo perfectly under his clothing, which would have been tortuous enough even without recent events.

Hanzo downed the rest of his drink. He set the gourd on the coffee table in front of the couch, and Jesse handed him the bottle of cheap whiskey he had brought. Hanzo immediately began to sip it, spilling a little into the black folds of his yukata.

"Might wanna slow down there." Jesse warned.

"Fear not. This was how I lasted through my thirties."

Hanzo put the whiskey down next to the empty gourd but still refused to meet Jesse's mildly amused gaze, opting instead to make a beeline for the sink. Jesse sat down on the couch like he'd done a hundred times before and and took a swig of the whiskey.

"Sorry I didn't bring somethin' nicer." Jesse said. "I was gonna borrow money from your brother to buy something a little more boo-zee, but he kindly pointed out to me that I already owe him a couple hundred grand."

Usually, Hanzo would have snorted or made a snarky comment back at a statement like that, but this time, he only nodded. Although it was subtle, Jesse could tell that he was nervous, from minute details in his body language that Jesse only picked up on because he was so familiar, and the tiny flinch in his face when Jesse clunked his bottle down on the table.

"You alright?" Jesse asked. "Seem a bit jumpy, even after all that ketamine."

"I'm fine."

"Cause I'd understand if you were nervous."

"Stop reading into it."

"Perfectly reasonable situation to be a bit, how should I say, ungoverned in."

"You're mocking me." Hanzo accused, turning to Jesse's smile.

"A little. Would you rather I didn't?"

"No, I would be appalled if you didn't. But must you acknowledge the fact that there is indeed a situation?"

"Situation?" Jesse asked, grinning as obviously as he could manage. "What situation? The one where you invited me over to screw you and now we're both kinda uncertain of how or when to start? Or were you gettin' at something else?"

A few drops of Hanzo's most recent sip of whiskey landed on his shirt. Hanzo scowled while Jesse repressed a laugh that was threatening to come out as a giggle.

"Your bluntness is not as charming as you think it is." Hanzo replied, smiling the way he did when Jesse sent an insult his way that was spot on.

"That's a lie if I ever heard one. Everybody thinks my bluntness is charming."

"Everyone?"

"Well, mostly old ladies."

Jesse smiled at Hanzo's quiet laugh as the air started to feel softer. Hanzo gave Jesse a half-smile that Jesse read as ' _what the fuck did we get ourselves into',_ and Jesse easily reciprocated it.

"Hey I..." Jesse stammered as he caught his breath. "Can we just--look, I'm all for subtly, but I'd kinda like to ask a few genuine questions."

"Ask."

"How do you wanna do this?"

To Jesse's surprise, Hanzo chuckled again. This time, it was a nervous, quiet, endeared sort of chuckle that Jesse had never once heard Hanzo make before.

"Truthfully, I don't know." Hanzo answered. "I believe a few minutes to ease ourselves and ease the alcohol we have consumed into our bloodstreams would do us well."

"You wanna watch something?"

"No, but I would like it if you put something on."

Jesse could relate.

"Any preference?" he asked.

"Not in particular." Hanzo replied, taking another shot. "Something easy to digest, I suppose. Nothing too dark or specifically tailored to be thought provoking."

"We could give Clockwork Orange another try."

"Perfect."

Jesse messed with Hanzo's computer and monitors until he had properly pirated the movie. He accidentally installed copious amounts of malware on Hanzo's hard drive to do so, but that was probably fine.

Jesse flopped back on the couch once he had finished, to Hanzo's left. They didn't usually rewatch movies. However Jesse suspected he would have a difficult time following something right now that he hadn't already seen.

"Oh." Hanzo said. "I have forgotten something. To ask you to turn your phone off."

Jesse raised an eyebrow and pulled out his phone. He complied, seeing no reason not to.

"Any reason why?" Jesse asked.

"You would think me a paranoid old man if I were to tell you."

"What do you mean, 'would'?" Jesse asked. Hanzo scoffed.

The movie started.

Watching movies with Hanzo was usually somewhat of a social endeavor. The two of them swapped their own comments any time there wasn't any active dialogue happening. This time, however, Hanzo was nearly dead silent for the first few minutes, only complaining a little about the length of the opening credits.

Jesse had always thought Hanzo looked good late in the day, in a dark room with his features lit up by a screen. In his peripheral vision, Jesse eyed the tie holding up Hanzo's hair and the tie holding Hanzo's yukata closed.

"Fan of Beethoven?" Jesse asked about five minutes in, needing to cut the silence before he combusted.

"I'm not opposed, but not enthusiastic, either. I haven't listened to enough European composers to spot any distinction in his style."

Jesse nodded. In the corner of his eye, he caught Hanzo's mouth turn up, just the tiniest bit.

"Genji," Hanzo added, "used to sing gibberish to the tune of Ode to Joy. It was not a pleasant experience."

Jesse smiled a little at the thought.

"Oh." Hanzo said, about a minute later.

"Hmm?"

"All that I've had to drink has just presented itself to me."

Jesse poured himself one last drink.

"How far gone are you?" Jesse asked.

"As far as is appropriate for the situation." Hanzo answered, and Jesse took that to mean 'just past tipsy'. He could tell Hanzo wasn't too drunk because his ears weren't turning red and he hadn't made a single dad joke.

Jesse placed his empty glass on the table for good, wanting to stay mostly within his better judgement. Hanzo did the same, and they returned to watching the movie. Or at least, in Jesse's case, pretending to watch the movie. He couldn't have kept his focus on any movie right now, with Hanzo sitting so close.

"I always have trouble pinpointing just how much of this film is distinctly tailored to be judicial and how much is surreal nonsense." Hanzo said.

"Let's say it’s judicial. What's your take?"

"That Britannic judicial systems are horribly unregulated."

Jesse scoffed.

"What?" Hanzo asked.

"If this movie's about anything, it's over-regulation. No such thing as too unregulated, honey."

"Enjoy your preconceived bias."

"Yeah, you too."

Hanzo sent Jesse a little side-eyed glare of faux irritation. Jesse ignored the shiver up his spine to reply with a cocky little shrug

There was another moment of silence. Jesse was burning with uncertainty, uncertainty over whether he should verbally confront the situation once again or just...go for it.

Hanzo's thighs were flat against the seat of the couch, and spread just enough so that Jesse could see them both individually under his attire. Jesse blamed his buzz for his inability to stop focusing on them within his peripheral vision.

"Will you do something for me?" Hanzo asked, just a little above a mumble.

"What can I do you for?"

Hanzo paused, and Jesse got caught on the sideways silhouette of Hanzo's face, particularly on the part between his nose and chin.

"Will you," Hanzo started, the words trembling, "initiate this encounter?"

"Sure."

It was strange, to see Hanzo so uncertain. As nerve-wracking as it was, Jesse somehow felt special, getting a glimpse of the human insecurities that Hanzo kept hidden from the world. Jesse lit a cigarette, needing something to do with his mouth. For once, Hanzo didn't stop him.

"I apologize for my lack of composure." said Hanzo.

"Please don't. It's kinda helping me feel like the adult of the situation." Jesse replied, knowing he was tipsy enough for his comment to be taken seriously.

"Must be a new experience for you."

"Hey now, new experiences are what I'm situated here for."

Hanzo eyed Jesse's raising brows with a mocking glare.

"The point is, regarding my composure," Hanzo continued, gesturing with his hands, "I have simply never made such an arrangement with someone who I..."

"Who you...?" Jesse questioned, smiling like an idiot in anticipation.

"Who I..."

"Who you care..."

"Who I care...about, before. And I'm sure you may have noticed that I hesitate in partaking in activities I am not already--proficient--in." Hanzo replied, faltering for a moment as Jesse laid a hand across his left knee and started to rub.

"Bad habit, if you ask me." Jesse said, turning his head to blow a puff of smoke away from Hanzo's face.

"But I--I want this." Hanzo continued. "If that was not clear."

Jesse squeezed Hanzo's thigh in agreement. Hanzo let out a little breath. He reached for the cigarette in Jesse's mouth and took a drawl.

"I am rambling." Hanzo said, handing it back.

"It's alright."

"I'm saying much too little in too many w--"

"You got a pretty mouth, you know that?"

Hanzo's eyes widened. His lips parted, and the movement furthered Jesse's focus on them. There was still an inch and a half left on his cigarette, but Jesse snuffed it on his metal arm. He slid it into his knock-off oxford flannel shirt pocket so that if it started a fire, he would notice.

"Thank you." Hanzo murmured, and he tilted his gaze downward as Jesse placed metal two fingers under his chin and turned his face so that they were eye to eye.

Keeping his right hand on Hanzo's knee, Jesse ran the metal pad of his left thumb over Hanzo's bottom lip. He wasn't sure how Hanzo felt about kissing on the mouth in these kind of arrangements, but he was quick to notice the quick glance Hanzo stole at his lips.

"I'd like to know how it feels, if you'd let me." Jesse whispered.

"I suppose it would shut me up."

Not having to lean in far at all, Jesse cocked his head to the right and caught Hanzo's mouth under his own in a simple, soft press.

His chest swelled.

Jesse pulled back an inch after just a moment, fluttering his eyelids open just in time to register the spark. There was a mutually heavy exhale, and Jesse struggled to regulate the shallowness of his breath, mildly in awe of what he had just done.

"Are you certain of this?" Hanzo muttered, the words crashing as hot breath against Jesse's face.

"I'm pretty damn sure." Jesse replied, and he cut himself off with another short kiss before he told Hanzo the extent to which he was pretty damn sure, and then another when he was met with no resistance. This time, their mouths lingered.

Jesse turned further into the exchange, and Hanzo followed, until their torso's were both sideways with the length of the couch. Jesse cupped his hand around Hanzo's face, while his other palm rested against Hanzo's thigh. Their lips parted, and Jesse introduced a bit of movement in a series of dry, sliding presses, but the whole thing still felt just a tad too sweet for the context. Jesse gave Hanzo's leg another squeeze.

"Yawarakai." Hanzo mumbled.

"What does that mean?" asked Jesse, not letting his mouth fall completely from Hanzo's, but moving back enough to speak.

"It means we are being too sentimental." Hanzo answered, and he put two hands around Jesse's collar.

Jesse gasped when he pulled.

Hanzo's lips parted again, quicker this time. Jesse's breathing faltering more that he would have liked to admit, and it stopped altogether for a oxygen-lacking moment when Hanzo slipped his delightfully soft tongue into Jesse's open mouth. Jesse reciprocated with his own without a second thought, letting their mouths work against each other in a catch and warm scrape of lips as their tongues hinted at each other. The kisses were still delicate, but the lines between where one started and another ended became lost.

The whole thing tasted like apples.

Jesse switched the position of his hands to make things more comfortable, moving his metal one to trace Hanzo's thighs, and his flesh one against Hanzo's face.

Hanzo pulled away with an audible, strangely appealing pop. Jesse resisted the urge to chase his mouth, and did his best to hide the fact that he was panting.

"You're shaking." Hanzo said, and Jesse didn't miss the breathlessness.

"So are you." 

"Fuck off."

"You fuck off."

Jesse was close enough to Hanzo's face that he felt him scowl. Jesse grinned.

Hanzo leaned back in with parted lips, and Jesse slid a hand under the hem of Hanzo's yukata. It was true that they were both trembling. On Jesse's part, it was half from nerves, and half from the unadulterated giddiness that he was struggling hard to hide the extent of. He couldn't say with complete certainty what it was for Hanzo, but Jesse suspected from the state of the cloth covering Hanzo's pelvis that it couldn't have been anything too negative.

Jesse groaned as the hands on his collar made their ways into his hair. With the palm that wasn't sliding up Hanzo's bare knee, he reached to Hanzo's hair ribbon.

"May I?" he asked, pulling away with another pop.

"Please."

Jesse leaned back enough to get a good view of Hanzo's half-lidded, dark eyes, and pulled the ribbon, spilling inky hair over Hanzo's shoulders.

"What?" Hanzo asked, and Jesse realized that he had parted his lips and raised an eyebrow against his own conscious volition. His heart jolted when Hanzo set his legs into his lap.

"Nothin'." Jesse answered, brushing Hanzo's hair off his left shoulder. "That was kinda sexy."

"Kind of?"

"It was real sexy."

Hanzo's little scoff of amusement turned into an audible groan as Jesse buried his face into the crook of his neck. Hanzo turned his head outward to aid the situation, and Jesse sighed, overwhelmed by warm, amplified scent of Hanzo and his particular brand of laundry detergent. The skin under Jesse's mouth was soft as he sucked and pressed open mouth kisses against the crook of his shoulder. With the hand not pulling through Hanzo's hair, he traced further up Hanzo's leg, and chuckled in amusement when he discovered the knife Hanzo apparently kept strapped to his leg.

"That's cute." Jesse murmured against Hanzo's collar bone, tapping the knife.

"You're drunk."

"I'm at like a three."

Hanzo shuddered when Jesse scrapped his teeth against his neck, but he quickly stiffened.

"Don't leave a mark." Hanzo ordered.

"How easily do you bruise?" Jesse asked, bent on the idea of taking a bite.

"With less force than I would like to admit."

"Maybe I should suck somewhere people ain't gonna see."

"Where did you have in mind?"

Jesse wrapped both his hands around the tie just above Hanzo's waist.

"Can I take this off?" he asked, giving the smooth curve of Hanzo's torso a little squeeze.

"You'll do it wrong." Hanzo replied, and he undid the tie himself. His yukata opened, exposing the front of his body. He shook the material from his shoulders, leaving the mess of fabric only covering his lower half.

Jesse stared. It wasn't anything he hadn't seen, with shirt changes during training sessions, but never so closely and in such a... context.

"What?" asked Hanzo a second time.

"This is nice." Jesse answered. He wrapped his metal arm back around Hanzo's waist, and placed his other hand tentatively against the skin of his left pec.

"I am aware."

"Well, ain't we cocksure all of a sudden."

"You act as though I have never caught you admiring what I have to offer."

Jesse thumbed over the soft skin of Hanzo's left nipple until it pointed itself. Hanzo shuddered.

"You got a habit of showin' off all that you 'have to offer'." Jesse replied. "Can you blame me?"

"I was not."

Jesse felt like he was on unstable ground, admitting to any lust that he'd had before this agreement had been made. He took a deep breath and pressed himself into Hanzo's chest before Hanzo's dark eyes made him say anything else.

Hanzo smelled pretty, and when Jesse opened his mouth, he found that Hanzo tasted pretty too. He sucked the muscle of the left swell of Hanzo's chest, feeling the skin heat under his lips. Hanzo wrapped a hand around Jesse's back and another into his hair and pulled. There was a groan, audible and sharp, when Jesse ran his tongue over Hanzo's nipple and took it into his mouth.

Figuring Hanzo would stop him if he was in pain, Jesse brought his left hand up to pinch the other nub of flesh, and Jesse turned his head with interest as Hanzo made another little sound.

"Always wondered if you had a thing about these." said Jesse, punctuating his comment with a little squeeze.

"Always?"

"Hyperbole. Don't think about it."

Little pink marks were raising in Hanzo's chest, and Jesse pressed a kiss to one of them before moving his gaze a little lower. He brushed away the cloth in Hanzo's lap, and Hanzo shuffled around to completely slide it off. He kept his legs in Jesse's lap, but he leaned back, supporting himself on the closest arm of the couch. He slipped the knife out of it's holster and dropped it on the ground by his discarded clothing.

"Christ." Jesse said, suddenly feeling like he hadn't had enough to drink.

"What?"

"I...uh..."

The imprint of how much Hanzo was enjoying himself was fully traceable under his short grey briefs. A tiny spot of the fabric, bunched over the tip of his hard on, was a darker color that the rest of the grey, dampened with precum. Jesse glanced back up at Hanzo's face, darkened with arousal.

It was at that moment that Jesse stopped feeling like the adult.

"Are you just going to stare?" Hanzo asked, looking genuinely embarrassed.

Jesse blinked, absolutely terrified.

"You're afraid." Hanzo followed, his voice quieter. It wasn't a question.

"I'm goddamn petrified, sweetheart, but please don't let that make you think I don't want this." Jesse replied, grabbing Hanzo's hand and placing it against the pained fabric over the bulge in his pants as proof.

"Would you like to discuss your fear?"

"I do suppose _it_ is my turn for a nervous breakdown."

"At least I had the decency to have mine before the blood had left our brains."

"Go to hell." Jesse said.

They both smiled briefly. Jesse felt a little better.

"Out with it." Hanzo ordered.

"Look, it's complicated, and I'm still trying to put it into words."

"Fine, then, take your time."

"And it ain't just one thing, neither."

"Alright."

"It's a bunch a' stuff, but everything's connected in some way or--"

"Would you like to grind while we speak?"

Jesse's lips parted in surprise. He eyed Hanzo's face to find it was stone cold serious, as always.

"What?" Jesse asked.

"You are clearly conflicted enough for a full discussion. Would you like to grind while we have it?"

"Um."

Hanzo removed himself from Jesse's lap and sat down on the floor, then motioned for Jesse to join. Jesse fumbled his way out of his boots and belt buckle and stepped from his pants. With two strong arms, Hanzo helped to guide Jesse's body over his own and maneuvered their pelvises together, slotting their legs together. Jesse propped his upper body onto his elbows.

As terrifying as it was, Hanzo's body was an absolute pleasure to have under him.

"Tell me. What is troubling you?" Hanzo said, and Jesse's eyes widened when he tilted their pelvises together in a clear invitation.

Jesse reciprocated the experimental rut, and a hot spark shot through him as he found them properly lined up. Hanzo groaned, and Jesse repeated the process.

"Ok, first of all, why do you gotta be so goddamn beautiful?" blurted Jesse to the smoky-eyed, perfectly symmetrical face a mere six inches from his own. Hanzo smiled dirty, grabbed Jesse by the hips, and added a touch of consistent speed.

"Worried about your performance?" Hanzo asked.

"Yeah, kinda."

"Intimidated, now that you're-- _oh_ \--so close?"

Jesse looked down again to Hanzo's perfect face, caught on the pink flush splashed under his eyes and across the bridge of his nose, and the dark hair that spilled around his head and shifted against the floor as Hanzo lightly bounced.

Jesse swallowed and nodded.

"You are performing fine." Hanzo said.

"But it ain't--it ain't just that, it's--

Jesse cut himself off with a gasp as Hanzo sunk his hands into his ass and pushed the two of them close together for an especially slow and deep thrust.

"My apologies." Hanzo breathed, clearly not sorry. "Continue."

"I--don't know."

Truthfully, Jesse didn't know with any exact degree of certainty. Distant fears of not being able to get it up or finishing at an inappropriate time swirled around his brain, even despite the fact that they hadn't been problems in two decades. And that wasn't even counting the issue that he couldn't voice, the one where he was in love and lying about it.

"You think too much, Jesse."

"Now, that I think about it, you got a--'"

Jesse was cut off as Hanzo captured his lips in a deep, bruising kiss. Their hips continued to work against each other, seeking more depth, and Jesse felt the two pieces of thin, moving fabric between the two of their pelvises mutually dampen in the midst of friction. Hanzo's hands were all over him, squeezing at appropriate times, and Jesse momentarily wished they were in a position where he could get a better angle with his hands on Hanzo's butt.

The flame of it was intoxicating. It was a deep, fundamental sort of arousal that burned through Jesse's abdomen. He pulled away from Hanzo's mouth with an appealing pop.

"You'd make a good shrink." Jesse said.

"Sometimes, I-- _ah_ \--wish you were as stupid as you looked."

Jesse snickered a bit for a tiny moment of helplessness before tipping forward and burrowing his face in Hanzo's neck. Hanzo pulled a hand through Jesse's hair, urging him towards a specific spot on his shoulder, and when Jesse scraped his teeth again it, the sigh Hanzo made was incredible, a little stuttering groan.

"Don't leave a ma..." said Hanzo.

"Hm?" Jesse hummed, lifting his head up an inch.

"Eh, never mind." Hanzo replied, threading his hand through Jesse's hair and pulling him back down.

Under Jesse's hips, Hanzo squirmed for more contact. The physical pressure was enough to turn Jesse hot about eight times over, but he suspected they would need a lot more of it to achieve the result that Hanzo had specifically sought him for. Pressing one more kiss to the crook of Hanzo's neck, Jesse pulled up to look Hanzo in the eyes.

Hanzo licked his lips and Jesse was suddenly struck with a very specific desire.

"How do you wanna finish?" Jesse asked.

"Huh?"

"How do you wanna come? You wanna come under me like this? Or do you got-- _damn_ \--somethin' else in mind?"

"It sounds as if you are the one with the alternate idea."

"Well, I'll just say that you warmed up my mouth."

From the way Hanzo's pupils dilated, Jesse felt he assumed he had gotten the drift.

Hanzo removed his hands from Jesse's midsection and slowed his hips.

"I suppose taking advantage of your oral fixation is more appealing to me than concluding this with all the dignity of a high school prom."

Jesse didn't need to be told twice. Completely disengaging their abused hips, Jesse shifted lower until he was eye level with a very different part of Hanzo.

"May I?" asked Jesse, hooking a finger under the band of Hanzo's ruined underwear, but he didn't pull.

Hanzo responded by pushing Jesse's face between his legs. Jesse groaned at the scent of precum and mouthed the swell under the fabric.

"This looks nice." Jesse said as he pulled up for air.

"It is overwhelmingly standard." Hanzo replied, and Jesse let out a genuine chuckle as he pulled the fabric down.

"Oh." Jesse mumbled.

Hanzo had lied. Flushed pink with obvious arousal, Hanzo's cock was objectively a pretty thing, at least for genitalia, considering it's symmetry. Nestled in dark, well-trimmed pubes, it curved slightly inward to nearly touch his stomach.

Size-wise, it was pretty standard. Despite everything, Jesse felt a prick of relief because if Hanzo Shimada had been an expert marksman, tactical genius, physical god, clever piece of shit who spoke English as a second language better than Jesse spoke it as a first _and_ had a bigger penis, Jesse might have kicked him out.

"You're gawking." Hanzo said.

"Yeah, well, you've got something worth staring at."

Hanzo laughed at that, hard enough to shake both of their bodies.

"I have a lot that is worth staring at." he snickered. "Although I've never thought genitalia to be-- _oh._ "

Hanzo cut himself off with a little sigh as Jesse ran his tongue from the base to the tip of what was in front of him, unable to help himself any longer.

"Surprised you ain't cut." Jesse said, pulling back up.

"You do realize that is not a commonplace in most of the world, do you not? Or are you simply that short-sighted?"

Jesse answered by pushing his head down and taking Hanzo in his mouth. The response was immediate as Jesse tightened his cheeks and gave a teasing slide. Hanzo groaned and pushed his hands deep into Jesse's hair. Precum was already leaking into Jesse's mouth, and Jesse wondered how close Hanzo had been.

"I am not going to last." Hanzo muttered as Jesse worked his tongue against the head.

Jesse let muscle memory take over and focused on the sounds of Hanzo's shaky breath. Sucking dick was a secret pleasure of Jesse's, something he hadn't gotten many chances to do as he'd had very few male partners in his life.

On the next pull, he sunk passed his gag reflex and pushed to the base of his mouthful, and the ragged breaths turned into ragged Japanese. Jesse had to adjust his hips against the hard floor, as the situation was proving to be torturous for his own cock.

To an Americanized extent, Jesse prided himself in his detachment from his own emotions. However, at that moment Jesse learned that no amount of emotional stunting could save a man from getting his mouth around his best friend's dick.

Hanzo pulled at Jesse's hair and encouraged him to increase in speed until he was mouth-fucking Hanzo nice and proper.

"I feel--I should warn you--" Hanzo stammered, "I have not-- _nnnhg._ "

Jesse made a questioning little hum.

"I have not--" Hanzo continued, "concluded--for some time."

Jesse was unsure as to why Hanzo was warning him of that, but instead of asking about it, he slid his right hand up Hanzo's chest, got his nipple snug between two of his fingers, and started to rub.

" _Uh_." Hanzo moaned over the quiet background sound of Beethoven's 9th, pressing forwards with his hips to increase friction.

Hanzo was louder than Jesse had expected. Not that Hanzo was louder than any other partner Jesse'd had; in fact, his breath hitched at a pretty standard pace. Jesse just hadn't expected him to be so open about the fact that he was enjoying himself.

Hanzo's back arched. He was grinding against Jesse's face now, and tugging Jesse's face forward with his hands, but Jesse could tell he was holding back. He could also tell Hanzo was close, from the way he was breathing and how his thighs were starting to quiver.

" _Ikuzou_." Hanzo muttered, sounding like he was giving another warning. Jesse didn't know exactly what Hanzo had said verbally, but when he cried out and the even rhythm of his hips faltered, Jesse caught the idea.

Jesse's stomach flipped. He was glad his mouth was occupied, or else he'd be sputtering about how bad he'd wanted to hear Hanzo orgasm, how much he'd thought about it, how fucking hot it was that he was getting to see it now and how he was the one who'd caused it, maybe a poorly timed declaration of love--

Hanzo swore loudly and pressed his hips forward in a hard, long, shaky thrust, and Jesse realized with a start why Hanzo had warned him about not having concluded in a while as suddenly, the situation became even harder to swallow.

Jesse did his best to down the thick liquid that was still rushing into his mouth, although a few drops of it ended up rolling down to his chin. He pulled away, wiped his face as best he could, and found Hanzo, half-lidded and slack.

"You alright there?" Jesse asked, seating himself next to his naked companion.

Hanzo made an unintelligible noise in response, and his eyes fluttered closed.

"Didn't quite catch that." Jesse followed.

"'m alright."

"You sleepy?"

" _No._ " Hanzo yawned.

Jesse remembered that Hanzo was tipsy, operating on very little sleep, and had just spilled for the first time in apparently a while.

"You need some help?" Jesse asked.

"I can manage myself."

Jesse watched as Hanzo weakly lifted an arm, only to have it fall back down. He snickered as he scooped Hanzo into his arms, and stopped snickering when he realized just how heavy Hanzo was.

"I apologize." Hanzo said as Jesse carried him into the bedroom.

"I don't mind none."

"You did not finish. It feels unfair."

"Trust me, honey, I'm gonna have a lot to think about when I get back."

Hanzo gave a tired little smile as Jesse passed through the door frame and deposited Hanzo on the covers of his tatami mats.

"Do not think me the kind of man who would leave a debt unpaid." Hanzo said as Jesse pulled the covers back.

"I'm sure you will, but you don't gotta think about that right now."

Jesse helped Hanzo under the blankets. He ruffled Hanzo's messy hair, resisting the urge to kiss his forehead.

"You want some water or something?" asked Jesse.

"Go to hell." Hanzo replied, sleepily rolling his eyes. Jesse felt a momentary prick of confusion before he realized Hanzo had thought he was joking.

Jesse didn't correct him.

"I'll see you soon, Shimada." Jesse said, turning to leave.

"Wait."

"Hmm?"

"Although tonight did not go how I had planned--"

"Didn't go how I planned, neither."

"--I believe this was successful."

"I'll drink to that." Jesse replied. "Or, I would."

"Glad we are in agreement. You may leave now."

Jesse left with an idiotic smile plastered go his face. He didn't stop smiling as he roamed the halls, nor did he stop as he wandered back to his own room in a daze. He could barely stop even when he jerked himself off to the shape of Hanzo's body and sounds of him calling out in pleasure. It was an unbelievably freeing experience, as he was finally do it without feeling guilty for who he was thinking about.

He didn't stop smiling until he passed out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey i took so long to update again I was busy doing "things".
> 
>  


	3. Coppola

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey what's up kids itssinenoon drew some stuff for this chapter for me (i cri) and you can see them at https://twitter.com/itssinenoon/status/1071860943364206595

Two nights went by. To the relief of nerves that Jesse hadn't known were there, everything was the same between him and Hanzo, from their banter to their cups of tea and coffee. Neither of them had mentioned what had happened, but Jesse was fine enough with that, considering their previous mutual agreement that the test run was successful, and the fact that neither of them went back on those declarations of success.

So Jesse was content. A little too content, actually. He floated.

What he thought most about was the kissing. The way Hanzo's mouth had felt under his, the way he breathed while their lips worked together, and the softness of his tongue all stayed in the back of his mind and resurfaced at untimely moments in his day. Like when Morrison asked who he wanted to room with on tomorrow night's mission to Los Angeles.

"So should I put you with the older Shimada, per usual?" Morrison asked.

Despite all of the government spending and minor amounts of embezzlement Overwatch financially benefited from, Morrison liked to pinch pennies, which meant a lot of doubling and occasionally quadrupling up in cheap hotel rooms on missions. Hanzo and Jesse tended to room together, as Hanzo refused to room with anyone else for a variety of reasons, ranging from a mutual animosity to hygiene complaints.

"Um." Jesse replied.

He wasn't completely sure why, but he was hit with a sudden wave of anxiety.

"Let me ask him." he followed.

"Ask? You always room together."

"Hey, we don't always."

"You and that sullen weirdo spend every second in each other's sights. I'd be surprised if you two didn't piss in neighboring urinals."

"Watchpoint ain't got urinals."

"Don't take it literally."

"Then what the hell is it a metaphor for?"

"A sort of friendship that I will never understand."

Jesse sighed. He gave Morrison a little glare.

"I'll ask him next time I see him," started Jesse, "a--"

"Five minutes from now?"

"--and then I'll give you my answer."

Morrison took off with a smug little smirk that kind of made Jesse want to punch him in the face. However, he resisted, as many years ago, Jesse had learned the hard way that punching Morrison in the face didn't lead to anything pretty.

Jesse sighed as he made his way towards the range. He held the door open for Fareeha as she passed by.

"Ma’am." he greeted.

"Thank you, McCree." she replied, giving a mock tip of a hat that wasn't there. Jesse rolled his eyes with a grin and Fareeha let out a chuckle as she walked away.

Jesse's phone buzzed. He fished it out of his pocket and found it was from Hanzo. Jesse felt a prick of confusion; Hanzo never texted unless he absolutely had to.

 **>** **From Hanzo:**  
Help me.

Jesse's eyes widened. Adrenaline pricked into his blood.

 **>** **To Hanzo:**  
where are you?

 **>** **To Hanzo:**  
are you ok?

 **>** **To Hanzo:**  
please speak to me. are you ok?

 **>** **From Hanzo:**  
No.

 **>** **From Hanzo:**  
Dr. Ziegler cornered me in the breakroom to talk about Genji's next birthday and she refuses to let me leave no matter how rude I am.

Jesse's relief outlived his irritation, but just barely.

 **>** **From Hanzo:**  
Come down with an excuse to get me out.

 **>** **To Hanzo:**  
ain't you a prodigy

 **>** **From Hanzo:**  
I have to go she's making me put my pho

Jesse walked down to the breakroom. He entered to find Hanzo and Angela sitting on the couch; Angela in the middle, fully turned towards Hanzo, and Hanzo, pressed up as far against the arm of the couch as he could manage. Angela was talking.

"...so as long as you take care of the cake, everything should be fine. What kind of--"

"Mighty sorry to interrupt," Jesse cut in, "but Ana's looking for you, Hanzo. Somethin' about the last experimental vaccine she gave you and ' _unforeseen side effects_ '."

"Is it urgent?" Hanzo asked.

"She sure made it seem like it was."

"Very well."

Hanzo got to his feet. Angela looked a little suspicious.

"Ma’am." Jesse greeted her, tipping his hat.

"Hello, McCree."

"That a new blouse?"

Angela's face softened. Hanzo rolled his eyes.

"Yes. You're the first to notice." she answered.

"I won't be the last. Looks nice."

Angela gave an sheepish sort of scoff as she smiled, and Jesse felt a sense of accomplishment.

Hanzo cleared his throat.

"See you later." Jesse called as he and Hanzo slipped from the breakroom.

Angela waved them off.

"You have my thanks." said Hanzo once they were halfway down the hall.

"You need me to help you tie your shoes, too?" Jesse asked. "It's ok, everybody gets anxious on their first day a' school."

"I offered you my gratitude, and you retaliate with mockery. What a cruel man you are."

Despite everything, Jesse snickered at the dryness of Hanzo's tone.

"Why didn't you just leave?" he asked.

"She blocked the door every time I tried."

"And you didn't just push past her?"

"I would have knocked her to the ground had she not been wed to my brother, who I have no intentions of further disservicing."

The conversation lulled. Hanzo stopped at the door to the sparring room and leaned against the wall next to it in an open invitation.

"You wanna room together in Los Angeles?" Jesse blurted.

Hanzo stared for a moment before speaking.

"We usually room together." he answered. "Why do you choose this time to ask?"

"Just wanted to make sure you were comfortable with it." Jesse stammered, realizing he had absolutely no idea where he was going with this.

Hanzo stared for a little while longer.

"Do you want to room together?" he asked.

"Well, yeah. I like roomin' with you."

"Are you asking me if I want to room together, or if I want to 'room together'?"

"What the hell's that supposed to mean?"

"You tell me. You are supposed to be the blunt one in this arrangement."

"Hey, now, I ain't just a stereotype."

Hanzo eyed Jesse, long and hard, with something indistinguishable between amusement and condescension.

"Yes." he replied once he was done.

"Huh?"

"Yes. I would like to room together in Los Angeles, and all that implies with it."

"Alrighty then."

"Now, would you care to join me?" Hanzo asked, pointing into the sparring room.

"Give me a minute. I gotta text Jack."

 **>** **To Morrison:**  
put me with Shimada

 **>** **From Morrison:**  
already did

 **>** **From Morrison:**  
got you a room with two queens.

 **>** **From Morrison:**  
seemed fitting

 **>** **To Morrison:**  
derogatory, commander. and in this century? you ought to be ashamed

 **>** **From Morrison:**  
you know damn well I learned that word from you.

Hanzo dragged Jesse into the sparring room.

~~~~

The first half of the mission went underwhelmingly fine. It was a simple enough six agent stakeout, tasked with some easy bug planting and first degree murder. Everything got set into place with no surprise variables, and to Jesse's relief, he and Hanzo's company during the down parts of the endeavor had been just as easy and pleasant as always.

Jesse towel dried his hair as he made his way up the stairs of the cheapest motel Morrison could find. Hanzo had retired early, refusing Jesse and Genji's offer to dick around in the motel pool, claiming it smelled too strongly of urine and economic hardships.

Stepping to his door, Jesse passed by Lucio and Hana. He listened in on their conversation, hoping for some piece of information that would help him better understand what young people were up to.

"On one hand, I'm happy about the nsfw purge." said Hana. "Because I think it might actually kill the site. And honestly, that might be for the best. I feel like it's become too much a platform for a culmination of all the worst parts of every social movement, one that actively encourages people in favor of cathartic venting and misanthropic defeatism instead of organization and advocacy for positive, realistically-paced change."

"Mood." Lucio replied.

"But on the other hand, where am I supposed to go to jerk off now?"

"Bigger mood."

Jesse stopped trying to understand what young people were up to and waved his hand in front of his face to make sure he hadn't had a stroke. He knocked at the door to his assigned room.

Hanzo didn't answer. Jesse pushed the door open, hoping he didn't reek too much of chlorine.

He eyed his surroundings. The room was small, pretty standard for a chain motel. It smelled strongly of cheap cigarette smoke, and Jesse caught more than one corner housing a spider. But the beds looked clean enough. Hanzo was kneeling on the bed closest to the window, eyes closed and hands set in a pose that Jesse recognized as meditation. Hanzo had ditched the casual jeans and t-shirt he wore while undercover and returned to his usual fine, silken clothing. Jesse couldn't help but think of how he contrasted with the white paint peeling off of the wall behind him.

Jesse knew better to interrupt Hanzo while he was meditating. He took a shower, changed his own clothes, and made sure all his stuff had been brought in. For a while, he tried to read, but he found the sight across from his to be too distracting.

"I cannot focus when you stare." Hanzo said, eyes still closed. Jesse flinched.

"How did you know I'm starin'?"

"You do so very loudly."

Jesse had no idea what that meant. He closed his book. Hanzo's eyes fluttered open.

"You hungry?" Jesse asked.

"No, I've already fed myself. And you?"

"Not in particular. Your brother and I ate a bunch a' redvines from the vending machine in the lobby."

Hanzo scoffed and Jesse grinned.

"What time is it?" Hanzo asked as he got out of bed.

"Midnight." Jesse answered. "We gotta be up in six hours."

"I suppose we do."

"Not the worst place we've spent the night in."

Hanzo chuckled and Jesse briefly reminisced about the time they spent the night in a literal dumpster to avoid gunfire.

"Still, the view's nice." Jesse followed.

Hanzo turned towards the window, confused. From it, LA could be seen in vivid detail, glass shards, used condoms and all. He looked back to Jesse with an eyebrow raised in question, only to dart his gaze away in embarrassment when he noticed he was being stared at.

"Must you?" Hanzo asked.

"You make it pretty easy."

Usually after a remark like that, Hanzo would have made a condescending comment about frivolous American culture and petty flirtation and pathetic susception to cinematic mediocrity, but this time, the tips of Hanzo's ears actually lit red. Jesse felt a prick of victorious satisfaction.

Hanzo stood.

"I require a shower." he said, and then he was off to the bathroom. Jesse heard the water turn on.

Jesse accidentally read the same paragraph of his book over and over again as he tried not to think about what Hanzo was doing in there.

Hanzo returned from the bathroom a few minutes later, towel wrapped around his waist. His face was set in its usual frown, and he paid Jesse no mind as he traveled to the tiny electric kettle on the countertop. Jesse watched as he grabbed a few complimentary tea bags.

Jesse turned his phone off.

The towel reached from just above Hanzo's ass to halfway down his thighs. His skin was dry, but his hair dripped shiny droplets down the muscles of his back. Whatever snarky comment Jesse had been planning on making was lost forever.

"Would you like some tea?" Hanzo asked.

Jesse snapped back to reality for a second.

"I'm alright." he answered.

Hanzo was silent for the next minute, leaving Jesse in the deepest pool of confusion and arousal he had felt since adolescence. With a click, he realized what was going on. He had done something to shake Hanzo off guard, and now Hanzo was retaliating.

It was working.

"You're fuckin' with me." said Jesse. Hanzo straightened his head, but didn't turn around.

"I am trying to seduce you." Hanzo replied.

"You already did. Now you're just getting off on trying to make me unsure of what to do."

"Is that not half of the satisfaction?"

"Not when I'm the one who's blushin'."

"I will allow you one emotional breakdown tonight. Would you like to have it now?"

Jesse snickered at that. Hanzo's shoulder's trembled, indicating he was stifling his own laugh. The situation seemed a bit more approachable.

So Jesse stood. Hanzo flinched, but didn't turn around as Jesse walked towards him. He flinched again as Jesse slotted himself behind him in a backwards embrace, pressing their bodies together.

Hanzo froze altogether as Jesse laid one hand on his chest, and the other against the thin trail of hair leading down his navel.

"No, please, finish with your tea." Jesse said.

"The water is not..." Hanzo trailed off, shuddering as Jesse pressed his face into the crook of his neck. Jesse grinned, overjoyed to be the confident one again.

Jesse pushed his pelvis the tiniest bit more into Hanzo's ass, just to make absolutely sure that Hanzo could feel the details of him getting hard. He planted a kiss against Hanzo's shoulder before moving his head over to suckle his neck.

Jesse would never have said it out loud, but it kind of got him off that he was taller.

"You smell nice." Jesse said.

"You smell like chlorine."

Jesse ignored the jab, opting instead to roll a metal thumb over Hanzo's nipple while he searched for the spot against Hanzo's neck that had made him sigh the other day. Jesse looked over Hanzo's shoulder to admire the tent in the towel.

"You're mocking me." said Hanzo.

"No, I'm tryin' to seduce you."

"Oh, go to hell."

Jesse slid his right hand under the towel and rubbed his way up Hanzo's thigh. He exhaled, drunk on the knowledge that while even Talon's threats rarely even shook Hanzo out of a stoic frown, he could made Hanzo squirm with just a few slow rubs. He kept his hand away from where he knew Hanzo wanted it most, keen on taking his time, even when Hanzo started to twist for contact.

"Why must you tease me?" Hanzo sighed.

"Could ask you the same question."

"I tease you?"

Jesse thought quickly before answering. He felt himself afraid to confess to any previous attraction, not wanting to come off too strong or risk giving himself away.

"More than I'd like to admit." Jesse finally confessed, mumbling against Hanzo's shoulder.

Jesse slowly moved his hands closer to Hanzo's pelvis, bumping awkwardly against the fabric of the towel that was on the verge of coming untied. He twisted his hand, and the towel fell to the ground for good.

Hanzo groaned, sharp and low, when Jesse got a hand around the front of him. Jesse started slow, just with a lazy hold and the brush of his thumb.

"How?" Hanzo breathed.

"Hmm?"

"How do I tease you?"

' _With your every waking breath._ ' Jesse thought.

"You got a body built to tease, doll." Jesse answered, nice and slow, running his free hand over the dip in Hanzo's waist.

Hanzo snaked a hand through Jesse's hair, pulling Jesse's head down while he arched his own up, and their lips found each other. Jesse had no hesitations giving his tongue. He melted under the sensation of Hanzo's mouth once again, while Hanzo pressed into his hand. A drop of liquid welled at the tip of Hanzo's cock, and Jesse thumbed it over the head.

Jesse had to stifle the urge, really stifle it, to rub himself against the encounter, in fear of turning this into another prom night. Hanzo pulled away for air, and they both panted.

"You wanna continue this conversation somewhere else?" Jesse asked.

"Where did you have in mind?"

"Caught sight of a' bed earlier that looked inviting enough."

Hanzo stepped out of Jesse's pelvis and Jesse got his first real look at Hanzo's butt.

' _qjndljed l;pjnkm;ewdnq;dm._ ' Jesse thought as Hanzo walked towards the bed. Hanzo sat, and Jesse followed.

"I cannot help but notice something." said Hanzo.

"What?"

"You are overdressed."

Jesse stripped off his flannel and undershirt, feeling an unfamiliar smidgen of self-consciousness. He wasn't used to being the one who was less defined. Hanzo still seemed to like it, though, and Jesse felt himself being swallowed in Hanzo's pupils as he stripped his pants off. Hanzo dragged him to the bed by his waistband. Jesse let his boxers get pulled off, and was rewarded with a tiny flick of Hanzo's brow and a whole lot of staring.

"See something you like?" Jesse said after a few long seconds passed.

"I apologize. I'm simply surprised."

"Surprised?"

"You are not cut, either."

"Course not. What'd you think we were, made a' money?"

"Circumcisions are offered freely at the hospital."

"Hospital." Jesse snickered.

Hanzo looked unimpressed.

"I did not buy you flowers." Hanzo said.

Jesse stared.

"What?" he asked.

"I did not buy you flowers."

"For what?"

"For your stand-up routine."

Before Jesse could scoff, Hanzo lied back on the bed, opting for a position that showcased his arousal. Jesse tipped forward, positioning his left arm flat next to Hanzo's head. He caught himself against the hand as he fell, stopping a few inches before their chests hit each other. Hanzo's lips parted, and suddenly, all Jesse could think about again was kissing.

It wasn't the first time in their friendship where all Jesse could think about was kissing, but it was the first time Jesse could press in without any hesitation and have Hanzo's pretty mouth under his own in a heartbeat.

Hanzo threaded a hand through Jesse's hair as Jesse caught his mouth in an exchange held together by lips and tongues and the mutual push of heavy breathes into each other's mouths. Drunk, Jesse teased everything he could; Hanzo's chest, his leaking cock, his darkening lips, and finally, the cleft between his legs.

Hanzo gasped as Jesse pet over the spot. Jesse raised an eyebrow in mild surprise; a part of him had always wondered if maybe Hanzo was too regal for an asshole.

He pulled away for just a moment to lick his fingers before bringing his finger back between Hanzo's legs. He faltered for just a moment, mildly overwhelmed.

"Is something wrong?" Hanzo asked, eyeing Jesse's face.

"Not a thing." Jesse answered, not wanting to get too into his somewhat lacking experience with other men. He hadn't mentioned it yet to Hanzo, and didn't plan on it. Shaking the thoughts from his head, he brought his finger to the knuckle--

"Kuso." Hanzo swore. "Wait. Wait."

"Hmm?"

"I have...forgotten about something."

Hanzo looked mildly embarrassed as he pushed his own fingers between his legs. With a slight wince, he shifted his fingers, and Jesse watched with raw confusion as Hanzo slid a small, white cylinder out of what Jesse had his mind set on fucking.

"What is that?" Jesse asked, eyeing the capsule. It was about the size of a tube of chapstick, and seemed to be made from a strong plastic or metal.

"It is a...container."

Jesse blinked.

"For?" he questioned further.

Hanzo popped open the capsule. He tipped it into his hand, and a single, tiny pill fell out.

"A cyanide pill." Hanzo answered.

"For??"

"If I ever need to avoid an interrogation."

Jesse blinked again. Hanzo put the pill back inside.

"Don't that hurt?" Jesse asked.

"I rarely feel it."

"Do you always got it up there?"

"Yes. Watchpoint could be attacked at any moment."

Jesse rubbed his chin.

"So you had a cyanide pill up your tailpipe that time we were drunk and I cried to you about my dad?" he asked.

"Evidently so." Hanzo answered, unimpressed. "Do you have any further questions?"

Taking Hanzo's words as an invitation, Jesse scratched his chin in thought.

"Yeah, I do." he said. "Don't that seem a little pessimistic?"

"Huh?"

"I mean, why does it just gotta be cyanide? If I was gonna go through all the work to be that paranoid, I'd hide a needle soaked in poison or something up there, too."

Hanzo's mouth twisted in consideration. He gave the tube a little shake. The cyanide pill rattled around, showcasing the generous amount of room still in the capsule.

"I suppose I could expand my arsenal." Hanzo said.

"What if your hands are bound?"

"What?"

"What if your hands are tied when you're abducted? What would you do?"

Hanzo blinked.

"I suppose I would give god another try." he answered.

Jesse watched as Hanzo reached into his discarded clothing and slid the capsule into a pocket.

"So." Hanzo started, and his eyes fluttered half closed. "Would you like to--"

"Don't that require a lotta maintenance?" Jesse asked.

Hanzo sighed.

"Sorry," Jesse said, "I'm just tryin' to..."

He trailed off as a hand wrapped around his erection.

"Jesse?" Hanzo asked.

"Uh."

Hanzo pulled, just the tiniest bit.

"Do you remember when you asked to top, and I offered you a chance to convince me?"

"Yeah."

"This is that chance."

Jesse gulped.

"Did you bring...uh, stuff?" he asked, hoping Hanzo hadn't expected him to be too suave.

"Top drawer." Hanzo replied, pointing to the dresser next to the bed. Jesse shifted over so that he could reach. He had brought his own supplies, just in case, but he'd figured there was a good chance Hanzo would had something, and probably something a little pricier. When the drawer slid open, Jesse discovered he was right at the sight of some fancy Japanese lubricant and a strip of condoms that looked like they wouldn't be caught dead in a convenience store rack. He also grabbed the towel he'd left on the floor earlier, moving it onto the bed.

Jesse spread some of the lube across his right hand. He reached between Hanzo's legs, and Hanzo shifted his own hips to make the process easier.

If Jesse was being completely honest with himself, despite his raging hard-on for the situation, both literally and otherwise, and his affection for Hanzo, there was something a little intimidating and surreal about shoving his finger into another man's asshole. However, the thought of getting to be inside of Hanzo easily countered the mild disgust.

Hanzo winced a little at the first hint of fingers, presumably from either the cold or the strain, but his face quickly eased, and the ring of tight muscle started to soften. Jesse added another finger and pressed his face down to capture Hanzo's lips, given that neither of their mouths were particularly busy. Jesse started it soft, drinking in Hanzo's wince, but once Hanzo began to relax it turned into something wet and biting, full of teeth and tongues and Hanzo's panting.

Jesse was pretty sure he'd found the good spot when Hanzo cried out against his mouth, but he pulled back and slowed his fingers just to make sure.

"You alr--"

" _Yes._ " Hanzo hissed. "Again."

Jesse tried the spot again, and he was meet with an equal reaction.

He eyed the face before him; pretty flush over high cheekbones, fluttering eyelids hiding heavy pupils, lips that came undone with a beautiful little breath every time Jesse brushed passed his prostate, and suddenly, Jesse started to feel like the defensless one.

The seconds ticked by, Hanzo opening up more each one. Jesse was impressed; he seriously doubted he would have been able to relax so much had their roles been flipped.

"Are you just going to stare?" Hanzo asked in a hot breath, and Jesse couldn't tell if he was asking because he was embarrassed or just a constant condescending ass.

"What can I say? This is a good look for you."

"Uncouth."

In response, Jesse stabbed a little harder the next time his fingers hit home. Hanzo made a noise; a loud, shaky tone, and unintentionally bucked his hips.

"What was that?" asked Jesse.

"You seem to be--enjoying yourself more than I." Hanzo answered, momentarily cutting off both himself and his dryness with a sharp noise.

"You sure talk a lot for a man who's got three fingers up his ass."

"Perhaps fingers--are not enough--to shut me up."

Jesse didn't need to be told twice. He removed his fingers and reached for a condom. He ripped it open and was pleased to find that despite the unfamiliar label, it rolled down like any other condom. Maybe a little smoother.

"Any position you're banking on?" Jesse asked.

"Something simple while we are still learning of each other's bodies, please."

Jesse returned to his previous position over Hanzo, and Hanzo spread his legs, letting them fall against Jesse's side. There was a bit of an awkward fumble as they both reached to handle the positioning at the same time. Jesse pulled back, trusting Hanzo to do a better job.

"You know why they call it missionary?" Jesse asked as he let Hanzo's legs hook over his thighs. He leaned forward onto his arms until their bodies were almost parallel, keeping his face half a foot away from Hanzo's.

"Does it have any relation to Christianity?"

"Well, yeah."

"Then I would prefer to stay ignorant."

"Suit yourself."

Hanzo winced as Jesse sunk into him. Jesse sighed in pleasure as everything became softer around the edges. He felt Hanzo's feet brushed just under his butt.

"Am I hurting you?" Jesse asked, struggling hard to keep his breath steady.

"I can handle it."

It was a tight fit, but purely workable. Hanzo made a face and Jesse mentally willed his hips into stillness before they could get any ideas.

"You tell me when I can start moving, ok sweetheart?"

Hanzo nodded. A moment passed, and Jesse felt him struggle to relax.

"I must ask," Hanzo started, his gaze darting to and from Jesse's face, "there are no strange American rituals during intercourse, are there?"

"Not that I know of. 'Less you count crying."

Hanzo let out a chuckle that was so much like one he would have made at the range that Jesse felt a sudden sense of endearment. Hanzo's shoulders shook as he laughed, which felt strange for Jesse's dick.

"Alright." Hanzo said. "Move."

Jesse felt his hips press forwards immediately, almost against his own volition. He had to physically grab his own abdomen with one hand to keep from getting too ahead of himself. After a short moment passed, he pushed forward again, more controlled, and squeezed his eyes shut, already overwhelmed.

"You act as though I will shatter." Hanzo said.

"Let a man collect himself."

Jesse gave a few more slow thrusts, each one deeper than the last, none of which were met with any resistance. On his upper thighs, he felt Hanzo's feet lock, urging him on. Tipping his face forward into Hanzo's shoulder, Jesse pressed a quick kiss against Hanzo's cheek before turning his hips into a dirty, full rhythm.

"Oh." Jesse breathed.

"Oh." Hanzo agreed.

Jesse breathed hard. He didn't even know if he could speak, there was too much to focus on; the way Hanzo's inner walls gripped him, the little breathy noises he was making, how Hanzo's hands stroked up and down his spine. Jesse squeezed his eyes shut and struggled to collect his thoughts into something that resembled a consciousness.

"You comfy?" he managed, nuzzling against Hanzo's neck.

He felt Hanzo nod. Jesse let his free fingers find their ways into Hanzo's hair.

Jesse brought himself from Hanzo's shoulders, suddenly needing to make sure that it was actually Hanzo Shimada on his cock. He was met by affirmation so intense that he was forced to squeeze his eyes shut again. He then opened them, once again needing to make sure it was Hanzo; Hanzo his coworker, best friend, and object of sexual and romantic fantasies, though the romance, he pushed down. He then closed his eyes again. The cycle continued until Hanzo spoke.

"You are...skilled." Hanzo breathed.

"You feel so good, Hanz. So good." Jesse babbled. He felt unsatisfied with his statement, momentarily wishing there was still some blood left in his brain so that he could be a little more poetic.

A little sigh escaped Hanzo's mouth with the rest of his breath. His legs tightened against Jesse's sides, pulling him closer. Hanzo moved with enthusiasm against Jesse's hips. Their eyes locked for a quick second before Hanzo's slipped closed with a shaky breath as Jesse angled himself to best hit the spot that'd had Hanzo blissed out on his fingers.

They paused for just the tiniest moment for Hanzo to find a more comfortable angle. When they resumed, Jesse gasped as Hanzo started to bottom out. With the hand in Hanzo's hair, Jesse pulled him into a biting kiss. It was more teeth and tongue than lips, but Jesse wasn't complaining. On his next few thrusts he tested some slightly varying angles, searching for the good spot. He knew he'd found it when Hanzo moaned loud, straight into his mouth. The feeling of Hanzo's abdomen against his own as they rocked together neared surreal.

"Speak to me." Hanzo ordered. Jesse desperately racked his mind for some scrap of wit.

"I've called you--a tight ass before, but--now it's got double the meanin'."

"Hmm?"

"Damn, you hug me good."

"Tell me more."

"Hey, thought you said-- _oh_ \--this ain't about strokin' egos."

"No, I said it wasn't about stroking--your ego. I, however, would be appalled if-- _hah_ \--if you did not stroke mine."

Even though Hanzo's words were dry, the articulation was absolutely shot with breathy tones and sharp little sighs. Jesse quickly realized that was part of the appeal.

"Ok, I got a-- _Jesus_ \--I got a question." Jesse asked.

"What?"

"This is real good."

"Not a question, Jesse."

Unable to support himself anymore, Jesse leaned back into Hanzo's left shoulder. Hanzo tossed his head to the side to make it easier for Jesse to suck. Remembering Hanzo's request, Jesse did his best not to leave a mark, but it was hard not to forget, especially with the way a scrape of his teeth made Hanzo sing.

He pulled up to take a breath and catch a glimpse of Hanzo's eyes.

Jesse wasn't sure why this was the moment that the shock set in, but suddenly, everything felt far too unbelievable to be real. He couldn't believe Hanzo's parted lips, half-lidded eyes, and flushed cheekbones all because of Jesse, the little pieces of dark hair that fluttered over his eyes, and when Jesse straightened his arms and inched himself up enough so that he could look down to where their bodies interlocked, he couldn't believe what he was seeing.

"Jesse?" Hanzo asked. Jesse heard the question, and knew that Hanzo was the one who'd asked it, but it sounded strange. As if he was hearing it underwater.

"Huh." Jesse breathed.

"Are you alright?"

Jesse shook himself from his shock as best he could.

"I'm close." he answered. It wasn't a lie.

"Oh. How close?"

"A minute?"

Hanzo nodded and wrapped a hand around himself, pumping leisurely, eyes heavier than Jesse had ever seen them, fluttering up to meet Jesse's gaze as his mouth came fully undone with pleasure. Jesse made a slight adjustment and straightened his upper body, his elbows over Hanzo's knees, giving Hanzo more room.

There was nothing quite like sexed-up eye contact.

" _Right there_." Hanzo pleaded, and Jesse granted him.

Jesse could feel their collective composure diminishing. The pink dustings over Hanzo's cheekbones and chest were deepening, and his lips came further undone to support the louder sounds he was making. Unable to help himself, Jesse grabbed Hanzo by the back of the neck and caught his lips again, sloppy and quick but immensely satisfying nonetheless, drinking in Hanzo's breath as he neared his point. He might have never pulled away, had he not needed to breathe, and to catch another eyeful of Hanzo.

"I wanted your lust." Hanzo cried, eyes squeezed shut as he worked himself harder in his palm.

"Huh?"

"I have wanted your lust--since even before I asked."

Jesse felt like his whole body was blushing. His rhythm faltered, just the tiniest bit, and when he recovered it, he added a touch more depth. He'd known it was going to be good, fantastic even, but he'd never dreamed of a confession like that.

"I'm guessin' you're--already wiser to this, but you've-- _ah_ \--had it for a while, baby doll." Jesse replied, because apparently they were just going all the way with this.

"Tell me."

And there was that fear again. Jesse gulped.

"Uh." he replied. He did his best to keep his sudden panic from showing his face, but unfortunately, he felt his eyes give him away.

"Jesse." Hanzo said, voice flat. The hand pumping his cock slowed.

"Yes?"

"Is there a particular reason you are halting?"

Jesse looked down to realize that he'd cut the speed and intensity of his rhythm in half, and that the path to his orgasm had come to a plateau.

"Uh." he repeated.

Hanzo put both hands on Jesse's hips to stop their already faltering movement completely, but he kept their bodies interlocked.

"Are you afraid to tell me?" Hanzo asked, face somewhere between mildly irritated and genuinely interested.

Jesse nodded. Hanzo looked Jesse in the eye as he brought his open hand up and turned it in a circle in a clear gesture of _'out with it'._

"What troubles you?"

"Don't wanna scare you." Jesse murmured. He felt bad that he was slowing things down again with his nerves, but he'd get over it.

"You are still thinking too much. Look, Jesse," Hanzo followed, voice low and lacking some of it's usual roughness.

"What?

"We are friends, we get along well enough, we are both somewhat...under-stimulated. We are also both very attractive."

Jesse gulped.

"It is not surprising to me that you lusted for me. I will not grow suspicious that you have any ultimatums if you admit to this." Hanzo said. "In fact I would vastly prefer you did."

"Oh?"

"Admit, I mean. Jesse, we are proud men. The only times in our pathetic lives we are granted true vulnerability of our sexual thoughts and completely uncensored opinions on the state of the government is during the last half-minute of intercourse or after ingesting lethal amounts of alcohol."

Hanzo squirmed in underestimation while Jesse stared.

"I'll--uh--keep that in mind." Jesse replied.

"Thank you. Now please, I beg you, fuck me."

Jesse resumed his speed, reaching full force will the roll of his hips quickly and was rewarded with Hanzo's mouth coming untied with a little sound. Jesse stared down at Hanzo's perfect torso as he started to work himself with his hand again, distracted by the rise and fall as Hanzo started to breath like he'd just finished a sprint.

It took less than a minute to get back to where they'd left off.

"You're, um, a sexy thing, you know that?" Jesse started, flickering his gaze up everything he could.

"Tell me." Hanzo groaned, and it was at that moment Jesse realized that his voice turned Hanzo on.

Despite the fact that they'd talked about it, the fear was still there, considering he'd left out the part where he did have an ultimatum.

But what the hell, Jesse thought.

"You--you drive me crazy." he managed.

"Do I?"

"Lookin' like you you do? Couldn't help but--wonder what you'd look like--getting fucked."

Hanzo's eyes squeezed shut as he moaned loud enough to make Jesse's legs quiver.

"You thought about this?" Hanzo asked, and for a moment, Jesse couldn't answer, too distracted by the way Hanzo's hips were rolling to meet his and the tiny noises he was making under his breath to the rhythm Jesse was fucking him to.

" _Nngh_ \--Couldn't stop."

Hanzo's back arched as he dug his free fingers into Jesse's right side. He turned his head back, the flush from his cheeks falling down into the tops of his shoulders. The strain of his arm had the muscles in his torso slightly flexed.

"Wanted you in me." Hanzo murmered.

"Thought about me?"

"Hard-- _ah_ \--not too, Mr--Mr. Tight Pants."

Despite everything, Jesse couldn't help but grin as he felt himself starting to teeter over his peak. He forced himself to hold out, wanting to give Hanzo his money's worth.

It was untimely, but Jesse couldn't help but notice the intimacy of the situation. He'd never quite realized before just how intimate sex was, interacting in mutual ecstasy, part of him literally inside of Hanzo.

"Angle ok?" Jesse asked, out of his mind with the knowledge that he was about to get to watch Hanzo have an orgasm.

" _Ah!"_ Hanzo answered, which Jesse took as a yes.

The mattress shifted as Hanzo arched his back further. He reached his free hand up to cover his face, to Jesse's deep dismay. Jesse might have done something to stop him, had he had an extra hand. Still, the noise Hanzo made, a long, shaky tone, and the way his body spasmed with pleasure was going to stay with Jesse for a while. Hanzo rutted into his hand once more before streaking himself with white.

"You're so goddamn _beautiful_." Jesse groaned, tipping their bodies back together, not caring about what was smeared on Hanzo's chest.

He pressed his face into the crook of Hanzo neck as he came hard enough to forget what country he lived in, calling out a three part cry. He jerked his hips forward into a deep, long press, overcome with an ancient, instinctual desire to bury himself as deeply as he could into Hanzo. To his utter delight, Hanzo stroked his hair as he spilled.

They fell against each other and the bed, satisfied.

Jesse couldn't tell who was panting harder. It took Jesse a while to muster up the will to speak, too hopped up on a cocktail of endorphins and pleasant shock towards what they'd just done.

"You alright?" Jesse asked.

Hanzo nodded. He was slack as Jesse slid out of him. After turning on his side to toss the latex in the little trashcan by the bed and grab the towel, Jesse found himself staring in awe at Hanzo's face; more openly satisfied than Jesse had ever seen it.

Jesse struggled with what to say. It wasn't the first sexual situation they'd been in, but he still felt uncertain.

"So," Jesse started, "do I give you money now, or...?"

Hanzo burst out laughing and Jesse grinned in extra satisfaction. When they both came down, they were still breathing hard.

"That was fun." Jesse declared, flopping down on his back next to Hanzo.

"I suppose it was passable." Hanzo replied, the words smooth with laziness. "I will say that you exceeded my expectations."

"Ah, you're a piece a' work. Christ, I ain't came like that since...well, I don't know."

"You flatter me."

The conversation lulled for a few longs seconds as they both caught up to their breath. A few times, Jesse found himself needing to be reminded to breath, forcing himself to remember that a lack of oxygen didn't lead to good things.

"I gotta question." Jesse said.

"Hmm?"

"If you wanted to screw me, and you knew I wanted to screw you, why didn't you just say something? We could a' had something casual, without the excuse of health."

"I was frightened by the risk." Hanzo answered, and Jesse grew pleasantly warm with the knowledge that his friendship was considered important enough to fear risking.

"You worried about me gettin' too attached?" Jesse asked.

"No, I have seen the way you fear commitment."

Hanzo had it all wrong. Jesse McCree was monogamy's number one fan, specifically when Hanzo Shimada was involved. But he faked a laugh anyway.

"It was more so, " Hanzo continued, "I feared how I would handle the physical intimacy."

Jesse could tell that it had taken a lot out of Hanzo to say that, even if Hanzo wasn't giving off any obvious physical queues about it.

"So it took Angela nagging you to get laid to finally ask?" he asked, figuring Hanzo didn't want to dwell.

"She made a very persuasive argument."

Jesse smiled, trying to imagine it.

"And," Hanzo followed, suddenly serious again, "my aim had faltered."

Jesse was silent. If he was interpreting the situation correctly, Hanzo had just told him, intentionally or not, that the state of his loneliness and sexual frustration weren't what had driven him to ask for Jesse's help, but how they had negatively affected an element of his pride. He wasn't sure what that said about Hanzo.

"Now that this is out of the way, I have a proposition for you." said Hanzo.

"Huh?"

"I found our previous two encounters to be sufficient enough. Would you like to make this an official agreement?"

"' _Sufficient enough'_ , the man says."

Hanzo scoffed. Jesse grinned.

"I trust you not to shove a knife in my back, you are nice to look at, and your body is skilled. Is that not enough?" Hanzo asked.

"Reckon you ain't never said something so sweet."

"Consider it your payment."

"Trust me, honey, I've been paid."

There was another mutual snicker.

"Then as long as I am being kind, I will admit that you have earned three fourths." Hanzo said. "If you still want it."

"What?"

"In regards to our positioning."

"Oh yeah. Much obliged."

There was a pause as Hanzo arched his back and stretched his arms above his head. He still looked like he was thinking about something, but Jesse didn't ask what. Feeling generous, Jesse handed him the towel.

"Could you do something for me?" Hanzo asked as he wiped his chest and stomach down.

"What?"

"I would prefer to keep this a secret, if you understand what I--"

"Lips are sealed."

"--furthermore, I would like it if you..."

Hanzo trailed off. He almost looked embarrassed.

"...only discussed this dynamic with me in person. Not over text." he finished.

Jesse raised an eyebrow.

"This another one a' them paranoid things where you're afraid of cell phones and overly complicated sewing machines?"

"Yes."

Jesse thought for a moment, but he still didn't understand.

"I gotta question." Jesse said. "Bout all your weirdness.

"Alright."

"Let's say you're right." he started. "To be paranoid. What are you afraid of happening?"

Hanzo sighed.

"We are soldiers. I don't fair well with the idea of a written log of anything that I fear could be used to emotionally compromise or extort me. I understand that I seem--"

"Nah, whatever." Jesse replied, bored.

Hanzo finished with the towel and tossed it vaguely in the direction of the bathroom. He turned his head so that they could look at each other. Jesse stared at Hanzo's pretty face, happy to have an excuse to, and noticed a strange dark smudge around Hanzo's left eye.

Hanzo raised an eyebrow as he noticed Jesse staring.

"You got something, right here." Jesse said pointing.

"Oh. Thank you." Hanzo replied, wiping his eye down with his hand.

"What is that?"

"Smeared eyeliner."

"You wear makeup?"

"I always wear eyeliner. How have you failed to notice this?"

Jesse was confused while Hanzo seemed confused that he was confused. Hanzo wiped his eyes down before looking at Jesse again, streaking tiny lines of black against his hands.

"You see?" Hanzo asked.

"See what?"

"The difference."

Jesse squinted.

"No." he answered. Hanzo shook his head dismissively.

"Why do you wear that stuff, anyway?" Jesse followed.

"Because it is objectively more attractive to than not." Hanzo replied. "At least, as close to objective as anything can get." 

"I mean, maybe if you're into that kind of stuff."

"They've done tests, Jesse. Across the globe, people have been observed to have more visual arousal to those colorization under the eye, regardless of the demographics of either party."   

"Why do you know that?"

"How else was I supposed to get others to sleep with me besides perfecting my physical appearance? You were correct. My personality is atrocious."

Slumped over, Hanzo took another draw of the cigarette.

"I wouldn't mind you being less attractive." Jesse stated.

"What?"

"Think I'd prefer it."

"...Why?"

"Look, Hanzo, you're about enough to make me a rock three times over. All I do with the extra is feel bad about myself cause I compare myself to you."

"Jesse, everyone who compares themselves to me will feel that way."

"Huh."

Jesse wasn't sure how Hanzo's words managed to make him feel better, in a twisted sort of way, but they did. Hanzo pressed their heads together.

They fell silent. Jesse pushed past his uncertainty to enjoy the sense of bliss. Feeling sentimental, he flopped his head down onto Hanzo's chest and closed his eyes. It was a simply gesture, far from real cuddling, as he wasn't sure how appropriate that would have been given the nature of their agreement.

Still, he couldn't help but turn to the side and throw a lazy arm over Hanzo. He hoped that Hanzo wouldn't take it as anything more than full indulgence in the post-orgasm state.

Hanzo didn't resist, and Jesse took that as a win. He yawned, and opened his mouth to ask Hanzo if he wanted to shower or watch something before they went to bed, but something interrupted him before any words came out.

There was a sort of...shaking. For half a second, Jesse thought it was an earthquake. But after evaluating the situation, he realized that it was Hanzo. And there was a sound, too. Of hyper-quick breath.

"Whoa." Jesse said, startled, rising quickly from Hanzo's torso. He found Hanzo a sudden, quivering mess, his face twisted out of view, and new sweat dotting along the back that he turned towards Jesse. He was hyperventilating, but what had caused it, Jesse had no idea.

Biting back his confusion for later, Jesse reached for where he knew Hanzo's mouth was and covered it, and his nose, almost completely. There were no paper bags in their room that he knew of, so this would have to do. He didn't know if the mild asphyxiation was necessary, but it wasn't a risk he was willing to take to find out.

"It's gonna be alright, Hanz." Jesse stated, in a tone significantly more collected than he felt. "I don't know what's got you like this, but I promise you it ain't gonna kill you. I'm not gonna let anything hurt you, alright?"

Hanzo said nothing. Jesse knew it was some form of a panic attack. He had never seen Hanzo have one before, and had no idea if this was a common thing for him, or the first one in his life.

"I can guess you ain't able to say much right now, but when you can, tell me what I can do for you." Jesse followed.

Jesse kept him hand over Hanzo's mouth. Eventually, Hanzo's breath started to regulate, and Jesse muttered a few more phrases that he hoped would be reassuring. Finally, Jesse removed his hand.

"I am..." Hanzo started, the words trembling along with his shoulders, "sorry."

"Nothin' to be sorry for."

"I am."

"How can I help you?"

"Cover me."

Jesse pulled the thin sheet over Hanzo. Hanzo was still shaking, but at least he could speak. Jesse longed to reach out and stroke his hair, but concitering the fact that affectionate touching had been the last thing Jesse had done before Hanzo had gotten all weird.

Hanzo's face was still turned out of view, and Jesse knew Hanzo well enough to tell that he was most likely very guilty, from both the situation and just a general state of being.

"Can I ask what set you off, sweetheart?" Jesse asked, struggling to make his tone sympathetic without overdoing it.

Hanzo sighed. He twisted the sheet farther around himself.

"It is shameful." he answered.

"You think damn near everythin' is shameful. Tell me what set you off. Or don't. But don't let it burn you up for my sake."

Hanzo paused for another moment.

"When you...embraced me..." he stumbled, "I have not-- _hah--_ been touched in such a way for a while. I apologize for my--overreaction."

Jesse's heart sunk as he remembered how Hanzo had spent the last decade of his life. He didn't know all the details, but Jesse suspected there were points when he went years at a time without touching another person. Jesse was surprised the sex hadn't set him off, although he supposed the context was different.

"No, I'm sorry. I should a' asked."

"I likely would have allowed you. This was as much of a surprise for me as you."

"So this don't usually happen?" Jesse asked. "The panic?"

"Not from--Well, you were not--supposed to see."

A minute passed and Hanzo slowly stopped shaking, his breath returning to a steady push and pull. Jesse let out a quiet sigh of relief. But even when Hanzo'd completely come down, he kept his face out of view.

"I am truly sorry." Hanzo started. "I--"

"You don't need to be."

"Yes, I do. I cannot believe I let my will falter enough to do something like that in front of--of--"

Hanzo started to shake again, more violently than before. His breath returned to ragged. His jaw clenched, but Jesse still heard the apology.

"Are you...having a panic attack about havin' had a panic attack in front of me?" Jesse asked.

"...Yes."

"You wanna talk about why? Or do you want to wait? I'm good either way."

"Why--d--do you think?"

Even through his heavy breath, Hanzo's words bit hard. Jesse took them to heart anyway, though.

"You're worried about me walkin' out on you?" Jesse asked.

"A very pathetic, self-serving part of me is." Hanzo huffed. "The more rational--parts of me hope you do."

Jesse almost choked on his own spit.

"I ain't gonna judge you for this." he replied. "You think you're the first one of us to have--"

"The fact that you don't find my lack of composure--unexceptionably unprofessional--simply lowers my opinion of your judgement. I a--pologize if that sounds cruel. But it's a truthful assessment."

"Hang on. Unexceptionably unprofessional?"

It took Hanzo a while to answer. Even with his eyes turned away to find his water glass, Jesse could feel Hanzo's minor convulsions in the mattress. He wondered, for a moment, how often this happened to Hanzo alone, how many attacks Hanzo had forced his way through without any semblance of help from another human being.

"Because my profession requires me to be prepared for the worst at any moment." Hanzo said. "If something so trite as you touching me set me off, who's to say what will in the future? What if we were to be attacked, right now, with me unable to move?"

Jesse couldn't help but chuckle a bit.

"What?" Hanzo snapped.

"I think it's a choice."

"What is?"

"Panicking. Look, I don't know much about the mind, but I think that deep down in a man, panic's a choice. Think it might a hard choice to turn down, sometimes, but I'm sure that if we were attacked right now, you'd snap out of it like that--"

Jesse snapped his fingers.

"--and do whatever you needed to save both our asses."

He couldn't tell from this angle, but Jesse suspected Hanzo's silence was a sign he was genuinely considering what he was saying.

"But," Jesse continued, "until that happens, I reckon you deserve a little time to panic."

Hanzo was silent for a another moment before speaking, save the struggle in his throat against his breath.

"I suppose that makes...rational sense." Hanzo said, and to Jesse's relief, his shaking started to falter again. It didn't completely halt, but Hanzo looked a little better. Jesse stayed by his side until Hanzo's breathing slowed to a normal pace, eyes fixated on the parts of Hanzo's tattoo that he could see through the thin, white sweat-soaked sheet.

"Let me tell you this. If every agent I've ever seen get an old fashion terror fit was incompetent, Overwatch won't have a chance." Jesse replied. "You ain't the only one."

Hanzo was silent. Jesse spend a good chunk of a minute just listening to the rise and fall

"Gimme a minute, I need to grab something." Jesse said, stepping up from the bed to grab a new sheet.

When he returned, Hanzo was almost completely still, and the tense ball he had been curled in had loosened. Jesse peeled the old sheet off of him and laid the new one over him before joining Hanzo in bed, at least until they were done talking.

"I'm suspicious that it will be wasted on you, but I am sorry for disservicing you." Hanzo said.

"Shut the fuck up."

Hanzo let out a lofty, empty little chuckle, but a laugh nonetheless. Jesse sighed as he rolled over onto his back, wanting to get comfortable.

"This will happen again." Hanzo said, quieter, after a moment passed. "The panic."

"Alright."

"Is it?"

Jesse didn't personally understand Hanzo's shame around this, but he did his best to respect it.

"Yeah, 'course. Anything in particular that sets you off?"

"Not exactly. From an outsider’s perspective, my...would seem quite random. Truthfully, they are simply initiated by my own thoughts reaching certain points in their natural movements. So the answer would be yes, certain things in particular, but not to a manageable degree."

"What kinda points?"

The bed shifted as Hanzo rolled onto his back to mirror Jesse. Jesse could hear Hanzo take in a few breaths, like the start of a statement, only to drop them.

"What I did to him." he answered.

Jesse did not have to ask who 'him' was, nor was he the least bit surprised to hear Hanzo mention it.

"And nuclear war." Hanzo added. "And on occasion, robot overlord."

It took a lot for Jesse not to roll his eyes, but he managed. Despite how rational Hanzo had over and over again proven himself to be, he possessed some strange fears, often ones that had Jesse afraid to let him in a room with Echo.

"Hey uh..." Jesse rambled, changing the subject, "Far as..uh, cuddling goes, how do you feel 'bout it as a...concept?"

"Theoretically, I am not opposed. I take it you are not either?"

"I think sex without cuddling is a little sad. But don't that--"

"No, I understand."

Jesse stretched his arms above his head until he felt a satisfying crack as he considered where to move the conversation next. He decided that Hanzo might fare well from a distraction.

"You wanna watch the Godfather?" Jesse asked.

Hanzo twisted his mouth in thought.

"That is a three hour movie."

"That's fine."

Hanzo stayed in bed as Jesse set up the movie. When Jesse crawled back into bed, he propped himself against the head of the bed frame in a sitting position, in an open invitation for Hanzo to come to him but without any sense of demand.

It was a rather slow process, but rewarding nonetheless. An hour in, their shoulders touched. Two hours in, Hanzo tucked himself loosely into Jesse's chest.

"What?" Hanzo asked, turning his head to look at Jesse. "Why do you smile like that?"

"Just...kinda feels like I saw you naked twice tonight."

Jesse was clubbed in the head with a pillow.

 

~~~~

 

Two hours after they went to bed, Hanzo shook the other queen, the one Jesse had ended up crashing on, waking Jesse up for the entire day.

"Are you prepared to take on Talon?" Hanzo asked.

"No." Jesse groaned, pulling the blankets over his head.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey super weird quick thing but at the risk of seeming conceded, I want to say that this was not written to be skimmed. It's also written to be binged, to be read in just a few sittings, and to be read multiple times (the only reason I'm releasing one chapter a week instead of waiting till it's done and releasing it all is because I realized I can get eight times the views this way, that probably makes me a bad person). In fact, I think it might be set up in a way that if you skim it, a lot of parts of later chapters might not make sense. To be fair, this is probably my fault, and to be fairer, I have no idea if I was successful in what I was trying to do. Would I would like to say though, is that if you respect me as a writer for some reason and liked this piece, consider giving it another go when it's all up.


	4. Ramis

The next week and a half was a blur. Jesse saw Hanzo four times within the ten day period, which was pretty standard, and for the most part, they went along with their typical plans of aiming competitions at the range and discussions over cups of coffee that made Jesse's head spin. But now, there was an extra hour tacked onto the end of their outings to honor their...mutual servitude.

Since the motel room, Jesse'd gotten Hanzo once on the couch in his room and once over Hanzo's kitchen table, as well as another blow job on Hanzo's floor. He'd gotten to snuggle Hanzo afterwards, too, although they were both cautious about it.

Jesse had no idea where this was going, but he did his best not to think about it.

In the present moment, Jesse sat at the snack table in the breakroom. The room was mostly empty, save for Lucio hammering away on a drum kit he had set up in the corner that Morrison hadn't made him move yet for some reason.

Hanzo walked through the door. Jesse looked up from his book and waved. Hanzo came towards the couch, giving a little dismissive scoff at Lucio's enormous set of headphones.

"Morning." Jesse greeted.

"What are you reading?" Hanzo asked, eyeing the graphic novel in Jesse's hands with suspicion.

"Your brother lent me one of his titty mags." Jesse answered, turning to another page of chest-heavy Japanese schoolgirls. "Kinda disturbing, if I'm being honest."

Hanzo grabbed the book from Jesse and read the cover. He handed it back with a scoff.

"Could I have you believe you are not reading erotica, but a graphic novel set to explore the sociological implication of imperialism, aimed at adolescents?"

"It would explain why it's so damn political."

Lucio smacked the tom drum on his kit twice and followed it with a cymbal crash. Jesse looked over to see if it had been deliberately timed, but Lucio didn't look like he could hear anything.

"Are you aware that you're reading it backwards?" Hanzo asked, sitting down at the chair just right of Jesse.

"You say tomato..."

"I don't know what that means."

Whatever scathing line Jesse was about to utter was interrupted by Ana, Mei, and Hana all filtering into the breakroom at once. Jesse did a little double take when he noticed that they were all wearing their bras outside their shirts.

"Like the new look." Jesse said to Ana.

"It's a statement." she replied.

"'Bout women's rights?"

"Or whatever."

To his right, Jesse could feel Hanzo sigh. Hanzo didn't tend to fare well in social scenarios, usually coming off as brash and overly formal. To his luck, they all made their way to the couch, ignoring the table.

"Do you have anything to drink?" Hanzo asked.

Jesse handed Hanzo a soda.

"Far from what I meant." Hanzo said, but he cracked open the can, nonetheless.

" _Nano Cola, enjoy!_ "

"Kitchiku!" Hanzo shouted in surprise, chucking the can as far away from himself as possible. It fell in the sink with a clunk. Hana looked over, confused.

Lena, Genji, and Fareeha filtered in next. Hanzo eyed the traffic with confusion.

"How many people are attending this mission?" Hanzo asked Jesse. "This is everyone who's currently on base."

Before Jesse could answer, Hana stood up on the couch like a soap box. The chatter around the room died down. On her left, Genji tossed a few bags of popcorn aflutter.

"Is everyone ready for Sunday Morning Sitcom Night?" Hana asked, pumping her arms with excitement.

Jesse felt eyes boring into him. He meet Hanzo's gaze with ease, refusing to bow down to the bite.

"You said we were here for a mission debriefing." Hanzo whispered, gritting his teeth.

"I did say that."

"I'm going to go."

Jesse let Hanzo get half way off his ass before speaking.

"If you stay I'll stop putting my feet up on the couch." he said.

Jesse had been putting his feet up on Hanzo's couch for the past year. It wasn't so much that he was lazy, more he knew he could use it as leverage some day.

Hanzo faltered. He was like a frozen statue, half sitting and half standing, for a solid two seconds before coming back down in his seat. He still looked miffed, but Jesse could live with that.

"We're gonna watch the new Big Bang Theory reboot over here, if anyone's interested." Lena yelled over her shoulder from the couch. Jesse nudged Hanzo forward.

"And I will be describing the events of my last gynecological exam at the coffee maker, if anyone wants to listen." Ana said, filling a cup with hot water.

Jesse watched as Hanzo turned his head twice between the couch goers and Ana. Jesse groaned as Hanzo took off for Ana.

From his spot on the couch, Genji looked over his shoulder. Even though his visor covered his mouth, Jesse could tell that he was disappointed. Jesse groaned again, cursing god for making him have to be the adult. Getting to his feet, Jesse made his way over to Ana and Hanzo.

"...feet in the stirrups." Ana said, mixing instant coffee into her cup.

"Alright." Hanzo replied.

"And then she gets out the dilator. It's this long metal tool that opens up. It's very cold."

"Continue."

"So then she sticks her face three inches away from my--"

"Howdy, pardners." Jesse cut in with the fakest smile he could muster, throwing an arm over each of their shoulders. "Can I interest you two in ending this conversation?"

"No." Ana said.

Jesse ignored her. He turned to Hanzo.

"Hanz, you can't--you're telling 'em that you'd rather listen to Ana talk about her axe wound than spend time with them." Jesse said.

"I would rather. If I am going to waste my time not being productive with television, I refuse to consume something lacking in anything besides face value and tastelessly mediocre substance, so much so that I cannot tell if it's specifically tailored to make people stupider, or simply to profit off of the damage that was already done."

"Oh, quit being a snob. We kill people. No one wants to watch something that's gonna make them think."

"I have not killed anyone in six days."

Hanzo punctuated his reply by crossing his arms in a gesture so childish that Jesse wondered how anyone so smart could be so stupid. Jesse racked his brain for something persuasive.

Ana sipped her coffee.

"Why have you even seen the Big Bang Theory, anyway?" Jesse asked.

"I was forced to watch several episodes when I was learning English. I would not like to repeat the process."

"Look, it's not about what they're watching. Hell, they don't even pay attention half the time."

"Then what is it about?"

"It's about bonding with your coworkers."

"I have no interest in bonding with my coworkers." Hanzo replied.

Jesse stared at Hanzo's expecting face for a few moments. He'd known Hanzo for a long time, and had long since realized that Hanzo would respond best to rational reasoning. However, Jesse couldn't think of a rational reason for Hanzo to come watch bad TV with people he didn't really like without going on a long-winded, psychologically tinted path that brought up the emotional horrors of Hanzo's relationship with Genji, so he scrapped the plan.

Ana sipped her coffee.

"Look, Hanzo." Jesse started, feeling himself frown. "Could you just do this? For me?"

Hanzo groaned quietly.

Despite Hanzo's immaturity, Jesse knew he was asking a lot, especially considering the fact that everyone in Overwatch adored Genji and half of the couch still gave Hanzo the cold shoulder. Hanzo's face turned to stone in stoic thought. Jesse counted seven long seconds before he let out a long, weary sigh.

"Fine." he breathed out, but to Jesse's surprise, he didn't look too resentful.

"Thank you."

"Ōkina me." Hanzo grumbled low, taking off for the couch. Jesse felt a note of satisfaction.

"Trouble in paradise?" Ana asked, sipping her coffee.

"Why are you helping him?"

"I don't want to watch the Big Bang Theory."

"Fair enough. Join us anyway."

Jesse followed Hanzo. There was an open spot on the couch, but Hanzo pulled a chair over and opted instead to sit in it.

Lena looked over, and Jesse felt a twinge of irritation as she gave Hanzo a tiny glare. To Jesse's relief, Hanzo ignored it, as per usual. Jesse sat on the floor between Hanzo and the couch, just in case.

"Hello, McCree!" Mei greeted. "And, um, hi, Hanzo. I didn't know you liked this show."

"Yes." Hanzo answered. "My favorite character is Howard the Sex Offender-- _ow!"_

Jesse removed his left fist from Hanzo's toes.

"Yeah, Hanzo and me watch this show all the time." Jesse said, ignoring the laser glare he got from Hanzo.

"Agent McCree finds it a sufficient cure for his impotence." Hanzo shot back.

Fareeha and Mei both turned their heads towards Hanzo with dual faces of animated confusion.

"What?" Hanzo asked.

Jesse felt a hand on his right shoulder and looked up to see Ana. Absentmindedly, he placed his metal hand on top of hers.

"I meant to ask." Lena said, darting her gaze between Ana and Mei. "What's with the boulder holders, loves?"

"Mei said the wire rim on her bra was digging into her skin so she started wearing it outside her shirt." Hana said. "And then we all started doing it."

"I wasn't trying to start a fashion trend." Mei replied, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Alright, I gotta know." Jesse said. "Is that comfortable? Cause it don't look-- _oh_ _Christ_ \-- _Lena--"_

Jesse cut himself off, putting his hand up to block the view of Lena's chest as she started to pull the clothing off her torso.

"Hmm?" Lena asked, eyeing Jesse's expression with confusion as she slipped her shirt back on.

"Sorry, nothing." Jesse replied, removing his hand from his face. He could feel Ana laughing at him as she sidestepped over to take a seat on the couch.

"Does anyone have any gossip?" Hana asked, and Jesse felt heard Hanzo breath a tiny sigh of relief as she turned the volume down on the TV.

"We're getting new communicators in a few months." Ana replied. "They go straight into your head and you can send thoughts--"

"Boooring." Hana said. "Does anyone have any good gossip?"

"Wait, what?" asked Hanzo. "What goes in our heads?"

"I do! I have gossip!" Genji said, clapping his hands with a clank. "I am pleased to announce that my old mentor and good friend Tekhartha Zenyatta is coming to visit next July."

There was a little ' _oooh'._ Jesse felt the air shift as Hanzo stiffened at Zenyatta's name, just the tiniest bit.

"None of this is gossip. This is just news." Hana mumbled.

"Will we get to meet him?" Fareeha asked.

"If you want. He's hosting a few meditation sessions. You can probably catch him afterwards."

"Dude, that's so sweet." Lucio said. "I've been wanting to meet robot Gandhi since I was six!"

"Shut up, Lucio. You just want to see if he'll fall for updog." Hana replied.

Jesse looked up as his left foot was nudged to see that Hanzo was giving him a little side eye. Hanzo leaned over into close range.

" _How do I talk to these people?"_ Hanzo whispered.

" _Be yourself."_ Jesse mouthed.

Hanzo opened his mouth.

" _Don't be mean!"_ Jesse followed in a hoarse whisper.

Hanzo closed his mouth.

"Does Zenyatta have a job?" Hana asked.

"He's a freedom fighter." Lucio answered. "Just like yours truly."

"I thought your job was that you worked here." said Genji.

"Oh yeah, how'd that happen?"

"OK, discussion question time." Hana said, raising her voice. "What's the most interesting job you've ever had?"

"Overwatch employee." Fareeha answered.

"Overwatch employee." Lena agreed.

Jesse let his knee catch against Hanzo's thigh in a suggestion of contribution.

"I once had a business internship where I was able to observe the marketing strategies of subliminally convincing adolescents they weren't attractive enough so they would purchase excessive amounts of our skin care products." Hanzo said.

Jesse covered his eyes and winced, but not soon enough to miss how everyone turned to Hanzo with expressions of bewilderment, save for Genji, who rubbed his visor, and Ana, who struggled not to laugh.

"What?" Hanzo asked again.

"I once had to work at Taco Time." Ana said, and to Jesse's extreme relief, it started another conversation.

" _Why would you say that?"_ Jesse whispered to Hanzo.

" _I was being honest._ " Hanzo whispered back. " _Ms. Song did not ask what job I had that was the most beneficent towards society, but for my most interesting experience. And I can assure you that my experience there was interesting._ "

" _You had to've known that was gonna rile 'em. Come on_."

" _Why would I have known that would upset them? I still don't understand their reaction. I did not say I enjoyed my time or even took part in the process, just that I got to observe it_."

" _They ain't got that much to work with when it comes to you, alright?"_

Hanzo paused in thought over the sound of Mei monologuing about the horrors of food service.

"I quit that job." Hanzo blurted, full volume.

Jesse's head stung in the silence that followed. Desperate for a diversion, he made a silent attempt to will himself into a fit of projectile vomit. He failed, but in the second strongest burst of relief he'd felt that day, Morrison walked into the breakroom with the least amused expression Jesse had ever seen.

"What's going on here?" Morrison grumbled. "Oxton, Amari Junior, you were supposed to be at sparring practice twenty minutes ago!"

Lena and Fareeha grumbled but didn't explicitly talk back as they removed various parts of Genji from their laps and exited the couch.

"In fact." Morrison continued. "Let's all have an extra sparring practice. Get off your asses, men, and get to the mats."

Everyone under the age of thirty-five groaned. Morrison's orders were annoying, but they were nothing compared to the militant old days of Blackwatch. When Winston had replaced Reyes, the workplace had turned severely more liberal in philosophical practices. However, Morrison still took every opportunity he could to be petty.

"And move that damn drum set." he finished.

Jesse got to his feet alongside Hanzo, who looked just as relieved. Jesse lagged them behind the group so that they could speak in private.

"...I'm sorry." Jesse drawled, as touchingly pathetic as he could muster while still coming off as authentic.

Hanzo's face showed irritation but surprisingly no real aggravation.

"Despite the obvious fact that this was, for all intensive purposes, a multilayered disaster," Hanzo replied, "I suppose it's alright. This is exactly what I was expecting to happen and it was already in my plans to visit the sparring room."

"Oh."

"I suspect it would be a fruitless endeavor to request you cease your flattering but ultimately counterproductive concerns regarding my social life, but I do please ask that you have more tact in your future attempts to improve things."

Jesse struggled not to sputter when he felt a hand touch his back in a gesture that could only be described as affectionate.

"I--I'll keep that in mind." he replied.

"Thank you. And Jesse?"

"Yeah?"

"Meet with me tonight."

Jesse stared, just for a moment. Hanzo's eyes reflected intimidating levels of sincerity.

"With pleasure." Jesse replied, regaining his composure.

"And wear those pants."

Before Jesse could react, Hanzo removed his hand from his back and left the conversation, making his way towards the front of the group, leaving Jesse with a lot to think about.

Jesse looked down. He was wearing his usual off mission jeans, a pair that Hanzo had seen him wear at least a dozen times over the last year. Jesse didn't see the appeal.

 

~~~~

 

Eight hours later, Jesse stood in his kitchenette with Hanzo, wearing the same pants he'd had on in the morning. Hanzo had come over for a drink and a movie, both of which had finished, and they'd moved on to making some late night dinner. Hanzo was unenthusiastic about Jesse's choice to make pizza pockets.

"I hate North Americans." Hanzo said as Jesse burnt his tongue trying to eat his food.

"Most people do."

"But I especially hate North Americans."

"Uh huh."

"All you people do is make unnecessary food products and argue about your varying interpretations of the Constitution and discuss your unconditional lust for..."

Hanzo suddenly trailed off. He looked bothered.

"For who?" Jesse asked.

"I am forgetting the name."

"Who are they?"

"An Western actor. You said he was one of the 'red, white and blue greats'."

"What was he in?"

Hanzo rubbed his chin.

"He was in Tootsi." he said.

"Hoffman?"

"No, he was not the star."

Hanzo was pacing now. Jesse watched in utter amusement, trying and failing to get the stupid grin on his face to go away.

"What else was he in?" asked Jesse.

"Oh!" Hanzo replied, snapping his fingers. "He starred in the one about the small town. You showed it to me a few months after we met."

"What genre?"

"Existential horror."

"I ain't ever showed you a existential horror. You're the one who likes that fever dream stuff. Just tell me what the thing was about."

"A man. Visiting a small town. He kept reliving the same day over again."

Jesse scrunched his brows.

"Groundhog day?" he said. "Wait, are you talking 'bout Bill Murray?"

"Bill Murray!" Hanzo exclaimed with charged eyes. "Yes! All North Americans do is make unnecessary food products and argue about their varying interpretations of the Constitution and discuss their unconditional lust for Bill Murray!"

"Y--you thought Groundhog Day was a horror movie?"

Hanzo scoffed.

"Was it not?"

"It was a romantic comedy."

"That is not a genre that is mutually exclusive with horror."

"How is Groundhog Day a horror movie?"

Hanzo looked at Jesse like he was the biggest idiot in all of the world.

"A man? Unable to stop existing in a reality he does not wish to exist in?" Hanzo started. "An Ellisonic horror."

"But he--he got out of it."

"Obviously, considering how surprised he was when it happened the first time, his perception of the nature of reality was proven to be deeply flawed that day. How would he know it would never happen again?"

"Nah, he knew."

"How would he know?"

"He just...knew. You don't understand."

"You're correct, I do not. Do you know what I would do the very moment I got out the first time? I'd hang myself, and so would you, provided we were not too psychotic to complete the task."

"Goddamn, Hanz, how do you live with a mind like that?"

"I do not dwell on my conclusions if they serve my life no purpose." Hanzo answered. "And I..."

Hanzo trailed off as he grabbed a handful of Jesse's collar.

"And I keep myself distracted." Hanzo finished.

Jesse grinned and put down the half-finished pizza pocket he was holding. Hanzo pulled him downwards and over.

"You may have a sick mind--" Jesse mumbled against Hanzo's lips, "--but damn, do you got a pretty mouth."

Jesse quickly followed his comment by capturing Hanzo's top lip between his teeth and rolling it under his tongue. Hanzo shivered, and Jesse marveled at his own sense of accomplishment. He nudged Hanzo into the smooth, flat wall of the kitchen, keeping him in place with a hand on his hip and a fist against the tiles next to both their heads, body flooded with a delightfully familiar spark.

"You enjoy boxing me in." Hanzo muttered, their noses bumping together.

"Didn't notice."

Hanzo rolled his gaze but didn't say anything. Jesse dipped down to work at Hanzo's neck and twist his gi into a little mess with his hand. Hanzo made an adorable little noise and raked his palm through Jesse's hair.

"Pretty." Jesse muttered, overwhelmed by the scent of Hanzo's skin. Not wanting to leave a bruise, Jesse brought his mouth lower, carefully scooting Hanzo further up up the wall for a better angle. Jesse hummed in approval when strong legs wrapped around his waist.

"Externally, I suppose." Hanzo replied.

Jesse broke away from Hanzo's skin as Hanzo tugged at his shirt. Popping the buttons of his flannel undone, Jesse let it fall to the floor. Wanting to feel their skin pressed together, Jesse pulled Hanzo's gi over his head and deposited it absentmindedly to the side, hoping Hanzo didn't care that it had ended up in a potted plant. He reached down to cup Hanzo's thighs, rubbing against the material of his pants just a few times before he grew impatient and reached up to attempt to push them down to Hanzo's suspended knees.

"Hold on." Hanzo said before Jesse could do anything. He tightened his legs around Jesse's waist, reaching his hands back. It took Jesse only a moment to realize he was undoing his boots, and only another moment for Hanzo to finish, the material of his pants fanning out on his calves.

It was simplistic, but Jesse always enjoyed the sight of Hanzo off his gourd, pitching an old-fashioned tent. The strain against the fabric was a good way to remind Jesse that he wasn't the only one enjoying himself; the thought that he could actually turn Hanzo on, and so easily, was still a little astonishing and a lot exhilarating. The feeling of it was nice too, pressing a line of hardness against Jesse's stomach.

Not to mention the aesthetic value.

"Have you forgotten the location of my face?" Hanzo asked, tightening his legs around Jesse's waist and reaching out to tilt his head up.

"Can you blame me?"

"You are very predictable."

Jesse pulled Hanzo up for another kiss, charged like static electricity. Frustrated, Jesse pulled the fabric of Hanzo's pants down to his thighs as far as he could im their position, just a few inches, before tracing a hand over Hanzo's butt. He pulled his hand back quickly when his hand didn't meet any fabric, realizing Hanzo wasn't wearing any underwear.

"Oh, Christ." Jesse swore, repressing a blush as a dirty flame ignited in him. His hips jerked forward, crushing their pelvises together. He rocked against Hanzo's form, grinding him into the wall, rubbing the bases of their hard-ons together as he struggled to collect himself.

"Are you trying to kill me?" asked Jesse.

"Huh?"

"Goin' commando."

"I had a stealth rundown with Commander Amari this afternoon. Undergarments would be inappropriate, as they add more noise potential. This is standard for me in combat."

Hanzo's comment probably wasn't formulated for the purpose of triple-revving Jesse's engine, but it did, nonetheless, and Jesse had to bury his face into Hanzo's shoulder as they moved together to stop himself from waking any of his neighbors.

"I see this intrigues you?" Hanzo asked.

"Just lemme pretend you had-- _this_ \--in mind when you got dressed this morning."

"Um."

Hanzo obviously had not been thinking about this when he'd gotten dressed this morning, but that did little to stop Jesse from needing to escalate the situation.

"Let me take you like this." he panted, boring his eyes into Hanzo's to show how serious he was.

"Can you support me for so long?"

"If I can't, we can fuck on the floor."

Hanzo gave Jesse an indescribable look. Jesse felt his nerves twist with uncertainty.

"Tempting." Hanzo said, the corners of his mouth soft. "But it is not your turn."

"My turn?"

Hanzo smiled wicked and reached around to grab Jesse by the ass.

"Three out of four, did you say?" Hanzo asked, mockingly innocent.

It took Jesse a moment to understand what was going on, but when he did, his eyes widened.

"Have we really done this three times?" asked Jesse, as if he hadn't been unintentionally mapping their encounters in his head.

To Jesse's dismay, Hanzo twisted out of his position against the wall. Once Hanzo had gotten to the ground, he brushed his naked self off and grabbed Jesse by the wrist, leading him to the bedroom. Jesse barely complied.

"You sure you want me to bottom?" he asked.

"Yes."

"But I can't bottom. I got hair on my chest."

Hanzo glanced over his shoulder and down to the light dusting of hair across Jesse's chest. He tightened his mouth.

"You will manage." Hanzo replied, pulling Jesse through the doorframe.

"I'm taller."

"That's fine."

Jesse was about to mention the fact that his dick was a half-inch longer before he was lightly pushed back onto the bed. He fell with a tiny thud. Hanzo chased after him, smoothly landing to his left and just a little bit over him.

At the very least, Hanzo did look like a god. And Jesse couldn't really complain when a soft, clever mouth pressed back against his own and a pair of hands undid his buckle and slid his pants down so that they could both pet up each other's thighs as their tongues twisted together, feeding Jesse a sort of sexual and emotional charge that he had began to associate with Hanzo.

Jesse was so hard he didn't know what to do.

Above him, Hanzo slipped his knee between Jesse's legs, spreading them, and the charge buzzed warmer as it started to push against where Jesse wanted it.

"Take these off." Hanzo said, tugging at the waistband of Jesse's boxers.

"Run the salt mines too?" Jesse panted, scooting up so that he could pull his underwear down.

"I could."

Jesse made a noise of interest as Hanzo ran a few fingers down his bare cock and reconnected their mouths. Distracted, Jesse lost himself in the stimulation and the warmth of Hanzo's face, working against his own with new certainty.

Jesse then, however, found himself with a finger between his legs.

He unconsciously moved away and broke away from Hanzo's lips. Hanzo raised an eyebrow.

"Are you alright?" Hanzo asked.

"Yeah. Just do it."

Hanzo made another attempt. Jesse moved away again.

"It is difficult when you keep scooting away from me."

Jesse grit his teeth and forced himself to stay still as Hanzo squeezed a generous amount of lubricant onto his hand. Hanzo slipped a finger back inside of him, and then another a few moments later.

"Thank you." said Hanzo.

Jesse wasn't sure how to describe the feeling of fingers inside of him. The pressure mildly burned, but there was enough lubricant that there wasn't any serious pain. Still, he winced a little as Hanzo added more pressure, at the feeling of himself getting stretched out.

"Am I, uh, supposed to enjoy this part?" Jesse asked.

"I do. Are you in pain?"

"No."

"Then I am content with that."

Jesse couldn't help but feel, from Hanzo's expression, that he was being laughed at, just for how clearly uncomfortable he was.

"You are tense." Hanzo said.

"You got two fingers up my ass." Jesse replied, but he struggled to relax his muscles, nonetheless.

Hanzo added a third finger, and a flame stirred in Jesse as it started to feel good. Not great, but enough to keep him hard. Hanzo smirked as Jesse stopped wincing.

"Are you starting to see the appeal?" Hanzo asked.

"Better than a hole in the head."

Hanzo did not seem satisfied with Jesse's answer. With a scoff, he twisted his fingers around, rather then up, like he was searching for something. Jesse was very, very aware when he found it.

" _Fuck._ " Jesse groaned, before immediately becoming self-conscious.

Hanzo played with the spot again, stabbing pressure against it a few more times in a sequence of tiny thrusts.

"Feel alright?" Hanzo asked.

" _Nnhg_."

Jesse loved and hated it. He loved it because it felt so good, like a little prick of pure ecstasy. He hated it because it made him feel more than a little exposed.

Still, as time passed, Jesse was glad Hanzo didn't touch his cock, even as it started to drip, because for the first time since nineteen, Jesse would have worried about spilling before they even started. He found himself trying to bite back the little noises he was making, but then Hanzo leaned over and started to suck on his neck as he worked, and the endeavor became impossible.

Eventually Hanzo pulled his hand out and removed himself from the crook of Jesse's shoulder long enough to grab some supplies. Jesse stayed on his back and shut his eyes.

"You still look as if you're bracing yourself." Hanzo said.

"Ain't that the point?"

"You are a ridiculous human being. Relax."

Jesse did not relax as Hanzo pressed a hand against his thigh and sunk into him, which was probably why the process was so slow. A dull, pleasant tingle and the feeling of Hanzo over him superseded the strange, burning sensation of having a dick up his tailpipe, but still, even though he had braced himself for it, Jesse winced a little at just how emasculating the whole thing was, especially as his legs were spread further apart so that Hanzo could properly position himself.

"I will stay still until you say otherwise." Hanzo said, lifting himself onto his elbows so that they could look each other in the eyes with a few inches of space. His hair fell over the both of them and tickled Jesse's face.

"You know how to do this, right?" Jesse asked.

"Yes, of course. It is like laying a woman."

"Ah, gee, do you understand now why I find this a little patronizing?"

"No. Do you see something shameful about being fucked like a woman?"

"Well--no--I just--"

Hanzo's face softened into a chuckle.

"Hey, if I was a lady I wouldn't want you to fuck me up the ass either." Jesse followed.

Eyes piercing, Hanzo's face twisted in thought for a short few seconds before growing into something more serious.

"Jesse, despite the fact that I am literally inside of you, you don't have to do this. I'm not going to assault you." Hanzo said. "I know the nature of the agreement we made, and although I enjoy watching you emotionally struggle with the fact that you're enjoying yourself, I worry now that I might be pushing you--"

"I..."

Jesse thought to himself. He felt more than a little tempted to take up Hanzo's offer, to no longer have to feel vulnerable and a little ashamed, but then he realized this was probably how Hanzo felt _all_ the time.

"You know what? I reckon it might be good for me." Jesse said. "Long as my legs stay below my head."

"Good."

"Alright."

"I'd like to start moving."

"Be my guest."

"Thank you."

Hanzo gave a little thrust, and then another more powerful one when Jesse didn't wince. The third thrust turned the whole thing into a rhythm.

"I will admit," Hanzo said, breath heavy, "that it was somewhat-- _oh_ \--torturous to just...stay static inside you for so long."

It was a new sensation, somewhat overwhelming, especially with Hanzo's eyes glued to his face as he bounced against the sheets. It felt good, at the very least, and Jesse swore loudly as Hanzo shifted, just the tiniest bit, and found an angle that was as internally stimulating as all hell.

The only way Jesse could think to describe it was very, very good, like the start of an orgasm. It was frighteningly euphoric, and Jesse found himself clinging onto Hanzo for dear life.

In short, Hanzo filled him good.

"Is this sufficient?" Hanzo asked, and Jesse wondered if it wasn't clear in his face.

" _Yes._ " Jesse groaned, and Hanzo's eyes darkened.

"Do you now understand why I don't mind this so much?"

" _Yes._ "

With the hand not on the mattress, Hanzo squeezed Jesse's thigh, bringing it tighter against the sheets.

"And do you still find it patronizing?" asked Hanzo.

"Yes. _Please_ don't stop."

Amusement cut through Hanzo's flushed, serious face. Jesse was rewarded with a deeper thrust that brought a sound out of him he was far from proud of. It sounded strange to think, but Jesse had been kind of hoping he wouldn't enjoy getting fucked.

Jesse brought his gaze down to Hanzo's hips, rubbing them with his hands as they moved. He couldn't help but fixate on the rhythm of them, intrigued by the movement. It didn't feel like quite as smooth a slide as the times when Jesse was on top, probably just because he was taller, but Hanzo was undeniably experienced at fucking.

"I like..." Jesse started, trailing off when he found himself almost unable to speak, too distracted by the way Hanzo pounded him.

"Yes?"

" _These._ "

Jesse dug his hands in harder, hoping Hanzo got the message.

"You like my hips?" Hanzo asked.

"Way they-- _move._ "

Speaking proved itself to be incredibly difficult, as well as forming coherent thoughts. Jesse wondered how Hanzo managed to keep up a conversation when he was bottoming. Either Hanzo had the will of stone or Jesse wasn't fucking him hard enough.

"You are--" Hanzo started, before cutting himself off.

"What?"

Jesse couldn't believe it, but Hanzo actually looked a little self-conscious.

"You are adorable." Hanzo finished.

Jesse felt a different sort of warmth flutter over him. He quickly searched for something to bite back that would hopefully distract Hanzo from the fact that the flush across his chest had just risen to his ears.

"At least--say something dirty." Jesse managed.

"You are _very_ tight."

"Fuck off."

Jesse knew it was apparent, from multiple areas in his body, how much he was enjoying himself, so it didn't help how intently Hanzo stared him down. He felt a flash of relief when Hanzo broke his gaze in favor of leaning over and scraping teeth under Jesse's ear.

"I suspected you might enjoy this." Hanzo said, and Jesse could feel his grin against his ear.

"Did you?" Jesse replied. Unable to help himself, he scratched his blunt nails down Hanzo's back.

"Of course. It feels superb. And you have to do almost nothing."

"Well--well then."

Grasping onto Hanzo's back for dear life, Jesse gave a fatal attempt to collect himself as his prostate was stabbed in merciless repetition. His lower body was trembling now, not even just simply shaking from the anxiety and excitement of having Hanzo again but quivering from how good it felt on its own. He felt his back arch against his own volition.

"Christ," Jesse stuttered, "you make me--feel so g-- _oh!"_

Jesse didn't realize he was going to come until he was a second into an orgasm, one that shook his body from his core to the tips of his toes. In confusion, he looked down at his untouched cock as it painted his stomach and gave him away. Hanzo pulled out from the crook of his shoulder, eyes full of intent, just in time to catch Jesse's face as he peaked.

"Whoops." Jesse said weakly, struggling to find a face that didn't reflect any of his inner mortification regarding his recent short-comings.

To Jesse's surprise, Hanzo leaned down and gave him a kiss, chaste and quick.

"It's alright." Hanzo replied with a happy scoff. "I will take it as flattery."

Jesse still felt a sense of shame, but more alleviated. Hanzo adjusted his hips.

"Will you allow me to..." Hanzo followed, giving another thrust.

"Fair's fair."

"Tell me if I discomfort you."

Jesse was slack as Hanzo pushed into him again with a new rhythm, tighter and quicker and obviously instated only for the purpose of getting himself off as quickly as possible. It was a little uncomfortable, but Jesse was suddenly too doped up to care.

" _Ah_." Hanzo groaned.

Jesse stayed put under Hanzo's body as his thrusts became progressively more uncollected. Jesse could tell he was teetering. It was a strange thing to witness when he was unable of actively getting off to it, somewhere between bizarre and almost sweet.

"You are so--beautiful when you go." Hanzo muttered.

"Go?"

" _Come_."

"Oh."

Hanzo called out and buried his face in the crook of Jesse's neck. He pushed himself forward a final time, long and deep, as if he was trying to dig himself as deeply as he could.

" _Totemi yoi._ " he cried. Remembering how good it had felt, Jesse stroked Hanzo's hair as he came.

A moment later, Jesse felt Hanzo's body relax. With a satisfied little noise, Hanzo wrapped his arms around Jesse's shoulders in a loose embrace as he pulled out.

"Are you alright?" Hanzo asked, panting.

"Of course I'm alright. Why wouldn't I be alright?"

Hanzo smiled and shook his head. He pulled away to rid himself of the latex in the small canister beside the bed before falling lazily into the sheets next to Jesse, smushing their shoulders together.

"I cannot say. Which is why I asked."

"I'm fine. Could take on the world." Jesse replied, rolling into as good of a defensive stance as he could manage laying down. "Do you wanna fight?"

Hanzo turned his head to the side, unamused.

"No."

"Cause we could hit the sparring mat if you want." Jesse said, before remembering that Hanzo always beat him. "Or we could go to the range."

"I want you to know that I find your obsession with upholding your borderline archaic sense of masculinity to be confusing and embarrassing."

Jesse's mouth nearly came undone.

"How can you even talk about me havin' a sense of--?" he asked. "Look at you. You're as swole as a horse and you never talk about your feelings."

"Because I am an heir, not because I am male. Everyone in my family was psychically active and emotionally repressed."

"W--what?" Jesse asked, not wanting to say it, but hoping Hanzo read between the lines.

"Japan is not a single cultural entity, Jesse." Hanzo answered, reading correctly. "It is a collection of subcultures, the outliers of which would be almost unrecognizable to anyone with but an overarching interpretation based only on common representation. My family was a statistical unlikelihood in this specific system of values, but mathematically, someone has to be."

"Oh." said Jesse, somewhat impressed.

"The only thing which I can say for the entire entity of Japanese people is that we all bathe ourselves, unlike the collection of subcultures smattered across northern Europe." Hanzo boasted.

"Uhuh." Jesse replied, less impressed. At the very least, Hanzo's tone was closer to genuinely informative than condescending.

Eyes narrowing in thought, Hanzo scratched his chin.

"Although now that I think of this," Hanzo started, "I suppose my differing outlook could have something to do with what several psychologists who studied me as a child labeled as an inability to form preconceived associations without very direct conditioning."

"...Huh."

"What?"

"Nothing. That just--I feel like I understand you a little better now."

"Perfect. I am still at a loss."

Jesse chuckled. Hanzo shifted over on the bed to get more comfortable

"You know," Jesse said, "now that I think 'bout it, you're always buyin' shit for your hair, and, uh, some other second thing."

"You still misunderstand me. Those are not feminine traits to me. Those are simply my traits. My traits are a person's traits."

"And I thought you said they were an heir's traits."

Hanzo pulled the pillow out from under Jesse's head and clubbed him in the face with it.

"Well, ain't we what was made of us." Jesse followed, grinning a grin to match Hanzo's.

"You are an imbecile."

Hanzo shifted his head onto Jesse's chest and let himself be the one enveloped, which helped. Jesse tugged on a strand of Hanzo's hair, running it repeatedly through his fingers. In his head, Jesse pondered over Hanzo's words, as well as all of his behavior towards sex, before realizing that Hanzo didn't care that they were nailing each other up the tailpipe, because he was incapable of caring.

They stayed in silence for maybe a minute, before Jesse finally broke the silence.

"I didn't know that, uh..." Jesse trailed off.

"Hmm?"

"It's nothin'."

"Tell me."

Jesse winced at himself in foresight.

"I didn't know that, uh, this was somethin' two men could do for a...while." he managed.

"This?"

"Sex. Anal sex."

"Oh." Hanzo replied, politely amused. "When did you find out?"

"I was 'bout maybe fifteen or so."

"And I assume it was not portrayed as overwhelmingly wholesome?"

Jesse shook his head.

"It's kind of a long story."

"And we have nowhere to be."

All things considered, Jesse supposed that was true. He took a minute to collect the details as Hanzo slowly let his eyes sink closed.

"You ever been to New Mexico?" he asked. Hanzo's eyes blinked open.

"No."

"Well, folks there don't always get along with men in uniform, you know?"

"I can imagine."

"There was a few scandals in the police force, and people were already mad 'fore they happened--"

"Where are you going with this?"

Jesse tugged Hanzo's hair in annoyance.

"We still don't know who did it, but one day this paper-mache statue showed up of a police man," Jesse started, "right outside the Loretto Chapel. He was, uh, touching his toes, as you can say, and..."

Hanzo broke his yawn with a snicker, presumably from realization.

"People would take pictures of themselves standing behind him," Jesse continued. "Miming like they were screwin' him in the butt."

"How long did it stay up?"

"Not too long. Sister Marta went on a damn near tantrum. But anyway, that was pretty much the--"

"Common depiction?"

"Yeah."

Hanzo was silent for a long moment. He seemed to be pondering heavily over his next words.

"I apologize if my criticism of you was too harsh." Hanzo finally said. "Although I still agree with the sentiment, perhaps it was unnecessarily cruel of me to call you nonsensical and embarrassing for having emotions in response to a force that I, for whatever reason, never had to experience."

"Yeah, what was with that? Never took you as someone who gave that much of a damn about civil justice."

"It's less about any form of--sexual liberation and more about the intense frustration I've always tended to hold whenever humans place value on objects or concepts that I don't see to be representative of the intrinsic value of the object or concept. Especially when people begin to insist that the value _is_ intrinsic. This just happens to be one of those concepts. I--I don't know how to explain it."

"Try." Jesse replied. "I'm kinda confused."

"It is like..." Hanzo trailed, "homophobia--and other such concepts--just seems very random to me. People could have just hieght or eye color that people stigmaized or nailed associations too."

"I mean, I'm not saying that you're wrong. But I can't imagine living like that. Kinda shocked that you do."

"Think of it this way. I think of this the same way you think of legal regulations."

"Oh. Actually, that kinda makes sense." Jesse replied, truthfully. "I guess that--kinda makes me feel better." 

Hanzo twisted his mouth to the side.

"May I make a cold observation about your cultural background?" he asked.

Jesse thought to himself for a moment. Hanzo's cold observations about his cultural background usually tended to sting a little, although he supposed he almost always ended up appreciating them in the long run.

"Shoot." Jesse replied. "I got thick skin."

"I will just say that I suspect that if you were to meet the individuals who placed the stigmazations and nailed the association we are discussing, you would find them to be...cultish."

Jesse chuckled as he shook his head. He couldn't believe that Hanzo thought that about North Americans, let alone anyone.

"Think so, huh?" he asked.

"I think even sister Martha would."

"Sister Marta. Say it wrong and you're gonna get a ruler to the back of the head."

"I'll keep that in mind."

Jesse's mind took a while to process the information, but he felt better once he did.

"So." he asked.

"Yes?"

"You wanna talk about Japan's relationship with sex?"

"Absolutely not."

Jesse watched in amusement as Hanzo rolled over, pushing his face into the pillow. His body was relaxed, the same way it always was when Jesse was finished with him.

"Gotta ask." Jesse said. "You always get this tuckered out after you come?"

"Only when the experience is especially pleasant." Hanzo replied. A mere second after the words left his lips, his body stiffened in mild regret.

"We will pretend I did not say that." Hanzo followed, putting his head up.

"Hey, I'm just glad to know I'm doing my job."

Hanzo's eyes drooped closed again before he flickered them open with obvious struggle. Jesse was then struck by a half-formed idea.

"You can sleep here." he immediately voiced. "If you want."

Despite the exhaustion in Hanzo's face, Jesse still managed to received an uncertain glare.

"Here as in...?" Hanzo replied.

"...Where ever."

Hanzo stared for a moment, and Jesse stared back. He kept his gaze as even and as underwhelmed as he could, but he didn't back down.

"I kick." said Hanzo.

"I can live with that."

"If you at any point awaken me with too much midnight shifting, I will not say anything, but I will begin to resent you."

"I can live with that too."

"Very well."

And with that, Hanzo stopped fighting his eyes and let his head fall. He breathed out a tiny snore, just a few seconds later, and for the first time that Jesse had witnessed, relaxed his face. Jesse wished he could say he spent less time staring before tossed the comforter over both of their pairs of shoulders.

On his back, Jesse thought before closing his eyes that maybe it would be alright if he didn't tell Hanzo how he felt. Maybe things would evolve naturally.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If it's any consoluation I do regret writing this.


	5. (interlude)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello and welcome to the mini chapter. This is a super short one-scene thing, but I'm making it it's own chapter because one, it needs to go between chapters four and five but it doesn't really fit anywhere at the respective end or beginnings of them, and two, I wanted to give everyone an update that the next chapter is going to be delayed a week. I need some time to reorganize scenes that affect my overabundance of plot lines.

A week later, Jesse sat on the cold, hard clinic cot in Angela's office, also known as the unwanted shots room. The door creaked open as Angela returned from the lab, eyeing a holopad that showed the unreadable results of Jesse's latest exam.

Jesse had initially come by just to get a bullet yanked out of his shoulder, but Angela had insisted on giving him the full routine, justifying herself with the infuriatingly accurate notion that Jesse had been continuously rescheduling with her as an attempt to avoid an exam all together.

"How's it holdin' up in me, doc?" Jesse asked, hoping to get out as quickly as possible.

Angela squinted at her pad.

"Excellent BMI." she started. "You're in near-perfect psychical shape. Your cholesterol is poor, although that is to be expected. Your liver is holding up better than it was a year ago. Less stress?"

"Uh--"

"I apologize. Was not professional of me to ask."

"It's alright. No red flags?"

Angela looked at the pad again, this time pulling up a tiny pair of glasses that hung from a chain on her neck to show that she meant business.

"No. Wait--yes." she answered. "You have cancer again."

Jesse covered his mouth as he yawned. He hadn't had his morning coffee yet.

"When can you get that fixed up?" he asked.

"I'll have a shot ready for you by tomorrow at noon."

"Sounds good."

Angela looked back down at her pad.

"How often are you drinking?" she asked.

"About a half bottle a week. Full if it's a mission heavy week."

Angela touched the screen of her holopad. Jesse had just enough height on her to see that she was checking a little box.

"I suggest you cut back." she said.

"And I hear that suggestion."

"Smoking?"

"Ana's got me on patches. I'm down to one a day, when I'm stressed or when I wanna look cool."

Angela rolled her eyes a bit at multiple parts of Jesse's statement. She checked another box.

"Have you heard of vaping?"

Jesse almost coughed on his own spit.

"Yes." he answered.

"Would you ever consider it?"

"Sorry. Got some self-respect."

Angela checked another box.

"Is tobacco the only thing you smoke?" she asked.

Jesse mumbled something.

"Do you need another pamphlet, Jesse?"

"No, I'll quit." he lied, just like he had nearly once a year for the last twenty years.

"For real this time?"

"Mmhmm."

"Good. Are you sexually active?"

Jesse stared. He'd known this question was coming, but that didn't mean he was excited for it.

"...Yeah." he answered.

"Protected?"

"Yes."

"Men, women, or both?"

"At the moment, or in general?"

"At the moment. I know your sexuality, Jesse, I've known you for half your life."

' _Which is why I'm so goddamn uncomfortable._ ' Jesse thought.

"...Men." he answered.

Angela checked some more boxes. If she put two and two together, she didn't let it show in her face. Jesse wondered what she did with these reports.

"I trust you enough to know this is an empty question, but I'm required to ask. Do you feel safe during your current sexual encounters?"

"Yeah."

Angela nodded. A few minutes of silence passed while she finished her report. Jesse wasn't sure why he had to be here for this part, but he wasn't about to say anything. Eventually, she let him go and bid him farewell with a stack of pamphlets forced into his hands.

At least she hadn't made him pee in a cup.

Jesse stepped into the hall. After the door to Angela's office closed behind him, he pulled out one of the pamphlets and scanned the front cover.

" _Coping with your bisexuality when you know your dead parents wouldn't appr_ \--oh, god damn it." Jesse read.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> pls read start chapter notes


	6. Coppola (reprise)

Five months came and went.

Jesse was doing pretty well. He was happy with his social life; diverse and plentiful and enough to keep him away from total alcoholism, and he was happy with his job; the excitement and surprisingly reasonable hours. Sure, the killing people part was psychologically wearing, but it still seemed better than watching the world burn. Jesse was happier with Overwatch than he'd ever been in his life; constantly skeptical and conflicted but trusting enough of the moral integrity of the individual members, which he couldn't say had always been the case.

And lastly, Jesse was doing pretty well because, at an average of twice a week, he got to make love to the man he wanted to make love to.

Hanzo was some of the best sex Jesse'd ever have. Even when the initial shock and thrill of finally getting him wore off, they communicated so well that sex only seemed to get better. There was something special about the way Hanzo fucked, and not just about how good he was at it, but how much of himself he showed, how conversational he was. Jesse was also just plain old happy with the fact that he got to see more of Hanzo in general, had more time to talk with him and just to be with him, which had long since been one of Jesse's favorite things to do.

They slept in the same bed at least once a week. Not in each other's arms, but Hanzo wasn't above letting Jesse tangle them together in a long morning where they had nowhere to be before falling back to sleep. And although having Hanzo's neat-freaky self over so much did have its drawbacks; no more leaving dishes out for months on end or peeing in the shower, they were at most minor annoyances, especially when considering that Hanzo's company made up for any extra dishes ten fold.

In short, Jesse was happy.

As for Hanzo's original declaration that their current predicament was only a temporary one, Jesse didn't mention it, Hanzo didn't mention it, and most importantly, Jesse didn't think about it.

 

~~~~

 

"Can I borrow you for a moment, Jesse?" Ana asked.  
  
Jesse had been on his way to the second floor bathroom for an undercover setup and briefing when Ana stopped him, just a turn away from her office.  
  
"Sure." he replied. He knew that it couldn't be anything too scary, as if it had been, Ana wouldn't have asked so nicely.  
  
"Thank you. Follow me to my office."  
  
Jesse jogged a step to catch up to Ana.  
  
"What's going on?" he asked.  
  
"Technology upgrade. I was supposed to do it earlier today, but I was sidetracked."  
  
"Always gotta keep it ominous, huh?"

"Stop complaining."  
  
Jesse watched as Ana punched in the unlock code for her office. To his dismay, she opened the door before he could do it for her. He followed her inside.  
  
"We're getting rid of the old communicators." Ana explained as she walked towards her desk. She sifted through some papers and pulled out two sleek black boxes, the larger the size of a shoebox, and the smaller, only a few inches across. She opened the smaller one. Jesse could tell Ana was in a hurry, considering the fact that she hadn't asked him three hundred questions regarding his life that gradually raised in levels of nosiness or tried to get him to stop slouching.  
  
"What's wrong with 'em?"  
  
"Nothing in particular. They simply have their limitations."  
  
Ana held up her fingers, and when Jesse focused his eyes he could see she was holding a very tiny, flat chip, no bigger than her pinky nail.

"This will go straight at the top of your cervical vertebrae." Ana followed.  
  
"Um..." Jesse said. This was certainly the first time he'd heard about this.  
  
"It will only take a moment." Ana said. She opened the larger box to unveil a device that resembled an over-complicated ear-piercer and loaded the tiny chip into the back of it.

"What does it do?"

"It allows you to communicate over thought rather than words, without the need of excess plastic or moving your mouth."

"Over...thoughts?"

"Yes. Morrison and I have always wanted to have access to this kind of technology for a long time. And now that we have Winston with us, it seems we can."

"How does it work?"

Ana sighed. She lifted the device in her hand.

"You'll see." she replied. "Put your head down."  
  
"Ain't this a little creepy?"  
  
Ana shrugged.  
  
"Only if you think about it."  
  
"Point taken." Jesse said, content enough. He supposed it was far from the strangest thing Overwatch had put in his body.

He bent forward so that Ana would have better access to his spinal cord. There was only a slight pinching sensation in the back of his neck as Ana inserted the chip. It was over in two seconds.  
  
"Done." said Ana. Jesse stood up straight.  
  
"How do I use it?" he asked.  
  
"It's ludicrous. You have to tap the roof of your mouth three times in the span of two seconds and think of the channel or person you want to message. Oh, and pinch your ear."  
  
"Then what do I do?"  
  
"Then, you think of up to fifty words in the order you want them sent. Tap with your tongue again to send it. Try it."  
  
Jesse went over all the steps in his head before he pinched his ear, tapped his tongue to the roof of his mouth three times, and thought the name 'Ana Amari'.  
  
There was a little ding. Jesse's ears perked up on alert before he realized it had come from inside him.  
  
"There should be a sound if you do it right." Ana said.  
  
' _How's it hanging?'_ Jesse thought. He tapped his tongue to the roof of his mouth once more after he was finished.  
  
Ana stared.  
  
' _A little to the left._ ' her voice rang out, in Jesse's head. Jesse flinched. It sounded like Ana's voice but he hadn't "heard" it, more felt it.  
  
"You didn't pinch your ear." Jesse said.  
  
"I lied about that part."  
  
"Course you did."  
  
Ana chuckled as she began to put away the piece of equipment she'd used to insert the chip, wrapping it in bubble wrap and placing it back into the box.  
  
"What's the range on this thing?" asked Jesse.  
  
"Theoretically infinite, although it has it's limitations through certain materials, such as solid lead."  
  
"Gotcha."  
  
"Oh, and I would advise that, like the old comms, you only use them for work related reasons. I suppose no one would scold you if you used them for personal reasons, but keep in mind that all messages can be viewed by upper-rank members, such as myself."  
  
"Any way to turn it off?" Jesse asked, suddenly struck with the realization that this meant no more trashing comms and disregarding Morrison's orders to go do something stupid.  
  
"If you reach back and--" Ana started, touching the back of her neck, "hold your finger on it for three seconds, you can ignore all upcoming messages that aren't on the emergency channel until you touch it again. Very useful for the spam Genji will undoubtedly send."  
  
"Thank you."  
  
"Thank _you_. You were so much easier than the last one."  
  
"Who put up a fight?"  
  
"You best friend. Who do you think."  
  
Jesse twisted his mouth and gave Ana a little look of intrigue.  
  
"Wait, you got Hanzo to put one of these in?" he asked.  
  
"It's mandatory, and he's under contract. I do, suspect, however, that he plans on making passive-aggressive comments towards Morrison and I until we become clinically insane, in retaliation."  
  
"Good luck."  
  
"I appreciate it. You're free to go."  
  
Jesse turned back towards the door. He got about halfway before a thought occurred to him.  
  
"It--uh--it don't record all the words I think all the time, right?" he asked.  
  
Ana shrugged.  
  
"No one tells me these things." she answered. "If it worries you, try not thinking in words."  
  
"Alright." Jesse replied, suddenly bored with the topic. "I'll see you later. I'm late for my meeting."  
  
"Sorry for keeping you. I assume we are still meeting for dinner tomorrow?"

"Wouldn't miss it for the world."

"Looking forward to it. And stop slouching."  
  
Jesse left Ana's office with a grumble, but he straightened his back before continuing on his way, jogging a little as realized he was now running late. Morrison had said that this was a particularly important assignment, although he did tend to say that about every assignment. Arriving at the second floor bathroom door, Jesse walked through to see Morrison, Hanzo, Fareeha, Hana, and a few long racks of clothing and other accessories. Morrison eyed Jesse with a disapproving glare.

"Nice of you to join us, agent McCree." Morrison said. "Are there any questions?"

"Could you describe the target again?" Fareeha asked.

"Sure. The woman you're looking for is a long time nuisance of ours, a computer hacker and professional extortionist. Average height, about a hundred and thirty pounds, Latina, Mexican accent, usually seen wearing something with purple, and she will not hesitate to fuck with you. We have reason to believe she is working undercover at a Safeway in Seattle, Washington. Do you all have your new communicators inserted?"

Everyone nodded. Hanzo touched the back of his neck and frowned.

"Good." Morrison followed. "Ms. Song has requested to be in charge of undercover clothing, claiming herself to be a fashion expert. If any of you are discovered and tortured to death, blame her."

"Team D.Va!" Hana said, raising her arms in the air.

"Good morale. Now, let's pair you up."

Morrison eyed the four of them. They had already decided yesterday to search in groups of two, with one group making an east to west sweep and the other making a west to east sweep.

"I want to try Song with McCree and Amari with Shimada." Morrison said.

Everyone awkwardly shuffled around until they were in the right pairs. Morrison squinted.

"No, won't work." Morrison followed, shaking his head. "McCree looks like a pervert."

"Hey!"

"Let's try McCree with Amari and Song with Shimada."

Jesse sighed as they all rearranged.

"This might work." said Morrison, eyeing Hana and Hanzo. "You two could pass as father and daughter."

"Looking forward to working with you, daddy." said Hana, putting her hand on Hanzo's arm as she bit back a snicker. Hanzo's face turned white.

"I would like to request a different arrangement." Hanzo muttered.

Jesse ended up with Hanzo. Jesse was almost certain that Morrison had planned to put him with Hanzo in the first place, but had wanted to waste some time being a dick.

"Alright, looks good." Morrison stated. "Song and Amari, and Thelma and Louise."

Morrison barely got through his sentence without breaking into a tiny chuckle.

"You think of that yourself?" Jesse asked through grit teeth.

"This morning."

In Jesse's peripheral vision, he caught Hana, Fareeha, and Hanzo all shrugging at each other. Morrison readjusted his stance.

"Stay with your partner. Search the whole store." Morrison said. "Genji Shimada and I are your backup, so ping him if anything goes wrong. And go to bed early. We have a bomb threat to investigate in the morning."

"When will we be back at Watchpoint?" Hanzo asked.

"Fifteen hundred tomorrow, if everything goes to plan. Any more questions?"

No one spoke.

"Alright, men, I'm out." said Morrison, turning towards the door. "Remember, this is Seattle, so make sure to dress like a hermit that only eats kale and dark chocolate. Other than that, I don't care what happens with your clothes, as long as McCree shaves."

"What? You've never made me--"

"This woman has access to every face in humanity, McCree. If you want your ass hunted down in your own time, that's fine. But don't jeopardize everyone else."

Jesse groaned in irritation and built-up resentment but made his way to the sink in the corner as Morrison left. Hana handed him a shaving kit.

"Thank you." Jesse said, hiding his grimace from her.

"Come over here when you're ready to get measured!" Hana called, walking over to the other corner of the bathroom, by the wastebasket and full body mirror. Fareeha followed, but Hanzo grabbed a handful of nonprescription glasses from a bucket next to the clothing racks and made his way to the corner with Jesse, who was reluctantly buzzing down his scruff with an electric razor.

"Before you ask, yes. I am unhappy with the new communicators." Hanzo said, slipping on a pair of horned rimmed glasses.

"Wasn't gonna."

"I understand that you care deeply for Commander Amari, so I will warn you of my plan to drive her and Commander Morrison insane, slowly, solely with passive-aggressive comments."

Jesse snickered as he moved to the shaving cream, smearing it on his face.

"Surprised they managed to hold you down long enough to get the chip in." Jesse said.

"I am contractually obligated."

"Well, I'm surprised you still work here."

Hanzo watched as Jesse ran a razor down his jaw. A few moments of mutual silence ticked by, save for a momentary yelp when Hana evaporated behind Hanzo and pulled a baseball cap over his head before taking off to help Fareeha with shoes

"Jesse?" Hanzo asked.

"Yeah?"

"I assume that it goes without saying that I have no intentions of sharing any personal information over the new--"

"What kinda fool do you take me for?" Jesse said interrupted, with a gasp of mock offense and a shake of his head. "One that ain't spent a single minute with you?"

Hanzo replied with a tiny bow.

"I apologize for patronizing you." he said, tongue in his cheek.

Jesse grinned, accidentally nicking his face in the process. He covered the tiny prick of red with a small square of thin paper from the napkin dispenser next to him.

"You gonna shave?" Jesse asked Hanzo.

"I'm debating doing so." Hanzo answered, covering his goatee with his hands. "I suppose it would make me less recognizable, but..."

"But?"

"It would not suit me. Satya once said that my face without a beard is that of an angry child's."

Jesse felt a hot wave of jealousy rush through him as Hanzo continued to stare at his own face in the mirror, pondering. Jesse shook his head and did his best to ignore the wave, sitting silently for a few moments until he felt something brush the back of his head.

"Stop it!" Jesse said as he realized it was Hana trying to cut his hair.

"Fine, look like a feral dog." Hana replied before leaving. Jesse returned to shaving.

Less than thirty seconds later, Jesse finished with the razor. He wiped down his face with another paper napkin. Hanzo stared.

"How does it look?" Jesse asked.

Hanzo eyed Jesse's face carefully, his mouth twisting in thought. He turned his head to look at Hana and Fareeha, who were still on the other side of the room.

"I refuse to kiss you until it grows back." Hanzo concluded. Jesse hoped he was bluffing, considering the fact that they were sharing a motel room tonight.

"Didn't think it was that bad." Jesse replied.

"Why is your face so square?"

"Who's ready for clothes?" Hana called, giving both of them razor glares from across the room. Hanzo started to turn towards her.

"Wait." Jesse said, putting a hand on his shoulder. "Fore you go. What do you want our cover to be? Because I was thinkin--"

"Platonic coworkers." Hanzo answered, quick as a wink.

Jesse chuckled.

"Alrighty then."

 

~~~~

 

A few hours later, Jesse stood in the pharmacy department of Safeway, decked out in street clothes, trying to pass for a software engineer. He felt a little naked to be around strangers without a gun on his hip, although he supposed that was the way of city folk.

Jesse didn't really like big cities. He didn't like the way the people walked all over each other, both metaphorically and occasionally literally. Jesse was strongly against the "every man for himself" philosophy, especially when applied to problems like "too many people, not enough shopping carts". At the very least, Hanzo looked absolutely adorable in undercover clothes. Some dirty jeans, a simple rain jacket, and a baggy T-shirt Hana had insisted on that read " _Yes I'm a girl yes I code_ ". Hanzo always had a difficult time staying unnoticed in public no matter what he was wearing, given just how goddamn handsome he was, so they'd decked him out in some coke bottle lenses, hoping to dampen the appeal.

It wasn't working.

"Whatcha thinkin' about, Akira?" Jesse asked Hanzo. "You look like you got something on your mind."  
  
"I'm looking for something for my back." Hanzo answered, quickly moving his gaze to scan across rows of cheap herbal remedies. "However, this is all too cheap."  
  
"Suppose you would only trust a placebo if it's more than fifty bucks."  
  
Hanzo shot Jesse a look.  
  
"A placebo can be very effective, provided the user has the humility to allow it." Hanzo replied.  
  
"Guess that's why they don't work for me. I'm so skeptical that once I accidentally invented the reverse placebo effect."  
  
"The reverse placebo effect?"  
  
"Yeah. NyQuil don't work on me no more."  
  
Hanzo scoffed loudly and rolled his eyes all the way down the aisle.  
  
' _Tone down the accent._ ' his voice rang out in Jesse's head.

'' _Oh, thanks._ '  
  
"We're both imbeciles." Hanzo concluded. "Did you bring the grocery list?"  
  
Jesse remembered that they should probably be grabbing stuff to buy so that it didn't look like they were just palling around the store. Not to mention that everyone in Gibraltar always needed more of something.  
  
"...No." Jesse said, having forgotten to take a proper survey. Hanzo pulled him into another aisle, and Jesse did a quick scan of his surroundings as he was tugged.  
  
' _Clear._ ' he sent Hanzo.  
  
"Useless. Do we need any toiletries?"  
  
"We're outta condoms."  
  
"What?" Hanzo asked, his feet faltering a bit.  
  
"I said, Akira, we're out of condoms."  
  
"I purchased a new box last month."  
  
"Yeah, well, if you don't wanna burn through 'em, you're gonna have to stop leaning against so many counters. Think you can do that?"  
  
Hanzo looked unimpressed.  
  
"We're not using store bought condoms." he stated.  
  
"I can't feel the difference."  
  
"Just because you are so unsophisticated-- "  
  
"Well, I'm sorry that my junk ain't keen enough for the nuances of your asshole, honey."  
  
The flirting came natural and familiar to Jesse. And as for their current predicament, it would hopefully aid things, making them less suspicious to anyone who happened to be listening.  
  
"Matthew." Hanzo said in a mocking warning.  
  
Jesse was going by Matt, but Hanzo was insisting on calling him by the full form Matthew, presumably to be as annoying as possible.  
  
"What?" Jesse asked.  
  
"This is not a brothel. Keep it suitable for all viewers."  
  
"Who's gonna hear me, the security cameras? They ain't even noticed I've shoplifted twenty-five dollars worth a' ball point pens."  
  
"I want a divorce."  
  
They ended up placing a box of condoms in the previously empty basket before continuing on their path. The next aisle opened up into the bakery, a larger section of the store.

‘ _Check behind the liquor counter._ ’ Jesse sent as he tried to catch a gaze behind the in house Starbucks.

 _'It's clear.'_ Hanzo replied.

Jesse nodded absentmindedly. In his attempt to be discreet as he turned his eyes, Jesse found himself walking face first into a woman as he rounded the corner.

“Oh, I'm sorry ma'am.” Jesse said. Hanzo stood at Jesse's side as he dropped to his knees to pick up the cans of motor oil she’d dropped.

“It is alright. I was not being conscious of where I was going either.” she replied, voice friendly. Jesse didn’t even bother giving her a quick glance over to make sure she wasn’t a target, given that this woman was an omnic.

“I’ve heard good things about Valvoline." said Jesse, quickly reading the brand on the last can as he placed it in her basket and got to his feet.

“It certainly holds the least offensive aftertaste. Have you tried it?”

“In my old truck. Haven't tried drinking it yet, but…”

Jesse trailed off for the tiniest moment when he caught sight of Hanzo’s face in his peripheral vision. Hanzo’s face was twisted in...something, not outright cruelty but certainly mild uncertainty. Jesse was unsure if it was intentional or not.

“...suppose I could be persuaded.” Jesse finished.

She chuckled, pleasant and metallic. Jesse cracked a smile.

“You are adorable.” she said as she took back off on her way, basket full again.

“Ma’am.”

Jesse turned to Hanzo, whose expression was still uneasy. Almost frightened.

“You alright?” Jesse asked.

“Yes.” Hanzo replied, his face wiping itself clean.

“You wanna talk about it?”

“No.”

Hanzo hadn’t been outright rude, and they had a task on their hands, so Jesse didn’t push it. However, he did put a silent pin in it.  
  
"We need to get something else." said Hanzo, eyeing their basket.  
  
"You're right. More lube." Jesse replied, dumping some in with the condoms.  
  
"No, we need more of something unrelated to intercourse. So that the tellers will not think we just came here because..."  
  
Hanzo trailed off, and Jesse sensed genuine self-consciousness in his voice.  
  
"I've got an idea." Jesse said, grabbing Hanzo's arm. To Jesse's luck, the produce aisle was only two aisles over. He grabbed Hanzo by the arm and led him into the produce aisle.  
  
' _Clear, and clear. For three and four._ ' Hanzo sent.  
  
"We'll get a couple of these." Jesse followed, picking up a cucumber.  
  
Hanzo left the aisle. Jesse had to fast walk to keep up, chasing behind Hanzo into the next aisle.  
  
"I'm sorry." Jesse said, not sorry.

' _Clear._ '  
  
"Because you have proven yourself to be ineffective, I'm going to message the rest of our D&D group."  
  
"Any takers?"  
  
Hanzo squinted at his phone screen. Absentmindedly, he rubbed the back of his neck.

' _You're doing it again._ ' Jesse sent.

' _Oh, thank you._ '  
  
"Angela wants tampons." Hanzo answered, taking his hand off his neck.  
  
"Alright."  
  
"We cannot buy only condoms and menstrual products. I refuse."  
  
Jesse shook his head but continued them down their path until they had picked up an assortment of other non-suspicious goods. When they passed Hana and Fareeha, Jesse did his best to keep his eyes off.

' _Going ok?'_ Hana sent as they crossed.

' _Going nothing. Haven't seen her._ '

' _Neither have we._ '

Last stop was frozen foods. Hanzo went straight for a floor freezer filled with ice cream mochi.  
  
"You happy?" asked Jesse.  
  
' _Aisle 5 is clear._ ' Jesse sent. On his toes, he stretched up to grab a bag of pizza rolls on the top shelf.  
  
' _As is aisle 6. Have ass we checked legs the deli yet?_ ' Hanzo thought back.  
  
Jesse, wondering if Hanzo was aware of what he'd just sent, gave Hanzo a little side eye to see that Hanzo had stuck his face in the mochi freezer.  
  
"Ecstatic." Hanzo replied, voice lightly touching the line of shrill.  
  
' _When we return to base,_ ' Hanzo sent, ' _I ask that you request for me to be dishonorably discharged._ '  
  
' _Deli's clear, Doctor Freud._ ' Jesse replied, wiping the stupid smile off his face.  
  
Hanzo eventually had to come out of the freezer, his ears only a tiny bit pink and probably unnoticeable to anyone who wasn't directly trying to read him. Basket full and entire store checked, they moved to the front of the store to check out. Hanzo eyed the tabloids as if they were a product of only the most dark and frivolous parts of human nature.  
  
"Where are you going?" Hanzo asked, tugging on Jesse's shoulders as he neared the human tellers.  
  
"To check out?"  
  
"And what is wrong with the self-checkouts?"  
  
"Thought you didn't like all them robots."  
  
Hanzo made a face and did everything short of stomp his foot as Jesse put their basket down in front of the only teller as she finished helping Hana and Fareeha.  
  
The cashier was an attractive woman, maybe in her young to mid thirties. Her hair was streaked with purple and her name tag read 'Candela Rosario'. Jesse gave a two finger wave and positioned himself against the counter at the perfect distance so that his inevitable assertion would come across as endearing rather than creepy.  
  
' _Self-check out assistants are clear._ ' Hanzo sent.  
  
"Hola." the teller greeted.  
  
"Howdy." Jesse greeted back. Hanzo said nothing.  
  
Jesse watched the cashier work. She scanned their items with a bit of a smirk, which Jesse found strange. When she got to the condoms, she stopped and reached for a little microphone.  
  
"Price check on a box of condoms for the two guys who were flirting in the tampon aisle for the last half hour." she announced, and Jesse wondered for a moment how she'd known they'd been flirting.  
  
"Are you allowed to make such comments?" Hanzo asked, voice sharp.  
  
"Aww, don't be ashamed, amigo. There's nothing wrong with a little sodomy."  
  
There was something about the woman that Jesse found familiar, but he couldn't pinpoint exactly what. Next to him, Hanzo stiffened. Jesse stepped on Hanzo's foot before he did something stupid like ask to speak to the manager.  
  
"So what's your poison?" the teller asked, eyeing Hanzo's shirt. "Java or Python?"  
  
"Scratch." Hanzo answered.  
  
She laughed. Jesse had no idea what they were talking about, but apparently Hanzo knew enough to tell a joke.

"Work for Amazon?" asked the teller, turning to Jesse.

"Who do you take us for, poor investors?" Hanzo cut in before Jesse could open his mouth. "We work for Google."

The teller nodded before turning back towards Jesse, giving him a little once over.

"You work with computers?" she asked.

"Yes I do." Jesse replied, trying harder than he ever had in his life to tone down the Southwestern drawl.

"What's your favorite data structure?"

Jesse brought his hand to his mouth, coughing naturally as he scrambled his thoughts for an answer.

' _You find binary trees refreshing._ '

"Can't go wrong with a binary tree." Jesse answered.

"Ah. Claro que si."

The teller was silent as she took their card and bagged the last of their groceries. Jesse waved her goodbye before grabbing both of the bags. He let Hanzo lead the way outside, following his sharp left into the parking lot.

"Binary trees? They teach about those in the Yakuza?" Jesse asked when they were out of earshot.  
  
"Computer Engineering was one of my majors." Hanzo explained.

"Oh."

Jesse supposed that made sense, considering Hanzo's interest in math and science. However, Jesse couldn't help but feel like something about it didn't add up. Unable to put his finger on it, he gave up quickly and pretended to mess with the ATM while they communicated with the rest of the team.

' _Did you boys find her?_ ' Morrison sent.

' _No, sorry. Not one match._ '

' _Huh. Amari and Song didn't either. We'll have you two check the other Safeway a few blocks down tomorrow night, after the bomb-check. We don't want to waste a trip out here._ '

Jesse felt himself frown at the realization that he would have to cancel his dinner plans with Ana.

' _I read you._ '

' _Perfect. Have fun at Motel 6._ '

' _If McCree and I purchase a room at a finer establishment, would you allow us to stay there?'_

' _Good question. No._ '

Jesse returned from the ATM to see Hanzo checking a map on his phone.

"The motel is just a fifteen minute walk this way." Hanzo said, pointing a direction. "There are a few places to stop for food, if you're hungry."

"Sounds good." Jesse answered. He felt a sudden warm wave of contentedness at the thought of a walk, dinner, and a night with Hanzo.

Hanzo eyed a rack of rentable e-scooters next to the sidewalk before looking back at Jesse with a raised eyebrow. Jesse stared back, darting his gaze periodically between the scooters and Hanzo.

They both burst out laughing.

"It is a shame we failed to find her." Hanzo said once they had taken off, on foot.

"Yeah. Must'a seen a hundred people in there, not one even close."

Hanzo nodded. Jesse scratched his chin as he thought back on it.

"That cashier sure was strange." Jesse followed.

"Hmh." Hanzo agreed.

"I've met a lot of weird check out ladies, but--"

Jesse cut himself off, the color draining from his face. When he looked back over at Hanzo, he could see from his wide eyes and undone mouth that they were both thinking the same thing.

"We should be fired." Hanzo said once, a minute later, once they had updated Morrison.

"Absolutely."

 

~~~~

 

Jesse walked, dripping wet, from the motel pool, waving Genji goodbye. Hanzo had once again politely refused their offer to dick around in the pool. Jesse climbed the stairs to their room quickly, wanting to get the chill off his back.

He opened the door to see Hanzo, sitting on his knees on one of the beds, his hands folded across the pool of the pretty little blue and black kimono he'd changed into. His eyes were closed, and his hair was up, although Jesse suspected it wouldn't be for long. As Jesse passed him on his way to the shower, he could see that Hanzo's face was twisting subtly in thought and emotion, presumably in a reflection of whatever he was meditating on.

He looked adorable. He always looked adorable.

Jesse didn't take too long in the shower, not wanting to use up all the hot water. After he'd finished and changed into his preferred flannel and jeans, he left the bathroom to see that Hanzo had finished meditating.

"You look nice." Jesse said, truthfully. He liked the way Hanzo looked in street clothes, but there was something special about the way his prefered, tradtional attire suited him.

"Perhaps, but I feel unclean. Give me a few minutes."

With that, Hanzo walked into the bathroom and closed the door. Thirty seconds later, Jesse hear the water turn on.

Jesse felt a little prick of heat rush through him. Hanzo showering was almost always a sign that he wanted sex. Jesse gave Hanzo a minute before slipping into the bathroom with him. He pretended to wash his hands for a while, and then flushed the toilet, just for fun. Hanzo yelped.

"Some day you are going to wake up with only one testicle." Hanzo threatened from the stall.

Just for that, Jesse stole Hanzo's clothing from the floor of the bathroom and all of the towels before he left. Hanzo was in for a surprise.

Jesse sat on the queen, trying to find something on the complementary holovision to occupy his attention before his main source of entertainment showed up, but unfortunately, all that was on were decades-old reruns of Young Sheldon. A few minutes later, he snickered to himself, catching ear of some angry sounding Japanese from the bathroom.

"If I cashed in your bounty, I could restore the some of wealth I once had." Hanzo said as he stepped out of the bathroom, covering himself with his hands, dripping water all over the floor.

"Salutations."

"I hate you."

"You ain't doin' a good job convincing me to tell you where I put your clothes."

"Pervert."

Jesse burned a hole through Hanzo's bare ass as Hanzo whirled around and began to huff towards the cheap dresser they'd been provided with.

"Colder." said Jesse.

Hanzo stopped. He took a step backwards.

"Warmer." Jesse followed.

Hanzo groaned but turned back around, still covering himself. He gave Jesse a little glare as he took a few more steps.

"Warmer...warmer...colder...warmer..."

Jesse grinned as Hanzo ended up just a half foot from the bed.

"For future reference, if your ploys to get me in bed with you are this inane, please just simply ask outright." Hanzo said.

Jesse pulled a towel out from behind the bedframe. He held it outright, but not that far outright, in a clear gesture of ' _come and get it_ '.

"What if I simply dried off and went to bed?" Hanzo asked over his little smile. "I could get a full nights sleep if I started now."

"Reckon I'd just have to handle myself without you."

"I have no doubt that self-handling is what your body is most accustom to."

"You can go to hell."

Hanzo took the towel and only got half dried off before situating himself in Jesse's lap. A few drops of water soaked through Jesse's clothing, but it wasn't really what was on Jesse's mind.

"Well, ain't you full of surprises." Jesse said as he ran his hands over Hanzo's lower body, admiring the smoothness.

"I've had a long day. Assuage my troubles."

"And how would you like me to do that?"

Jesse grinned. Hanzo didn't answer, just darted his eyes away dismissively before leaning forward to close the distance between their mouths.

Since their first encounter, Jesse had learned more about the intricacies of Hanzo, familiarizing what his skin felt like and the scent of his pheromones. He'd learned how to make Hanzo's body melt and shudder under his palms, how to communicate with him while their mouths were occupied.

Best of all, he'd learned that Hanzo Shimada knew how to kiss. Hanzo knew when to speed up and when to slow down, when to use his tongue, when to break away and let Jesse taste his neck, where to run his hands down while his mouth worked. Jesse rolled Hanzo out of his lap and into the sheets, letting them melt together, slow hands roaming as they hummed pleasant little noises into each other's mouths. It was thrilling for Jesse, to say the least, to experience Hanzo's passion for him. All things considered, he thought it might be his favorite part.

"Thought you weren't gonna kiss me until my beard grew back." Jesse mumbled.

"I misjudged the power of your five o' clock shadow."

Jesse chuckled sheepishly as he carefully pinned Hanzo on his back, so that he could remove the towel that was becoming increasingly irritating for multiple reasons before attaching their mouths back together and sinking his metal fingers into Hanzo's thigh. Jesse was still completely clothed, and although that meant he couldn't feel Hanzo's warmth as well on his body, he did have a quick fantasy of simply unzipping his pants and fucking Hanzo full clothed.

"Been thinking about you all day." Jesse admitted, dipping his mouth down to Hanzo's chest.

"At least you are thinking." Hanzo replied. Jesse scraped with his teeth and was rewarded by a familiar little sigh. However, he was careful, as Jesse had long since learned that Hanzo's fair skin turned purple from a tap.

"Always a pleasure to know you're comfortable enough 'round me to tell bad jokes."

"Fuck you."

Hanzo tugged at his shirt. Jesse quickly complied, stripping off his shirt and reconnecting his mouth against Hanzo's collarbone when he finished. He knocked Hanzo's legs open and stuck his own thigh between them, pressed right up against the important parts. He teased his hand down Hanzo's back and over his butt to the clef between his legs, but he didn't press, just lightly stroked as Hanzo started to move in tiny thrusts against his knee.

"We have talked about an overabundance of teasing." Hanzo said.

A sudden urge popping into his mind, Jesse removed himself from atop of Hanzo, re-positioning himself at the end of the mattress, pulling Hanzo forward so that his pelvis was closer.

"What are you doing?" Hanzo asked.

Jesse dropped to his knees between Hanzo legs. He pulled the right one over his shoulder and pressed a kiss into Hanzo's thigh.

"You are good to me." Hanzo said as Jesse chuckled and took him in his mouth.

Jesse hummed in approval at his new mouthful before getting to work, rubbing Hanzo's thighs with delight.

He wasn't an expert on Hanzo's body, but Jesse did know enough to pull his strings until he was a hot, grinding mess. Jesse was as slow as he could manage as he teased the tip of Hanzo's cock with his tongue, marveling at the taste of fluid that dripped into his mouth. He traced his left hand up Hanzo's body, over the tight muscles of his stomach and the curve of his hips and waist. With his right hand, he teased back between Hanzo's legs, brushing over the tight rim of muscle again, but not pushing in, just yet, no matter how much Hanzo squirmed.

"I retract my previous statement." said Hanzo, breath heavy.

Hanzo's hands twisted into Jesse's hair when he started to bob his head, and it took him a moment to realize he was being slowed down.

"I want to last." Hanzo explained.

"Got carried away." Jesse replied, truthfully, because in all the honesty in the world, the feeling of Hanzo's silky arousal in his mouth was a little overtaking. He took Hanzo back in his mouth, and made sure it was more a tease than anything else.

When Jesse pushed his finger in, his eyes widened in surprise. He pulled away from Hanzo's dick with a pop.

"What did you do in that shower?" Jesse asked, working his knuckle in farther. It wasn't hard, given the slickness and softness that was already present.

"Something mutually beneficial and timely efficient." Hanzo answered. "Almost utilitarian, you could say."

Jesse felt his chest burst with heat. It wasn't the first time he'd entertained the thought of Hanzo, alone, with a hand pumping his cock and the other--

With his free hand, Jesse had to unzip his own pants to avoid chafing.

"You're something else, you know that?" Jesse muttered, slipping in another finger.

Jesse really, really liked the way Hanzo reacted to pleasure. Jesse had always slightly preferred to watch his partner get off than get off himself. And with Hanzo, it was even better, because Jesse felt that on top of getting off a partner, he was getting off a Greek god who had gotten horny for a mortal and chosen Jesse for some reason.

Considering what Hanzo had done in the shower, it didn't take long until he seemed ready. Jesse slipped his fingers out and removed himself from the floor.

"What are you thinkin' tonight?" he asked. "I'll let you choose."

Hanzo's mouth twisted in thought for a short moment before his eyes grew dark and he flipped his body over onto the bed, hands and knees, with enough space behind him for Jesse to be comfortable.

" _Christ_." Jesse groaned.

Jesse rid himself of the rest of his clothing, grabbed the condom he'd left on the nightstand, and slipped it on. He put a little more lubricant on his junk, just in case, and wiped his hand off with one of the towels under the bed he'd stolen from the bathroom.

"Are you coming?" Hanzo asked.

"Ain't that fast."

"I'm sure that is what they tell you."

"Fuck off."

In a single, fluid motion, Jesse positioned himself behind Hanzo. A spark shot through him as Hanzo let his legs fall apart.

"Oh." Jesse said.

"What?"

"Can you do that again?"

"Do what again?"

Jesse gulped.

"Spread your legs." he answered.

Hanzo sighed in mild irritation but brought his legs back together, pausing for moment before spreading his knees until they touched the outsides of Jesse's, exposing himself. Jesse felt another flame shoot through him.

The desire to press his face into Hanzo's ass flashed through Jesse's mind before it was met with self-disgust. Jesse shook his head.

"What?" Hanzo asked.

"Nothin'. You're pretty." Jesse swooned.

"Are you going to do your job?"

"Patience."

Half for his pleasure, and half for practicalities sake, he squeezed Hanzo's left cheek under his metal fingers as he positioned himself to sink in.

Jesse still never got used to this part, actually getting his cock into Hanzo. A few long moments always went by before Jesse could speak, half of him overwhelmed by the intimacy, the other half overwhelmed by the sheer pleasure. Jesse thought this might be his favorite part.

" _Fuck_." Jesse groaned. "You do me a damn fine service, you know that?"

"I thought we agreed it was you who is servicing me."

Jesse snickered before giving a little test thrust, admiring the way Hanzo's butt moved and felt against his pelvis.

"You're providing me one hell of a view, if that counts for anything."

"Considering the financial situation you were in for most of your life, I suspect a view must be a new experience for y--"

Knowing where to aim, Jesse pressed forward with his pelvis in the start of a rhythm that quickly turned full. It shut Hanzo up real quick.

" _Oh_." Hanzo groaned.

"'s what I thought." Jesse shot at him, completely undercutting his line with a shaky delivery.

As he rolled his hips, Jesse moved his hands down the curve of Hanzo's spine before sliding them around the cups of Hanzo's tiny waist and onto the muscles of his belly in nothing short of wonder. He still wasn't completely sure that Hanzo hadn't been carved from marble.

It always made him feel like a pervert, but he moved his gaze downward, just a moment, to watch himself slide in and out of Hanzo. He immediately squeezed his eyes shut and groaned, pulling Hanzo closer by the hips.

"See something--you like?" Hanzo asked between the breathy little sounds he was making to the rhythm he was fucked.

Jesse chuckled and landed a satisfying smack on Hanzo's ass in response. Hanzo let out a sharp little cry.

"Condescending." Hanzo managed.

"You're such a tight little thing, you know that?"

"Mmmh. Tell me."

"Got a beautiful ass."

"More."

"L _oooo_ ve to fuck it."

Tight against Jesse's pelvis, Hanzo moved his spread knees in little figure eight patterns against the mattress, which through the power of physics, had him bobbing up and down, bottoming out like Jesse'd never seen a person do. Jesse slowed down a bit, just so that he could watch Hanzo do it, perplexed by the fluidity of the motion.

" _Christ_." Jesse groaned, speeding back up. "Where did you learn to do that?"

"I had a girlfriend in--graduate school who liked--to watch me do it while she pegged me."

"...It was a rhetorical question."

Jesse turned his gaze to the back of Hanzo's head as they moved together. He wished he could see Hanzo's face, but at the very least, the sounds Hanzo made were beautiful. Jesse aimed, just right, and pulled a two part cry through Hanzo's gritted teeth.

"Feel alright?" Jesse asked, more smug than anything else.

He yelped in pleasure when Hanzo clenched himself down on his cock. Jesse felt his hips falter in their perfect rhythm as he pressed forward too quickly. Struggling, he regained himself, only to call out and stumble again as Hanzo tightening himself once more.

"You are easy." Hanzo said, voice thick with satisfaction.

Jesse grinned to himself and slowed his hips down, using all his will to make Hanzo regret himself. Hanzo mumbled something, obviously sensing his mistake.

"What was that, sweetheart?"

"I'm sorry." Hanzo muttered. He squirmed a little against Jesse's hips, frustrated.

Getting Hanzo to beg was difficult, but when it happened, it was something to marvel at. Something Jesse had learned about being in the sack with Hanzo was that no matter dirty they got, Hanzo almost acted as if he was only engaged in the situation as a sociological experiment, rather than his own pleasure.

"Somethin' you want?" Jesse asked.

"A competent partner."

Jesse put his hands on Hanzo's hips and pulled halfway out in a warning.

"Fine. Fine." Hanzo said. "I want--"

Hanzo cut himself off. Jesse watched in satisfaction as the tips of Hanzo's ears, poking through his drying hair, turned bright pink.

"I want your--cock." Hanzo said, seeming content with facing away.

Jesse gave him a teasing little thrust. Hanzo chased it with his own hips.

"Please?" Hanzo begged.

"Please what?"

"Please give it to me."

Jesse resumed his rhythm and reveled at Hanzo's loud sound. Jesse lost himself in the movement again, in the feeling around his cock and the breathtaking shape of Hanzo's body.

"This what you wanted?" Jesse asked.

" _Yes_."

Jesse watched in amusement as Hanzo struggled to recollect himself. Jesse fucked him a little harder, just to make it more difficult.

"Do not be so foolish as to think--I don't know you do that so you can last longer."

"A man can have multiple motivations."

"Such as?"

"Think it's good for you to admit how much you love taking my cock."

Hanzo moaned, loud and sharp as Jesse tilted forwards, catching his weight his hands so they were both on their hands and knees. Hanzo arched his back further, lifting the angle of his butt for a smoother, dirtier slide. Jesse let out a sharp breath and sped up, pounding harder until he could hear the repetitive smack of their bodies together.

"I will admit--" Hanzo stuttered, "it's my--favorite part of you."

"Yeah?"

"Relatively."

Jesse scoffed.

"Well, I like giving it to you."

"Hmm?"

"I like how much you like takin' it, too." said Jesse, and Hanzo groaned.

"Only because you have--fractured my composure will I admit--you are a very good size."

Jesse glowed. Hanzo had never mentioned the fact before that he was a solid centimeter over the average.

"Yeah?"

"Yes. You--fill me." Hanzo replied, voice husky and breath sharp. "And you are not too big."

"W--what?"

"A good size. Not too large. Your phallus? Why are you slowing down?"

"What do you mean it's not..." Jesse trailed off, feeling his rhythm falter. He nearly pouted, feeling like he had been shot in the balls and kicked in the stomach.

Hanzo groaned a different kind of groan.

"Do you truly constitute your size a point of pride?" Hanzo asked, as if it was the most pathetic thing on the planet to do so.

"I did."

"It's not my liability that you placed merit on something so culturally arbitrary."

"Do you--do you not like my--"

Hanzo moved his hips back and forth in a few strokes, presumably in an attempt to get Jesse to fuck him again. Jesse barely noticed, as he was too busy being wounded.

"Yes. I like it." Hanzo replied. "I was being genuine."

"...Alright."

"I'm telling you that you are not obnoxiously large. Take it as a compliment."

"Who says that? Who says that as a compliment?"

"It is a point of sophistication! I suppose you'd rather have an unnecessarily large penis? You'd rather it take double the preparation time and for me to be uncomfortable? You'd rather look like an idiot?"

"Like a--what?"

"Too much phallus makes a man look like a fool."

As put off as Jesse had been, he couldn't help but chuckle. However, he shut up real quick when Hanzo pulled away, turned around, and wrestled him down flat on his back.

"Could a' just asked." Jesse muttered as Hanzo climbed into his lap.

"You have lost the privilege of rhythm control." Hanzo answered, positioning his calves flat against the mattress on either side of Jesse's legs as he sunk himself down.

"That's fair."

Jesse sighed in pleasure as Hanzo started to bounce from his knees in a tight, easy pace. With his right hand, he grabbed Hanzo's hips, just to feel the smoothness of his skin over the pretty little curves. Jesse forgot what he'd been worked up about.

"Gorgeous." Jesse smirked, sticking his free hand behind his head. He tilted his hips up to give Hanzo more to work with, but other than that, he left Hanzo in charge, letting him fuck himself to his delight.

" _Ah._ " Hanzo replied.

"Way to put it."

Jesse felt himself getting closer as Hanzo bounced on his lap. Jesse stared, darting his gaze between the rippling movement of Hanzo's body and Hanzo's face, lit up by two piercing eyes that locked with his own is a gesture so intense that Jesse could only describe it as one that gave a boner to his very soul.

"I'm..." Hanzo muttered. " _Nnngg_."

Jesse could tell from Hanzo's body language, the way he breathing and the tense in his brow and the state of the flush over his shoulders that he had a little less than a minute left in him. Jesse felt himself perk up at the thought.

"You're close?" Jesse asked, wanting to hear it.

Hanzo nodded as he tipped forwards, their bodies as parallel as possible as their position allowed. His hair fell over his shoulder and touched Jesse's face.

With the hand not glued to Hanzo's waist, Jesse touched Hanzo's chin, pushing his thumb over Hanzo's bottom lip, open and wet.

Hanzo was so pretty that Jesse didn't know what to do.

Jesse moaned loud when Hanzo dipped his head, taking the pad of his thumb into his mouth. Jesse was impressed by the methodical cleverness of Hanzo's tongue, especially considering the speed they were moving and the lack of composition in the situation.

"Goddamn, you drive me up the wall." Jesse blurted, feeling his own abdomen warn him of the peak that was nearing him.

"Yes?"

"Make me so hot."

"Uh."

Needing more friction, Jesse grabbed Hanzo by the shoulders and flipped them over, pounding hard. On top, Jesse twisted his hands into the sheets, desperate for leverage. Under him, Hanzo's flush deepened as his hair fanned out in an absolute mess. Jesse flicker his gaze between Hanzo's wide pupils and his mouth, which came undone with a heavy breath every time Jesse hit home.

It was a beautiful sight.

"Missed this." Hanzo whispered.

"So good."

This was Jesse's favorite part; when they were too hot and bothered and moaning too loud to say anything irreverent. Jesse moved both his hands to cover Hanzo's, holding them lightly against the mattress as Hanzo's head tipped back.

"Angle?" Jesse managed. Under him, Hanzo's legs quivered hard.

" _Right there._ "

"Yeah?"

" _Don't stop._ "

Jesse squeezed his metal and flesh fingers around Hanzo's as he dipped his head into Hanzo's neck, giving a quick nuzzle of affection. However, he pulled up quickly, not wanting to miss Hanzo's face as he came.

"I'm--" Hanzo started, cutting himself off.

"Come for me."

"Issho ni to shi o kasaneyou." Hanzo cried, eyes and mouth widening in shock, "Oh. _Oh!"_

Jesse watched Hanzo close as he came, his face, the way his body spasmed as he painted his chest. It was nothing he hadn't seen before, but that sure as hell didn't mean he had no interest in seeing it again. All things considered, it was Jesse's favorite part.

' _I love you._ ' Jesse thought, just to himself this time, as he toppled over his own peak. He heard himself growl a few obscenities, felt his eyebrows draw together and his mouth open stupidly. In a final shuddering motion, he pushed his hips as deep into Hanzo as he could and came so hard he couldn't remember what planet he lived on.

 

~~~~

 

Jesse lied on his back, flush against the bed. The sheets were a cheap linen but the cigar he brought to his mouth and took a long, slow drawl of was fine.

Life was good.

"Pass it." Hanzo said, a tattooed hand coming into Jesse's line of sight. Jesse handed him the stick.

"That was fun." Jesse declared, a long moment later as Hanzo gave him the cigar back.

"Mmm."

Hanzo rolled onto his side, away from Jesse, but Jesse could tell that he was smiling. He looked tired, which wasn't a surprise, considering the time and how much a good orgasm tended to take out of Hanzo. Scooting up behind Hanzo, Jesse let his arms fall around him. When Hanzo turned his head up and around, Jesse found it natural to let their mouths fall together, slow and dry and scented like fine tobacco.

"What time do we gotta be up?" Jesse asked.

"Seven hours from now."

"Ain't too bad."

Hanzo didn't reply, instead letting his eyes slipped closed as he turned his head back away. Jesse still had a few things he wanted to do before falling asleep, but for the moment he stayed put, indulging in his bliss with Hanzo in his arms.

A minute in, Hanzo's breath started to quicken. Jesse pulled back. A moment later, Hanzo's breathing regulated, and he fell back into Jesse's arms.

"Are you going to sleep?" Hanzo asked, voice lazy.

"No, gotta write a report. But you go ahead."

Hanzo fell silent. Jesse gave him another squeeze before pulling away and slipping back into the shirt and boxers he'd left on the floor, moving to the tiny desk in the corner of their room to finish his report.

He went to bed that night smiling.

 

~~~~

 

Jesse was no stranger to nightmares, but that didn't mean they weren't the worst.

Throughout his forty years of life, Jesse had seen enough to shellshock an entire family. He thought he coped pretty well, besides the occasional day-drinking, but he was completely at a loss of what to do when his unconscious mind's eye decided to feed him images that he spent the rest of his time trying to forget.

Everything was on fire.

Everyone was reacting with the intensity and volume that was to be expected. Jesse was flat on his back. Gabe was above him, staring at Jesse's left side with wide eyes. Jesse followed his gaze and screamed when he saw his arm was no longer attached to his body, but resting in some rubble, a few feet to his side.

Jesse tried to stand up and look around, but Gabe pulled at him, covering his eyes and forcing him with a bandage and some biotics. However, Jesse still caught a few flashes of horror in the smoke and rubble, and just fifty feet away, a shot of white hair and a big gun and suddenly it was very clear to Jesse who's set off the bomb.

Panic and fear left Jesse as a hot spark of rage overtook him.

"You..bitch! You goddamn demon bitch!" Jesse shouted as Gabe dragged him away, still covering his eyes.

Jesse had never said the word 'bitch' before, considering it too rude a word. But at the moment, it felt too good not to use, though he might have regretted it in hindsight.

He heard Ashe snicker. Jesse struggled against Gabe's restraints

"Trust me, kid, you don't wanna fucking see." Gabe yelled over the commotion, starting to gather Jesse in his arms.

"I'll get you back for this if it's the last thing I ever do, Ashe, you goddamn psychopath!" Jesse shouted.

Ashe yelled something back at that, but Jesse didn't get a change to hear. He started to panic as realty shifted. He was still on his back and Gabe was still there, but Gabe wasn't Gabe anymore. Jesse's missing arm was suddenly replaced by one of metal.

Reaper had a foot on his chest. He reached his arms out, hands more talons than anything else. Jesse was too panicked to do anything but reach out and push in a messy grab that was more of biologically programmed last resort than anything actually calculated. But Reaper just--

" _Jesse._ " a voice said.

Jesse paid it no mind, too engulfed in fear as his arms were grabbed by clawed hands just inches away from Reaper's throat.

" _Jesse_." the voice said again.

Jesse's eyes opened with a start. Over the course of a second, he realized three things. One, that he'd been dreaming, two, that he was safe, and three, that his hands were reaching violently for Hanzo's neck, who, all things considered, looked pretty calm.

Hanzo's strong hands were wrapped expertly around Jesse's forearms, and the only thing stopping Jesse from having crushed his throat. Jesse yelped.

"It's alright." Hanzo said calmly as Jesse jerked away. "It's alright. Please."

Too numb to even process the horror, Jesse turned on his side and got to shaking feet. He didn't look back as he walked into the bathroom, turned on the shower head, and shoved his face directly into the spray of pure ice until he couldn't feel his eyes.

Jesse couldn't tell where the cold of the water started and his bone-chilling disgust ended.

There was a knock at the door, followed by the call of his name. Jesse ignored both, but Hanzo came in anyway. Jesse made sure the curtain was fully covering him.

"We should speak." Hanzo said.

Jesse heard the words, but he couldn't begin to fathom even opening his mouth to respond.

"It does not have to be this moment," Hanzo continued, "but I will ask you to say something."

Jesse groaned.

"I'm so sorry." he managed, muffled.

"I understand."

"No, you don't. I..."

Another burst of self-loathing twisted in Jesse's gut. He'd never attacked someone before not strictly out of necessity, or who he wasn't certain, at least at the time, deserved it.

"Jesse." said Hanzo. "I ask a lot of you in your companionship, but I cannot ask you to supersede the bounds of your own psychology. You are not the first person who has seen unimaginable horrors to react like this, years later. Please, believe me when I say I understand."

Beneath Hanzo's quietude and word choice, Jesse sensed the desperation. He sighed and sunk to a seat in the tub, but he didn't turn the water off or open the curtain.

"And if it is my safety you worry for, I can assure you I'm unscathed." Hanzo followed.

"What if you had been someone else?" Jesse replied, the words raw in his throat.

"Huh?"

"What if it weren't you I'd been in bed with? What if I'd been in bed with anyone from the vast majority of the population who don't learn how to disarm a man in twelve different ways before they learn how to read? I could a' snapped their neck just cause they tossed a little?"

"And perhaps if I'd been born in twentieth century Berlin to the right parents, I would have written Mein Kampf. What does it matter?"

Hanzo's comment was so far off from something that would have actually made Jesse feel better that Jesse almost had to stifle a short laugh of horror.

"What? You wouldn't of--Why would you say that?" Jesse asked.

"It's what I would have wanted said to me."

"Well, you're fucking crazy then."

Hanzo sighed. He didn't speak for a few moments, presumably trying to find words that he wasn't used to looking for.

"How may I assist you?" Hanzo asked.

Jesse turned the water off as the chill started to turn into a burn. From beyond the dividing curtain, he heard Hanzo sit down against the wall.

"I just...can't believe I..." Jesse stumbled, squeezing his eyes closed. "Had it in me."

"Had what in you?"

"Somethin' so violent in me, deep down."

Jesse could almost hear Hanzo twist his mouth in thought.

"I believe you may be misrepresenting the situation." said Hanzo.

"Gee wiz, where's this going?"

"You do not harbor some violent monster within your spirit that has a chance to escape when you're unconscious. Rather, when you attacked me, in the context of your own unconscious mind, it was rational. As you simply mistook me for someone actively sinister towards you."

"...What difference does that make?"

"I thought it might assuage you to know you are not a psychopath."

Jesse stared at the wall in front of him.

"Even so." he replied. "I don't want to be a shot in the dark."

"I can imagine. However, you have been given quite the chance to combat this."

"Combat this?"

"Sleep with you arm off."

Jesse thought to himself. His left arm was the only physical part of him that could potentially overpower Hanzo, as it held the power to crush a set of windpipes without even getting a dent. Jesse had slept curled up to a pistol for most of his life, and the thought of not having a limb to protect him from hypothetical invaders while he slept was a little terrifying.

"Could you be persuaded to come back to bed?" Hanzo asked, interrupting Jesse's thoughts.

Jesse said nothing. The last of the cold water drained, but he still felt the chill. However, all things considered, he did feel better.

"Please?" Hanzo followed.

"You go on ahead. I'll follow you in a few."

"Truthfully?"

"Promise."

"Very well."

Jesse heard Hanzo stand up and leave the bathroom. He stayed seated in the tub for a few minutes, eyes fixed on the tiling as he felt his heart rate slowly return to normal and the urge to drown himself in liquor leave.

When he did get out of the shower to return to bed, he dried himself off and wrapped the towel around his waist to cover the fact that the cold had temporarily left him with only about half as much genitalia as before. He walked back into the bed to find Hanzo snuggled up under the blankets, reading a book in the dim light.

Hanzo turned his head and lifted up a corner of the blankets. Jesse moved forward and slipped under them without hesitation. He nearly called out in surprise as Hanzo wrapped his arms around him.

"Tsumetai." Hanzo grumbled. "You are freezing."

Jesse buried his face into Hanzo's warm chest. It felt kind of backwards, to have had tried to attack Hanzo and to now be comforted by him, but it felt necessary, nonetheless.

"I'm sorry." Jesse muttered.

"I know."

"I'm sorry."

"It's alright."

"I'm sorry."

Jesse felt lips press into the top of his head. He closed his eyes.

"Have you given any thought to my suggestion?" Hanzo asked.

"Suggestion?"

"Removing your arm while sleeping with another person."

"Oh, that." Jesse answered. "I dunno. Makes me feel kinda prone not to have it. I know we're pretty safe right now, but a man worries."

"I can promise you that I have no intentions of allowing anything to harm either of us."

That was true. Suddenly, Jesse realized he felt safer in bed with Hanzo than probably anywhere else in the whole world.

"But if you are still resistant," Hanzo continued, "you could simply tie your hands together in a knot simple enough that you could easily undo, provided you were conscious."

That suggestion was more appealing.

"Guess I could give that a try. But I ain't so sure what to use."

Jesse was momentarily let go of as Hanzo reached across him to the nightstand. He returned with the silk tie he used to tie his hair.

"You can keep it, I have others." said Hanzo as he tied the silk around Jesse's wrists in a loose, simple binding.

Jesse tested it, feeling the rigid strength of the silk. He felt optimistic that although he could undo it now, that it would successfully thwart him if he wasn't residing in the authentic realm of reality where he was able to see and feel it.

After that, Jesse was re-enveloped into Hanzo's arms. They laid together until Hanzo spoke.

"Would you like to sleep?" he asked.

"Eventually, but reckon my mind won't calm down enough to for a while. But don't let me stop you."

"It's alright. I cannot sleep either."

"Oh."

Jesse felt a little guilty, but he got over it.

"Would you like to watch something?" asked Hanzo.

"Sure. What?"

"We could watch the second Godfather."

"That's a three hour movie."

"I am aware."

They ended up watching the whole thing. Halfway through, Jesse gave Hanzo a little appreciative glace. He was met with an eyeroll and a scoff.

Jesse kept his hands bound while they watched.


	7. Emmerich

"McCree?" a man's voice called.

Jesse had been on his way from dinner with Ana to the outdoor shooting range when he froze in his tracks, prompted by the sound of an unfamiliar voice. He turned to see a male omnic, dressed in the attire of either a noble peace prophet or a college student selling mushrooms in the corner of the arboretum. At a second glance, Jesse recognized him, although they had never met.

"Zenyatta." Jesse replied. "Fancy meeting you here."

"Yes, I've decided to stop by Gibraltar at the tail of every month to lead a meditation session."

"How 'bout that."

Jesse held immense respect for the omnic equality movement and the activists who risked their lives to fight for it. However, this did not stop him from praying to several gods that Zenyatta wasn't about to ask him if he was interested in meditation.

"Genji has spoken fondly of you." said Zenyatta.

"Really now?"

"He is impressed by your marksmanship and, what he called, roguish compassion."

"Was going for more 'devil may care', but I'll take what I can get."

"Do you know anything of me?"

"Genji's told me a little. You some kind of holy man?"

"Just a traveler. In search of purpose and meaning."

"Aren't we all."

A moment of silence passed as Zenyatta stared at Jesse as if he was waiting for him to say something else. Jesse used the time to try to figure out where exactly Zenyatta's eyes were.

"I understand you are well acquainted with Shimada Hanzo?" Zenyatta asked, innocently enough.

"Suppose so."

"Then there is something I wish to ask of you."

"And what would that be?"

Jesse had no idea where this was going. Jesse wasn't miffed, exactly, but he was certainly a tad skeptical.

"I have spent a significant amount of time with one Shimada, and I can say the arrangement was mutually beneficial." Zenyatta answered. "So I believe you will understand when I tell you of my interest in the other."

"Oh."

"He is plagued by the same doubt as his brother once was. I suspect I can help."

"And what do you want me to do about that?"

"I thought it might be better if you spoke to him. I understand he is wary of...those like me."

"He'll come around, though I doubt anytime in the next five years."

Zenyatta feel into a still silence. His face didn't move, but Jesse thought he looked like he was pondering something.

It was a little creepy.

"Deadlock." Zenyatta stated.

"Beg your pardon?"

"You were one of the founders, correct?"

Jesse raised an eyebrow.

"Reckon I was."

"Until you were nineteen?"

"Yeah. My time with Deadlock ain't something I'm pro--"

"They were never the same once you had left."

Jesse scratched the back of his head. He didn't know exactly where he was expecting this conversation to go, but it certainly wasn't here.

"What?" Jesse asked.

"Deadlock was never as competent after you were gone. Elizabeth Ashe failed to run it as efficiently without you, despite her protests."

Almost against his own volition, Jesse felt himself cock his hip to the side as a grin made its way to his face.

"I mean, it was probably for the best." he replied. "Deadlock weren't exactly out for the children."

"No. But you certainly did have your own way of aiding the natural chaos of life, between crime and law, without being particularly amoral, and I believe there is some merit to that."

"I mean, we certainly did cause some sh--"

Jesse cut himself off with a start as he realized just how buttered up he was getting.

"Well, ain't you a wise old queen." Jesse muttered, strangely endeared. He found himself impressed by the fact that Zenyatta had it in him to play dirty, and even more so that it had kind of worked.

"I have never been classified in such a way. Although I suppose, as you said, I will take what I can get." Zenyatta replied.

If Zenyatta had a mouth, it wasn't visible, yet Jesse could have sworn he saw him smile.

"Alright. You got me. I'll talk to him." Jesse said.

"Thank you, McCree."

"Yeah, well, don't thank me yet."

"I must go. I hope to see you around."

"Feeling's mutual."

Jesse stepped aside so that Zenyatta could go around him. Jesse knew he had been embarrassingly easy to convince, but in his justification, having Hanzo spend some time with Zenyatta seemed like a genuinely good idea. He suspected Hanzo would benefit from a mentor, and being around an omnic couldn't hurt his paranoia. And maybe it would make things easier between him and Genji, something that Jesse had been silently hoping for since day one.

"Peace be upon you." Zenyatta said, over his shoulder as he left.

Jesse went in the opposite direction, continuing himself on his way to the range. It was only about a minute away. Replaying his conversation with Zenyatta over in his mind, Jesse pulled out his gun and absentmindedly ran his eyes and hands over it to make sure everything was in order.

His eyes widened when he found a tiny scratch, maybe a millimeter deep against the tip of the barrel.

"Who hurt you, baby girl?" Jesse mumbled to Peacekeeper as he ran his finger over the mark, seeing if it would smear away.

It didn't. Jesse put his gun back into his holster, grumbling as he pulled his gloves on. However, when he got to the clearing before the range, he quickly perked up, spotting Hanzo in the distance. Jesse did his best not to jog fifty feet up to him, having no intentions of getting likened to a golden retriever again.

Hanzo turned at the sound of Jesse's feet. When he noticed who it was, Hanzo waved him over.

"Howdy." Jesse said once he was in range.

"Hello."

Hanzo looked friendly enough, having changed his clothes from the set that had gotten dirty during the morning's bomb investigation and into something more casual, his standard dark robes. They hadn't agreed to meet today, so seeing him made for a nice surprise.

"You wanna practice together?" Jesse asked. "Got a fancy new technique I wanted to try."

Hanzo smiled.

They ended up practicing together for about an hour in what was almost uneventfully standard for them, save for the part where Jesse nearly tripped off the side of the cliff while trying to perform a new 'fan the hammer, roll, fan the hammer' maneuver."

"Whoops." Jesse said, steadying himself as he avoided certain death.

After their energy was spent, they retreated to the staircase beside the range, tucked into the side staircase for some privacy but still technically outdoors so they could have some air. Jesse eyed the rocks below the cliff side, momentarily transfixed on the blue and white crash of water against sharp stone.

"Hey, it's puff puff pass, not four puffs and a drink." Jesse said, coming back to his thoughts.

"My apologies." Hanzo replied, putting his water bottle back on the ground.

Jesse didn't answer, instead allowing himself to enjoy the silence and the way the breeze toyed with the chunk of hair that laid over Hanzo's forehead. He found himself staring at Hanzo's face, his brown eyes and the cute little bump on his nose, long enough to warrant an awkward cough and a turn of his head when Hanzo caught him.

Hanzo let Jesse get away with a lot, but Jesse wasn't about to push things.

"You wanna do something?" Jesse asked.

"Yes, actually. I was hoping to see you tonight."

Jesse was a little confused. Hanzo usually preferred to space their encounters out with a few days in between.

"I'm leaving for Numbani tomorrow." Hanzo quickly followed. That explained it.

"When are you getting back?"

"Two weeks. The day before we all go to Guatemala."

Jesse was a little sad that he wouldn't get to see Hanzo for half a month, but he supposed it wasn't too bad, all things considered.

"That can be arranged." Jesse replied.

"Would you care to join me right now?" asked Hanzo, getting to his feet, a gloved hand outstretched.

Jesse let himself smile, nice and slow as he took Hanzo's hand in his own. Out of habit, he bested his temptation to let his fingers stay with Hanzo's after he'd gotten to his feet. Hanzo took off, and Jesse followed.

"What'd ya wanna do?" Jesse asked as they walked, turning towards a different staircase, one indoors. "Could I talk you into lying on the floor and listening to some plucky banjo music?"

"Absolutely not. I want to lie on the floor and listen to something with shamisen."

Jesse opened and closed his mouth a few times. Not wanting to come off as a bigot, he violently suppressed the urge to voice his opinion that out of every place in the world, Japan had the worst history with good music.

"Can we settle with steel guitar?"

"No, we may not. I'm regretful to be the one to tell you, but out of everywhere on the planet, the Southern United States have the most pitiful history with good music."

"Bigot."

Jesse relished the face that Hanzo gave as they climbed up the stairs to the floor of agents’ quarters. Hanzo lagged a foot or two behind, just like he always did up a staircase, for reasons that Jesse didn't understand.

"We could watch a movie." Jesse said.

"Perhaps. What title or genre currently interests you?"

"I was thinking something with aliens. And not one a' those dippy peace flicks. I'm talking full scale invasion."

"I'm not watching Independence Day with you again."

"I never said Independence Day."

"It doesn't matter. Those movies are all the same color of absurd."

"They ain't that bad." Jesse replied, less out of genuine defense and more out of a desire to hear the punchline.

"Aliens with hyper advanced space travel and exponentially more developed technology than us attack? And we _win_? I suppose you'd also enjoy my person film; Three Cro Magnons With a Sharp Stick Take on the Entire Chinese Military."

"And?"

"And what?"

"Do they win? I'll watch it if they win."

Hanzo scoffed out a laugh, and the conversation lulled naturally. For whatever reason, Jesse's brain got stuck on Hanzo's criticism, a suspicion arising in him that it was important, somehow.

However, he gave trying to figure out what quickly, especially when Hanzo pulled him to a stop, right at the second to last flight of zigzagging stairs before their destination.

"What is--" Jesse started, only to be cut off as two hands touched his sides. Hanzo quickly looked around, got on his toes, and gifted Jesse with a dry, quick press of his lips and scrape of his goatee.

It was short and chaste, but Jesse's exhale was sharp when Hanzo pulled away with a tiny pop.

Jesse stared, having completely forgotten what they had been discussion. Hanzo looked down.

"Well then." Jesse said, desperately hoping his smile was closer to casually flirtatious than 'fool in love'.

"Shut up." Hanzo replied, taking Jesse by the arm and tugging him up the last flight of stairs to his room.

"What was that for?"

"Don't think about it."

' _Stop what you're doing and get your asses to the debriefing room._ '

There was a mutual flurry of motion as they both rushed to break away from each other. Slightly pink, Jesse scanned his surroundings for a moment before realizing that Morrison wasn't actually there, or specifically speaking to them.

' _I'm ordering an extra meeting. You all have five minutes_.'

"Good timing." Jesse said, irritated but not surprised to be called in by Morrison during break time.

"Exceptionally."

"You got the eyedrops?"

Hanzo nodded and pulled out a little vial from his pouch as they turned in direction of the breakroom. Jesse did his best to shake the kiss from his mind and stop staring again, a task which had become more and more difficult over the last hour.

"I'm assuming I will be expecting you after this meeting?" Hanzo asked.

"Suppose I might wander in..." Jesse replied, quickly scanning his surrounds to make sure they weren't about to run into someone before landing a pinch on Hanzo's butt. Hanzo replied by stepping on his toes.

It was only then that Jesse realized he had forgotten to bring up Zenyatta, although he supposed that he'd get another chance today to do it. Jesse hoped, for several reasons, that Morrison wouldn't be late to his own meeting again.

 

~~~~

 

Ten minutes later, Morrison was late to his own meeting again. When Jesse and Hanzo had arrived to the debriefing room, Genji had beckoned them over, bent on showing them some embarrassing memories of Hanzo he'd apparently dug up while cleaning. On the other side of the table, Winston, Ana, Echo, Hana, and Lena stood, emerged in a conversation too quiet for Jesse to pick up on.

"This was at my friend Takahashi-san's graduation party." Genji explained, thrusting a photo in Jesse's face. "My brother is the one in the corner, by himself."

Jesse eyed the photo. It pictured about twenty or thirty Japanese teenagers attending what was very obviously a late high school or college party. Seated in the far corner of the couch, Jesse recognized Hanzo's face on a long-haired, handsome young man with a book balanced in his lap, a set of clothing far more traditional that the others, and a look of disgust aimed at those around him.

"Genji forced me to attend." Hanzo explained when Jesse eyed him with confusion.

"And here's another beloved image from that night." Genji said, pulling up the next photo. "I call this one ' _the reluctant Sasquatch'_."

The photo was a group shot of most of the party goers. At first, Jesse didn't understand what the big deal was until he saw Hanzo, far off in the back, walking away with a uncomfortable gaze over his shoulder.

Hanzo scoffed. Jesse snorted. While this was clearly a plot of Genji's to get his brother's attention, it was at the very least, entertaining.

"Genji, is that you?" Angela asked.

"Hmm?"

"Right there."

Angela pointed at a spot on the photo. Jesse followed her finger to see a boy in a snapback hat nearly smushing his face against the table. Just enough of his features could be seen to notice that he had one eye open and the other closed in the most blatant declaration of _I'm trashed_ that Jesse had ever seen.

"No." Genji lied.

"Yeah, and that's powdered sugar under your nose." said Jesse, eyeing the contents of the table a little closer.

"We were very rich." Genji replied, voice dead.

Angela clicked her tongue dismissively. Jesse turned to Hanzo.

"Hey Hanz, you got any embarrassing stories 'bout Genji?" he asked.

"Considering he's been providing material his entire life, yes." Hanzo answered. "However, I feel no need to share, given that I'm not a frivolous gossip."

"Please?" Angela asked.

"I am not a good storyteller."

Everyone but Genji pouted. Hanzo's pupils were wide as he looked down, hopefully in genuine consideration. He sighed.

"Very well." said Hanzo, a few seconds later. "I have one regarding a Theoretical Physics course."

Jesse turned his attention to Hanzo, already completely invested. Genji and Angela did the same.

"Genji made it to Theoretical Physics?" asked Angela.

"Technically, yes." Hanzo answered. "When my brother and I were attending college, Genji coasted through mathematics by taking the same classes as I did and finding new and intricate ways to cheat."

"Sometimes I would wear two sets of contact lenses, one with information holographically carved into the outer." Genji boasted.

"So one day," Hanzo continued, visually struggling to keep the premature smile off his face, "I was making a pointless attempt to help him study for our exam on eleventh dimensional string theory--"

"I don't know where he's going with this." Genji cut in. Jesse's head spun.

"Quiet." Hanzo scolded. "I'll lose my place. We were studying. Genji spent four hours without understanding anything I was explaining to him, no matter how thorough I was. Furthermore--"

Hanzo cut himself off with a snort.

"Furthermore," Hanzo quickly followed, "he was expressing psychological discomfort. I spent twenty minutes trying to find the source of his dismay, until finally, I realized that he was--"

Hanzo cut himself off with a choked laugh. He was nearly wheezing, holding back his laughter so aggressively that he had to hunch over with a hand on his knee to support himself.

"He was trying to _visually conceptualize an eleventh dimensional object._ " Hanzo finished, bursting into a climax of uncomposed laughter. In Jesse's peripheral vision, almost everyone in the room who wasn't a part of the conversation shoot a little confused glance towards Hanzo.

Jesse initially failed to laugh at the punch line, too busy desperately trying and failing to imagine what an eleventh dimensional object would look like.

"What?" Angela asked, somewhere between polite and confused, just a second before Jesse snorted and burst into a chuckle to match Hanzo's as the joke and the irony finally hit him. High off of laughter, Jesse had to grab for balance.

"See, I told ya'll he was hilarious." Jesse snickered to a silent crowd, hand on Hanzo's shoulder.

"Uh." Angela said.

"Hm." Genji replied.

"I, uh, I heard talk of M-theory?" Winston asked, lumbering over.

Hanzo perked with interest.

"Not exactly, but that can be arranged." Hanzo replied, turning his head towards Winston.

Winston and Hanzo immediately launched into a full scale, animated conversation that consisted of more letters per second than a professional auctioneer could utter.

"I suppose they will be at this for a while." Genji said to everyone else.

Angela said something in response, but Jesse didn't hear, opting to let himself get lost in his thoughts instead of trying to make sense of the conversations happening at either side of his ear. Jesse actually enjoyed indulging in the content of his unbridled thought process, at least in small doses. He snuck a peak at Hanzo, wild eyes and mouth moving quickly, intrigued by the passion on his face.

"...thinking about something, Jesse." Genji's voice cut in. Jesse's ears perked at the sound of his name.

"What? Huh?" he stuttered.

"What is on your mind? It seems encompassing."

Jesse replayed his most recent thoughts in his head so that he could answer truthfully.

"I was wondering if anyone's ever been blind and scared of the dark." Jesse answered.

Genji cocked his head to the side, his visor gleaming. Angela made a face of disgust. To Jesse's luck, they were unable to ask any follow up questions as Hanzo reached out and slipped a strong finger through Jesse's belt loop, yanking him a few inches to the right until their hips brushed against each other.

Angela and Genji both gave looks of confusion. Jesse stifled the flush threatening to grow on his face as he shrugged at both of them, feigning nonchalant. Neither Hanzo or Winston gave any indication that it was out of the ordinary, seemingly too engrossed in their conversation to notice. Jesse snuck in a listen, giving them a second try.

"...am aware that more scientists seem to prefer the notion that the observable state of the collapse is the single and only authentic outcome." Hanzo said. "However, I find the idea that all possible collapses occur, simply spanning across other, unobservable universes to be more intuitive. Although I do understand that in the context of the cosmos, intuitive does not mean correct."

Winston laughed a sensible chuckle.

"I suppose I wouldn't shake my fist at you." Winston replied. "But have you considered--"

Jesse gave up. He tried listening in on the new conversation between Genji and Angela, but found it be an even worse discussion, one regarding an episode of daytime TV.

"What do you think, McCree?" Hanzo asked before Jesse could retreat back into his own mind.

Jesse darted his eyes between Winston and Hanzo in confusion. Winston seemed equally puzzled by the implications Hanzo's question.

"Uh, what are y'all talking about?" Jesse asked. In the side of his eye, Jesse saw Angela leave for the water cooler, and Genji joined their conversation.

"Our apparently varying interpretations of wave function collapse." Winston answered.

"...Oh. What's the variant?"

"Winston believes--" Hanzo started before abruptly changing his expression. "My apologies. I've proceeded myself. Do you know what quantum randomness is?"

Jesse did not know what quantum randomness was.

"It's simple." Winston said, adjusting his glasses. "It's the theory--"

"--Fact." Hanzo cut in.

"--It's the factual theory that subatomic partials are not specially defined unless reality necessitates that they be defined."

Jesse blinked. He had an easier time with big words than most people gave him credit for, half from preexisting knowledge and half from his quick ability to learn them from context they were used. However, that didn't change the fact that the last science class he'd taken was seventh grade geology, a course which was colloquially known as Nap Time.

"It is easier to grasp than it may sound." Hanzo said, eyes soft. "Do you know what a subatomic particle is?"

"Can't say that I do."

"Just think of it like a very small piece of...something. Smaller than an atom, smaller than you could see. The directional paths of this partial dictate all macro--all the movement you can see."

"Alright."

"Let us say you are observing a particle. Surrounding it, there are an infinite number of directional paths it could potentially go. Quantum randomness is the factual theory that the particle's movements are dictated by randomness, rather than a predetermined outcome."

"Oh, that makes sense." Jesse replied.

"It does?" Genji asked. "I got nothing from that."

Jesse could tell that Hanzo's explanation was an oversimplification, but that was probably for the best.

"Wait." Jesse followed, suddenly struck with an idea.

"What?"

"So, I've, uh, heard a lotta big names toss around the term 'multiverse theory', and though I don't understand nothing about it, I was just thinking, what if..."

Jesse suddenly trailed off at he lost his nerve, not wanting to sound like an idiot.

"No, say it." Hanzo replied. His eyes were so eager that Jesse couldn't help but decide it was worth the risk.

"What if this--subatomic particle does end up goin' in every direction, but in a different universe? Like it goes down in one, and kinda to the left in another, or something."

Hanzo's eyes lit up.

"That is what we were discussing!" he replied, giving Jesse a smile that could only be described as proud. "Thank you for siding with me, McCree. As I said, it's intuitive!"

To the side, Winston scratched his chin in a gesture of obvious confusion, his gaze turned towards Jesse.

"What?" Jesse asked.

"Nothing. I'd just always assumed you were an idiot." Winston answered.

Jesse twisted his mouth to the side in uncertainty. It took Winston about ten seconds to widen his eyes and start stammering apologetically.

"Wait--wait, that came out wrong." Winston stuttered.

"It's alright." Jesse said, truthfully. "Most people tend to think that. Lets me get away with murder."

"No, it's not you." Winston lied. "I find most people to be idiots. There is nothing specific about you that--

"It's f--."

"No no no, that sounded worse. I didn't mean for that to come across as a point of arrogance. I don't think poorly of people who I think are idiots--"

"Look, Winston, I swear it's alright." Jesse interrupted. "And if it's any consolation to you, I don't ever remember what the hell we were talking about."

" _I don't either._ " Hanzo whispered, right in Jesse's ear.

Whatever Winston was about to say to Jesse was interrupted by Morrison finally entering the room.

" _Jesse,_ _why is this man a gorilla?"_ Hanzo followed privately as Jesse quickly squeezed in another eyedrop. The chatter died down.

"Everyone ready?" Morrison said, voice sharp as he took his place at the head of the table.

Everyone grumbled and sat down.

"Alright. Two weeks from now, you all have a very important assignment--"

Jesse stopped listening, incredibly bored. Before Morrison could see him, he pulled his phone out and hit the record button so that he could listen to the debriefing in his quarters later at three times speed.

"Are there any other announcements?" Genji asked a minute later when Morrison was done.

"No."

"Wait, that's it? You just called us in here to say that?" asked Angela. "We're not even on call."

Morrison squinted at the tablet in front of him.

"Fine." he grunted. "Here's another announcement. We're running low on cups for the water cooler, so we're going to have to start reusing them. Write your names on your cups."

"This is so sad." Hana said, shaking her head. "Echo, play Despacito."

"I didn't know you liked classical music." Echo replied, pulling out her phone.

Despacito began to play, very quietly.

"Ok, meeting's over. You're free to go." said Morrison. "Go mingle. Or whatever it is you do. I'm going to bed."

' _It is eight thirty._ ' Ana sent Jesse. Jesse did his best to make his choked laugh pass as a cough.

Everyone slowly got out of their chairs and dispersed. Hanzo gave Jesse a little look before he took off that Jesse read as 'follow me, but give me a two minute head start.'

Mouth soft, Jesse wandered over to the water cooler. He happily pretending to be looking for a cup, mind filled with thoughts that were far from appropriate to have at work. He nearly jumped when he noticed Hana was standing right beside him.

"Oh, hey." Jesse greeted.

"Do me a favor." Hana ordered.

"Uh."

Hana pulled out her wallet, a large pink thing, overflowing with huge bills and shiny credit cards.

"I'm going to North America next week and I thought it would be nice if I had some American money." she said. "Would you be willing to exchange with me?"

"Sure." Jesse replied, opening his wallet to find some some lint, a fake ID, and a few stray coins.

Jesse winced.

"You know, I've been meaning to say." Jesse said as he pulled out several pennies from his wallet. "I know I was a bit skeptical when you bought that charcoal facial scrub, but I reckon it paid off. You look good."

"You noticed!" Hana replied, clapping her hands. "No one else has."

"They will. Oh, and here's some dollar coins." Jesse followed, placing twenty pennies into her outstretched hand.

"These say 'one cent'."

"Cent is another name for dollar. Like pound and squid. Or whatever the hell the English have."

"Alright." Hana replied, tucking the coins away. She dug into her own wallet. "Let's see. Twenty dollars, that should come out to about forty-thousand won."

Hana pulled out several South Korean bills and placed them into Jesse's hand. Jesse was well aware that even an authentic twenty dollars came out to only twenty-thousand won, however, he had no intentions of correcting her.

"Thank you, D.Va." Jesse said, happily slipping the money into the pocket of his knock-off oxford flannel shirt. "Always a pleasure doing business with you."

"Glad to hear it, because I'm not finished yet."

"Huh?"

Hana pulled out a pink rectangle of gum from her pocket and popped it in her mouth.

"I want you to join me on a stream." she said. "I had an idea for a segment and I need your help."

"Uh, I don't think--"

"And bring Hanzo."

"There's no way--"

"Genji's already agreed. It'll be fun."

Jesse sighed at Hana's expecting eyes. He wasn't exactly thrilled to burst her bubble, but he supposed it was necessary.

"Look, missy, I'm a convicted felon." he replied. "You can't put my face on TV."

"What if I clear your charges?"

"W--hwat?"

"What if I get your bounty cleared? Then will you join?"

Jesse blinked.

"If you get the six million dollars off my ass that scores me two new assassination attempts every time I try to visit back home?" he asked, words slow. "Yeah. I'll do your little Twitch thing."

"And you'll bring Hanzo?"

"I'll bring the goddamn Dalai Lama."

"Perfect. Just give me a few weeks"

With that, Hana was off, darting away to catch up Lucio and Echo. Jesse shook his head.

 

~~~~

 

"Did you really just invite me over so that I could watch you do yoga?" Jesse asked, ten minutes later.

"I invited you over to do yoga with me." Hanzo said. "You are the one who has insisted on staring."

"I'm just wondering why you do this to your body."

Hanzo arched into his back bend, making upside-down eye contact. This was the seventh time Jesse had been attempted to be coaxed into yoga or meditation, after Hanzo's sixth time swearing to never do it again for both their sakes. Jesse wasn't really into all the weird chakra stuff, given that he wasn't a pregnant woman or gay man.

"It is good for me." Hanzo answered.

"It's so boring."

With remarkable fluidity, Hanzo flipped around and put both hands on the mat, pushing his body forwards to support his entire weight on his palms with one foot straight behind him and the other somehow tucked against his elbow, just to be a dick.

"I could do that." Jesse lied.

Hanzo got off the mat and gestured with his hand. Jesse cracked his knuckles, walked over to the mat, got on his hands and knees, and immediately toppled after attempting to transfer all of his weight onto his hands.

"I see." Hanzo said, unimpressed, as he nudged Jesse's fallen body off the mat with his foot.

"I could do it if I warmed up a little."

"Uh huh."

"What's the point of this stuff, anyway? Washing out the thetans?"

Hanzo chuckled as he re-entered the mat on his hands and knees. He made his spine parallel with the floor, putting himself an attractive pose that had Jesse's mind wandering back to yesterday night. A little strand of hair from Hanzo's ponytail come undone, falling into his eyes.

Jesse took his hat off his back and put it in his lap.

"I gotta thought." Jesse stated, eyes on Hanzo's ponytail.

"Dangerous."

"Don't you ever get worried about having long hair? Being a soldier and all."

Hanzo repositioned his weight, just a tad as he tossed his head forward, bringing his hair into his eyes. It had gotten a few inches longer since Jesse had met him, now coming comfortably to his shoulders when down.

"Grasp it." Hanzo said, flipping his ponytail back.

"Huh?"

"Try to grab my hair."

Jesse shrugged before reaching out and getting a hold around Hanzo's ponytail. He was getting ready to pull, not enough to hurt but enough to lead Hanzo's head up for a mock take down, when he found himself quickly with his back flat on the floor.

"How'd you do that?" Jesse asked, getting back to his sitting position as Hanzo reentered the mat once again.

"You gave me your arm." Hanzo explained.

"Where do you learn this stuff, anyway?"

"A Buddhist monk from Brazil taught me that."

Hanzo delivered his comment with a touch of silent amusement, which Jesse fully reciprocated. However, for whatever reason, the line also served to remind Jesse of his earlier promise.

"Speaking of...that." Jesse started. "I've been wondering. What's your take on Zenyatta?"

Hanzo's stance shifted, ever so slightly. If he was confused as to why Jesse brought it up so suddenly, he didn't voice it.

"He brought my brother peace, although that is all I can say I appreciate about him." Hanzo answered. Jesse raised an eyebrow.

"What do you mean by that?"

"He's a bohemian."

"Which one?"

"Both of them. I tolerate it."

This wasn't going great, but it was going about as well as Jesse had expected it too.

"You ever consider studying with him?" Jesse asked, innocent enough. Hanzo turned his skeptical face towards him, obviously not buying it.

"What is prompting this?"

"Ran into him in the hallway. Reckon he might be able to help you."

"Help me with what?"

"Couple things. Look, I don't know. I just don't see how giving him a try could hurt."

Hanzo sighed. He brought a finger to the back of his neck with a pained expression.

"A piece of metal shoved under my brain is enough for one day." he answered.

"Fair 'nuff."

The conversation didn't really feel over, but Jesse let the subject drop for the moment. Jesse wasn't above pushing people, but he'd learned a long time ago that too much at a time made people double down. At the very least, he could tell that Hanzo wasn't angry, considering the way he lowered himself onto his stomach, bringing his face and hands forward onto the mat while he elevated his butt.

"That looks like sex." Jesse observed.

"How perceptive of you, Jesse-san." Hanzo replied with as much condescension as he could muster.

"Can't help but feel like I'm being toyed with."

"I would not be so lowbrow."

"You sure?"

"Yes. You are simply single minded." Hanzo replied, tilting up his tailbone and sliding his knees just a little farther apart.

Jesse felt like he was being sent mixed messages. He bit his lip as his mouth ran dry.

"You want help?" Jesse asked.

"Help?"

"Yeah. Let me..."

Jesse trailed off as he got to his knees, right behind Hanzo. He'd just gotten his hands on Hanzo's hips when Hanzo pulled away lazily, sliding himself forward and out of reach.

"I think I can manage." said Hanzo, shooting Jesse a half-lidded stare over his shoulder.

Jesse's core burned with both intrigue and frustration. He grabbed a swig from Hanzo's water bottle.

"You're an ass." Jesse said, wiping water from his mouth.

Hanzo rolled on his back, eyes fixed on Jesse.

"Perhaps you are just unappreciative of my practices." Hanzo replied, scooting his hips up in a way that both arched his back heavily against the mat and tugged the fabric of his exercise pants further down his hips. "I've found it to have many mental and physical health benefits."

"And I support your right to find that."

Hanzo looked amused as he finished on his back, momentarily twisting himself into a pretzel that made Jesse's knees hurt.

"I've finished." Hanzo announced after a minute, getting off the mat. 

Jesse watched as Hanzo rolled up the mat and took off for his bedroom, presumably to change. Hanzo's clothing was loose, but Jesse still managed to make out the shape of him underneath it as it shifted against him in his stride. Jesse was suspicious of Hanzo's intentions, but not quite enough to jump him right there on the floor.

"Join me." Hanzo said a moment later, calling from out of sight.

Jesse followed. When he got to Hanzo's bedroom door, he found it closed, and when he opened it, he found Hanzo sitting on his bed, back into the black yukata he had been wearing earlier, a generous splash of his chest uncovered.

"What can I do you for?" Jesse asked.

"Lie with me."

Jesse quickly darted his eyes down to the pelvis of his jeans, trying to gauge how obvious the aggressive erection he was about to pop was going to be. Thinking quickly, he stepped out of his socks and got on the bed, on his side, to the left of Hanzo.

"In a literal sense, or...?" Jesse trailed off, reaching out to touch Hanzo's face. Hanzo turned his back to Jesse before Jesse could reach it.

"Yes." Hanzo replied, pushing his butt into Jesse's pelvis. "I just want to take a nap."

Jesse bit back a whimper, desperately clinging to his dignity.

"Anybody ever told you what happens when you mess with the bull?" he asked.

"Yes. So far, I will say, the bull has been tamer than anticipated."

Jesse's brain clicked with certainty. He snaked a hand over Hanzo's hips, sighing in admiration as he traced up the shape of Hanzo's waist. He felt Hanzo's back twist into a lazy arch.

"Maybe 'the bull' is more sophisticated than you seem to think he is."

"No, that could not be right." Hanzo replied, shaking his head. His ponytail tickled Jesse's chin, and Jesse momentarily stopped rubbing his hand down Hanzo's to pull the end of his tie, freeing his hair. Hanzo brushed some of it aside, giving Jesse a good surface of neck to suck on.

"You're a goddamn tease." Jesse mumbled, pressing his face under Hanzo's ear.

"I was simply trying to capture your interest."

"You were tryin' to kill me."

"Some patience would do you well."

"Careful what you wish for." Jesse replied, moving his flesh hand just below the tie of Hanzo's yukata.

"And why should I be?"

"I dunno, somebody might be fucking you into the mattress later and then get real patient."

Hanzo shivered under Jesse's hands, and Jesse felt something burn through him, followed by the sudden thought of pushing Hanzo onto his stomach and pinning his hands down.

Jesse cleared his head, a little guilty.

They'd never done anything particularly kinky. There had been loads of dirty talk, and sometimes when Hanzo was the one on top Jesse ended up edged until he was desperate and begging for it, but other than that, they might as well have been eating a few vanilla sundaes.

Jesse pulled away a few inches. Hanzo made a noise of question.

"Hey listen, we've uh, been doing this for a while," Jesse stammered, trying to find the words, "and please don't think I'm asking this ‘cause I'm bored, but ...uh..."

"What?"

"What do you like?"

Hanzo kept his body flush against Jesse's but shifted his head so that they could look at each other.

"I don't understand what you mean." Hanzo replied.

"You know, what gets you off?"

Hanzo blinked.

"Verbal, visual, and physical stimulation. Where are you going with this?"

Jesse groaned, cursing himself for expecting Hanzo to not be a fucking tool.

"You really need me to spell this out?" Jesse asked.

"Apparently."

"Fine. Fine. What do you like? What makes you burn dirty? You like getting tied up, or pain, or--"

Hanzo's eyebrows raised violently.

"Kinks." Hanzo said.

"Yeah. Do you got any?"

"Do I have any."

"Sure is what I asked."

Hanzo stared straight up at the ceiling for a solid twenty seconds. Jesse twiddled his thumbs.

"I have a few fixations, if that is what you wish to know." Hanzo finally replied.

"You gonna tell me what they are?"

"Why must I share first? I think, as this is your idea, you should go first."

The last bit of nerve Jesse still possessed was lost instantaneously as the spot light came onto him. He didn't want to go first.

"Sure. I'll tell you." Jesse replied. "But outta sheer curiosity, would you mind telling me how--uh--"

"How?"

"How--weird. Yours are."

"No. That would defeat the purpose of not going first."

Jesse sighed.

"Spit it out." Hanzo followed.

"Fine. Fine. I got a few."

"Such as?"

Jesse thought for a minute to grab something classic enough to not make him look like a total pervert on the off chance that Hanzo was white bread.

"I like to suck on stuff." he answered.

"I've been aware. What else?"

"I like to--be kinda controlling."

Hanzo raised an eyebrow.

"Controlling?"

"Overpower. Domin--"

"I know what it means."

Jesse turned all the way on his back and joined Hanzo in his dead gaze at the ceiling.

"What else?" Hanzo asked.

"I usually enjoy trying new things, long as they ain't too strange and 'specially if the other person's into it."

"What do you quantify as 'too strange'?"

"I don't know. Shittin' on each other?"

Hanzo was silent. Jesse felt a tiny worry he might have offended him.

"I mean, if you're into that," he followed, "I don't give a damn, I'm just saying I don't think I--"

"I'm not a coprophiliac."

" _Look at me and my big boy words._ " Jesse muttered. He felt fingers on his chin as Hanzo turned his head to give him a glare.

"You are incorrigible."

"Hey, I told you mine. Now tell me yours."

Hanzo turned his head back towards the ceiling. He spent another twenty seconds in dead silence.

"You don't gotta tell me about the anything you're taking to the grave." Jesse said, breaking the silence. "Just something simple."

"Do you have fixations you are taking to the grave?"

"I plan on it."

Another moment of silence went by. Hanzo coughed.

"I have--a few interests." Hanzo said. "I tend to enjoy a wide variety of fantasies, provided, as you stated before, the enjoyment of the other party."

"So you're open minded?"

"Perhaps."

Hanzo didn't say anything more. Jesse couldn't help but feel that he'd dodged the question.

"Ok." said Jesse. "But what gets you off? When you're alone?"

Hanzo narrowed his eyes.

"Nothing I would be willing to try." he answered.

Feeling his eyebrow raise with interest, Jesse's curiosity peaked. It wasn't usually what he started with when meeting new people, but he was always curious to know what got other humans off.

"You wanna tell me anyway?" he asked.

"You wish to know? Simply for the sake of knowing?"

"Well, yeah."

Jesse was silent as he felt Hanzo readjust himself into a more comfortable position.

"I will tell you the theme of a recurring fantasy." Hanzo said. "But please, I ask that you don't get any ideas."

"Alright. Just tell me."

Hanzo sighed.

"Sometimes, when I am alone," he started, "I allow myself to focus on the thought of--

Hanzo cut himself off. Jesse frowned, feeling the drop of an anti-climax.

"What?" Jesse asked.

"You turned your phone off, correct?"

"Yeah, course."

Hanzo fell silent again. Jesse reached into his pocket to make sure his phone really was off, which it was. He'd made a habit of turning it off anytime he was within twenty feet of both Hanzo and a bed.

"So, you're alone." Jesse said, breaking the silence. "And you're allowing yourself to focus on the thought of..."

"...submitting myself--to another." Hanzo answered.

Jesse got some ideas.

"Can't say I'm surprised." he replied, considering things.

"You guessed this?"

"Bureaucrats and heirs like to be a little humbled, in my expertise."

"Really. How many heirs with three master's degrees have you disappointed?"

Jesse betrayed his attempt to look hurt with a chuckle. However, a different interest quickly took over his mind.

"So, uh..." Jesse started.

"What?"

"What kinda submitted? Physically, or--"

"I derive pleasure from being psychologically degraded."

Jesse's mind's eye flashed with a few short scenarios. He wondered if Hanzo liked getting spanked.

"I could do that for you." Jesse said, breath a little shallow. "Psychologically degrade you."

"Absolutely not." Hanzo replied, body stiffening.

"Why?"

"Because it would be psychologically degrading."

"...Point taken."

Hanzo went silent. It was the first time he'd ever expressed shame at the thought of a specific sexual act, although Jesse suspected it was more personal than cultural. When Jesse looked over Hanzo's shoulder to catch a glimpse of his face, he saw that Hanzo seemed to be pondering something.

"I don't think I could." Hanzo said. "Ironically enough, the shame that makes the thought so appealing is also what makes me feel I could not handle the expirience."

"Hey, I get that. And I think you're making the right choice for yourself for the time being. But, uh..."

"...But?"

"But someday--and I ain't saying it gotta be with me--but someday, I think you should let somebody do to you what you want to be done."

Jesse narrowed his eyes, choosing his words carefully before he continued.

"Cause I think that if you do that, you're gonna come. Harder than you ever have before." Jesse finished. "And I think you deserve that."

Hanzo was silent as he seemed to, at the very least, properly evaluate what Jesse was saying

"I suppose I may have more life ahead of me than I once thought." Hanzo replied. "Although I cannot say when I will be ready to be the center of attention."

"I understand."

The conversation lulled for a few moments. Jesse could tell from Hanzo's body language that he was thinking about something.

"Tell me a fantasy you have." Hanzo said, suddenly enough to be starling. "One that does not involve power dynamics."

Jesse thought to himself for a moment. He ran his eyes down Hanzo's yukata with interest.

"I like the thought of, uh, doing it with clothes on." Jesse admitted.

"Oh?" Hanzo asked.

"Makes me feel like I'm doing something I ain't supposed to be doing, if you catch my drift."

It might have been Jesse's imagination, but he thought he could feel Hanzo's butt push a little into his pelvis again. With his flesh arm, Jesse laid a hand over Hanzo's hip.

"Tell me more about this fantasy." Hanzo ordered. "You have captured my attention."

"How much detail were you looking for?"

"I suppose I could handle some immersion."

"Not sure where to start." Jesse admitted.

"Are you by yourself? Where are you situated?"

"Situated with you. I like to think about us going to the debriefing room, right before a meeting."

Under his hands, Jesse felt a little shudder go through Hanzo's spine. In Jesse's own body, a wave of blood rush under his belt, and considering the distance between them, he had no doubt that Hanzo had felt it.

"Can't decide which I like better, though." Jesse followed. "That I'm hesitant, or you are."

Hanzo was still and silent for a few long seconds, presumably in thought. Jesse touched Hanzo's dark garment under his flesh set of fingers, tantalized by the quality and silky feel.

"I cannot determine a preference, either." Hanzo replied. "You. No, me. You."

"Is that your final answer?"

"Yes."

Jesse thought to himself for a moment, conceptualizing a more detailed outline for the fantasy. He was pretty familiar with the scenario, having indulged himself on it a few times, but he needed a little more clarity if he was going to describe it with words.

"Alright, seems fitting enough. Reckon I'd be a little nervous, meeting room and all. But you know what?"

"What?"

Jesse gulped. He nuzzled his mouth against Hanzo's ear, nipping the top of it just enough to show his interest.

"Bet you'd snap me out of it real quick." he answered, slow and warm.

Jesse had learned a long time ago that his voice could do things to people, and he had no intentions of not using that to his advantage.

"How would I do so?"

"If you really wanted something from me, you could always just grab it."

To enunciate himself, Jesse pushed his pelvis against Hanzo's ass. Hanzo made a quiet little noise, barely louder than a scoff but so telling that it sent another spark through Jesse's system.

"And?" Hanzo asked. Though it was subtle, Jesse heard a roughness in his voice, the kind that only got there when he was horny.

"Maybe push me down in one of those chairs."

Hanzo sighed again, louder this time. Jesse dug his fingers into Hanzo's hip with a little more meaning, pulling him close. An electric thrill started to pulse through Jesse's mind and body, sparked by the thought of unfamiliar but intriguing territory.

"You take a seat in my lap, sugar, and I'm gone with reason. Spite what I might say, I'd betray myself in the time it takes you to notice how happy I am to see you."

Jesse momentarily paused his fantasy as a pink-dusted Hanzo turned his head over his right shoulder in search of Jesse's mouth. Jesse reciprocated, pressing his lips against the pouty mouth confronting him. Jesse kept a hand rubbing up Hanzo's side as Hanzo gave a soft swipe of his tongue, prompting Jesse to part his lips, drinking in the familiar flavor of Hanzo and the rhythm of their kisses. He rolled Hanzo's bottom lip against his teeth, tentative enough not to hurt him but passionate enough to make a snap when he released it.

Jesse only broke away when his neck started to hurt.

"Yeah, and then you'd kiss me like that." Jesse said, continuing. "Love the way you kiss me with that soft little mouth."

"Mmh." Hanzo agreed.

Jesse's mind jolted ahead to the next scene of his fantasy, and in prompt, his erection started to strain against the fabric of his pants in an increasingly uncomfortable way.

"You sure you wanna hear this?" Jesse asked, voice low. "It's kinda dirty."

"I would like to hear what you think is dirty."

"Well, how about you push me down in a chair and make me shut up."

Hanzo hummed in approval. Jesse let their legs twist together, loving how well he could feel the shape of Hanzo against his body.

"And then you'd stand up for a moment to pull up the front of your..." Jesse trailed off.

"What am I wearing?"

"This."

Guiding Jesse's wrists, Hanzo brought Jesse's hands down to the lap of his yukata, right under the belt. Jesse felt as Hanzo loosened the tie, just a little, and twisted the fabric open over his thighs, exposing soft skin. Jesse let his hand linger, feeling a little shiver go down his spine when he realized Hanzo wasn't wearing any underwear again.

"Yeah, like that." Jesse swallowed. "You'd turn around and shake your ass a little--"

"I do not 'shake' my anything."

' _Sure._ ' Jesse thought.

"Fine." he replied, biting his tongue. "You'd lift your skirt and I'd find out you weren't wearing nothing underneath."

Hanzo made a needy sort of sound that Jesse had only heard him make while he was desperate for contact. Hanzo's hips pushed forwards, just in the tiniest increment, chasing nothing. Brushing up just above the small knife holstered to Hanzo's thigh, Jesse rubbed the smooth skin between Hanzo's legs, feather lite, fully aware of how much of a tease he was being.

Jesse couldn't believe he had gotten away with calling Hanzo's attire a skirt. In truth, he had simply forgotten what it was called.

"Continue." Hanzo said. Under Jesse's palm, Hanzo squirmed, trying to bring Jesse's fingers closer to where he wanted them.

"Suppose I'd ask you if you really couldn't wait till we got home..." Jesse trailed off.

"I can't."

"You can't wait?"

"No."

"Want it now?"

" _Need it._ "

Jesse burned with satisfaction at having stolen so much of Hanzo's composure, and so quickly. Hanzo's back arched further when Jesse finally got a hand around him. Keeping it absentminded, Jesse twirled his fingers over the head of Hanzo's cock and down his shaft.

"How could I say no to that?" Jesse mused. "Guess I could agree to a little risky business, long as you promised to keep quiet. Think you can do that?"

" _Yes._ " Hanzo hissed.

"Promise?"

"I'll be _quiet._ "

"Good. Don't wanna get caught, now, do we?"

Hanzo didn't respond. He tilted his hips forward, pressing his cock farther into Jesse's palm, but Jesse didn't budge, bent on torturing Hanzo for as long as he could stand to.

"What happens next?" Hanzo asked.

"Well, since I'm so worried about getting caught, I think I'll keep my pants on."

In clarification, Jesse reached down and into his jeans with his metal hand, bunching his underwear down so that he could pull his erection through his zipper, keeping his jeans up. He pressed his pelvis back against Hanzo's backside, loving the feeling of Hanzo's robe against his dick. Hanzo twisted his right hand around, just for a second, to run over Jesse's pelvis and feel the skin of his cock against the fabric of his pants.

"Yeah, like that." Jesse followed, resuming the trace of his fingers up Hanzo's steady hard-on. "I'll fuck you right through 'em."

"You will?"

"Well, first I gotta turn you around, reach between your legs and--uh..."

Jesse gulped. He was struck with a sudden fear to continue, worried of ruining the mood with something too strange.

"And what?" Hanzo asked.

"I'd find...um..."

"That I had already prepared myself?"

"With one of those--toys, you know?"

"Oh."

Jesse was relieved to hear that Hanzo's tone was unoffended. Jesse supposed it wasn't that surprising, as although he himself found the thought of men using sex toys in poor taste, Hanzo didn't tend to hold the same reservations that Jesse did. Either way, they'd never used a toy before, only their bodies. Jesse didn't know if he would actually enjoy watching Hanzo use one in real life, but it was, at the moment, a nice addition to his fantasy.

"What color?" Hanzo asked.

"Blue."

Jesse felt his face blush pink. He twisted his head against Hanzo's, getting himself lost in a sea of pleasantly-scented black hair. He pressed a kiss against the back of Hanzo's head as he felt himself start to roll his hips, pushing forward in tiny circles.

"You promised to be quiet, remember?" Jesse whispered, his breath bouncing hot on Hanzo's ear.

"Yes."

"Let's see how quiet you are when you're riding my cock."

Hanzo groaned, quiet and needy and accompanied by another squirm. Jesse took pity on him, squeezing his right hand into a tunnel so that he could jack Hanzo off nice and proper. A drop of precum rolled down Jesse's fingers. Jesse brought his thumb to the head of Hanzo's erection, gathering the slippery liquid to ease his hand up and down.

"Goddamn," Jesse followed, cheeks heating. "Don't know if I'll be able to keep quiet."

"Tell me more."

"Love how slick you get for me."

" _Uh._ "

"Want you staining my shirt."

"I'll soak it."

Jesse bit back a needy whimper as a filthy rush shot through him. It was thrilling to see Hanzo like this, to experience something new with him. This wasn't Jesse's favorite fantasy, and he doubted it was Hanzo's, either, but he found himself developing a new, strong appreciation for it, at least in context.

"This is getting kinda messy now, baby doll. Ain't quite sure how we're gonna hide it when we're done."

"We will--make do."

"Guess we'll have to. Although, if I'm bein' honest, my mind's somewhere else."

"Where is it?"

Hanzo shivered as Jesse snaked his way under Hanzo's body and around to his left nipple, rubbing slow circles against the cloth around the nub of flesh. Jesse liked the way the material felt under his fingers, and really, really liked the way Hanzo's nipple hardened under the cotton.

"In the gutter. You got no idea how sexy your eyes are when you're getting fucked." Jesse answered.

"Uh."

"And your mouth, too. Little noises you make drive me up the wall."

Jesse felt a note of gratitude when Hanzo reached behind himself, pulled up the back of his garment, and lifted his right leg. Quickly slicking himself down with spit and spreading his natural slick, Jesse slid himself between Hanzo's warm thighs.

"We're gonna get caught if this goes on much longer..." Jesse followed, reveling at the weight of Hanzo's balls against his cock as he fucked between Hanzo's legs in a rhythm that even slow and controlled as it was, made Jesse's breath heavy and his cheekbones splatter themselves with berry.

"We will manage."

"Suppose I ain't got a choice."

"Oh?"

"You got me wrapped around your little finger."

"How do I feel?" Hanzo asked.

"So good." Jesse groaned. "So good. All warm and tight. You feel like velvet."

Hanzo was silent. He was working with Jesse now, bottoming out on one side and rutting into Jesse's hand on the other. Wanting to take a bite, Jesse tipped his head to suckle against Hanzo's neck, exploiting the cluster of nerves in the crook of his shoulder. Hanzo exhaled nice and sharp as Jesse scraped his teeth and continued to work both his hands in dual stimulation. Hanzo's thighs were strong and warm around Jesse's cock and the messy fabric of Hanzo's clothing brushed tight against the head every time Jesse pressed forward. Jesse pumped Hanzo harder.

Hanzo had a way of making Jesse's composure leave him.

"You close?" Jesse asked. "Ain't got much time left."

"Yes. I will be--quick."

"You'd have my attention."

"Oh?"

"Love nothing more than to watch you bounce on my dick and make yourself come."

"More."

"You like the way I fuck you?"

" _Adore it._ "

Jesse let out a sharp sigh as the movement of his hips started to become less controlled and more instinctual. Hanzo had a way of making Jesse's composure leave him.

"Wanna see you--" Jesse started, cutting himself off, losing his nerve.

"What? I'd what?" Hanzo asked, voice thick with heavy breath. Jesse could tell Hanzo was getting close, so he started to make sure that the hand on Hanzo's cock was also brushing against his own, not wanting his own orgasm be too far off.

"It's real dirty."

"Tell me."

Jesse swallowed.

"Wanna see you come all over yourself, all over that pretty outfit." Jesse answered, voice coming out in a low, uncomposed growl. "Wanna see you ruin it."

Hanzo moaned loud, bucking his hips roughly into Jesse's hand. Around his cock, Hanzo's thighs started to quiver. Positively reinforced, Jesse continued.

"How the hell are we supposed to hide it now, Hanzo?" Jesse asked through grit teeth. "We got a meeting in two minutes."

To Jesse's delight, he had managed to turn Hanzo into an absolute mess, erection dripping steadily against Jesse's hand as its owner's breath started to turn into a chorus of sharp, approving sighs. Jesse nuzzled Hanzo's ear as he worked both of them, nearly in awe.

"What do you want Hanzo?" Jesse asked, voice close to desperate. "Anything."

Hanzo's eyes came half closed. He sounded as serious as always when he answered.

"Climax on me."

Jesse had to grit his teeth, inflamed with the thought.

"...You sure?" he asked.

"Please."

How could Jesse say no to that?

Using all of his will, Jesse stopped fucking between Hanzo's legs and pulled himself out, slow as he could managed. He removed both his hands from Hanzo, disengaging his body from its previous spot, plastered to Hanzo's back. Locking eyes with Jesse for a pink-faced, smoky second, Hanzo rolled onto his back, clearly in an open invitation. Swallowing, Jesse positioned himself so that he was kneeling against the bed, Hanzo's legs between his knees. Under him, Hanzo stroked himself slow and lazy, like he was trying to plateau himself. When Jesse started to pump his own cock, hard and fast, Hanzo sped up.

He got the feeling that Hanzo liked him like this, fully clothed and pleasuring himself.

"Want me to come all over you, baby doll?" Jesse asked, fully entranced. He'd gotten to the point in his own pleasure where he was able to put aside his shame. And for the moment, it was freeing.

" _Yes._ " Hanzo cried. " _Yes._ But, not in the meeting room."

"Oh? And where do you want me to come in the meeting room?"

Hanzo's eyes squeezed shut. His hand started to pump harder, less controlled. Jesse watched carefully, having long since wanted to know what Hanzo looked like when he masturbated.

" _Inside._ " he answered. Jesse's stomach dropped.

"You want me to come inside you? You sure? Don't got a rubber on."

"Please."

" _Fuck,_ I'll come inside you, alright, I'll come inside that tight little ass--"

Jesse cut himself off as he peaked to both the Hanzo of reality, right underneath him, eyes desperate and mouth begging for it, and the Hanzo of fantasy, stuffed with cum while the clock ticked down. He watched in methodical fixation as he spilled himself onto Hanzo's body, streaking white against the dark fabric that covered Hanzo's belly and chest. Hanzo twisted his back and groaned, loud and mouth open as it hit him, and then again as he followed, pulling his cock at the right angle to add to the mess that Jesse had already made.

It was very sudden, but when Jesse came down, his excessive arousal was replaced by mild self-disgust as he looked at the fictional scenario he'd just created through a more practical outlook, and the smears of semen against Hanzo's yukata.

"Oh." Jesse said, suddenly unable to meet Hanzo's eyes.

Hanzo's breath leveled slowly.

"You alright?" Jesse asked.

"I am questioning my judgement." Hanzo replied, covering his own face. "That was..."

"Kinda gross."

To Jesse's relief, Hanzo chuckled, muffled beneath his hands. Jesse easily reciprocated.

"But I--I liked it." said Jesse.

"Good. Because it counted as my turn."

Hanzo uncovered his eyes, but Jesse felt a twinge of uncertainty that Hanzo hadn't verified that he'd also enjoyed himself.

At least Jesse's clothing had managed to exit mostly unscathed, especially compared to Hanzo's, save for a tiny stain of precum against his trousers. Jesse unzipped his jeans, tucking himself back in. When finished, he reached down to help Hanzo out of his robe.

"That is alright." Hanzo replied, untying his silk belt himself.

Hanzo looked glad to be in his own room when he balled it up and tossed it towards the laundry bin. Jesse felt a little guilty.

"I'm sorry." Jesse said. "About your clothes."

"Don't be. I...enjoyed myself, enough that I suppose it was a necessary evil."

Jesse sighed quietly in relief.

"However, I would like to clarify something." Hanzo followed.

"What?"

"You don't actually wish to engage in...public debauchery, correct?"

"No." Jesse answered, shaking his head. "I just wanna fuck on the dining room table with my pants on and pretend I'm in the debriefing room."

"Oh, good. We are in the same frame of mind." Hanzo replied, the last bit of doubt leaving his eyes.

The room felt a lot more comfortable after that, especially when Jesse stripped himself down to his underwear. It felt as natural as it always did to take Hanzo in his arms and lie across his chest, although this time, it also felt a little necessary. Jesse discerned that it was a silent reminder that it wasn't just about the sex, and he squeezed Hanzo's shoulders a bit, hoping it came across without him having to say it.

"Do you ever wonder we why we got kinks?" Jesse asked after his breathing had completely mellowed. He did his best not to purr when Hanzo brought a hand to card through his hair.

"We?" Hanzo asked.

"Humans."

"Oh. Yes. I will admit that the existence of sexual fetishes is very puzzling to me, although I've never been able to find a satisfying explanation to their being."

"I just can't tell if they prove the existence of some god, or of the lack a' one."

Hanzo chuckled as Jesse let his eyes close lazily. Nearly a minute of silence passed, with Jesse using the time to enjoy the feeling of Hanzo's hand in his hair, stroking the sides carefully behind his ear.

"Hey, I got another question." Jesse said.

"Alright."

"It's a bit of a personal question."

"And this is a personal situation."

Jesse supposed that was true.

"Do you ever put a hand under the blankets?" he asked.

"Huh?"

"Masturbate."

"Oh." Hanzo replied with a bit of a snicker on his tongue. "The answer to that is a bit strange. Would you still like to know?"

"Yeah, sure."

"I do. Only on occasion. It's difficult for me."

"Somebody tell you it was gonna make your dick curve to one side?"

"No, it is more that for a long period of my life, I could not find the time or mental energy to pleasure myself. Even as this changed, it had already become a habit of mine. Or, rather, a lack of habit."

"I don't know if I could live like that."

Hanzo chuckled, tone dark.

"I could not, either." he replied. "One of my associates would purchase for me a night with a concubine whenever I became too short-tempered to be diplomatic."

Jesse's lips fell apart. He'd managed to learn a lot about Hanzo's, but it was so unfathomably different from his own that even small things felt surprising.

"You've slept with a prostitute?" he asked.

"A few, yes."

"You didn't just date?"

"No. Although I do like the idea of a partner, I've found that I have a difficult time maintaining lust and affection for most people for more than a few weeks, as conceeded as that sounds to say. This, especially in compound with the fact that I don't enjoy the feeling of tossing people aside, meant that I tended not to engage in anything long term."

"Oh." Jesse replied, momentarily overcome by a flash of warmth in his belly. If Hanzo had picked up on the subtext of what he'd laid down, he didn't say it.

"That, and the danger of my profession." Hanzo quickly added.

"I gotcha."

Jesse turned his head a tiny bit up, just to make sure that Hanzo couldn't feel his smile.

"I take it you do?" Hanzo asked.

"Do what?"

"Masturbate."

"...Yeah."

Besides a few of the tensest weeks at Blackwatch, Jesse hadn't gone five days without jacking off since he was thirteen.

"Do you--still?" asked Hanzo. "After we started...?"

"...Yeah."

Hanzo didn't reply. For a moment, Jesse worried, especially because he couldn't see Hanzo's face, that he'd been insulted by the answer.

"You don't, uh, mind, do you?" Jesse asked.

"No. Why would I?"

Jesse didn't answer. He felt a bit of relief that Hanzo didn't care, but something still felt off.

"There is no relationship under the sun we could have that I would find it any of my concern." Hanzo quickly added. "I believe that there are some needs we can only fill for ourselves."

"That--uh...thank you. That sounds nice." Jesse replied, truthfully. Whatever had felt off a moment earlier went away, and was replaced with a sense of content.

"Well, as long as you pay your indulgences to the Catholic church."

Jesse initial snort quickly turned into a heavy chuckle. Hanzo had a strange but effective way of reminding him how much of his shame really didn't need to exist.

"I got one more question." Jesse said slowly.

"What?"

"You don't mind answering questions ‘bout this kinda stuff, do you?"

"No. Ask."

Jesse was silent for a moment as he contemplated a way to ask his question.

"What do you...use?" he managed. "When you do it?"

"Hmm?" Hanzo asked.

"Kinda medium, I mean."

"I prefer literature."

"Reading?" asked Jesse, his eyebrows coming together in confusion. "Like...like what girls do?"

Hanzo blinked, his mouth a tight line.

"I'm sorry." Jesse replied quickly, comically pathetic.

"And what kind of medium of pornography do you consume, Jesse McCree? I'd assume something valiant?"

Jesse pursed his lips. He had been hoping Hanzo wouldn't ask, but now that he had, Jesse had no intention of backing down.

"I...uh..." Jesse stammered. "I gotta couple copies of Playboy under my--"

Hanzo failed to make it to the end of Jesse's sentence before bursting into a fit of heavy laughter. Against Jesse's head, Hanzo's chest shook violently as he chuckled. When Hanzo finally stopped for air, he sucked in a deep breath like he'd been underwater for half a minute before launching into another fit.

"You done?" Jesse asked, voice miffed, although he couldn't help but smile. He'd gotten to hear Hanzo in hysterics twice today, which was more than he usually got out of half a year.

"I'm sorry." Hanzo giggled. "That is just--that is exactly what I should have expected."

Jesse waited until Hanzo had calmed down before clearing his throat in an invitation to continue their conversation. Hanzo looked mildly apologetic, although clearly only for the purpose of appearing more sympathetic.

"What were you expecting?"

"I assumed standard internet pornography to be more suitable for you."

"Nah, I don't like that stuff."

"Why not?" Hanzo asked, his voice turning from mocking to something more genuinely curious. Jesse sighed.

"It's always some lady getting smacked around, and it just makes me sad."

"I think your search skills may be lacking."

"Probably."

Hanzo didn't answer. Absentmindedly, Jesse nuzzled his head into the crook of Hanzo's neck.

"Usually just end up using my head." Jesse followed. He failed to add the small detail that for the past year, his mind had been unable to come up with almost anything but compromising scenarios of his present company.

"I too often find that best."

The conversation lulled. It wasn't early enough to sleep, but Jesse enjoyed the silence nonetheless, relishing the weight and warmth of Hanzo's arms around him and the smooth, familiar pillow of his chest. He let his eyes droop closed again, lost in thought. Just like every other relationship he'd had, Jesse'd had pretty good luck being honest with Hanzo. Except, ironically enough, about what had led them there.

At the very least, there was no end in sight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey so someone on twitter asked for the subtext of the quantum randomness scene so I made a little comic if anyone was curious what I was trying to convay. Maybe it defeats the purpose of my writing to look, but what do I know.
> 
> https://mobile.twitter.com/AssesButtz/status/1080085338117173248


	8. (interlude 2)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, all. This is a quick update. I've been super unsure about how to order the next couple of scenes. I was origonally going to do a full chapter, and then the D.Va stream as my second and last interlude, but I just can't get the first scene of the next chapter to fit with everything else so I'm going to have it be the second interlude, and then a short chapter, and then the D.Va stream as the third and last interlude. It might be kind of messy so whoops. idk how professional authors manage so few breaks.
> 
> there's a small chance that this scene will end up moved to the end of chapter 10 and interlude 2 will be no longer needed

Jesse opened the door to his freezer and shrieked as an entire frozen octopus fell out, crashing into the floor.

"Hey, Hanzo?" Jesse called, staring at the purple abomination of tentacles, suction cups, and round eyes that bore into him no matter which angle he stood at.

No response.

With a tentative hand wrapped in a dishtowel, Jesse picked up the octopus as best he could under one arm, reluctantly cradling it like a basketball. Jesse turned towards the living room.

"Hanzo? We've talked about this." Jesse said, walking into the living room. "You gotta-- _oh._ "

Jesse cut himself off when he got an eyeful of Hanzo, curled up on the couch, face hidden in the cushions, and trembling violently. Jesse's heart sunk a little at the sight, but he was accustomed. Taking a quick detour to put the octopus back in the freezer, Jesse returned with a thick blanket that he laid out over Hanzo's form. 

"Stay or leave?" Jesse asked.

" _Stay._ " Hanzo answered, voice noticeably rough, and even moreso than usual.

Hanzo usually picked stay.

"Touch, or no touch?"

" _Touch._ "

Jesse took a seat by Hanzo's head. He carefully undid Hanzo's hair and placed the free ribbon on the coffee table. Jesse carded his god-given hand through Hanzo's sweat-dampened hair, rubbing his fingers behind Hanzo's ear. When Hanzo rubbed his head against Jesse's knee, Jesse took the hint and scooted a little closer, letting Hanzo into his lap. Hanzo pushed his face into the last few buttons of Jesse's flannel as he continued to shake, sending vibrations up Jesse's spine.

"You wanna talk about it?" Jesse asked.

Hanzo was silent for a long moment, save for the piercing sound of his panicked breath.

"It's his face." Hanzo finally uttered. "I cannot make it leave me."

About once a month Jesse found Hanzo debilitated on the couch, unable to get the face Genji had made when he started to beg for his life out of his head.

"Reason, or distract?" Jesse asked.

"Distract."

Jesse wracked his brain for a garbage topic as quickly as he could.

"Had a weird exchange with Lucio the other day." he started, going with the first thing that came to mind. 

Hanzo mouth stayed glued shut, but he nuzzled his face further into Jesse's stomach.

"He bought me some new bullets for Peacekeeper." Jesse followed.

"...Hmm?"

"Yeah. Almost your standard point three-five-seven Colt Python bullets, 'cept these ones were made from reclaimed metals. I think it was less of a present and more a specific and mighty strange passive-aggressive statement."

Jesse smiled when Hanzo let out a little noise of amusement.

"Box they came in even said 'vegan' on it, too." Jesse followed.

Hanzo continued to tremble, but he let out a tiny, shrill chuckle that warmed Jesse's chest. Moving his hand to the back of Hanzo's head, Jesse rubbed affectionately over his scalp. Hanzo sighed, and Jesse could feel some of the tension leave his head. 

"Are you--going to retaliate?" Hanzo asked.

"Not a chance. He got me fair and square on...whatever the hell he was trying to do. I think it was for one of Hana's memes, or something."

Hanzo was silent. Jesse, having exhausted the topic, searched for another.

"We're getting a new scientist on board." he followed. "Somebody from Brazil. Kinda famous."

"What field?"

"Microbiology, I think."

"Do you remember their name?"

"Think it started with an 'A'. Why?"

"I've read some very intriguing work from a Brazilian microbiologist. A man named Juliano Alvarez?"

"Probably not. I think the first name was female."

Hanzo nodded. Jesse let the conversation lull as Hanzo didn't quite stop shaking but faltered noticeably. Jesse ran a hand through Hanzo's slick hair again, listening to the gradually decreasing volume of his breath.  

"Sometimes I wish I had been born a female." Hanzo said, causing Jesse to cough.

"What?" Jesse asked. "Why?"

"I would like for my person to have a lower volume."

"...Why?"

"I could retain my abilities with blades and low-weight hand cannons while being less of a target for enemy fire."

"But, uh, you're an archer."

"Which is why I said 'sometimes'."

Jesse shook his head. He didn't think he was ever going to completely understand the way Hanzo thought, although he supposed that was part of the fun.

"Sometimes I wish you were a lady, too." Jesse replied.

"I don't understand you." 

Laughing quietly, Jesse repositioned himself so that Hanzo could wrap his arms around his waist. They were both silent for a long minute, and when Hanzo's body shifted in a hypnic jerk, Jesse realized he'd fallen asleep. He wasn't at all surprised; Hanzo could sleep through anything.

Jesse let Hanzo stay in his lap for an hour, using the time to read through one of the books he'd downloaded on his phone. He didn't usually like to read from a screen, but he had no intentions of waking Hanzo up by trying to get something else.


	9. Wayne

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry in advance if you ship Widowtracer
> 
> ALSO ART FOR THIS CHAPTER BY ITSSINENOON https://twitter.com/itssinenoon/status/1083449277865693196

" _Jesse?"_ a voice called, cutting in through the dark.

Good voice, pleasant voice. Jesse mumbled and nuzzled the warm figure in his arms.

" _Jesse?"_ the voice said again.

"Hwat."

Jesse groaned in irritation as something crashed into his forehead. His eyes opened, drowsy but workable, to see the back of Hanzo's head. Against his side, he could feel the sheets from his own bed, reminding him where he was.

"Why'dja do that?" Jesse slurred. "Mean."

"Do you not see the problem?" Hanzo replied.

At first, Jesse though Hanzo was referring to how closely he had snuggled himself up, but upon further inspection, Jesse found the situation was a little more complicated than that.

"Hey, I didn't do it." Jesse said, in regards to the fact that his morning wood was sandwiched between Hanzo's thighs.

"Perhaps you did not initiate this predicament consciously, but I still trust you're at fault."

"To hell with that. This was at least a team effort."

Hanzo scoffed.

"You think I was involved in this?" he replied, comically outraged.

"Look, sweetheart, you had to at least lift your leg."

"You could have lifted my leg."

"My hands are tied."

"I refuse to believe that my unconscious mind would be so unsophisticated as to take part in this."

Jesse didn't say anything as an idea formed in his mind. He weighed his chances, optimistic, considering Hanzo hadn't moved, despite his complaints.

"So..." Jesse started.

"What?"

"How do you feel about using this opportunity?"

Hanzo sighed a sigh that implied Jesse was the most single-minded, horniest idiot in the world.

"I should have guessed you would say that." Hanzo replied.

"Let a man live."

Lifting his hands above the sheet carefully, Jesse undid the silk from his wrists as Hanzo fell silent, hopefully in consideration. Jesse was hit by a sudden memory of the last time they'd had morning sex, and an involuntary twitch graced him that Hanzo could definitely feel.

"Are you truly content with fucking my thighs?" Hanzo asked.

"Any other ideas?"

To Jesse's dismay, Hanzo wriggled from their embrace and gave Jesse an unreadable look. Jesse watched as Hanzo grabbed a little tin from next to the mattress. Hanzo opened the tin to reveal some mints, one of which he popped into his mouth. He offered one to Jesse, and Jesse complied, feeling the chill cut through the bad taste in his mouth.

"Lie down on your stomach." Hanzo ordered, putting the tin away.

Jesse raised an eyebrow. That was not what he had in mind.

"Please." Hanzo added.

"Is it really my turn?"

"I'm not going to fuck you. Unless you ask. Get on your stomach."

Jesse eyed Hanzo with uncertainty. Hanzo sighed.

"I will stop eating all of the frozen shrimp for your quesadillas." Hanzo said.

Jesse rid himself of the blankets and lied down on his stomach.

"You gonna tell me what you're doing?" he asked, grabbing a pillow and sliding it under his chest, resting his weight on his elbows. He heard Hanzo shuffle behind him, on top of the sheets.

"You will find out soon." Hanzo replied, grabbing Jesse's hips and pulling until his spread knees were bent against the bed and his ass was in the air. Jesse immediately flushed bright pink, and he shoved his face into the pillow to hide it.

"Things I do for you." Jesse mumbled.

Jesse felt a strange but familiar combination of warmth and anxiety bubble in his stomach as two strong hands ran their ways down his body, one on each of his sides, lulling for a moment to squeeze his waist. A familiar shame filled him, given that he was face down against the pillows with his ass up. However, he knew that ironically enough, Hanzo would only judge him if he acted to macho about it.

"Taihen semai." Hanzo swooned, rubbing in repetition from the sides of his waist down to the lean muscles of his belly.

"Huh?"

"You are very well built."

"Oh." Jesse replied.

Hanzo ran down his body again, but this time with his mouth. Jesse shivered a little when Hanzo brought a hand between his legs to cup his balls and stroke him back to full hardness. However, when Hanzo planted a kiss against his spine and another on his tailbone, Jesse's eyes widened against the pillow, suddenly realizing with certainty what was about to go down.

"You sure you wanna do that?" Jesse asked

"I trust you're clean enough. We both showered last night, did we not?"

Jesse ears flushed further pink as Hanzo swiped his finger over the cleft between his legs.

"Look, I don't...shave down there or nothing, alright?"

"Not a problem. You don't have as much body hair as you would like to think."

" _John Wayne never got his ass ate._ " Jesse mumbled. Hanzo snorted.

Jesse sighed. Hanzo had been pretty patient with Jesse's internal stigma, and for that, Jesse was appreciative. However, Hanzo wasn't above nudging him, and Jesse suddenly felt something soft, warm, and wet run over a part of him that was very rarely seen by the world.

Until then, the closest Jesse had ever come to getting his ass eaten was when an old girlfriend ask, nearly two decades ago, to which he'd politely declined and then turned his head so that she couldn't see that he'd thrown up a little in his mouth. So he didn't really know what to expect. His initial reaction was a grimace, like he'd just been shot in the foot. He didn't hate it, but he didn't really like it either. It felt strange and foreign, alien almost, although he suspected part of it was his own fault for being so rigid.

"Relax." Hanzo mumbled, nuzzling his nose against Jesse's tailbone.

Jesse sighed but willed some of the tension away from his body. He supposed he could take a little solace in the knowledge that he could tap out at any point and put himself in a more dignified position. He considered it, too, although his curiosity got the better of him.

"Ain't I sweet." Jesse mumbled.

Hanzo hummed, sending pleasant vibrations up Jesse's spine. Jesse sighed in irritation as it started to feel good, his core flickering with pleasure to the rhythm of Hanzo's tongue. Of _course_ it started to feel good. To Jesse's pleasure and dismay, he always ended up loving every humiliating thing that Hanzo talked him into.

"You are a great satisfaction." Hanzo mumbled against Jesse's tailbone, squeezing his hands deep into the meat of Jesse's ass. Jesse let out a sharp little breath. The fact that Hanzo was enjoying himself made the situation a whole lot more difficult to not find arousing.

When Hanzo picked up speed and went for languid strokes, Jesse realized the first part had just been a tease to get him warmed up. He sighed again as the sensation turned from irritatingly pleasant to aggravatingly euphoric and all-encompassingly good, molten heat rushing into his pelvis all too quickly and throbbing from his chest to his cock.

" _Oh,_ _Christ_." Jesse moaned, twisting his hands into the sheets. Unable to stop himself, he lifted his tailbone in an attempt to give Hanzo the best angle possible.

It was nothing like the tensed tongued, hyper-fast licking he'd seen in a few pornos. It was slow and thoughtful, with the passion of what he could only describe as a good kiss. He could tell Hanzo was good at it, which even after considering his more liberal views toward sex, it still came as a bit of a surprise, considering the fact that Jesse'd never taken Hanzo for the kind of guy who'd make a habit of putting his mouth on other people's assholes.

"Can't believe--lettin' you do this." said Jesse, gritting his teeth.

Hanzo pulled away for just a moment to chuckle. Jesse groaned again, unintentionally loud, when Hanzo pressed his face back in and gave him a soft little kiss before opening his mouth. In a long, languid motion, Hanzo rubbed over the curve of Jesse's ass and down his thighs at a pace that Jesse could only describe as affectionate.

"Are you enjoying yourself?" Hanzo asked, mumbled.

"Not a-- _ah_ \--chance."

Jesse's body twisted with pleasure as Hanzo's tongue assaulted him, spreading fire over nerves that Jesse hadn't even known were there. Desperate, Jesse had to work hard to stop rolling his hips forward in tiny jolts to fuck the air, especially as Hanzo increased pressure with both his hands and tongue. Jesse had never been particularly quiet in the sack, but he still managed to surprise himself with how loud he couldn't help but be, spitting out wordless praises for Hanzo's clever tongue and lack of shame.

He couldn't _believe_ he was letting Hanzo do this.

A few long moments of bliss later, Hanzo slowed to a stop. Jesse felt a strange mix of intense frustration and mild relief.

"Are you alright?" Hanzo asked, and Jesse could hear the smugness.

"Fuck me." Jesse mumbled, face pressed straight in the pillows as he gripped the sheets. "Please fuck me."

Hanzo chuckled. The mattress shifted and Jesse heard the familiar pop of a bottle of lubricant. He arched his tailbone when Hanzo put a hand on his butt, and hissed as a finger entered him.

"You pull me in." Hanzo mused, adding another.

"Don't wanna hear about it."

Jesse brought himself to his elbows, finally brave enough to face the world. Hanzo worked him long and slow with his slicked fingers, stretching him out, and Jesse couldn't help but be interactive, moving his hips in what hopefully resembled trying to help but most likely was just squirming for Hanzo's fingers to reach his prostate. When Hanzo's fingers did find it, Jesse pushed his face back into the pillow, less out of shame and more to muffle his shout. He couldn't stop thinking about getting fucked, about the minutes ahead when he'd have Hanzo's powerful hips pounding into him, Hanzo's cock stabbing at the place that had Jesse seeing white and leaking all over his own belly.

"I prefer this end of you." Hanzo said, and Jesse's ears turned a bit red when he realized what Hanzo was staring at. Unable to respond, let out a sharp breath when Hanzo pulled out his fingers out and swirled his tongue over the oversensitive rim.

"Jackass." Jesse breathed.

Hanzo was three spread fingers deep when he finally slowed down. Jesse felt like he had been ready for a while, although he hadn't figured out a way to say it.

"Is this sufficient?" Hanzo asked, pulling his hand halfway out.

"Yeah."

With two hands, Hanzo encouraged Jesse to flip over onto his back. Jesse complied, and was rewarded with the sight of smokey eyes and loose, messy black hair. Jesse watched Hanzo's naked, sculpted, obviously aroused body fumble around for a condom before finding one in the little drawer near Jesse's bed.

"At least have another mint." said Jesse, searching hard for any remaining dignity. To his surprise, Hanzo did get another mint before joining him.

Kneeling on the far edge of the bed, right between Jesse's legs, Hanzo dug his hands under Jesse's thighs, lifted the right one and tilting forwards with interest so he could kiss it. Although the softness of Hanzo's mouth against his delicate skin made Jesse shudder, there was something wanted between his legs.

"Don't make me beg." Jesse followed.

"Patience. It is worth my time to enjoy you." Hanzo replied, little smile ghosting across his lips.

Jesse supposed he should be grateful; Hanzo was always nicer when he topped. However, he was not patient when he sat up and pulled Hanzo over him with a little thump of their chests, nor was he patient when he grabbed Hanzo's erection and guided it between his legs with a frustrated little grunt. He felt another distant note shame about how needy he was being, but he shook it off, more interested in what was going to happen next.

"Let me..." Hanzo started. He lifted his chest a bit off of Jesse's, grabbing Jesse's left leg and slinging it over his shoulder. Adjusting his butt, Jesse offered his other leg, which Hanzo hooked over his other shoulder at the ankle.

Legs well over his head, Jesse felt his body relax as Hanzo breached him, finally giving him what he wanted. Apparently more flexible than he thought he was, Jesse felt no pain in his legs as Hanzo tipped his weight forward onto his outstretched hands, one on either side of Jesse's waist. Hanzo's hair fell over them like a curtain, almost touching Jesse's chin.

"Tell me when you are ready." said Hanzo.

"I'm ready." Jesse replied, digging his hands into Hanzo's hips. "I'm so goddamn ready, I--ah, ah..."

Hanzo built up moment quickly, thrusting deep in a series of unfaltering waves that continued flawlessly into his chest. As much as Jesse felt more comfortable being the one on top, there was something special about the way Hanzo fucked, the raw strength of his body and the look in his eyes, an intense blend of appreciation and determination that Jesse had only witnessed when his inner walls were gripping Hanzo's cock.

"Ow." Jesse suddenly grunted, wincing as a stab of pain shot through him at a particularly deep thrust.

"Oh." Hanzo said, eyes widening. Carefully, he pulled himself halfway out. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. Keep going. Just not that--"

"Hard. Yes, my apologies."

Hanzo started again, building up momentum a little slower. A little too slow. Jesse tugged at Hanzo's hips, urging him on.

"Autocratic." Hanzo said.

Jesse opened his mouth to respond, but was interrupted as Hanzo found his prostate. Trying and failing to keep himself from waking the neighbors, Jesse's chest flushed further berry under the tan as Hanzo started to exploit Jesse's pathetic human weakness, stabbing it in overwhelming repetition.

It was good. It was so good. Hanzo's hips had a way of making Jesse feel a special kind of euphoria, one that felt almost like the start of an orgasm. So much so that as accustomed to Jesse was becoming to a dick in his ass, he did have to look down a few times to make sure he wasn't actually coming.

"You like that angle?" Hanzo asked, rhetorically.

Jesse could only nod and moan. Hanzo's cock had a way of turning him into a hopeless, stuttering mess. He still wasn't sure how Hanzo managed to be so conversational when their positions were reversed, and it seemed he was nowhere close to figuring it out. A single drop of sweat rolled down a strand of Hanzo's hair and onto Jesse's chest.

"Tired?" Jesse asked, choking the word out.

"Absolutely not."

Jesse didn't reply, opting instead to go back to being completely wasted. He couldn't help it, he just felt so full, with Hanzo's rocking hips and perfect cock digging deep. Jesse didn't know which he liked better; the little bursts of fire in his belly, sparking in time with Hanzo's pelvis, or the satisfaction of running his hands down Hanzo's smooth back to his powerful, relentless thighs.

"I would like to thank you--for allowing me to use my mouth on you." Hanzo said.

"Oh."

"I will admit that I--"

Hanzo cut himself off, the tips of his ears turning a bit pink. Jesse made a noise of question.

"Pleasuring you like that has been a particular fantasy of mine for a while." Hanzo finished, voice low.

Jesse let his mouth open with for a breathy little 'huh'. Above him, Hanzo's face started to lose some of its smugness in favor of an attractive cheekbone flush and an undone mouth. Jesse watched with interest, especially as Hanzo's brows started to come together.

"Getting the feeling you just like my ass." Jesse managed, using all of his will.

"Besides your commonality, it was one of the first things I noticed about you."

Jesse's toes curled. He felt his face dust with pink, just like it always did when Hanzo hinted at how long he'd wanted to fuck him, even when it was just a backhand to Hanzo calling him poor.

"You should see yourself--" Hanzo hissed, pressing forward harder, "--ascending a flight of stairs."

Jesse inhaled a sharp breath. Between them, he felt his own cock twitch and spill a particularly large drop of precum across his stomach. Although his orgasms tended to sneak up on his when he was on the receiving end of sex, Jesse realized all too quickly that he was teetering.

"Wait. Wait." Jesse said, desperately grabbing at Hanzo's hips. Hanzo slowed to a stop.

"Are you in pain?" asked Hanzo, eyes wide and apologetic.

"No. You're just gonna make me come."

Hanzo grimaced. His eyes returned to half-lidded.

"How long do you need?" he asked.

"Gimme thirty seconds."

Hanzo's eyes squeezed shut as he made a noise like he was in pain through grit teeth. Jesse relaxed his body, evening his breath as he used all his will and a few mental images of war to avoid coming right then and there. He never managed to last very long when he bottomed, but maybe he could change that.

"How long has it been?" Hanzo asked, only a moment later, voice higher than usual. He started to push his hips forward in tiny, shallow motions, before putting two hands on his own hips to stop them completely.

"Six seconds."

Still frowning in discomfort, Hanzo stayed static. He kept two hands on his hips, holding them in place. Three seconds in, Jesse felt Hanzo's knees start to shake.

"How traumatising would it be for you to finish prematurly?" asked Hanzo.

"Wouldn't really call that traumatising." Jess replied. "Why do you a--"

"I can't." Hanzo groaned, and Jesse felt a strong burst of pleasure as Hanzo started to thrust again, once, twice, three times, quickly gaining depth with each one until he was back to the pounding rhythm he'd been at before.

"Goddamn it." Jesse grunted as his core tightened with white hot pleasure.

At the very least, Hanzo continued to stab at his prostate even as he convulsed and started to peak, throwing Jesse into a sort of full body high that had him gasping and digging his nails into Hanzo's back for dear life. He squeezed his eyes shut, but not before noticed that Hanzo was staring at his face in sheer wonder.

"Oh, kireinaa." Hanzo moaned.

"You ass." Jesse replied as white pooled over his chest.

"My apologies."

Jesse shook his head in amusement as he came down, his muscles relaxing.

"Patient man, huh?"

Jesse was slack as Hanzo continued, switching to a faster rhythm now that he only had to worry about himself. It was still a bit of a strange sensation for Jesse to see Hanzo desperately horny and close while he himself was incapable of having any sex drive. But it wasn't unpleasant, and it made Hanzo happy, so Jesse was content with it.

Hanzo lasted maybe half a minute before he started to shake, his mouth opening to a familiar shape.

"Kireida yo, Jesse." Hanzo groaned. "Mamoritai."

When Hanzo finally convulsed and came, Jesse watched Hanzo's face closely, enjoying the sight of him without the walls of deliberation that he spun around himself. Jesse stroked Hanzo's sides with affection as Hanzo called out and buried himself deep.

"Ah." Hanzo breathed when he was finished, tension leaving his body. He flopped over, landing on top of Jesse's chest. Jesse snaked his legs off of Hanzo's shoulders.

"I still can't believe you did that." Jesse chuckled, shaking his head.

"Did what?" Hanzo panted, pulling out slowly so that they could lie down together, bodies intertwined.

"Ate me out."

Hanzo took a moment to reply, tossing the condom in the trash and resting his head on Jesse's chest. Jesse tossed an arm over him, pulling him close.

"Well," Hanzo said, and Jesse heard the smile, "it would be hypocritical if I did not. Considering how much time we've spent kissing, I've proven myself able to handle parts of you which spew shit."

Jesse beaned Hanzo in the face with a pillow.

The rest of the morning went as to be expected, with Hanzo passing out again ten minutes after his orgasm. Jesse snuck a quick peek at Hanzo's peaceful, sleeping face before wandering into the shower and staying there until lubricant stopped leaking out of him. After that, he threw on some underwear and happily made breakfast, bacon and eggs for himself and some weird kale shake for Hanzo's delicate sensibilities. When Hanzo wandered into the kitchenette, dressed his briefs and one of Jesse's flannels, Jesse couldn't help but feel a little appreciative.

"Here you go, princess." Jesse greeted, handing Hanzo the drink. After mixing in some powdered soylent, Hanzo downed the shake in two gulps.

"Thank you." Hanzo replied. "Do you have any fish?"

"Not unless you left some."

They ate breakfast mostly in silence, Jesse showing off the table manners he learned at age eight about not talking with his mouth full. Still, it was nice. Considering their jobs, Jesse didn't get a chance to enjoy breakfast with Hanzo very much after a night together.

"How long do we have?" Hanzo asked as Jesse put the dishes away.

"Before we gotta get ready? Maybe an hour."

"May I show you something?"

"Course."

When Jesse came back to the table, he found Hanzo, holding one of the pink apples from Jesse's fruit bowl outright in his palm.

"Neat." Jesse said.

Hanzo scoffed.

"Watch closely." he scolded.

Jesse watched closely as Hanzo ran his fingernail along the side of the apple, from the top to the bottom. Jesse was confused as to what he was supposed to be waiting for when the apple split itself into two halves, right along the line that Hanzo had traced.

"How'd you do that?" Jesse asked. When he looked at the apple halves, he noticed that the exposed insides, though smooth, were smoking.

"A light razor." Hanzo said, holding up his pointer finger. When Jesse squinted at Hanzo's nail, he could see that something tiny had been stuck onto it, giving the appearance of wearing a single jet-black stick on nail.

"Oh." Jesse replied, mildly intrigued. Reaching for the bowl, Jesse tossed Hanzo another apple, and Hanzo caught it easily.

"Smaller than a marble, but it can cut through six feet of solid obsidian."

Hanzo sliced the new apple in two with an unmistakable look of fondness.

"Where'dja get that?" Jesse asked.

"Satya had it custom made for me. I wanted to expand my arsenal."

Jesse felt an unpleasant spike of heat.

"Satya." Jesse replied. "Your friend Satya. Yeah. She still makin' those...buildings?"

Hanzo sighed. He kept his gaze towards the four apple halves in front of him, poking one with his finger.

"You don't like her."

"She's fine."

Hanzo sighed. A moment of silence passed before he replied. Jesse took a seat at the table.

"She is a lesbian." Hanzo said.

"Why do you think I care?" Jesse asked, ignoring the wave of relief that washed through him.

"I think you are jealous."

"Why would I be jealous? We ain't a--"

"We don't have to be. Jealousy is a standard human response in a wide variety of situations. However, this jealousy is misguided."

"Cause she's a lesbian?"

Hanzo took one of the apple halves and took a bite.

"Why would it matter to you if I was sleeping with her?" Hanzo asked, his tone more intrigued than genuinely irritated. "Even if you and I were romantically engaged?"

"Are you really asking me why it would matter if you were cheatin' on me in this tall tale?"

"Not 'cheating', as that implies dishonesty."

Jesse made a little noise of question. Hanzo recollected himself for a moment before continuing.

"Here. Look." he sighed. "Let's say we were entwined in something romantic. You spent a certain amount of time and energy with me, you treated me a certain way, but one day you also started fornicating with someone else."

"Who?"

"It doesn't matter. Commander Amari."

Jesse gagged at the thought.

"Personally," Hanzo continued, "if we were in a committed relationship but you were also engaging with Commander Amari, I would not feel it would concern me, provided you still spent the same amount of time with me, and treated me the same way, and communicated our lack of exclusivity effectively with me."

"Can it be someone else?"

"Huh?"

"I said, 'hey, Oedipus can I be banging someone other than Ana in this fantasy?'"

"Who do you wish to be theoretically intimate with?"

Jesse thought about it for a long moment, feeling this detail was of the upmost importance.

"I dunno." he said. "Echo?"

Hanzo stiffened.

"You would have intercourse with an omnic?" Hanzo asked, voice somewhere between disgusted and genuinely curious.

"Maybe I would, you bigot. Although, I don't even know if they can. I've never asked. What were we talking about?"

"We were having a disagreement over the nature of strict monogamy. On my side, I was providing a structurally sound argument to represent my point of view, and on your side, you were making faces."

"Can't help but be a little surprised that you wouldn't be supportive of something more traditional."

"Why?"

"Christ, look at you. You're a sixty-year old man in the body of a forty-year old god."

Hanzo rubbed left bicep in pride.

"I suppose so." he said.

"What kinda relationship did your parents have?" Jesse asked.

"Purely political. I suspect they only had intercourse twice. They both had several courtesans."

Jesse nodded as he stealthily googled what a courtesan was under the table so that Hanzo wouldn't think he was any more of a moron.

"So you don't--uh--like monogamy?" Jesse asked, as if he was only the most innocent level of curious.

"I don't despise it, and I think it's a perfectly suitable choice for many. But when I examine the mating habits of our closest relatives, I begin to suspect that it is not what a substantial number of humans were meant to participate in, in their natural states."

"Natural states?"

"Tribal pack animals. Although I look down on the way we lived as hunter gatherers, I simply cannot deny that it was the way our species lived for the overwhelming majority of its time on earth. Considering the sheer number of needs a human being possesses, I sometimes suspect the only reason humans could stand the strict monogamy that came from organized religion is because eventually, we die."

Jesse valued Hanzo as a sensible man and recognized him as someone with a significant amount of old-fashion values. Despite this, Hanzo had a strange habit of occasionally saying something so radical that Jesse would have to sit down.

When Hanzo looked up, Jesse realized too late that there was a frown on his own face. Hanzo twisted his mouth in thought.

"I do, however," Hanzo followed, his face softening, "believe that the most important part of any relationship, platonic or otherwise, is mutual understanding."

"Alright."

"And there is something I wish for you to understand."

"What?"

In an almost unnoticeable shift of movement, Hanzo rubbed his legs together unnaturally.

"I've known you for some number of years." Hanzo said. "And been acquainted with you for most of them. Long enough to be certain that there is not enough time on this earth that I would like to spend with you."

Jesse's chest did something funny and he turned his head so that Hanzo couldn't see the blood rushing to his face. It was the kindest thing Hanzo had ever said to him, and Jesse didn't really know how to deal with it.

"What?" Jesse choked.

"The amount of time that I will likely be alive is drastically less than the amount of time I wish to spend with you, or at least my current perception of who you are, which I am somewhat certain will not drastically change. That does not mean that I wish to spend all of that time with you at once, simply that I hope to know you for the rest of my life and am regretful it will be so short."

Jesse turned his head away to the wall, choking back tears. He wasn't sure if Hanzo was aware that what he'd said was overwhelmingly touching or not, but either way, the part of Hanzo's face he could see out of the corner of his eye was blank.

"You--uh--you too." Jesse replied once he had managed to swallow the lump in his throat.

Hanzo nodded but didn't say anything. He passed Jesse an apple slice, and Jesse ate it in wonder, not even noticing when he ate the seeds too.

"So, uh..." Jesse started, trying to find the words.

"Yes?"

"What's your ideal relationship? How many, uh..."

To Jesse's surprise, Hanzo chuckled.

"Ideally," Hanzo started, "I would like to have a long term partner, someone I did not live with but spent the night with every three or so days."

"That's it?"

"That, and every two months, I would like to attend an orgy."

Jesse almost choked on his own spit at Hanzo's words, and how seriously he'd uttered them.

"Yo--you like orgies?" Jesse stuttered.

"Yes, I find them enjoyable."

Jesse was silent for a few moments in thought as he began to question the very groundwork for his perception of reality. He was more comfortable with the thought of monogamy, and he would prefer to live with a partner, although he supposed understood why someone as high-maintenance as Hanzo wouldn't want to. And besides, the more he thought about Hanzo going to an orgy, the funnier the concept became.

"I could handle that." said Jesse, breaking free from his head.

Hanzo raised an eyebrow.

"I mean, I could." Jesse quickly added. "If...you know."

Hanzo nodded. And from there, breakfast went on as usual, and they got to the drop ship with fifteen minutes to spare.

Jesse just hoped that Hanzo didn't want him to take part in any orgies.

 

~~~~

 

The hovertrain ride to Guatemala only took about an hour. Jesse won a hundred dollars playing poker, which was luckily enough to pay for the ninety dollars of beer he'd drank before learning it was not complimentary.

Overwatch was crashing a small Talon science lab in the middle of an abandoned city, torn to shreds by domestic political turmoil. They were looking for a vial of Moira's stolen bio-tech, and plan was simple: have Genji and Lena sneak in, survey the layout, wreck up the place, and grab a few vials, and then have Hana sneak in and grab the real stuff while everyone else dealt with the troops, just in case Genji or Lena lost both lost their vials in the fight. All while Winston, Angela, and Echo looked at numbers back at the ship.

Once they got there, set up was uneventful, save for Ana almost getting stuck in a sinkhole that had torn up from under the broken cobblestone road. They wandered the humid air and smashed chunks of architecture, making sure there weren't any civilians within a sizable radius. Jesse didn't find any civilians, although he did find several more small, muddy sinkholes and an elegant tabby cat that peed on him and ran away when he tried to pet it.

After they'd grouped together and declared the zone civilian free, Jesse, Morrison, and Ana kicked the ground awkwardly while Hanzo scurried up what was left of a nearby building to make himself a nest

A few minutes of tense, uneventfully pacing went by before Lena and Genji crashed out through the window, each carrying a vial of stolen bio-tech, followed distantly by twenty low-ranking talon soldiers, although so far, none of them proved to be much of a threat. Jesse ended up right next to Morrison as they worked through the troops, positioned about twenty behind Hana's autopolited tank of a mech, twenty feet in front of Ana, and twenty feet below Hanzo. Around him, Genji and Lena darted across the clearing of cobblestone and decimated structures.

"What do you think happens when we die?" Genji asked, unhelpfully, as he watched Jesse blast a man to hell.

"I was taught that if you lived with a good heart, death would bring upon an eternity of peace." Ana answered, sniping a soldier advancing on Jesse through the head. "Although now I suspect it just goes black."

"I don't believe those two things are mutually exclusive."

"Could ya'll kids lighten up a little back there?" Jesse begged.

"I am just trying to make conversation." Genji replied.

Jesse sighed as he shot at another soldier, trying to get them off Lena's ass. Compared to a target he'd known the world would be better off without and hunted down solo, Jesse didn't care for killing people he knew nothing about. However, he did it anyway whenever a simple incapacitation wasn't enough, because as much as it might wear under his collar like sandpaper, he had no intentions of not protecting the people he loved.

As luck would have it, Jesse was quickly pulled from his thoughts before he could get too wrapped up in them as he heard Morrison yelp. Turning to help, Jesse found that Morrison had already solved the problem himself, whacking the flanker in the side of the head with the butt of his pulse rifle.

"That guy's not going home to his kids." Morrison said as the Talon soldier crumpled to the ground, tossing a bullet in him to make sure he was dead.

Jesse felt a hot rush of anger. He set his eyes to piercing and gave the side of Morrison's head a little glare until he noticed.

"What?" Morrison asked.

"Wish you wouldn't do that."

Morrison scowled as Jesse absentmindedly won the battle with the enemy soldier he'd been crossing fire with.

"Keep your compassion in check." Morrison warned. "It's gonna get someone killed some day."

"Didn't say you should bring him to base and throw him a goddamn welcome party." Jesse replied, barely keeping his professional demeanor.

"You think I should have let him live? He would just go back to Talon."

"And what? And keep then from indoctrinating another soldier?"

Morrison didn't respond, just stayed silent and gruff for the rest of the fight. Eventually, they ran out of soldiers to punch, and Hana snuck out the hole Genji and Lena had left in the window, all three vials intact.

 _ 'Alright, everyone back to the ship.'_ Morrison sent. _ 'Cept for McCree and Lena, I need you to help me with something. Genji, take Oxton's vial.'_

Lena handed Genji her vial and took off with Ana and Hana, sticking close to them. The ship was about a mile away, maybe a twenty-five minute walk with the rough terrain. Jesse and Lena stayed behind and quickly found out that "helping Morrison with something" meant scraping off the disembodied chunks of...something that had somehow gotten stuck to a spot on his back he couldn't reach himself.

"Didn't want Song to see." Morrison quietly explained while Jesse gagged.

 _'Where are you?'_ Angela sent. _'Are you coming?'_

_ 'Yeah, we're ready.' _

_'Wait. Has anyone heard from the other Shimada?' _

_'I am experiencing difficulties.'_ Hanzo replied.

_ 'What happened?'  _

A few seconds too many went by before Hanzo replied. Jesse felt a cold rush of worry.

_ 'I'm stuck.' _

Morrison sighed and rubbed his forehead as Jesse's worry was replaced with relief. Opening his eyes to Jesse and Lena, Morrison darted his gaze between the two of them.

"Agent Oxton." Morrison started. "Go dig--"

"No way." Lena interrupted, voice sharp. Jesse was more than a little surprised. Lena had done her fair share of talking back, but she'd never directly denied and order before.

"Excuse me?"

"He can dig himself out."

Jesse watched, irritated at both of them, as Morrison and Lena had a little standoff.

"Three weeks of laundry duty." Morrison threatened.

"Fine." Lena replied, blinking away with a sneer.

"Alright." Morrison sighed, just to Jesse. "McCree, please go help agent Shimada get his foot out the the mud."

Jesse gave a lazy little salute and took off towards the location Hanzo sent him. They were pretty close by, just on the other side of the small building Hanzo had built his nest in. Jesse was a little confused as to how Hanzo had gotten there, considering that it looked like it was almost cut off from every side.

"No detours." Morrison added. The side of Jesse's mouth twitched.

Zoning in on the coordinates, Jesse snuck around a tight corner near some impassable thorn bushes and wreckage to find Hanzo waist deep in a sink hole with maybe a five foot radius. Jesse quickly surveyed his surroundings. Behind and in front of him were two structures of varying sizes, the shorter one the small building the one he was already acquainted with, maybe twenty feet high and dark grey, and the taller one light brown and most likely the base of a wide church tower, maybe a hundred feet tall. The other sides were clocked out by mud and more thorn bushes, creating a clearing that was maybe twenty square feet. Not much.

Jesse turned his gaze back to Hanzo, whose hands were positioned unnaturally above his hips to avoid the mess. Jesse couldn't help grinning with the knowledge that he was finally better at Hanzo than something, be it spotting sinkholes and be it only at the result of growing up in New Mexico.

"I was hoping they wouldn't send you." Hanzo said, pink in the cheeks, as Jesse carefully made his way over to a safe ten feet from the sinkhole.

"Don't worry about it. Least we can finally pass for men of the same social status."

"Fuck you."

"How did this happen?"

"I was climbing down from my nest. I don't wish to discuss it."

Quickly scanning his surroundings, Jesse fished a rusty but strong looking chain from a boulder-seized chunk of debris. He tossed the end to Hanzo, who grasped it with his hands. Jesse pulled him out slow and steady, one forearm's length at a time.

When Hanzo was properly fished out and on dry land, he looked down survey the damage. His entire lower half was coated in an even layer of grey sludge, weighing down the usual billow of his clothes.

"I suppose I've seen better days." Hanzo said.

"Shut it. You make it work."

"I can hardly believe that."

"Believe it. Kinda pissing me off, to be perfectly honest."

The pink on Hanzo's cheeks dissipated as he let out a tiny scoff and a half a chuckle. Jesse felt a sense of accomplishment.

' _Did you find him? Winston is worried about Talon sending in backup._ '

' _I got him. Tell the monkey we're on our way back.'_

' _It's funny you say that, McCree.'_ Winston sent. _'As I am no closer genetically to most species of monkey than you.'_

Jesse wasn't sure exactly what stupid face he made, but whatever it was made Hanzo snort.

They were just turning to squeeze their ways back out of the little clearing when the unmistakable sound of a hefty rifle thundered from the church tower. Jesse jerked his head behind a few feet of twisted rubble, pulling Hanzo down with him. Cursing quietly, Adrenaline rushed into Jesse's blood.

' _Sniper!'_ Jesse sent to everyone on their way back to the ship. _'Keep your eyes peeled!'_

Another shot rang out, high above their heads.

"It seems our clearing is safe from line of sight." Hanzo said, pointing at the church tower across from them that the bullets had sounded like they came from.

Jesse tossed a rock, a twig, lifted his metal arm out, and then finally poked his head up to confirm it. It seemed the sniper was too high up and the twisted wreckage above their heads was too thick for a good shot. Jesse enjoyed the short moment of relief he felt, although he knew this was far from over.

"Yeah." Jesse replied. "Reckon he must be pretty high up. We better warn the team, they might be sitting ducks."

While Hanzo communicated with the team and told everyone not in the ship to get down, Jesse looked up as another bullet rang out, this one clattering against something on the top of the smaller building to their backs, possible a piece of shrapnel. The bullet fell to the ground next to their feet with a little clatter, close enough for Jesse to see the little engraved spider against the shell.

"Not her." Jesse groaned, dread creeping across his skin.

"Who?"

Jesse realized Hanzo had never been on a mission where they had dealt with Amélie. Hanzo was relatively new, after all, and they hadn't seen her in years, at least not in the open.

"More of a what." he answered.

With his neuro-comm, Jesse informed the team of the situation. He winced a little at Ana and Lena's quiet little 'oh's.

"Is that the only information you plan to provide?" Hanzo asked.

"You ever heard of a lady named Amélie Lacroix?"

"I cannot say that I have."

"Well, I'll tell you this. She ain't really someone I'm fond of. And she can shoot the nads off a mouse from a mile away."

"So she is a renowned sniper?"

"You could call it that."

"And you do not care for her?"

Jesse twisted his mouth is disgust.

"Reckon I don't care much for people who get off to shooting peace activists through the frontal lobe." he replied.

Hanzo looked thoughtful while Morrison and Ana bickered over the main channel, about whether they should try to make a break for it or try to somehow incapacitate her. Jesse learned that they had all taken cover behind rubble, various distances from the ship.

' _...nest's so chock full of booby traps we'll be dead before we even reach the right floor.'_

' _But if we try to get the shit and get out, she'll take out at least one of us. Guaranteed.'_

' _Does anyone have her latitude and longitude?'_ Hanzo asked.

' _Yeah,_ _latitude is keep your fucking and longitude is head down.'_

' _We know that she's about halfway up the building just south of you, maybe twenty feet away and a hundred feet up.'_

' _That is not specific enough. How tall is she? How tall is the building?'_

Jesse was filled with the growing suspicion that he should be very worried.

' _Oh, no you don't, son. You aren't risking yourself out there right now. If anything, we're gonna send Oxton or your brother.'_

Hanzo stiffened.

"What are you doing?" Jesse asked, words slow and calculated. He readied his metal hand, preparing to grab Hanzo if he decided to do something stupid.

' _Commander Morrison, I'm going in.'_ Hanzo sent as Jesse's eyes widened. ' _Do with that information what you will. I suspect getting everyone to the ship while I pressure her.'_

Jesse grabbed for Hanzo's collar to stop him, desperate.

"Protect yourself, Jesse." Hanzo said, easily escaping from Jesse's grab. "Please do that for me. I will be fine."

With that, Hanzo scurried up the wall behind them and back into his nest from earlier. Jesse cursed, grabbing the sides of his head as the dread sunk in, freezing over his chest.

"Are you fucking crazy?" Jesse yelled up to Hanzo, his chest thumping painfully in his chest.

Hanzo didn't answer, and Jesse shut his mouth before he could endanger Hanzo with a distraction. Backing up against the wall of the building Widow was perched in, Jesse could just make out Hanzo as as he shot an arrow, just dodging a red beam of a speeding bullet. Jesse sunk to the ground, unable to close his eyes.

Jesse desperately scanning his surroundings for a way to help, but the safety of their covered location that had once been a blessing was now a curse. Even if he were to position himself under Hanzo, there was too much shrapnel above him and the angle was too extreme for him to even send a few shots at the her feet. Heart racing so hard he wondered if it might actually leave his body, he kept his eyes on what little of Hanzo he could see, fixated on the way Hanzo moved his body as he traded bullets with Amélie.

It was almost like a dance.

 _'McCree, get your ass out of there and get back to the ship.'_ Morrison ordered.

 _'You should send someone in to help him.'_ Jesse sent back. He wondered briefly if the message sounded as angry as he felt.

_'If he's stupid enough to play Russian Roulette, we're at least gonna use the opportunity.'_

_'Please.'_

Morrison sent another message, but the words failed to fully register in Jesse's brain.

Jesse considered everything, yelling, throwing rocks at Widow to distract her, trying to climb the wall that Hanzo had scurried up, but everything had some sort of drawback that made it more dangerous than it was worth. In a horrible moment of realization, Jesse realized that he hadn't even gotten to tell Hanzo he loved him. He supposed he still could send it over the comm, but he had no intentions of risking Hanzo's focus for even a second. He knew it was stupid, he knew it was pointless, but he felt his mind skip ahead to the thought of Hanzo's body limp, a hole through his lifeless head--

Jesse heard a thump. Hand on his gun and bracing himself hard, Jesse turned around to see Hanzo, dusting himself off.

"She is no more." Hanzo said. His clothing was still dirty and there were a few cuts on his open chest, but a triumphant smile painted his face, wider than Jesse had ever seen.

Jesse felt several emotions, intense and all at once. Irritation, sure. Incredibly, chest elevating relief. Blatant awe that was probably not doing wonders for his face.

"You--" he started.

"I told you there is still a future for anachronisms."

"You killed her?"

"I did not think it would be so easy."

Hanzo's smile started to sink as he saw the look on Jesse's face. With a crash, Widow's body fell. It landed on the pattern of branches and naked rafters over their heads, but Jesse could still clearly make out the thick arrow screwed through her head.

However, it wasn't enough to send Jesse out of his state of disbelief.

"Have I upset you?" Hanzo asked.

"Come here." Jesse replied, frowning hard. The words felt rough in his throat, but quiet enough to sound like a request, rather than an order.

"What?"

"Come here."

Hanzo's feet were cautious as he stepped forward. Jesse reached out with gloved hands, touching Hanzo's face on either side. Jesse didn't realize there were tears rolling down his own face until one snuck into his mouth.

"Jesse?" Hanzo asked, eyes wide with concern. His voice was uncharacteristically cautious, timid even.

Jesse pulled Hanzo forwards, capturing him into a hug. Resting his cheek against Hanzo's temple, Jesse squeezed Hanzo's body hard, not enough to hurt but enough to make his hands stop shaking. In Jesse's arms, Hanzo's warmth serving as an anchor for Jesse's relief that Hanzo was alive and unharmed.

"Scared me." Jesse murmured, truthfully. Even now, he still felt frightened, frightened by Hanzo's recklessness and frightened by the implications of it.

Hanzo didn't respond. He didn't reciprocate the embrace, but he didn't resist either, just stood neutral and let Jesse rock them together as the seconds passed. Jesse rubbed his cheek against Hanzo's hair line.

Remembering that they still had a job to do, Jesse let their chests fall a few inches apart, although his kept his hands on either side of Hanzo's waist. Jesse could feel his own brow furrow, deepening his frown. He knew he looked like a kicked puppy, but he didn't have the energy to care, choosing instead to touch Hanzo's cheek with his hand, unintentionally spreading a streak of soot.

Jesse blinked the tears in his eyes away so that he could get a better look at Hanzo. To his surprise, Jesse found Hanzo's face more embarrassed than anything else.

"My...apologies." Hanzo said. "I do not regret my choice, but I will admit I did not realize--or even think to realize..."

Hanzo trailed off. He touched one of Jesse's tears, rolling it against the pads of his fingers with a look of thought.

_'Goddamn it, McCree, do you copy?'_

Jesse shook his head, trying to knock his brain out of his ass.

_'I copy. And I got Hanzo with me.'_

_'Alive?'_

_'Apparently.'_

_'And the spider?'_

_'Dead.'_

A long moment went by before Morrison messaged back.

_'Excuse me?'_

_'We'll explain in person. Give us a few.'_

_'Alright. Hurry your asses up. Talon won't be happy.'_

Jesse looked at Hanzo, who still looked a bit pink in the face. Jesse took a few tentative steps forward. Hanzo followed, and Jesse quickened his stride to something natural, lulling for a moment to squeeze out of the tiny clearing.

"So, uh..." Jesse started, scratching the back of his head.

"Yes?" Hanzo replied, too quickly.

"'Bout earlier, getting all worried and all that--"

"It's alright, I did not take it as--"

"I didn't mean it as any more than an expression of--"

"Friendship. Yes, I understand."

The conversation lulled. Jesse was a little surprised Hanzo had believed him.

"I'm real glad you're alright." Jesse said.

"Yes. I suppose I am as well."

The walk back to the ship was about a mile. To Jesse's relief, he and Hanzo's conversation gradually turned less and less awkward as they walked until it resembled the usual way they spoke. And once Jesse's heart rate died down, he was able to fully appreciate the short but immensely satisfying story of the death of Amélie Lacroix. By the time they'd gotten back to the ship, Hanzo had become something of a legend, already with several tall tales to his name that were all clearly started by Genji. Hanzo made a beeline for the bathroom.

"I heard that he did it with a single arrow." Genji whispered.

"Really?" Angela asked.

"Uh huh. He just had to take one look and then he knew exactly where she was."

"Yeah, well, I heard that he did it in a fursuit." said Hana. "And then he Fortnite danced on her corpse."

"Uh, what's a fursuit?" asked Winston.

With that, Jesse stopped listening in on their conversation. He walked to the front of the ship in search of Lena, curious to see how she would take the news.

"How are you doing, Lena?" Jesse asked. "Must be pretty pleased."

"Not entirely. I know she wronged me, but part of being a good person means not being happy with death. I'm not happy to hear that anyone is harmed, even those I despise." Lena replied as she passed out t-shirts, printed with the words _"Ding Dong, the Bitch is Dead._ "

In need of more shirts, Jesse took one. He gave Lena a little glace as he did, purely in suggestion.

"What?" Lena asked.

Right on queue, Hanzo left the bathroom that Jesse heavily suspected he'd only been in to avoid attention. Jesse gave Lena another little glance.

"Oh." she followed, frowning.

Lena cleared her throat as Hanzo passed them, on his way to his usual spot in the back of the ship.

"Hey, Hanzo?" Lena started.

Hanzo turned over his shoulder with a frown, although his posture indicated he was feeling more uncomfortable than cruel.

"Uh, thank you, Hanzo." she said to a wide-eyed Hanzo. "For what you did. And for taking one for the team."

"Oh. Thank you." Hanzo replied, too loudly, before taking off too quickly.

"Well then." Lena said after Hanzo'd left.

Jesse supposed it could have gone worse. He gave a goodbye to Lena and made his way to the back of the ship to find Hanzo. From behind, he put a hand on Hanzo's shoulder.

"Please," Hanzo started, tone sharp, "I don't wish to speak ab--oh, it's you."

"How you holdin' up?"

Face softening, Hanzo shifted his body closer to the wall of the ship so that Jesse could sit down next to him.

"I am looking forward to the landing. I don't tend to enjoy being around more than two people at once.”

Hanzo twisted his foot, sending a few brittle pieces of now-dry mud to the floor of the ship where they cracked into powder.

"I see that you're enjoying the attention." Jesse said. Hanzo gave a dark little scoff.

"It is superficial."

"The attention?"

"Yes. I have no intentions of gleaning any flattery from the fact that my coworkers have stopped spitting at me, simply because I killed the right person."

Jesse took awhile to reply. For the fourth time in the last two years, he got the feeling that Hanzo wasn't very good with people, at least not directly. But however harsh Hanzo's words were and however much he was missing the point, Jesse couldn't help but understand his skepticism. More than anything, Jesse wished that his teammates gave more of an attempt to understand Hanzo Shimada.

"Maybe it ain't just cause you killed her." Jesse said, trying out some cautious optimism. "Reckon it might got more to do with you risking yourself for our sakes."

"I risked myself for my brother. Nothing more, nothing less." Hanzo replied.

Jesse hoped that was true.

"Hey, uh, I'm gonna go set up with your brother, but before I go, there's something I wanted to say." Jesse stammered.

"What is it?"

"Well, I just wanna let you know that I think it's alright to place a little value on your own life sometimes."

Hanzo turned his head. He stared.

"That's all." Jesse followed, stepping up from the seat. He gave Hanzo a little hat tip as he went to find Genji, who was still in the back of the ship with Hana.

When Jesse snuck a peak over his shoulder, he saw that Hanzo's eyes were glued to the window.

 

~~~~

 

Three hours later, Jesse sat in Ana's office, rubbing his temples.

"I dunno, Ana, I'm sorry to bother you about this stuff again. I know I go off on this every six months."

"It's alright." Ana replied. "It is understandable."

"I trust you, and I trust most of the folks here, but I just I wanna know that I'm on the right side. And I think I am, but...I don't know where I'm going with this."

"I know that working for Overwatch is hard for you. And I know that you prefer to work alone, where you're able to make your own choices and actually understand what's going on."

"...But?"

Ana chuckled.

"No but." she replied. "I will take your words into consideration and see what I can do."

Jesse felt a warm kernel of appreciation ignite in his chest. He trusted Ana enough to know she had no intentions in giving him empty promises.

"Thank you, Ana. That means a lot to me."

"It's not a problem. Is there anything else you would like to talk about?"

Jesse thought to himself for a moment before answering. To his surprise, he realized that he did want to talk to her about something. He knew that Hanzo didn't want them to discuss their relationship, but Ana had proven herself capable of holding Jesse's secrets for twenty years.

"Now that you mention it," Jesse started, "I would. I wanna get your opinion--"

_'Agent McCree, report to my office in five minutes.'_

Jesse groaned with irritation. Resentment bubbled in is his core, but he did his best to make sure Ana didn't notice.

"My opinion on what?" Ana asked as Jesse stood.

"I'm sorry ma'am, I gotta go."

"So sudden?"

Jesse grit his teeth.

"The jackass just ordered me down." he answered.

"Oh." Ana replied, giving an empathetic scoff.

"Mighty apologetic to walk out on you like this."

"I understand. We'll continue this conversation another time."

"I look forward to it."

_'You have three minutes.'_

Jesse grumbled to himself as he left Ana's office. Morrison's office was just ten feet to the right. Jesse considered knocking until he noticed that the blinds were shut, the universal signal that he was chewing someone out.

Jesse leaned up against the wall. As the seconds ticked by, Jesse felt more and more like he was a troubled third grader, waiting outside the principal's office. He heard stirring behind the door after just two minutes later, quickly followed by the sound of the doorknob being turned. To Jesse's surprise, a white faced Hanzo stepped out.

"Just sign it." Hanzo said before Jesse could even tip his hat.

"Howd--huh?"

"Just sign it. It will be easier."

"What the hell are you goin' on--"

"McCree." Morrison called from his office.

Hanzo took off.

Jesse sighed and sauntered into Morrison's office. He slumped down in the open chair in front of Morrison's desk. Morrison didn't even look up, just sifted through papers for a solid minute, giving Jesse too much time to think and stare into the eyes of the framed photos Morrison had on his wall, most of them old team shots and one a framed picture of Bill Murray.

Morrison couldn't have known about Hanzo. And even if he did, Jesse had no idea why Morrison would feel the need to get involved, although Jesse did manage to imagine the worst.

"You gonna lay it on me, or is this an interrogation kinda thing?" Jesse finally asked, realizing there was no end to this.

Morrison didn't answer, just slid a paper in front of Jesse. Jesse read the first few lines.

"Waiver of rights..." Jesse read. "For a romantic--hell is this?"

"A relationship disclosure."

Jesse stared. Morrison stared back.

"Why is this?" Jesse asked, knowing exactly why it was.

"Because of your dynamic with Mr. Shimada."

Jesse felt a wave of ice rush through him, lifting the hairs on the back of his neck.

"Look, Morrison," Jesse started, searching desperately for a way to get out of this, "it ain't a...relationship."

"Are you having intercourse?"

"No."

"You're under oath, son. Are you two having intercourse?"

"Isn't this some sort of violation of rights?" Jesse asked.

"No."

"A lie if I ever heard one. I ain't signin' shit, and I got the papers."

Jesse reached into his pocket and pulled out his worn copy of the U.S. constitution. He unfolded it along the heavy creases.

"5th amendment, right here." Jesse continued. " _No person shall be held to answer for a capital, or otherwise infamous crime, unless on a presentment or indictment of a Grand Jury._ "

Morrison scoffed. He reached into his own pocket and pulled out a sheet of paper that Jesse quickly recognized as an even more worn copy of the constitution.

"You left out a part." Morrison replied, pointing at the amendment. " _No person shall be held to answer for a capital, etcetera,_ except _in cases arising in the land or naval forces, or in the Militia, when in actual service in time of War or public dange_ \--"

"What I'm doing to Shimada ain't got nothing to do with war or public danger."

"It doesn't have to have direct relation to war to be an exception, it just has to happen during a war. Which, might I remind you, we are in the middle of."

Jesse sneered.

"So you think that when James Madison sat down to write this," he replied, pointing viciously at his own copy, "he was trying to rope in soldiers suspected of treason with soldiers suspected of rubbin' elbows? Madison may've been a Federalist, but even still, he couldn't of been _that_ dumb."

"You're an idiot. Sign the stupid waiver."

Jesse grit his teeth and crossed his arms, but Morrison made no indication that he was going to come anywhere near to backing down.

"Yankee." Jesse muttered.

Morrison didn't reply. To their mutual surprise, the door to Morrison's office opened. Jesse looked over to see Ana.

"Hey, Team America." she said. "Overwatch is international."

"Huh?" Morrison asked.

"Keep it down, please."

Jesse and Morrison were both silent as Ana shut the door. Jesse slid the constitution back into his pocket, and Morrison did the same with his own. Remembering why he was there, Jesse stared down at the paper in front of him. As much as he hated to admit it, his anger was starting to tire.

"Ok." Jesse started, a little calmer. "Let's say I do sign this. What happens?"

"Almost nothing." Morrison answered, cautiously perking up. "Nobody's going to be told. We're just not going to send you two out on missions together."

"Hanz and me work good together."

"Do you want to be put in a situation where you have to choose between him and the rest of the team? Trust me, son, you don't want that. Sign the fucking disclosure."

Jesse groaned.

"He'll kill me if I sign it." Jesse begged.

"He already signed it."

"How'd you get him to do that?"

With a little sigh, Morrison pulled out his tablet and turned it so that Jesse could see. Jesse squinted. At first he thought it was just an image of a staircase, shot from an overview, until he realized that it was footage, considering the changing time stamp in the corner. Upon closer inspection, Jesse recognized the staircase as the one that led from the range to central agent quarters.

"What is this?" Jesse asked.

"Security footage. This is from two weeks ago."

Jesse watched as two figures came into the shot. It wasn't hard at all to recognize who they were, considering the attire, nor was it hard to all at once realize where this was going.

"If you look here," Morrison said, pointing at the screen, "you can see that you look kinda surprised when he kisses you, but you warm up to it quick. And right here is where he gets embarrassed and starts looking at his shoes."

Turning bright red, Jesse slammed his face into the table.

"Please stop." he begged, muffled by his arms. He couldn't believe that he'd gotten caught with someone at work. 

Gotten caught with a _man._

"Hey, don't put your head down. You're gonna miss the part were you both jump. Pretty sure it was because that's when I called a meeting. I didn't even know you two were doing this at the time, so I think all I can say is excellent timing on my part."

"I hate you."

"I know."

Jesse wondered, just for a moment, if leaving Overwatch to fend for themselves against a terrorist organization bent on global fascism really would be that bad.

"In case you were wondering," Morrison said, "we're going to sit in this room and watch this together on replay until you sign the papers."

"Please, there has to be--"

"Aaaand, here's the ass pinch."

Eyes already closed, Jesse squeezed them further shut. Although the embarrassment he felt was strong, it was secondary to his fear of confronting Hanzo again, hearing the dreaded "we need to talk" phrase, followed by a "this is has simply gone on too far". But on the other hand, Jesse didn't know what else to do.

And it wasn't like the damage hadn't already been done.

"Fine. Fine." Jesse followed, sitting up and fanning his face. Palm starting to sweat, he reached for the waiver and signed his name next to Hanzo's kanji as Morrison, irritatingly underwhelmed, read from a folder that he must have grabbed when Jesse's head had been down.

"Thank you." Morrison said, placing the folder he was reading in the crook of his arm to grab the waver. "Took you long e--"

The folder under Morrison's arm slipped and crashed against Morrison's desk, sending three or four papers flying. One fluttered into Jesse's lap.

Jesse looked down. Even though he initially had no intentions to read the document, he was unable to turn his gaze away from the header that read 'TOP SECRET WATCHPOINT COORDINATES' and the numbers underneath, sixty-five, fifty-three, twenty-one.

"You weren't supposed to see that." Morrison said, face as white as Jesse's.

"Uh--"

"You don't tell anybody you saw that, alright? You take that to the grave. Understand?"

"Yes."

"Yes sir."

"Yes sir."

"Thank you. Get out."

Jesse stood, hands shaking. He got out.

 

~~~

 

After ten minutes of pacing through the hallway and unintentionally burning the Overwatch coordinates into his brain, Jesse decided that every second he spend not knowing how Hanzo was taking it, he was going to combust. He set out across Watchpoint, searching everything from the gun ranges to the laundry room until he found Hanzo in the corner of the gym, perched in a metal chair like the thinker while he did bicep curls with an infuriatingly large weight.

Hanzo looked up as Jesse stepped forward until they were about twenty feet from one another, but continued to pump the barbell in his hand.

"Hey." Jesse greeted.

Hanzo looked down. Jesse had no idea what he was going to get. A scolding, silence, or just an order to leave.

"I've not told anyone." Hanzo replied, right on the dot.

Jesse blinked, surprised. Hanzo looked borderline apologetic, although Jesse could have been reading it wrong.

"I didn't, neither."

"I tried to tell him we aren't--"

"Yeah, me too."

A moment passed. Hanzo's mouth was turned downward into something that surpassed his standard frown. Jesse felt like something went unsaid, but he wasn't quite sure what it was. It was obvious to him that they had surpassed the original agreement for casual sex. He wasn't sure if it was obvious to Hanzo, but he often wondered.

"You know, I think it's alright." Jesse said. "Long as you're holding up OK."

"I was more concerned as to how you were."

"Me? I'm alright. Reckon Morrison's such a prude he still thinks holdin' hands counts as second base."

Hanzo scoffed out a chuckle. Although well executed, Jesse could tell that it was fake, considering the slight overplay and the fact that Jesse doubted Hanzo knew what the base-system was. Jesse forced a smile. It was horribly uncomfortable, but at the same time, Jesse couldn't help but feel relieved, considering the fact that Hanzo hadn't yet brought up the possibility of ending things as they were.

"I suppose we will no longer be attending the battlefield together." Hanzo said, face maybe a bit dismayed.

"Yeah, well, least I won't have to feel inadequate next to you anymore."

This time, Hanzo's chuckle was real. Jesse's chest swelled at the sound.

"So that is how you retain so much self-worth." Hanzo replied. "By distancing yourself from anyone even remotely remarkable."

"Nothing much gets past you, does it now."

Hanzo shook his head with a smile. Jesse flashed back to the meeting that had gotten them into this mess in the first place.

"Hey, love to talk to you about this," he followed, a few beats later, "but before we got off the subject, there was something strange that happened to me in Morrison's office that I wanted to talk to you about."

"What?"

"Well, he had this fold--"

"You two would not believe the day I just had." Hana interrupted as she barged into the gym so quickly that the door frame creaked. It was probably for the best, as Jesse realized quickly that telling Hanzo about the coordinates probably wasn't a good idea.

"Did you finally overdose on Mountain Dew?" Jesse asked.

"God, I wish."

Hana sat down on the ground between them. Hanzo went back to pumping iron, all though his face seemed somewhat attentive.

"So first, I found out that someone hacked into my streamelements page and reprogrammed my moderator bot to only allow racial slurs while blocking every normal word, instead of the other way around." Hana started. "And then, I accidentally clicked on my spam folder and discovered that I had three-hundred and seventeen death threats for not playing Minecraft last week."

As much as Jesse liked technology, he was hit with the sudden worry that parents would soon never be able to understand their children anymore.

"And then Commander Morrison called me into his office to complain about the volume of my 2AM streams." Hana finished, counting on her fingers. "Oh, and I also guess I was almost shot in Guatemala."

"Yeah, we've all been busy."

"Did someone say busy?" Genji called, waltzing through the door. Jesse wouldn't have put it passed him to have been standing outside with his ear pressed up against the door until an opportunity presented itself.

With that, a full scale conversation launched, filled almost entirely with complaints about work, which Jesse happily added to, specifically in regards to Morrison. As it turned out, Genji had also been called into Morrison's office on account of his "lights being too bright". Jesse heavily began to suspect that Morrison had a hangover.

Eventually, Hanzo left as more people started to trickle in, but not before giving Jesse a tiny wave goodbye. All things considered, Jesse felt pretty OK. It had been a stressful day, but they'd be alright.

 

~~~~

 

Two nights passed without any incident. Jesse hadn't seen Hanzo much, but their small interactions had been comfortable and they'd made plans for a few days in advance.

In the present, much to his surprise, Jesse stood in a little half circle with every on-base member of Overwatch in the Bastion's garden, surrounding a decorated table and a simple, brass photo of a woman with peach skin and dark hair on her wedding day. At the other side of the circle, Ana stood on a small pile of dirt and stones as she read from the papers in her hands.

"...may seem confusing to some of you why we are choosing to spend time honoring one of our enemies, especially one so great." Ana monologued. "However, it should be remembered that at its core, in its purest intentions, Overwatch was created as an organization of peace. And as an organization of peace, we believe in two things: that there is no need for unnecessary cruelty, and that we are defined by the way we treat our enemies once they can no longer harm us."

To Jesse's left, Fareeha shifted her weight. To his right, Genji stood with both faceplates missing. Hanzo, who to Jesse's immense thankfulness had shown up, stood on one end of the semi-circle next to Winston, while Lena stood at the other end with her face twisted in what was obviously an attempt not to cry.

"We know very little of Amélie Lacroix's life," Ana continued, "especially before she became what she was, but we know that she was thirty-six years old. She was born in Annecy, France. In her early and middle life, she studied ballet dance. When she was twenty-five years old, she was stolen from her husband, an Overwatch operative, and turned into the killing machine that we now know as Widowmaker."

Jesse took his hat off and strapped it to his back.

"As Widowmaker, she stole the lives of countless Overwatch employees and our political allies--

Cutting herself off, Ana took a moment to wipe her eye with her hand.

"--and she tore families apart, she killed our mentors."

Jesse let himself be used as post, wrapping an arm around Fareeha as she broke into a fit of silent sobbing, and the other around Genji as he followed suit. Despite the fact that he was in public, Jesse felt a strong temptation to join them. He ignored it out of habit.

"But we should also recognize that Amélie Lacroix's story is one of great loss and complexity. To become the killing machine that she was, Amélie was captured, tortured, and brainwashed. Unspeakable things were done do her. Although the deep loathing some of us may feel for her is understandable and justifiable, it is important for us to remember that there is more to a person than what we understand of them, and that human beings are limited creatures."

Jesse frowned. He hadn't known that Amélie had been brainwashed. And alongside torture, Jesse considered brainwashing to be the most horrific and unforgivable fate a human could ever face.

"Our current situation is a delicate one. It should be noted, however, that we do not regret her death. Lacroix, in her most recent state, was a danger to society, a danger to innocent lives, and a danger to humanity. We are not so naive to believe that blood must never be spilled. So we will celebrate the fact that she is gone, but I urge you all, in this moment, to remember Amélie Lacroix for who she was before her corruption. Although I neither I nor Commander Morrison ever knew her well, I can say that at one point in her life, she was a kind woman, who worked with her husband to protect innocent people from terrorism."

Ana paused, folding up the paper in front of her and placing it on the table, next to one of the candles. Jesse felt a familiar wave of immense respect and affection for Ana Amari.

"In conclusion," she finished, "we cannot know for sure, although we suspect that the death of Widowmaker is what Amélie would have wanted."

Jesse swallowed as Ana's words hit him. He felt a strange concoction of thankfulness, peace, and emotional exhaustion as he took the bandana from around his neck and handed it to Genji. Ana raised her hands as Jesse absentmindedly tapped his tongue against the roof of his mouth.

"We will now take a moment of silence." said Ana. "Feel free to send a prayer to any god or gods you choose."

 _'What is this, Woodstock?'_ Jesse thought, unable to help himself.

 _'Did you mean to send that to me?'_ Genji sent over the neuro-comm.

Jesse almost jumped.

_'No, I did not.'_

"Alright." Ana said after a minute passed. "You're free. But be mindful."

"We love you, Ana!" Hana shouted.

Reinhardt clapped loudly in agreement, and everyone let out a happy laugh.

"I love all of you too." Ana smiled.

After that, the group dispersed. Respectful conversations started, gradually becoming louder. After giving Ana a hug and voicing his appreciations, Jesse found Hanzo standing silently by the table. Jesse made his way over, wanting to say goodnight and wondering how he was holding up.

Hanzo greeted him with a little wave before returning his attention to the table, staring at the photo.

"Raise your opinion of Overwatch at all?" Jesse asked, less in an attempt to nudge and more out of genuine curiosity to if Hanzo's mindset had changed.

"It raised my opinion of the individuals in it." Hanzo replied.

Jesse might have been crazy, and he might have been only looking at him from the side and not head on, but he could have sworn he saw Hanzo smile.

"I suppose the real question is if it raised yours." Hanzo followed.

"Huh?"

Hanzo twisted his mouth in thought before shaking his head dismissively.

"Never mind. It is still--forget I said anything."

"Uh, alright." Jesse replied.

Hanzo turned away from the table.

"You are wet." he said.

Jesse looked down to see that he had two wet spots on his flannel, one from both Fareeha and Genji.

"Yeah, well," Jesse replied, scratching the back of his head, "it happens."

"Would you like to join me for a walk?"

"Yes. Yes I would."

Jesse followed with a smile as Hanzo took off, leading them somewhere more private. In the back of his mind, Jesse wished he could hold Hanzo's hand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~~Hey little notice for anyone reading. pls expect delays in my writing. Im currently doing some thinking regarding if i want to continue with my writing. over the passed few weeks, ive been having this growing worry that the things i like to write about; real issues and ethics and critical examinations of cultures (even ones that the people who i know read my work hold morally sacred), are not my business to write about with characters that aren't my own. ive been justifying it to myself for a long time by saying that the characters i write with are just concepts and so i can make them into anything i want, but now i feel the opposite conclusion, that that's exactly why I shouldn't, feels more accurate. i no longer feel its my business to be provocative or try to make characters three dimensional under blizzard's name.~~
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> On second thought who gives a fuck


	10. Proyas

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry in advance also ur weclom

Another three months passed.

 _'Are we still meeting today?'_ Genji sent.

Jesse did his best not to flinch, still not completely used to the new comms, even after almost half a year. Dropping his book, he found his phone wedged between two of the cushions on his couch and checked the time.

 _'Yeah. My place, or yours?'_ he replied.

_ 'Mine. I have a new mat for you to be bested by me on.'_

Jesse got to his feet, grabbing his coat as he neared towards his front door.

_ 'Just like last time, huh?'_

_ 'Last time was a tie.' _

_ 'Only because you cheated.' _

_ 'It was not my fault you forgot to wear a cup.' _

Swearing at the door, Jesse went back inside his quarters and put on a cup.

The halls were quiet, like they usually were on Sundays. Jesse walked with a skip in his step. He was always happy to have a day off, not to mention the dinner plans with Hanzo he had to look forward to.

Absentmindedly, Jesse turned the corner to bump into Hana, who was exiting the breakroom with a messy stack of papers. He tipped his hat hello, and she waved in return. Expecting her to leave it at that, Jesse almost started to continue on his way, but stopped himself when he saw the wild look in Hana's eyes, one that suggested she might have actually been seeking him out.

"Done!" Hana said happily, thrusting the stack of papers into Jesse's hands. Jesse struggled to group them before they spilled out.

"Huh?" he asked.

"I got you off. You aren't a felon anymore."

Jesse blinked. He turned his gaze to the papers in his hands, scanning the first paragraph of the one on top to see that it was either a legal document that verified exactly what Hana had just said, or a very convincing fake.

"Am I on one of those prank videos?" Jesse asked, scanning his surroundings for a camera.

"Nope!"

Jesse looked back down at the papers. When he sifted through the others to make sure they weren't blank, he found they were pretty official too, coated in legalities and bureaucratic bullshit.

"You sure?" Jesse asked. "Cause I'm about to say the every word you can't say on television."

"Feel free." Hana shrugged.

" **[redacted]** , **[redacted]** , **[redacted]** , **[redacted]** , **[redacted]** , **[redacted]** , and tits."

"You can say 'tits' now."

"Well, how about that?"

Hana scoffed impatiently and shook her head. Jesse began to sift through the papers, one more time.

"How'd you do it?" he asked.

"I asked Morrison."

"And he did it? I've asked him like a hundred times..."

"He said it was easy, that Overwatch has plenty of experience with judicial extortion."

 _'Did you clear my bounty?'_ Jesse sent Morrison.

_ 'You owe me, fuck head.' _

Jesse closed his mouth quickly, realizing that it was more open than it ought to be.

"So I'll see you on Monday?" Hana asked. Jesse flashed back to the conference a few months ago and the promise he'd made while viciously inebriated.

"Oh." he replied. "Uh, I suppose I did say I would do that."

"Perfect!" Hana replied, turning her shoulders back towards the break room door. "And that you'd bring Hanzo."

Jesse opened his mouth to reply, but Hana disappeared back into the breakroom before he could argue.

Thinking about it, Jesse almost groaned at the thought of having to explain the situation to Hanzo and get him to go, but his dismay was short lived, as it was hard to frown as a newly freed man. Continuing on his way, Jesse neared closer to Genji's door. Genji greeted him with open arms, gave Jesse twenty minutes straight of shit talk, and then proceeded to lose to him at five rounds of sparring in a row.

Jesse had met Genji Shimada almost ten years ago, through their joint assignments in Blackwatch. At first, the two of them hadn't gotten along, with Genji complaining that Jesse smelled like horse shit and Jesse complaining that Genji was too "murdery". Ana, fed up, eventually ordered the two of them to start sparring together on off-mission Sundays. Gabe had warned her that they would rip one another apart, but to everyone's surprise, the contrary happened, with the two of them quickly taking a surprise liking to each other. Their Sunday sparring sessions eventually branched out into more than just beating the shit out of each other.

To Jesse's delight, they picked up again once Jesse had rejoined Overwatch with their pattern of available Sundays, continuing to spar, watch important films, exchange important parts of their respective cultures, and discuss photography.

"Here's Hanzo doing shots..." Jesse said, scrolling through his photos as he held his phone so that Genji could see. "Here's Hanzo drinking a six pack through a funnel..."

"Oh." Genji replied, shifting his weight next to Jesse on the couch. Jesse took a short second to wipe his forehead of old sweat.

"Here's Hanzo drinking Guinnesses with the prime minister..."

"Do go on."

"Here's Hanzo Riverdancing on the table..."

"Why does he know how to do that?"

"You're asking me?"

"Show me the next one."

Jesse swiped to the next photo with a grin. It was also a photo of Hanzo dancing, but this time, he was dressed as a hobbit.

"Send that to me." Genji ordered immediately.

"Done." Jesse replied, sending the image. "Here's--"

Jesse cut himself off and dropped his phone as a different image of Hanzo popped up one the screen. Genji blinked.

"I...um." Jesse said quietly, struggling to keep his shit together. "I thought I moved that picture to a different folder."

"Why was he still dressed as a hobbit?"

"Uh."

"Was he wearing your hat?"

Ears pink, Jesse rubbed his temple. Panic started to prickle under his skin.

"You appear to be upset." Genji said.

"I wasn't supposed to let you see that. Kinda promised I wouldn't let anybody know."

Genji squinted.

"I've been known." he replied.

"...You've been what?"

"I've been aware that you and him were non-platonically engaged for a while."

Jesse raised his eyebrow and opened his mouth as stupidly as he could manage. He hadn't told anyone, and he seriously doubted Hanzo had either.

"How'd you know?"

"Common sense."

Jesse scowled. Genji grinned.

"We ain't that obvious..." Jesse mumbled. "Are we?"

"Perhaps not to everyone, but considering that I've known you both long enough to see the cues you both respectively give when harboring affection, it is to me."

"Huh."

Genji fell silent. Jesse's anxieties began to fade, knowing that he hadn't actually changed anything, and that Genji had the decency not to gossip.

"Well, in that case, I suppose I can trust you to keep another secret?" Jesse asked, suddenly struck with the desire to discuss his private life before it killed him.

"I am like a sealed hull. What is your secret?"

"We ain't--uh--we ain't together. At least, not officially."

"What do you mean? I thought you had been intertwined for several months."

"Yeah. Eight. I think we call it "friends with benefits".

Genji raised an eyebrow into his forehead piece.

"And are you fully satisfied with this title?" he asked.

"Can't say that I am, although I'll take what I can get."

"How did this happen?"

"Half a year ago, he asked me if I wanted to start--screwing him for health benifits. We never really...stopped."

"And you would like something more?"

"Well, I don't know. He gives me a lot. More than I was expecting. Suppose it would be nice to know that he, uh, feels the same way."

Genji stared and Jesse felt a familiar note of shame to be discussing his nonplatonic relationships, especially with another man. However, it was quickly replaced with a sudden adrenaline rush and realization that talking about his feelings would spite his father's grave.

 _'Fuck you, dad.'_ Jesse thought, clicking his tongue dismissively.

 _'User_Name Seamus McCree not found.'_ a voice replied in Jesse's head, robotic and inauthentically female.

Jesse flinched.

"Are you alright?" Genji asked, eyeing Jesse with uncertainty.

"Nothing." Jesse replied, rubbing the back of his neck. "What were we talking about?"

"My brother."

"Oh yeah."

"How often does he want to see you?"

"'Bout every third day or so."

"And how often does he want to...to..."

"Two times a week. I've counted. Sometimes we sneak a third in if we have a long night or morning."

Genji chuckled.

"What?" Jesse asked.

"The numbers you gave. Once, at a colleague's wedding, while Hanzo was very drunk, I overheard him announcing to one of the bridesmaids; 'Whenever anyone expresses interest in becoming involved with me, I give them the warning that they will not get a honeymoon phase of lust with me, nor will they ever experience the unimaginable suffering that would be living with me. What they will get, however, is twice every calendar week with me until the failure of either our union, or my--my _phallus.'"_

Genji was not able to finish his statement without breaking into a little snicker.

"That how he flirts?" Jesse asked, feeling himself smile as he processed both the image and the implications.

"I'm not sure. When I consider my brother, I think it just as likely that he was simply trying to make conversation."

Jesse nodded.

"Hanzo has always had a hard time making friends, even when he was very young." Genji followed.

Jesse had both an easy and difficult time believing that. He had an easy time because he'd seen Hanzo in crowds, but a difficult time because even still, he couldn't possibly understand how anyone could find Hanzo's inability to understand or at least lack of regard for even the most culturally universal of social norms anything short of adorable.

"So, uh, what do you think?" Jesse asked.

"About what?"

"You think he likes--me?"

"I am as sure that he wishes to elope with you as I am sure of your dual emotional immaturity."

"Mean."

Genji laughed again. Jesse joined him for a moment, although his mouth quickly twisted as he remembered his concerns.

"Do you think I should tell him?" asked Jesse.

To Jesse's surprise and mild dismay, Genji didn't immediately nod. Instead, he rubbed the metal draping over his forehead as he looked at the air next to Jesse's head.

"I don't know." Genji admitted. "It seems intuitive that I should say yes, although with Hanzo..."

Genji looked away. Jesse frowned.

"I cannot say, Jesse. Perhaps you should give it a few years before attempting to put matters out in the open." Genji followed.

Jesse felt a wave of frustration at no one in particular at the thought of having to wait a few years to hold Hanzo's hand. Since the beginning, he'd felt almost completely content with what Hanzo gave him, but a tiny, dangerous part of him that didn't go away no matter how much he tried not to think about it wanted more, wanted the certainty that Hanzo felt the same way and was going to stick around. When Jesse looked to the right side to check Genji's face, Jesse saw that he too looked conflicted.

"Something wrong?" Jesse asked.

"Oh." Genji replied, brows coming together. "It is foolish."

"That's alright."

Genji clasped his hand together in his lap. He shifted his weight once to each side before coming to rest in the middle.

"I cannot help but wish that my brother saw me more favorably." said Genji.

Jesse frowned again. He felt a little guilty for complaining about not being closer to Hanzo when Genji barely saw him at all.

"Really wish things were better between you two." he replied.

"As do I. But some things simply cannot be."

Genji made a face that was so pitiful that Jesse's heart cracked. He couldn't even begin to imagine the kind of pain that Genji'd had to deal with, but he did his best to try.

"You know that it ain't cause he hates you, right? Reckon he's just too ashamed to be around you."

"I...believe you are correct. Although occasionally, parts of me forget. And I can never shake the feeling that even if he does love me, that he is not proud of me."

"Ah, he's proud a' you. He thinks you're kind of a beatnik, but he wouldn't be here if he wasn't."

"It does not always feel that way."

"Yeah, well, yeah..."

Even though Jesse's response was poor, Genji gave a melancholic sort of nod. Jesse let their knees fall together naturally, knowing that Genji liked to be touched when he was sad.

"Hey, I had an idea I wanted to run by you." Jesse followed when Genji didn't respond.

"What is it?"

"Well, I know Zenyatta helped you rake through a lotta muck, and I thought he might be able to do the same thing for your brother."

Next to him, Jesse felt Genji's spine straighten.

"Yes, I agree." Genji replied, life returning to his voice. "Have you asked?"

"Few times. He shot it down. Any suggestions?"

"No. At this point, I suspect you know my brother better than I."

Jesse supposed that was true.

"Perhaps it would help raise his trust towards that which is not human." Genji added, eyeing the joints of his metal fingers.

Jesse's heart broke again. Up until then, he hadn't even thought of how Hanzo's weariness towards omnics would affect his half-metal brother. Although he wouldn't call it anger, Jesse felt a note of irritation towards Hanzo for being so thoughtless about how his actions affected others. Jesse wondered if maybe he should have been harder on Hanzo instead of letting everything slide.

"I apologize. I am over-indulging in self-pity." Genji followed a moment later. Jesse shook his head.

"That ain’t true." Jesse replied. "You know what? I'm gonna keep pushing him. You deserve to be treated nice, Genji."

"Hmm."

Genji's mouth softened. Jesse might have said something else, had he not been interrupted by a sudden jingle coming from the direction of Genji.

"That's my alarm." Genji sighed, pulling out his phone and turning off the sound. Jesse stood, understanding that this was his cue.

"Gotta mission?" he asked.

"I have a colonoscopy."

"Uh, alright."

"I've been having bowel irritation."

"...Ok, Genji."

Jesse walked with Genji to the front door. He was opening his mouth to say goodbye when Genji got a sudden look on his face, like he'd remembered something.

Before you go." Genji said, putting a hand on Jesse's shoulder. "Can I give you a few words of advice?"

"Hmm?"

"If you want to keep any pictures of Hanzo that imply a relationship, print them out and hide them in a shoe box. Don't keep electronic copies."

Jesse remembered the photo that had started their conversation. He nodded, not needing any further clarification.

"Yeah." he replied. "Should've thought of that. I'll see you next Sunday?"

"As well as next Monday. Are you enjoying your time as a free man?"

Jesse chuckled, suddenly remembering.

"Can't say that I am." he answered, giving Genji a quick wave over his shoulder as he left. "Feels disingenuous."

"Calm down."

 

~~~~

 

Forty decades ago and five-thousand miles away, Jesse McCree was born in the back of a broken down pick-up truck in rural New Mexico.

Back then, the dynamic between human and omnics was tense at best, especially during the job crises. Keep out signs directed at omnics littered restaurants and bars, almost as prominently as in Northern Britain. But when Jesse was eight, all that changed when an omnic saved Sister Marta from a landslide. A movement for omnic rights started and quickly grew, eventually climaxing down in the local bar when Sister Marta, completely plastered, tore up and stomped on the keep out sign she'd brought from the church.

Tears were shed. Hugs were given. Songs were written. Unions were formed. "Big Corporations" were denounced, insulted and deemed "unneeded". The movement spread, with other cities taking on their example, and New Mexico not only became the third state in North America to legalize interspecies marriage, but did so two years before California, to Jesse's petty sense of delight.

The events shaped how Jesse understood the concept of social change.

"What do you think of Talon?"

Jesse's mouth fell open, ever so slightly at Hanzo's question, a single bean sprout falling from his mouth. It was the first thing Hanzo'd said since they started eating, them both opting instead of being conversational to shovel food into their mouths, which was the usual. Jesse supposed the question wasn't so strangely brash, at least not from Hanzo. In fact, Jesse realized he was a bit surprised that they'd never talked about it before.

"Ain't too fond of the members or the mission statement." Jesse answered.

"I agree."

"Not big on global fascism, either."

"As am I. At least, not when the dictator is anyone or anything but myself."

Jesse twirled his fork around his nearly-finished pad thai in thought, staring at the familiar wood pattern of his small dining table. Absentmindedly, he checked the time, making sure it was still a reasonable hour. Time sometimes got away from him when he was with Hanzo.

"What do you think of Overwatch?" Jesse asked, placing his phone on the table. "I know you got mixed feelings and that you really only came here because your brother asked, but that's about all I know."

"They destroyed my family's empire, although I no longer know if I believe that to be a regretful thing."

"Mmh."

"Overwatch is illusive. I can find very little information on what makes them tick, and I don't consider myself more than a pawn. I work for them, as I trust Genji's judgement and owe him my debt, but they do not have my unbreakable loyalty or trust."

"Yeah, I know what you mean."

Hanzo scratched his chin in thought as Jesse took the last bite of his food.

"I will say that I've grown to find Winston a tolerable man," said Hanzo, "although I still do not enjoy working with some of his more invasive technologies."

Closing the lid of his finished take-out box, Jesse nodded.

"Or the omnics." Hanzo added.

Jesse stared, jolted awake as something ran through him, like a lightning bolt of irritation in the front of his head, the same one that always struck when he was confronted with an obvious injustice.

He'd let this go on long enough.

"Hey, uh. I got a thought." Jesse stated as Hanzo put his food away.

"Hmm?"

"There's a certain conversation that I think we've been putting off for a little too long. Think I'd like to have it."

Hanzo's eyes opened wide, his eyebrows shooting up towards his hairline.

"What conversation?" Hanzo asked, cheeks draining ever so slightly of their color.

"I'd like to talk about your, uh, outdated views on our omnic friends."

To Jesse's surprise, Hanzo let out a tiny sigh that almost sounded like relief. The bits of pink returned to his face, although Jesse didn't really have the energy to question it.

"Look." Jesse followed. "I've been patient. I can put up with all the paranoia, and all the weird phone shit. But I stop when you're at the risk of devaluing real lives."

Hanzo's mouth flattened. The first signs of irritation started to show on his face, but Jesse refused to back his own gaze down. Hanzo was an adult, and Jesse was going to treat him as such.

"I have no desire to have this conversation with you, especially not at this time." Hanzo replied.

"Too bad. We're having it now."

"I understand that equality is very important to you. And I can respect you for that. But I don't believe you understand my hesitations enough to evaluate them."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"What do you wish for me to do, Jesse? There is obviously something that you would like me to do."

"I want you to--to--"

Jesse cut himself off for a moment, realizing that he'd never actually asked himself that question.

"I want you to admit that you're being irrational." Jesse continued, scratching his head. "And I want you to think about how when you're all cold and judgmental, how that affects other people. Because it really don't seem like you do."

"Irrational?"

"And I think you should go to one of Zenyatta's little prayer meetings."

Hanzo stared. Jesse crossed his arms over his chest.

"I don't want to." Hanzo said, his eyes narrowing.

Jesse didn't like to see Hanzo make that face, especially not at him, but he stared him down anyway, clinging tight to his priorities.

"Why not?"

"I have no desire to be around him."

"Cause he's a bot?" Jesse asked, the words sharp.

"Partially." Hanzo answered. "I fail to see how it is any of your business."

Jesse felt a hot flash of anger spark in him. He couldn't understand how Hanzo could possibly believe something like that.

"It's everybody's business, Hanzo. When you start being afraid of people and givin 'em weird stares, and making little comments, it's everybody's business."

"I don't think you understand my--"

"Why does it matter to you what's in someone's head? Meat or metal, it's all the same shit. I learned that from you, by the way. 'Bout how brains work?"

"Why do you assume that is--"

"Echo is my friend. And I like the Bastion, and I like Zenyatta, and I like the goddamn coffee maker."

"Such is your right."

Jesse grit his teeth. He loved Hanzo to death, and he knew Hanzo well enough to know he wasn't a monster, but the sad look Genji had given him earlier willed Jesse to keep pushing.

"How do you think your brother feels?" Jesse spat, punctuating himself with an elbow on the table.

Hanzo rubbed his goatee, eyes narrow. Jesse wondered for a moment if he'd gone too far, and although he was too worked up at the moment to care, he suspected he might later.

"You are very angry." Hanzo said, words more collected than Jesse would have expected.

"Hell yeah, I'm angry. I--"

Jesse cut himself off when he noticed that Hanzo was looking him up and down, dark eyes set like he was considering something.

"What are you doing?" Jesse asked.

"Nothing. Continue."

Jesse wracked his brain, trying to remember where he'd left off or what his plan was.

"Well," Jesse started, "I..."

Hanzo reached across the table and grabbed Jesse's phone. Confused, Jesse trailed off as Hanzo held down the power button before sliding it back across the table to Jesse, just in time for Jesse to see the 'shutting down' animation.

Jesse's brows came together. He shifted his thighs awkwardly in his seat as he felt a short, incredibly ill-timed wave of sexual arousal. Utterly confused for more reasons than one, Jesse twisted his mouth to the side.

"Why'd you do that?" he asked.

"I wanted to keep this conversation private." Hanzo answered, tilting his head down to untie his silk ribbon. After a quick finger-combing, Hanzo's hair spilled free down his shoulders. Jesse felt another flash of arousal, this one longer, along with the realization that albeit unintentionally, he'd been classically conditioned.

Jesse narrowed his eyes as far as he could while still retaining his ability to see.

"What the hell are you doing, Shimada?" he asked.

Hanzo flashed Jesse a hot little glare that did little to calm the growing storm of sensations from Jesse's brain to his core.

"If we are going to discuss this, I wish for that discussion to be civilized." Hanzo explained. "You are not acting civilized."

"So you're gonna do--this?" Jesse asked.

Hanzo stood, both hands at the tie around the waist of his full length yukata. When he removed them, the garment fell easily to the floor, along with the rest of his overclothes.

Jesse sucked in a breath when he noticed that Hanzo had somehow managed to get himself half hard, obvious enough against the fabric of his short, grey briefs. Despite his aggravation, Jesse burned a hole through Hanzo's hips, intrigued by the subtle movements as Hanzo took a few steps towards him until they were just a few feet apart.

"You are free to continue with your animated argument, if you would like." Hanzo said. With ease, he rocked once to each side, showing off the twist of his torso and reminding Jesse what his naked waist looked like.

Jesse was guilty to admit that he had some interest in Hanzo's plans to distract him. He did his best to ignore it.

"Reckon you underestimate my willpower." Jesse replied. "Kinda insulting, to say the least."

"Hmmm."

"We're gonna have this conversation if it's the last thing we do, Hanzo."

"Must we have it now?"

"Feels like I've been putting it off too long to do anythin' but."

"Alright then. Lead the way."

Jesse stared. Hanzo put out his arms, resting one under each of Jesse's elbows. Jesse cursed himself for letting it happen, too mesmerized by the curve of Hanzo's beautiful torso and the thin triangle of sparse hair that started a few inches below his navel. To Jesse's credit, he managed to resist the urge to shove his face into Hanzo's chest and take a bite.

"I'm still waitin' for you to respond." Jesse replied through his teeth, complying as Hanzo edged him up with his arms into a standing position.

"I do not feel you are, in your current state, able to listen to the nature of my hesitations intently enough to construct an argument that will challenge me." Hanzo replied as he positioned Jesse so that his back was to the side of the table.

Jesse wasn't sure what that meant, so he took it as an insult.

"You're a piece of work, you know that?" Jesse grunted, an extremely confusing combination of angry and aroused.

Hanzo pouted, his eyes fixed to Jesse's. They stayed fixed to Jesse's as he sunk to his knees, putting himself at eye level with Jesse's belt. Jesse didn't think it was very good for his case that he was noticeably straining against the fabric of his jeans.

"Christ." Jesse followed, feeling his cheeks heating pink.

"Continue. Assuage my bigotry."

Jesse set his jaw with irritation, half at Hanzo and half at himself when he realized the only argument his distracted brain could formulate was "don't be racist".

"Times are changing, Hanzo." Jesse tried. "Do you really wanna be on the... _o--oh._ "

Jesse trailed off when Hanzo tilted his head rubbed his cheek against the fabric covering his erection. Jesse brought a mouth to the back of his hand. He knew Hanzo well enough to know that if he said no, Hanzo would stop in a heartbeat. However, he found himself unwilling to give the command.

"Do I want to be on the what?" Hanzo asked, tugging at the buckle of Jesse's jeans but not undoing them.

"On the...the..."

Jesse watched as Hanzo pulled up his flannel to press a soft kiss under his navel, and then squeezed his eyes shut as Hanzo started to stroke the shadows of his iliac furrows that he'd manage to keep from Blackwatch.

"...wrong side a' history." Jesse finished.

Hanzo didn't reply, opting instead to press his open mouth over the front of Jesse's pants. Jesse's eyes found their ways over Hanzo's loose, dark hair, and Jesse longed to reach out and touch it, to feel it under his fingers as Hanzo worked his cock--

Maybe Jesse could handle finishing the conversation later.

"You make a very persuasive argument." Hanzo replied, flashing Jesse a challenging flick of his brow.

"Will you shut up?"

Hanzo replied by letting his mouth fall open, his tongue darting quickly across his top lip.

Swearing loudly for a variety of reasons, Jesse undid his belt and the front of his jeans. He kept them on, but tucked himself out of his underwear. Hanzo waited patiently as he did so, mouth still undone.

"Asshole." Jesse said as he slipped himself through Hanzo's parted lips.

"Mmmhm."

Hanzo's mouth was tight and warm. He slid it up and down Jesse twice, nice and slow. It was more a tease than anything else, and Jesse quickly realized that he was being urged to take charge, because apparently just seducing him out of his higher brain functions hadn't been just enough for Hanzo.

Jesse groaned. He was careful as as he fucked himself in Hanzo's hot, velvety mouth, still angry but having no intentions of causing Hanzo physical discomfort. He let his hips move naturally, the way they wanted to, in slow rolls. Hanzo helped a little, working his soft tongue on the underside of the head, but not a lot, as Jesse was left in charge of the rhythm. Hanzo hummed, too close to smug, sending pleasant vibrations up Jesse's spine.

"You-- _ah_ \--you ain't off the hook yet." Jesse warned.

Hanzo pulled back, just enough to speak, his lips resting against the head of Jesse's hard-on.

"Are you going to punish me?" Hanzo replied, voice innocently questioning as he looked up through his lashes.

Jesse felt his face and chest flush. He knew Hanzo could tell, and he knew Hanzo recognized it as the kind of flush he got when he was real turned on. Jesse had to open his mouth twice before he could respond, finding it difficult to start talking over the little noises his mouth was making.

"We're gonna talk about--your contributions--" Jesse stammered, "towards systemic oppression--when I'm done."

"Are you sure a spanking would not be more suitable?"

Jesse felt two sensations, one after the other. The first was a wave of deep arousal that had him twitching noticeably and sent a drop of precum rolled down his shaft. Jesse played Hanzo's words again in his head, captivated by the thought, even though he knew that a thought was all it was probably going to be. The second sensation he felt was humor, as the situation had become so utterly absurd that Jesse found himself snickering helplessly.

He did his best to keep his laughter short and quiet, quickly turning it into a cough, not wanting to have to explain it to Hanzo. Thankfully not seeming to notice, Hanzo parted his lips again and Jesse slid himself back inside.

All the hot anger that Jesse had felt during their earlier conversation turned into a different kind of heat, one that urged him to grab the sides of Hanzo's head and thrust in his mouth until he came. Threading both his hands through Hanzo's hair, Jesse slowed his hips just enough to speak.

"You tell me if I hurt you, alright, you goddamn jackass?" Jesse ordered.

Hanzo nodded. He pulled away.

"I will obey." Hanzo replied before reattaching his mouth.

 _"Fuck._ "

On one hand, it more than captured Jesse's interest to see Hanzo acting so submissive and it did its job to keep him fully seduced, serving to tease at some of Jesse's more guilty fantasies. But on the other, Jesse knew that it was disingenuous, as Hanzo wasn't the one being dominated. But at the very least, Hanzo was clearly enjoying himself, his breath heavy with interest and from the way he was shifting it was apparent he was hungry for contact. He traced his hands up under Jesse's shirt, slow and methodical, and squeezing with approval in all the right places.

"Asshole." Jesse mumbled again.

Hanzo moaned and pressed his face forward, taking Jesse in deeper. Jesse was forced to look up, worried he was going to spill too quickly if he spent too much time watching himself disappear into Hanzo's mouth. Despite his original protests, he now didn't want this to be over too quickly.

Jesse was glad he was leaning against the table, as staying upright without it would have been difficult.

Hanzo's hair was soft around Jesse's fingers as he rocked into him. Jesse let his fingers massage Hanzo's scalp, partly for his own pleasure and partly because he knew how Hanzo liked to be treated when he was giving head. Hanzo was quiet as the seconds ticked by, aside from a few approving hums and a tiny noise of discomfort that Jesse recognized meant his mouth was getting tired.

"Don't worry, sweetheart, I'm almost there." Jesse murdered as his rhythm started to stutter.

Jesse's body was hopeless to do anything but rock into Hanzo's tight mouth, although he did manage to will his mind into a few passing thoughts of the conversation that he still wanted to have, at least until he started to feel so _good_ that his brain shut off completely, leaving him with just an intense, rapidly growing warmth in his pelvis. With his flesh hand, he tugged at Hanzo's hair.

"Gonna come." Jesse warned.

To his surprise, Hanzo pulled back like lightning, just far enough so the tip of Jesse's cock was an inch or so from his nose. Jesse sputtered in confusion as he started to peak, but after one look at Hanzo's expression, Jesse caught on to what he was being offered.

Groaning loudly as his stomach flipped over, Jesse got a hand around his erection and spilled himself over Hanzo's cheeks and open lips. Jesse gawked at the beautiful sight, absolutely loving it, knowing how much Hanzo loved getting painted--

It took about a second and a half for Jesse to realize what he'd done. He immediately zipped himself up as Hanzo stood, and reached out with his right hand to touch Hanzo's face apologetically.

"Why would you let me do that?" Jesse frowned, breath heavy with exhaustion and mild self-disgust. "You deserve better."

"I did not want to swallow." Hanzo explained, shrugging naturally.

Jesse was hit with a sudden note of shame as he started to feel like a neanderthal whose wife had jerked him off to calm him down. However, the shame quickly went away as he realized that Hanzo wasn't looking at him with any judgement, and also, that it had kind of worked.

"Hey, I'm uh, I'm sorry I got so hot-headed." Jesse said once his breath mellowed.

"It is alright. Would you like to continue with our discussion?"

Jesse's mouth twisted with surprise as Hanzo grabbed their take-out bag in search of an unsoiled napkin.

"Yeah, I would." he answered. "Surprised you're up for it."

"I would be pleased to discuss this with you. I simply did not want to speak to such a heated front."

"Yeah, I, uh, got that."

Jesse thought to himself for a minute about what he wanted to say, what he wanted to understand, and what his goal was. Sitting back down in his chair, Jesse tried his best to remove his stronger emotions from the topic, at least at this point in time, now having the sense to know that they needed to be moderated if results were truly desired.

"Look," Jesse started, "I just can't see how you can hate machines so much when you--when you kinda are one."

The words hung in the air as Hanzo locked their eyes together again. Despite how well Jesse felt he knew Hanzo, Jesse had absolutely no idea what reaction his observation would get. Hanzo pulled a clean napkin from the bottom of the bag, examining it carefully.

"I am not a very impressive one." Hanzo replied, his tone as simple as the words. Jesse tensed his brow in confusion so quickly that his eyes almost started to shake.

"What?" he asked.

"I am not a very impressive machine. I find no pride in admitting this, but it is true. "

"I don't understand."

Hanzo closed his mouth. Several long moments went by before he started to speak, and when he did, his voice was quiet. His eyes left Jesse's face for the first time since he'd stood, save for simple necessity.

"I do not deny that I am a machine. Specifically, I do not deny that I am a simplistic, primitive machine made from organic slime, scarcely more impressive than a child's potato canon. _They,_ however, were crafted expertly and deliberately from ideal material that are much more suited for constant improvements and upgrades. I understand that as we all stand now, we are essentially equals. But they've shown themselves able to reprogram their minds once, and how long until that happens again? How long until they are unfathomably physically and mentally superior to us, due to the frighteningly exponential rate of technological growth potential? Not only do I see it as an almost guaranteed inevitability that they will surpass us, but I fear, and rationally so for my, shall I say, my unruly species' future when looked upon from the perspective of gods with an agenda that may not coincide with our very existence." Hanzo explained as he wiped the splattered semen from his face. "I am not so foolish to have even a smattering of doubt that if they were to attack us again, we would lose, very quickly."

"...oh..." Jesse replied.

Jesse scratched the back of his head as he reconsidered his entire world view. He wasn't sure if Hanzo was right about the level of threat that artificial intelligence inherently posed to humanity, although the idea did sound a little less crazy coming from Hanzo than from a man with a tinfoil hat on the side of the street. Jesse supposed that, at the very least, some of Hanzo's previous behaviors started made a lot more sense.

"If I believed peace was something of probable likelihood, I would not be so paranoid. But I do not believe peace is probable, so I am." Hanzo said. "Why are you making that face?"

"Hey, I thought this was gonna be just metaphor for racism. Now it's all complicated."

"I would hope not. Robots would make a terrible metaphor for racism. Humans and omnics are actually different beings."

"Huh..."

Hanzo laid a hand on the table in silence as Jesse thought to himself again, watching as Hanzo repositioned his ignored erection in his briefs before sliding himself back into his yukata. He sat down in the chair opposite to Jesse.

"Alright, I got a few thoughts." said Jesse. Hanzo looked up.

"What?"

"Well, I get that your fears are rational, at least in the context of, uh..."

"My interpretation of reality?"

"Yeah. But I think that even though the fear is rational, I don't think it's fair to take that out on omnics, specially not individual ones. It ain't their fault."

To Jesse's relief, Hanzo's lips pursed in what resembled genuine thought.

"Perhaps I have been needlessly cold." Hanzo replied.

"Especially cause I don't think you should be talking to me about your concerns, cause there ain't much I can do. I think you should be talking to Zenyatta."

Hanzo frowned. His brows furrowed together into a look of dismay.

"I can't." he said.

"Why not?"

"If I accused him of being an inevitable threat to my species? He might try to kill m--"

Hanzo cut himself off, his eyes squinting with thought as well as what Jesse thought looked like skepticism, as well as the processing of new information.

"Zenyatta would kill you?" Jesse said slowly, edging Hanzo along. "The peace prophet in the hemp pants?"

"I suppose he is the ambassador to the human race."

"That he is."

Hanzo's mouth twisted to the side, his lashes fluttering with surprise.

"I will think about this." he said slowly.

Even though it wasn't a strict yes, Jesse's chest swelled with satisfaction at the authenticity of Hanzo's statement. Jesse felt a strong sense of accomplishment to not only have helped expand Hanzo's mind on the matter, but to have his own mind expanded as well.

Maybe expanded too much. Jesse was hit with a sudden uncertainty towards the future of the human race, as sudden images of its extinction, enslaving, or at least, redundancy flashed through his mind's eye. However, he quickly banished the thoughts from his mind by thinking back to the unique situation that had led them to this conversation.

"Can't believe you sucking me off actually aided things along." Jesse said, shaking his head.

"I suppose you are only human."

Jesse chuckled.

"Speaking of our constructive discussion," Hanzo followed, "is there anything else you would like to say?"

"Not that I can think of. What about you?"

"I have two requests."

"Alright."

Hanzo's body shifted as he uncrossed and recrossed his legs, resting his weight onto an elbow under his chin.

"The first is simple." Hanzo started, looking down at the table. "I would like it if you would refrain from bringing my relationship with my brother into future disagreements."

Jesse frowned, remembering what he'd said. He kicked himself for having not had the judgement to stop himself.

"Of course." he replied. "I shouldn't a' done that, and I'm so sorry that I--"

"I understand. I understand that you felt it was--"

"I'll do my damndest not to do it again."

Hanzo's mouth softened.

"I believe you." said Hanzo. "You have a habit of honoring what I ask of you. I wish I was better at voicing my appreciations for this trait, as well as for who you are."

Jesse gave a sheepish little scoff.

"Much obliged." he replied, feeling an sheepish smile creep on his face.

"That was the first thing I wished to say."

"What's the second?"

Hanzo stood up. Once again, Jesse was quick to notice the tent he was pitching.

"I am terribly horny." Hanzo followed.

Jesse’s chest shook with laughter, fully endeared. Scooting his chair a few inches away from the table, he patted his lap.

"Come here." he said. "I'll take care of you."

Hanzo walked around the table took a forward seat in Jesse's lap, his legs falling to Jesse's sides. Against Jesse's stomach, Hanzo's cock strained. Jesse, still in a refractory period, couldn't fully appreciate it, although he did find it adorable when Hanzo frowned and pawed at his flannel-covered chest with feline-like frustration.

"Cute." Jesse said before smushing his face into Hanzo's uncovered chest. He traced a few heavy kisses up Hanzo's torso in a gesture that was more of a tease than anything else, but Hanzo's body started to relax.

"Why must you mock me?" Hanzo sighed.

"Ain't mocking."

As always, Jesse found himself enjoying the taste of Hanzo's skin, the smoothness to it, as well as the raw hardness underneath. He slowly ran his hands from the thighs in his lap to Hanzo's upper back, pulling him closer. Mellowed as he was, Jesse would have been content with a slow and lazy affair, but Hanzo seemed to disagree, as he started to move his hips in tiny rutting motions, rubbing himself impatiently into Jesse's stomach. Jesse pulled his head up.

"What can I do you for, Hanzo?" he asked, locking their eyes as he continued to rub.

"I am indecisive. It is your choice."

Jesse thought to himself for a moment. Having had a good nine and a half minutes, Jesse's dick twitched with new interest as he replayed something Hanzo had said from earlier.

"Is spanking still on the table?" he asked, knowing it was probably a pipe dream.

A very obvious spark of interest flashed through Hanzo's eyes, but he shook his head no.

"Perhaps if I was violently inebriated." Hanzo replied. "Any other ideas?"

Jesse thought to himself again. He wasn't terribly exhausted, but he was worn out enough from sparring with Genji to not want to do anything too physically adventurous. Still, he felt the urge to try something new, something he'd thought about before but was a couple of leaps out of his comfort zone.

"I could, uh." Jesse stammered, turning pink with a sudden thought. "I could, hmm."

"What?"

"I could go down on you."

"I would find that sufficient." Hanzo replied, exiting Jesse's lap and stretching a tattooed hand out towards Jesse. Jesse took it.

"I mean, I could go down on the...other end."

Hanzo blinked as he pulled Jesse to his feet.

"You would like to rim me?" he asked. "Yes, I would like that. I will shower."

Jesse opened his mouth, but nothing came out. He flushed further pink, but Hanzo was gone before it could be noticed. A moment later, Jesse heard the water turned on.

He wondered what he'd gotten himself into.

Not wanting to think about it too much, Jesse joined Hanzo in the bathroom so that he could brush his teeth, although not before downing one or four shots of hard liquor. After he'd finished cleaning out his mouth, Jesse knocked on the tile next to where the shower curtain met the wall.

"Hmm?" Hanzo asked.

"Wanna see you."

"So be it."

After a short second, Jesse pulled back the curtain a foot to see Hanzo, hair shiny and body coated in gloss and suds. Jesse couldn't help the stupid smile of affection he flashed.

"You're pretty." Jesse swooned.

"I am little else."

Jesse didn't get a chance to reply as Hanzo grabbed him by the collar and pulled him into a kiss that was so soft that Jesse let out a tiny gasp.

Hanzo's lips were wet and full, as was to be expected. Body warming up, Jesse gave a hot swipe of his tongue, aiding Hanzo's lips apart. The side of the bath kept a few inches between their bodies, saving Jesse from getting wet, although Jesse did still feel Hanzo's hard-on against his leg as it swelled to full interest. Against his other leg, stray mist from the shower head dampened Jesse's pants.

Not wanting to get too ahead of himself, Jesse pulled away.

"You taste like whiskey." Hanzo observed.

"You taste like cock." Jesse replied. Hanzo made a face.

"Sometimes, before I share one of my thoughts, I ask myself how it may affect others and if it is appropriate for the situation."

"No you don't."

"No, I do not." Hanzo admitted, looking down with a soft mouth.

If Hanzo could tell that Jesse was nervous, he gave no indication of it.

Shaking his head from his thoughts, Jesse let his eyes drift downwards. He wrapped his fingers around Hanzo's erection and gave it a few slow tugs, transfixed.

"You're pretty." Jesse repeated as Hanzo's lips parted.

"And you are a _tease._ "

Jesse chuckled and let go of Hanzo's cock. With his other hand, he rubbed his own face.

"You want me to shave?" he asked. "My face, I mean."

"I suppose so."

Hanzo closed the curtain back, and Jesse grew anxious again. When he returned to the living room after scraping his face clean, he took a seat on the couch and knocked back just one more shot of whiskey, not nearly enough to make him stumble but enough to make life a little warmer.

Jesse couldn't believe he had offered this. Couldn't believe he hadn't backed out.

He only had to wait a minute or two before Hanzo wandered into the living room, short towel hanging dangerously off his hips. Jesse forgot what he had been worrying about, especially when Hanzo took a seat in his lap, heating him like a furnace.

"Somebody's p--" was all Jesse could say before Hanzo captured his mouth.

Something Jesse found satisfying about kissing Hanzo was that even though there was no more to learn about the way he kissed, no more improvements to make to the sync of their mouths or surprises, Hanzo's lips never failed to send Jesse to a warm, peaceful world, full of roaming hands and happy, simple thoughts of gratitude. Jesse threaded a hand through Hanzo's warm, damp hair and pulled him closer, coaxing his lips apart.

"What is it?" Hanzo asked, pulling away.

"What's what?"

"You keep smiling."

"That so wrong?"

"Are you drunk?"

"That so wrong?" Jesse repeated, smile widening. Hanzo gave a dismissive little scoff but let their faces fall back together.

The world grew a little dirtier as Hanzo pulled Jesse's lip into his mouth, giving it a soft, suggestive bite. Jesse exhaled and pulled Hanzo closer, tugging at the towel with interest.

Another thing that Jesse appreciated about kissing Hanzo was that he never failed to get passionate. Jesse almost didn't notice when they crashed to the floor, with Hanzo's body ending up beneath his own. Sighing, Jesse scraped his teeth against Hanzo's neck and ran his hand up Hanzo's torso, lulling his fingers to tease both of Hanzo's nipples. Hanzo hissed and arched his back against the floor, pushing his own hips against Jesse's.

Jesse ran his tongue down to Hanzo's collar bone, but pulled away to speak when Hanzo started to roll his pelvis in a heavy invitation.

"So impatient." Jesse said, grabbing Hanzo's sides so that he could flip them over. Before he was given the chance to grab Hanzo's butt, however, Hanzo raised his spine, ending up in a sitting position on Jesse's stomach.

"Do you have a preference towards our positioning?" Hanzo asked. "I would suggest us both on our knees, but I will allow you to choose."

Jesse's ears turned pink as he remembered what he had asked to do. Fear began to twist in his stomach, like he was looking down at the ground from a plane he was about to jump out of.

"Hey, uh," Jesse started, hoping his heart rate wasn't noticeable, "you're gonna walk me through this, right?"

Hanzo's mouth pursed into a frown of speculation.

"Yes." he replied. "I will help."

Jesse looked up and down Hanzo's body, half in wonder and half from terror. He realized he still hadn't answered Hanzo's question.

"Oh." Jesse said. "How 'bout you lie down?"

Exiting Jesse's lap, Hanzo grabbed a pillow from the couch before lying down on his stomach in a position that made Jesse's hard-on twitch. When Jesse got behind him and hooked two hands under the towel, Hanzo flexed his hips, raising his butt further into the air. He tucked the pillow under his chest, propping his head up.

Jesse swallowed as he peeled the towel away, revealing one of his favorite parts of Hanzo. Reaching forward with his flesh hand, Jesse rubbed his thumb on the inside of Hanzo's left cheek, and exhaled when Hanzo spread his knees, in part from the pressure of nervous tension growing in him and part from sheer interest. Reaching further forward, Jesse swiped his thumb over the cleft between Hanzo's legs, feeling the rim of tight muscle that he'd managed to familiarize himself with.

He was a bit put off when Hanzo started to snicker.

"What?" asked Jesse, a bit too defensively.

"You are afraid."

Jesse's hands started to shake. He removed his fingers from Hanzo and clasped his hands together, trying to stop it.

"No I ain't." he lied.

Hanzo shook his head and scoffed.

"...Maybe a little." Jesse followed.

Hanzo kept his ass in the air, but when he spoke again, his tone was surprisingly respectful.

"I am not upset, although I do wonder why you did not voice your trepidation earlier."

Jesse twisted his mouth to the side. For whatever reason, the idea of sharing his inner turmoil with Hanzo had never occurred to him.

"Thought you would a' expected it by now." he replied.

"Truthfully, I don't understand your hesitations, as you regularly put your mouth on my genitals. What do you fear?"

Jesse wracked his brain for a coherent thought.

"I don't know, what if you, uh, just shit, all over my face?" Jesse answered.

Hanzo barked out a laugh, short and loud.

"You would understand." Hanzo replied.

"I would?"

Hanzo continued to chuckle as he shook his head with amusement.

"I can assure you that the worst that will happen is you'll do it poorly and I will get bored." Hanzo said.

"What if Satan comes down and smites me?" Jesse asked, causing Hanzo to snort again. This time, Jesse joined him, laughing at the ten percent of himself that hadn't been joking.

"I would hope that Lucifer would have better things to do."

"Suppose that's true."

Hanzo's mouth stayed soft, but his posture turned more serious.

"Are you morally opposed to the act?" asked Hanzo.

Jesse shook his head. That was a complicated question that Jesse didn't feel even he himself could answer with certainty.

"Yes and no." he answered. "On one level, I don't see anything wrong with it, but on another, part a' me feels like it's kinda trashy."

"Hmm."

Hanzo didn't add anything, and the conversation lulled. Jesse used the time to stare at Hanzo's butt, thoroughly terrified.

"Why don't you reason with me?" Jesse asked. Hanzo was always good for a constructive argument.

"Rationally, hyperrationally, or emotionally?"

"Rationally."

Hanzo shifted, stretching his back into an attractive little arch.

"The levels of taboo you place on one sex act over another are likely not evaluations that came innately to you as an individual, but rather came from fractures of old, outdated ideologies and traditions made by people who either confused correlation with causation or wanted to control the population for whatever reason." Hanzo started. "Scientific evidence shows no causation between any consensual, well communicated sexual activity for adults with unhealthiness or 'impurity'."

"Uh, let's try hyper-rational."

"We are but two absurd consciousnesses built of particles, existing temporarily in an absurd universe which is likely without predetermined meaning. Although others before you have created philosophies in an attempt to apply meaning and create social order, some of which that placed restrictions on the human practice of pleasuring their genitalia, how can you, a man who loudly rejects blind authority, allow your own interpretations of reality to be so persuaded by people whose motivations you cannot understand and who were inevitably wrong about a certain number of things, as no human possesses an omnipotent view of reality?"

"No, that one makes me anxious. Gimme emotional."

"Love is love."

Jesse scoffed out a laugh. He took another look at Hanzo's butt, still intimidated but relaxed enough to get to his stomach, lying across Hanzo's legs. Leaning forward, Jesse cupped Hanzo's ass with his hands and pressed a kiss into the small of his back.

"Are you still frightened?" Hanzo asked.

"What do you think?" Jesse replied, just a second before he pressed his face in, not wanting to psyche himself out any longer.

To his immediate relief, Hanzo smelled like nothing more than skin and soap. Jesse had no doubts that Hanzo was clean, considering how well he took care of himself. Feeling daring, Jesse opened his mouth, giving a slow test swipe of his tongue, and then another after he'd relaxed his face.

"What are you doing with your fingers?" Hanzo asked.

Jesse pulled his face away for a moment to remove the pointer and middle finger he had on either side of his mouth. He nuzzled his face back in just a moment later, stroking his tongue with new rhythm.

"That is...not bad." Hanzo said. "I advice you use more lubrication."

Jesse hummed and complied, flexing his tongue to apply more spit. He did his best to imitate what Hanzo had done for him a few times, lapping slow and thoughtfully. Soon, he felt Hanzo shudder.

"Increase pressure with your tongue, but decrease pressure with face." Hanzo instructed.

It wasn't as scary as he'd thought it would be. Jesse'd liked the idea of giving oral sex ever since he'd found out what it was, and this was proving itself to be no exception, especially as Hanzo's breath started to turn heavy.

"Yes." Hanzo said, voice shallow. "Like that."

Jesse's chest flushed with praise. He dug his hands a little deeper into the meat of Hanzo's ass, adjusting his hips when his own cock started to push painfully against the floor. Hanzo lifted his tailbone, pushing back the tiniest bit on Jesse's face.

"Ah, _sōdesu._ "

Body flushing with new intrigue, Jesse kept the movement of his tongue slow, but he let himself use more of it. He halted for a moment to press a quick, soft kiss against Hanzo's rim. Hanzo cried out, sweet and pretty once, and then once again when Jesse dove right back in. And when Hanzo's breath turned into a series of quiet cries, Jesse did his best not to hump the floor.

Jesse could not _believe_ he was doing this.

He wasn't exactly sure what he'd been expecting from eating ass, but he hadn't expected to find it quite so arousing. He wished he could see Hanzo's face, as from the noises he was making, Jesse could guess that it was twisted with pleasure. Keeping his metal hand where it was, Jesse rubbed his other up Hanzo's spine, feeling the slight arch from the pillow and his elevated butt. It was certainly stimulating, but suddenly, it wasn't enough. Jesse pulled away, ignoring Hanzo's noise of frustration.

"How'd you feel about sitting on my face, baby doll?" Jesse asked.

"Are you certain you could handle that so quickly?" Hanzo asked back, breath shallow.

"No one's broken my neck yet."

"You are impetuous. Get on your back."

Giving Hanzo one more quick swipe of his tongue that made his breath hitch, Jesse rolled over on his back and waited for a half-lidded, pink-chested Hanzo to hand him the pillow, which he put under his head for leverage.

"Close your eyes." Hanzo instructed.

"Why?"

"This is not my most flattering angle."

Jesse scoffed but closed his eyes nonetheless, opening his arms in an invitation. His breathing was restricted for just a moment as Hanzo took a seat on his pecs, his legs straddling Jesse's sides. Although it was the opposite direction Jesse was used to people sitting at, he couldn't say he minded the swell of Hanzo's butt in his face. With his metal fingers, Jesse traced over Hanzo's left cheek as best he could in his position.

"God, you're something else." Jesse swooned.

"I suppose I would expect you to have low standards."

It was even better at this angle, with the warm weight of Hanzo tight on his chest. Hanzo was immediately vocal when Jesse moved from the initial tease to deep strokes of his tongue. Jesse's body trembled with delight when Hanzo started to trace down his flannel with his hands, giving Jesse a better angle on his ass, too.

Hanzo's hand eventually reached the pressured fabric of Jesse's jeans. Jesse was gracious enough to hum with pleasure when Hanzo started to palm him, although he did have the passing thought that he wanted to stay as focused on Hanzo as he could.

"Don't worry about me, sugar." Jesse said, pulling back for a moment to murmur. "I wanna make _you_ feel good."

"Commiserative." Hanzo replied, but he pulled his hands back to stroke Jesse's thighs instead, and Jesse bent his knees for easier contact. Needing skin under his fingers, Jesse reached under Hanzo's belly with two hands and rubbed up and down from his chest to his hips, resisting the urge to drag his nails.

Tipsy enough on his own buzz of pleasure, the rhythmic, tiny noises Hanzo was making, and his five shots of whiskey, Jesse continued to lap with tongue even after it started to hurt. Soon, Hanzo's started to jerk his body in tiny motions that indicated he was touching himself. Jesse moaned, trying to picture it.

Hanzo's legs tightened around Jesse's sides as they started to tremble. Jesse let his ears drink in filthy curses and broken fragments of Japanese that were usually an indication that Hanzo was about to blast.

" _Ima iku._ " Hanzo warned, touching the fabric of Jesse's shirt with his free hand.

"Yeah, you gonna come for me?" Jesse mumbled.

"I--would you like me to--"

Hanzo moaned, cutting himself off. Jesse realized he was being asked how much he cared about keeping his shirt clean.

"Fuck," Jesse replied, out of his mind. "I can change."

When Hanzo exhaled and started to pump again, Jesse pulled his mouth away for just second to wet his finger and push it between Hanzo's legs, twisting it up towards his prostate. A moment later, he kept his finger in place, but gave another lap of his tongue, covering as much surface area as he could.

"Aah-- _ah!"_ Hanzo cried.

Hanzo made a few more attractive noises before he tensed and shuddered, and a quick moment later, Jesse felt something splatter against his own stomach that sent a hot jolt through him. Jesse had never been come on before, but he couldn't say he didn't enjoy it, just how filthy and explicit and almost demeaning it was, even though that wasn't usually his thing. Still, he calmed down quickly when he felt Hanzo's body relax.

Boneless as he always was after a good orgasm, Hanzo fell off Jesse's chest. Jesse opened his eyes. The light was sobering, but not in a bad way. Jesse came down from his buzz, the shots wearing off.

"Mmmh." Hanzo mused, flopping to the ground beside Jesse.

"Feel better?" Jesse asked. He smiled when Hanzo chuckled and nodded.

Jesse stripped off his shirt and got on his side so that he could take Hanzo in his arms. He did his best to keep his obvious erection away from Hanzo, but Hanzo backed into it.

"Would you like me to finish you?" Hanzo offered.

"Don't worry bout it." Jesse replied, and Hanzo's body relaxed with gratitude.

"Once was enough for today?"

"Yeah, uh, once."

Cuddling on the carpet wasn't the most comfortable thing in the world. Jesse supposed they could move to the couch, but when Hanzo nuzzled his head under Jesse's chin and against his chest, Jesse decided it wasn't worth it.

"Do you expect me to be proud of you?" Hanzo asked once his breath had cooled.

"I'm proud of me. Mama told me that's all the matters."

"We had very different mothers."

Jesse didn't reply, letting a moment of silence wash over them. He wondered for a moment what Hanzo's mother was like. Jesse'd only learned bits and pieces about Hanzo's upbringing, most of which had made him too sick to ask any follow-up questions.

"Have you ever wanted to have kids?" Jesse asked, breaking the silence.

If Hanzo was surprised by the question, he didn't make it clear, as his response was appropriately timed.

"Not in the traditional sense." he answered. "If I wished  to listen to a high-pitched, screetching call for hours on end, I would simply wear sports shoes to a department store and grind my heals into the linolium."

Jesse nodded. It was about the answer he was expecting.

"Just to be clear, I do not blame children for their own incompetence. I simply don't understand why it is a path that it so unanimously sought." Hanzo followed.

"Nah, I hear you."

"Did you ever want children?"

"Yeah. Since I was seven. Thought I'd have a wife at twenty-five and three kids by twenty-nine."

Under his chin, Hanzo's loose hair tickled Jesse's face. Absentmindedly, Jesse pressed a kiss into his hairline.

"Never happened, as I'm sure you can guess." he followed. "Time I got out a' Blackwatch, that train had left a long time ago."

Hanzo didn't reply for a long time, just snuggled closer. When he did answer, it jolted Jesse's eyes open.

"We would make terrible parents." Hanzo said.

"Hey, speak for yourself."

"No. I mean, together."

Jesse raised an eyebrow.

"Oh. Any reason why?" he asked.

"You possess some...rather strange ideologies."

"You think I got strange ideologies? Look at you."

"I get the feeling you've thought about this as well."

"Look, I think of parenting the same damn way I think of everything. I ain't big on authority."

"Can I ask why? I understand we've spoken about this before, but I still feel there is more I have to learn."

Jesse thought for a moment.

"Well, in terms a' parenting," Jesse started. "I don't think children--or anyone, really--that it's right for them to get ordered around."

"Why?"

"Because when you just order somebody to do something, you're not telling them why they should do it. And if you ain't telling them why they should do it, you're not letting them evaluate it for themselves. It's not just that you're not letting 'em make choices, it's that you're not letting them learn how to make choices."

"In some sense, I agree with you. I do believe that people should have reason behind their actions. But I also believe that those who hold the highest truth should be allowed to dictate. Otherwise, there is no point to their truths."

"Maybe so, but how are we supposed to believe people who say they have the highest truth? What's our system for determining that? I ain't so sure we should trust that we got one."

"Perhaps we should compromise." Hanzo noted.

"How 'bout this. If you let me raise our kids not to support the federal government, I'll let you raise 'em with all your hippy gender-neutral ideas."

"I can accept this arrangement, although I will refer to your anti-federalist teachings towards our children as indoctrination."

"...Oh, fuck off." Jesse replied, breaking into a grin.

"Why are we even speaking of this? I don't want children."

"I dunno." 

Hanzo chuckled. They both feel silent.

Jesse knew that he should eventually get around to putting the food away and brush his teeth, but it could wait. Silence fell, Jesse thought back to his conversation with Genji about if he should tell Hanzo how he felt. Twisting his neck, Jesse assessed his current situation. He was multiple kinds of fulfilled, happy enough, and warm with Hanzo in his arms.

Maybe it was better not to risk it.

"Oh, hey," Jesse started, flashing back, "I almost forgot. D.Va wants us to do some little stream thing for her, and I kinda promised her I’d make you do it.”

Hanzo snored.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I mentioned this in my actual writing, but I want to clarify that Hanzo's distrust of omnics is not supposed to be a metaphor for racism. On one hand, their are some similarities, like how Hanzo revealing he's somewhat justified in his ideologies in the context of his interpretation of reality (which is something I think a lot of people about those more bigoted than they are), but on the other hand it's not a metaphor because not only are Hanzo's ideologies supposed to be justifiable in his interpretation of reality, but they are somewhat justifiable in the context of the True Reality presented in this story, if that makes any sense at all. Think of a venn diagram.
> 
> (note 2 self: update beginning with new relationship update after it is published in chapter 12)


	11. (interlude 3: Altruism)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **PLEASE READ NOTES BEFORE READING CHAPTER**  
>   
> 
> 1\. No sex, sorry. You'll have to wait until next week  
> 2\. This scene is very strange and is a little unlike every other scene in this work. I'm worried as to how it will come across to a lot of people, as it is very blatant, and I even worry that it might be considered offensive as it's just written in rejection of so much and based off of assumptions that I understand not everyone on the planet holds about reality. I thought for a while about not posting it, but I am because tbh it's my favorite thing that I've written in a long time and I also wrote it to be revealing towards the philosophies of the characters. However, the fact remains that many people simply won't understand this chapter, _not_ because they're stupid but because so many of the jokes are deeply esoteric. So I'm going to go ahead and make this an optional scene. There's a cliff notes version in the end notes if you don't want to read.  
>  3\. I am not a historian, nor am I a paleontologist. Some concepts presented are oversimplified, and I'm sure I got some things wrong.  
> 4\. This will be the last interlude  
> 

"...Just remember. Keep it family friendly." Hana snapped, pointing with her marker to the white board she'd set up. "No swearing, no strong opinions, and _no_ politics! I don't want to heard any mention of anything political! And that includes any opinions on Rick and Morty."

"I think Rick and Morty is a neat show." Genji replied happily.

"Shut up, Genji, you're doing it wrong. Is everyone ready?"

"Uh." Jesse said from his chair, the second one to the left in the semi-circle of four.

"Good. If! And only if! You feel the need to voice a strong opinion, make sure that one, the amount of support you have for that opinion is vague, and two, that the opinion shared by the majority of my viewer base!"

"What demographics do you appeal to?" asked Hanzo.

"Female gamers, middle class moms, and thirteen year old boys."

"Uh." Jesse repeated. Hana pushed the white board out of sight and pointed a remote at the camera she'd set up on a selfie stick.

"Sounds good." Hana announced. "We're on in three...two...one...now!"

"Fuck, what's going on?" Morrison asked.

"Hello, my name is D.Va, and welcome to the first ever installment of game time with old men!"

Hana's voice served as yet another reminder to Jesse that he'd made a very, very big mistake when he'd agreed to this. Out of the corner of one eye, Hanzo shot him a glare that read _'how did you manage to rope me in?'_. In the corner of Jesse's other eye, Morrison crossed his arms.

Genji looked ecstatic.

"Our first player is half human, half robot, and all old man." Hana started, putting a hand on Genji's shoulder. "Tell me Genji, would you like to say a little bit about yourself?"

"Yes!" Genji replied, clapping his hands. "My name is Genji Shimada, and I like making friends, ice-cream, and knife fights where no one gets hurt."

"Weird flex but okay. And how old are you, Genji?"

"Thirty-eight."

"Wow." said Hana, shaking her head with disbelief as she moved on to Jesse. "Our next player is a man who grew up breaking horses and herding cattle and just wants everyone to know. As charming as he is stupid--"

"Huh?" Jesse asked.

"--he spent the last twenty years as a wanted criminal, and he once conned me out of forty dollars."

"Some of the things you are saying seem to be contradictory with other things you are saying." said Hanzo.

"Say hello, Jesse!" Hana ordered, touching the hat on his back.

"Howdy." Jesse greeted. He supposed he should feel a bit camera shy, but he didn't think he was likely to meet anyone who would watch this anytime soon.

"How old are you, Jesse?"

"Forty-one."

"Amazing." Hana replied as she moved to Hanzo. "Up next, we have a retired tragic villain who just sort of hangs out these days. He triple majored in mathematics, computer science, and business, and last week I saw him burying something in the garden. Was it a dead body?"

Turning to the camera, Hana widened her eyes and put a hand over her open mouth for dramatic affect.

"Those were silver rounds." Hanzo said.

"How old are you, Hanzo?"

"Forty-two."

"Wow." Hana replied, shaking her head sadly. "And is there anything you want to say to the crowd back home?"

"When you buy your silver, made sure to buy bullion, unless you are a collector of a certain coin." Hanzo started, leaning forward in his chair. "For burying purposes, place your silver in a vertical cylinder. This way it will have a lower top-down surface area, decreasing the chances of being discovered by a metal detect--"

"Oooh-kaaaay. Thank you Hanzo."

Gritting her teeth awkwardly, Hana walked down the line to Morrison.

"Our last player is Mr. Big Time Rush himself, my boss." said Hana, pointing. "One time he made me do fifty push-ups on the floor for chewing gum during a debriefing."

"Be grateful. In my day, it would have been three hundred. And you'd have spent the night in the third-story bathroom."

"Great imagery. And how old are you, Commander Morrison?"

Morrison sighed.

"Sixty-three." he huffed.

"Tragic. And there you have it, people. Look at all these old men."

"The average life expectancy is currently a hundred and two." Hanzo said. Hana ignored him in favor of pulling out five pairs of clear, lightweight glasses from her hand bag. She slipped on one pair of her own, and then handed the rest to each of them.

"What are these?" asked Morrison.

"Augmented reality specs." Hana answered. "You'll need them to see the game we're about to play."

"What game?" Jesse asked.

"The game you'll be playing today is Blizzard's new hit game; Earth."

"Rockstar's a better company." Genji said. He yelped when Hana kicked him in the foot.

Jesse slipped on the glasses and everyone else did the same. Staring straight ahead, Jesse didn't initially notice anything different, until he spotted a tiny inauthentic square of light that read 'start', just a foot in front of his face. When he looked to his left and right, he could see similar ones in front of everyone else but Hana.

"Don't press start yet." Hana instructed. "I need to do a bit of calibration first."

Jesse looked all three-hundred and sixty degrees around his head, getting used to the glasses.

Even the shitty arcade that Jesse'd grown up with had video games, so he'd used augmented reality products before, but something about these seemed a little different. When he looked around, everything seemed brighter, somehow. And when he looked at the people around him, they looked different. Healthier.

"Why does McCree look less ugly?" Morrison asked, looking around.

"Oh. The glasses have a built in beauty filter. One of the many features of Blizzard's new line of augmented reality products

Jesse wasn't sure how he felt about that. And when he looked at Genji's face to realized that his scars were dimmed and his burn marks were gone, Jesse felt a growing sickness in the pit of his stomach. Quickly, he raised the glasses to his forehead, and the sickness went away.

"Is, there, uh, any way to turn it off?" Jesse asked, innocently enough.

"I think so." Hana answered. "But I don't know how."

"It appears the filter can be toggled on and off by simultaneously tapping both lenses twice." said Hanzo, messing with the fronts of his glasses.

Jesse tapped his lenses the way Hanzo had instructed. There were now a few distracting fingerprints in his visions, but Jesse immediately felt better nonetheless when everyone's face returned to normal.

"Is everyone situated with your glasses?" Hana asked when they were finished. "Come on, old guys. It was either this or Souljavision."

"I'm ready." said Morrison.

"My body is prepared." Genji answered.

Jesse reached out hesitantly towards the start symbol. It rippled as his finger neared close to it.

"Good to know. Everyone, press start!"

Jesse brought his finger to his own start button, and everyone else pressed their own at about the same time. The button faded out of existence, but was quickly replaced by a virtual screen, about ten or so inches tall and twenty inches wide. The screen was a solid shade of blue, blank for now.

"Are we going against each other?" Jesse asked.

"Yes and no." Hana answered. "You're going against AI, but you're all competing to complete your goal the fastest. Whoever wins gets my limited edition sequin rhinestone holographic t-shirt!"

Hana lifted up a shirt. Jesse was forced to shield his eyes from the horror.

"And what's the goal?" asked Hanzo.

"Conquer the whole planet. Although no one ever does on their first time, so I guess, conquer as much as you can before your society crumbles. Or just see how long you can stay afloat."

Jesse's eyes were drawn to the screen in front of him as it turned black. He watched in confusion for a moment as tiny white dots began to poke through the black, like holes through a sheet of black paper held up to a light, before he realized that it was space.

"There's a little introduction short. Do you want me to skip it?" Hana asked.

"No." Genji replied. "I need context."

The screen shifted, zooming in near one of the tiny dots, and Jesse had just enough time to identify it as the sun before the camera passed it and two other planets entirely to shift its focus on a large brown ball, filled with angry red cracks.

"What's this dump heap?" Morrison asked.

"That's the Earth. Four billion years ago." Hana answered.

"I hate it."

The screen zoomed in once again, getting closer to the surface of the planet until it was at a comfortable distance from what looked like a puddle of chemicals. Thunder boomed ahead.

"And what's this?" asked Morrison, pointing as a lightning bolt struck the pool of chemicals.

"Our best guess."

The screen zoomed in once again, nearing on microscopic. Jesse watched in mild interest as a new chemical compound was born, tiny and round.

"What's that?" Morrison asked. Hana sighed.

"That's the first cell." she answered.

The cell split in two and began to shift. More cells appeared, some with different characteristics. In the corner of the screen, a little 'fast forward' icon appeared, insinuating that this wasn't happening in real time. As some of the smaller cells began dying when exposed to hostile strips of chemicals in the water, Morrison pointed at his own screen.

"What's killing them?" he asked.

"Those are conditions. The cells that don't meet them have to discontinue their existences." Hana explained. Morrison crossed his arms.

"I didn't come here to learn about biology, Song."

"You! Asked!"

"As I consider the effort of sustainability, conscious or otherwise, to be the main property of life, I do find it fascinating how circumstantial and unintentionally developed it was for chemical compounds to acquire said effort of sustainability." Hanzo said, voice like it was when he was pleasantly interested. Jesse smiled at both the words as well as Hanzo's fascination.

"It's what separates man from the animals." Genji said matter-of-factly.

Hanzo's face was still calm, but the corner of his mouth twitched.

"Now we just have to wait four billion years for humans to show up." Hana said.

"I can't take over the world with nematodes?" Jesse asked. "Trash game."

"I wish I could be a nematode." Genji mused.

"Why? Why do you wish that?" asked Hanzo, exasperated.

The fast forward icon continued to blink as life began to shift from fish to dinosaurs to birds, and finally small mammals. Jesse'd seen the charts a hundred times before, so nothing was a surprise to him.

"Homosapiens!" Hana announced as the apes on the screen morphed into bipedal hominids and picked up spears, somewhere in Africa. "Just two-hundred thousand more years or so until the agricultural revolution."

"The agricultural revolution was our downfall." said Genji.

"My brother would have preferred to have been born in a time period where we threw feces at each other and sacrificed our newborns to the gods." Hanzo replied. Jesse almost choked on his toothpick.

"Had to get the sun to come up somehow." he shrugged.

"Do you guys ever think about how because we're the same creatures genetically from our tribal ancestors, how that could have been us?" asked Hana. "Like, we could have been the ones that threw our shit or played those weird murder sports you learn about in ancient history class? You know, since it was the social norm."

"No. What?" Genji replied.

"Yeah, pretty often, actually." Jesse admitted.

"Think about it?" Hanzo asked, perplexed. "It's an innate fact of life." 

As time continued to advance for the hunter-gatherers, a date finally showed up in the corner of the screen, counting down from BC. Around 4000 BC, the counter drastically slowed, and the fast forward icon disappeared. The screen before Jesse deteriorated into pixels, leaving behind a large, semi-transparent globe made from virtual blue lines and chunks of light, maybe with a diameter of four feet. The prompt 'select' flashed on screen, and when Jesse reached his hands out, he found that he could rotate the globe at his will.

"Now you have to choose your starting location." Hana instructed. "I'd recommend somewhere in Europe or Asia. That's where all the metal alloy is."

"How do we play?" Genji asked.

"It's pretty standard for an RTS, although you'll find significantly more options in this game. Earth Tycoon was developed only by the greatest historians, psychologists, and political scientists that Blizzard could bother to hire."

When Jesse examined the globe in front of him closer, he realized he was being prompted to pick a starting location. Jesse spun the globe so that Eurasia was in view.

"Where did you choose, Genji?" Hana asked, going down the line.

"The center of China."

"Good choice. China did just get nerfed, but it still has the highest win rate. And you, Jesse?"

"Outskirts a' Spain." Jesse answered, hoping that no one noticed Hana's most recent comment had shot him into existential confusion. When he selected his region, a large screen appeared about a foot behind his globe, showing off lists of blank stats that he didn't yet understand.

"Bold." Hana replied before moving down the line to put a hand on Morrison's shoulder. "How about you, Mr. Bi--"

"China." Morrison answered.

"You can't just pick China. You have to pick a small section."

"Whatever."

Hana scoffed as Morrison chose a region in where China would eventually be at random. She moved on to Hanzo.

"And where does our tactical man choose?" asked Hana.

"Italy." Hanzo answered.

Hana blinked.

"...You know Rome fell, right?" she whispered to Hanzo.

A few minutes passed and Jesse worked out a basic understanding of the game, setting up a few farms and conquering a few neighboring regions with a group of men with some shitty armor and crude weapons.

"Maybe Genji's right about the agricultural revolution." Hana said. "For whatever reason, life got really bad for a lot of women after societies were no longer in constant threat of starvation and natural disasters."

Jesse frowned as a punch of nauseating guilt hit him in the chest, snippets of terrifying laws and circumstances he'd learned in history books about thousands of years of mistreatment. When he looked up, he saw that Genji and Morrison were also messing with the fabric of their pant legs.

"I feel bad." Genji admitted.

"Sorry D.Va." Jesse mumbled, completely genuine.

"Sorry, Hana." said Morrison.

"Oh, I can sell this as a stream preview!" Hana said, whipping out her phone to make a personal recording and taking a stand from across the four of them. "Three of my old men friends apologize for five-thousand years of mistreatment towards woman."

From his chair, Jesse continued to rub his heel in the ground as they all continued to stammer together.

"I'm sorry, Hana." he and Morrison muttered together in a loose, untimed mantra.

"Our apologies." Genji murmured.

"This seems very constructive and not at all segregating." said Hanzo.

"Commi." Morrison replied.

"This was fun." Hana announced, putting her phone away. "But now it’s time to get back to work, tyrants."

Shaking the previous events from his head, Jesse got back to work on his society. He didn't really care who won, although he suspected it wouldn't be Genji, who hadn't even tried to branch out from his starting region.

"Do you not know how to invade, Genji?" asked Hana. Genji frowned.

"I would rather not." he replied. "Perhaps if I could do it nonviolently, but there seems to be no options for that."

"You know these people aren't real, right Genji?"

"If you draw a face on anything from a strip of wood to a block of cheese, my brother will become attached." said Hanzo.

Hana moved onto Morrison. When she got to his globe, she winced.

"That's, uh, a lot of spears you're making, Mr. Boss." Hana observed. "Perhaps you're going to send the wrong idea to your neighbors."

"That's a risk I'm willing to take. We need those spears to protect us while we search for the materials to make guns."

"...Alright."

"When do firearms get invented?" Morrison asked loudly. "Does anyone know how to make guns?"

"You got sulfur?" Jesse muttered.

Things calmed down, at least for a moment. Jesse snuck a peak just to his left at Hanzo's globe, as it was the one he was most interested in. Although Jesse couldn't say that he anywhere near agreed with the number of regulations that Hanzo was smacking on everything, Jesse couldn't help but be a little impressed with how well Hanzo managed soldiers and trade routes with his neighbors, significantly better than the rest of them combined.

"Regular Trajan, there, huh Hanzo?" Hana asked.

"In high school, my brother was voted most likely to become a tyrant." said Genji.

"In high school, _my_ brother was asked to leave history class for crying about slavery." Hanzo replied.

"Aw, Genji..." Hana mused, frowning sympathetically.

"No, don't relate to--" Hanzo stammered. "Ah, whatever."

Jesse chuckled. He returned to his globe, just as Hana started to walk towards him.

"What kind of society are you making, Jesse?" Hana asked,

Jesse examined the society he'd been constructing.

"I think it's pretty neat." he answered. "It's got, uh, liberty and stuff."

"What a statement. What kind of government do you have?"

Putting his eyes out of view, Jesse scratched that back of his head. He'd been hoping that Hana wouldn't ask him that.

"Well, I can't say that I have one." he admitted.

"Did you not figure out how to make one?" Hana asked. "You just have to open the menu in the right hand corner."

"Well, no, I was just thinking that maybe humans are naturally diplomatic--"

"Thank you, Jesse. Tell me if you need any help with the controls."

"What?"

Hana didn't answer, opting instead to give some attention to Genji. Jesse took another look over at Genji's society. He had to say that he was impressed by Genji's tact for peace and refusal to use fascism at any intensity. However, Jesse was a little less impressed by Genji's total lack of strategy and goal of any sort.

"Genji, I get the feeling you weren't a Poly Sci major." Hana observed as Genji's people invented tiny hats for horses.

"I will admit that rather than meticulously studying any one subject, I spent college exploring myself."

"He sometimes explored up to three grams a week." said Hanzo.

Jesse snorted. Hana moved back towards Hanzo's globe.

"How many times are you going to let Claudius be Emperor, Hanzo?" Hana asked.

"He will rule until either death or mercury poisoning." Hanzo answered.

"And is there a reason you've ordered for him to receive a vasectomy?"

"Avoiding the Apocalypse."

Jesse didn't know how he'd expected this stream to go, but it hadn't been this. However, he couldn't say he was disappointed.

"Alright, old guys," Hana announced, clapping her hands, "we're rounding the end of BC. Hanzo, what are you doing in Bethlehem?"

"What needs to be done."

"And what do you plan to do with that armed militia--씨발놈아! Hanzo, how could you do that?!"

"What'd he do?" Jesse asked.

"Hanzo just killed baby Jesus!" Hana answered.

"I've no personal grudge." Hanzo calmly explained. "But I cannot have Christianity wreaking havoc on my people."

Hana looked into the camera and blinked with regret. Jesse snickered a bit, mildly cathartic.

"Is there a romance feature in this game?" asked Genji, and Hana perked back up.

"What kind of game would it be if there wasn't?" she answered happily.

"I'm gonna go give one to Voltaire." Jesse said, conquering France.

The clock ticked on. Jesse spent maybe a little too much time watching Hanzo work out the corner of his eye, thoroughly fascinated by workings of Hanzo's mind, how thoughtful they were and yet clearly different with his own. And although Jesse wasn't a fan of autocracy, Hanzo's motivations were, at the very least, clearly grounded in the cold utilitarianism that Jesse had come to associate him with a long time ago, rather than a lust for power or sadism.

All in all, Jesse supposed he'd seen worse. And at the very least, despite extensive amounts of dividing and conquering, Hanzo seemed to avoid pointless war and violence, choosing to attack only when he could guarantee his success and giving a relatively fair life to the newly assimilated people, unlike _some_ people.

"Yeah! Guns!" Morrison announced, tossing his fists into the air as his people invented firearms. "Now, time to invent the bomb."

"Do you really need bombs?" Genji asked.

"Of course. We gotta catch up to the Chinese."

"You are the Chinese!" Hana exclaimed.

"Oh yeah." Morrison replied.

"Is there a reason you're at war with...everybody?" Jesse asked.

"To encourage advancements in weapon technology. Get off my back. I'm trying to bring about world peace."

"My society does not have war at all." Genji boasted.

"Your society only has four hundred people." Morrison shot back, squinting at Genji's board.

"Genji, how are you surviving?" asked Jesse.

Genji shrugged. Jesse returned to viewing his own society. Things were going better than expected for him. He'd managed to absorb most of Europe, although he'd quickly broken everything into small fractions, not interested in having anyone in charge of too many people. To maximize freedom, he also encouraged the political diversity that grew between the different regions, each with their own systems of order, and allowed people to move freely between them. He did his best to encourage each region to remain unofficial, anti-federal, and to keep their inner-workings public knowledge.

To his fascination, Jesse eventually realized that some of the ideas he was using were ones he'd gotten from Hanzo. Ways to combat nationalism, how to structure systems of education, and the importance of rationality where all built around ideas that Jesse had gotten from Hanzo. Jesse waved when Hana came over with the camera.

"How are you even governing without a government?" Hana asked. Jesse looked up from his globe, wracking his brain for a way to express his thoughts.

"Well, I'm trying to create a series of, uh, cultural changes that, um, encourage the values that I think a society needs have. It's a lotta work and a little slow, but I reckon it's paying off."

"That's ridiculous. Why don't you just align legality with your own moral code?"

"Not a chance, missy. That's against my moral code."

Hanzo tipped his head ever so slightly to the left in a way that indicated he was listening in.

"Do you understand why I might question your intelligence when its legal in your society to buy and sell heroin?" Hana asked.

"Listen, D.Va. I don't wanna deal with a black market."

"Don't want to deal with a black market?" Hanzo asked, voice astounded. "Where else are you supposed to govern from?"

"Con-grat-u-lations!" Hana said, clapping between the syllables. "We're now entering the modern era! Welcome to the twentieth century!"

"Finally. Some good fucking science." Morrison said as his people came to understand uranium.

"Are you sure that is a wise decision?" asked Genji as Morrison hit the OK on the atom bomb plans.

"Never been more sure."

"But if you invent the bomb, everyone else has to invent them as well so they can protect themselves from you." Hana said.

"Look, Song, if I hadn't been the first to do invent all this shit, someone else in some other country would have been." Morrison replied, scoffing loudly. "Why do you think I'm doing all this? To protect my country from other crazy people like me."

"I'm not sure how comfortable I am with you being my boss." Hanzo said calmly.

Jesse chuckled. Hana made her way over to Hanzo.

"How's it going with you, Hanzo?" Hana asked.

"Very well." Hanzo answered, nodding with pride. "Productivity has been up by nearly half a percent ever since I banned service workers from asking customers how their day has been."

 _'God, you're cute.'_ Jesse thought to himself.

 _ 'Thanks.'_ Ana replied.

Jesse rubbed the back of his neck.

"So there's no Matriarchs or Patriarchs in your society?" Hana asked Hanzo.

"No. Sex is not a qualification for power or rolls anymore."

"You know what? Good for you. Nice to see one of you being progressive."

"Thank you. I find the concept of the dichotomy to be arbitrary and anti-utilitarian, especially so since infants are no longer born through ovarian methods. I've found a way to grow them in artificial wombs, and then have them be raised for the first eight years of their lives by the government--"

"Moving! On!" Hana interrupted, clapping her hands. "Jesse!"

Jesse perked up when Hana brought the camera over to him once again.

"Hey, it's my favorite cowboy." she greeted. "How's it going for your humble society? Are those Southern values working out?"

Next to Jesse, Hanzo stiffened.

"Pretty well." Jesse answered, pretending not to notice.

"How is anything supposed to get done without taxes?" Genji asked Jesse, voice skeptical as he pointed at Jesse's globe.

"Well, I think if people really want a service, they'll fund outta their own free will." Jesse explained.

"Wow." Hana replied, cocking her head. "I didn't know you hated poor people."

"--What?"

Hanzo made a tiny noise. Jesse looked over to see that he was snickering.

"McCree posses the very strange idea that humans are inherently competent and kind creatures." Hanzo said.

"Sounds like somebody isn't watching the news." Hana shrugged.

"Yes! I have bombs!" Morrison exclaimed, pumping his fist.

"Good job." said Hana dryly. "Are you happy?”

"Very. Wait, no, what are they doing?"

Jesse squinted over at Morrison's globe to see that some sort of turmoil was taking place.

"Your citizens appear to be rebelling.” Hana explained.

"Goddamn citizens. Think they know what's best. Does anyone know how to oppress the entire working class?"

No one replied.

"I said," Morrison started again, clearing his throat. "If anybody knows how to oppress the working class, you might get a little extra in your Christmas bonus."

"Oh." Hanzo replied, realizing that it was his cue.

Hanzo launched into an essay of a response. Jesse watched as Morrison pulled out a small notebook and a pencil from his pocket. He listened in on their conversation, curious.

"...everyone under your rule believes something is drastically wrong with the nature of their society," Hanzo explained, "you can easily divert their attention off of you and onto each other by subliminally convincing one half of your people of a certain, specific solution to the problem, and the other half of a different solution to the same problem."

"Ok." said Morrison. "What next?"

"After you've done this and successfully have created these two halves, you need to manipulate the culture of each respective half so that it becomes a normality to believe that the other half's ideal solution to the problem, as well as the actions that they partake in as an attempt to follow through with said solution, are actually the _cause_ of the original problem. If you've done this correctly, this will cause a constant state of mutual moral outrage. People communicate with other members of their class very poorly when morally outraged by them."

"Sounds easy."

"It is."

Jesse turned his ear away, frowning. He reexamined his own globe to see that he was doing pretty well. He hadn't conquered nearly as much as Hanzo, but other citizens in other countries had started to give into Jesse's example, overthrowing their own governments in favor of not having them. Trade was up and war was down. 

"How's it going, Jesse?" Hana asked, walking over with a smile that looked just a tad frantic.

"Pretty good. Just got to Mars. Reckon we'll have it terraformed in a few years."

"Wow, good for you."

Hana turned the camera away. Jesse watched in confusion as she touched the light of his screen, scrolling through a little menu of commands that Jesse didn't understand. A few moments later, the words _'Game Difficulty Updated: Hard Mode'_ flashed on the screen for a quick second.

"What?" Jesse asked as a series of tornadoes began to break out across the globe.

"Oh, nothing." she answered, turning the camera back. "Just fixing a bug. Continue with your project."

 _'Jesse, nobody wants to see you talk about natural law.'_ Hana sent. _'Some people actually know what Aleppo is.'_

"Why you gotta be so mean to me?" Jesse asked. "Hanzo's trying to bring about global tyranny."

Hana turned towards Hanzo with a frown. It was true that Hanzo's society had become less egalitarian and more authoritarian now that he'd conquered most of the globe, probably as he had more time to add regulations.

"I suppose he has gotten unforgivably capitalistic." she said. Hanzo perked his head up with confusion.

"Capitalism?" he replied. "No, McCree is the capitalist. I'm using a mixed market."

"Wait, what is capitalism?" asked Genji.

"A cursed form of economic distribution that enables people with no morals to rise to the top and take over every industry with corruption." Hana answered.

"No, that's communism." Jesse said.

"No, it's Marxism." Morrison argued.

"Which Marxist school of thought are you referring to?" Hanzo asked Morrison. "Do you mean Socialism? Or Utilitarianism?"

"Why would he be referring to Utilitarianism?" said Genji.

"If we are going to speak with such broad terms, I need absolute clarity."

"Have you ever considered simply assessing situations contextually?"

"Without adequate term clarification, I predict I am able to properly evaluate situations just off of face context at an only ninety-five percent rate of success. Does that not seem frighteningly low to you?"

"When you frown like that, you look like Sasuke."

_"Shinjimae!"_

"I thought Marxism was just a fancy word for socialism." Morrison said.

"What's socialism?" Genji asked.

Hana rubbed her temples.

"Let's just focus on the completion." she reasoned.

Jesse looked at the boards. Hanzo was in the lead with land, while he himself was in the lead for general satisfaction. Or, at least he was, before the tornadoes and recent outbreak of Super Dysentery hit as the result of Hana's difficulty change. However, a large achievement flashing on Genji's board surprised everyone, including Genji.

"What does this mean?" Genji asked, pointing to the achievement marker that read "Here for now".

"Congratulations." Hana said to Genji. "Although you didn't conquer anyone, the rest of the world finds you so non-threatening that they don't find you enough of a threat to deal with. Your society is sustainable, for now."

"Hooray!" Genji replied, pumping his arm. "A win for peace. We will make love, not war!"

Without warning, Genji's globe and screen turned red as his population plummeted substantially, earning him the words GAME OVER. Genji lowered his fist in confusion and disappointment.

"Wait--what happened?" he asked.

"The fall of pansyville." Morrison replied.

"It seems we've all learned a valuable lesson today." Hana said, putting a hand on Genji's shoulder. "Syphilis spreads."

"Amateur mistake." Hanzo scoffed. "My citizens have to fill out an extensive amount of paperwork before copulating."

"Um..." Hana said, turning to Hanzo with concern. "You might want to overturn that."

"Why?"

"You have a negative birth rate and your citizens are extremely depressed."

"Fine." Hanzo snapped as he removed the regulation. "Anarchy it is."

Jesse took another look at Hanzo's globe. He still supposed it wasn't the worst thing he'd ever seen, but he sure as hell wouldn't live there.

"Can't help but notice that your middle class is receding faster than Morrison's hairline." Jesse said to Hanzo.

"Hey!"

"And I cannot but notice that you've built an entire society around the psychotic ideology that the average human posses an inherent drives of altruism and kindness." Hanzo replied.

"Don't seem psychotic to me."

"I gathered. Perhaps you are projecting your own nature too heavily onto the rest of your species."

Jesse felt a warm flash of sweetness in his heart as he noticed the ever-so-slightly softened corners of Hanzo's mouth. Jesse did his best not to grin and give them both away.

"I just don't think people need a gun to their head to work and better all that around them." he said. "And I think they'd be a lot better to each other if they weren't poisoned by authoritarian rulers who ain't got our best interest at heart. That so wrong?"

"Hmm. I find the notion that humans would do anything less than devolve into a murderous, amoral rage without a gun to their heads to be horribly naive."

"Christ. Guess that's where we disagree. Though I suppose I can't prove you wrong."

"Nor I with you." Hanzo replied, giving into his smile. "Although I will still call you a fool."

"Fight! Fight!" Hana chanted. "Fight!"

Hanzo waved it off. Things calmed down, at least for a while. Jesse wasn't sure if Hanzo was intentional when he left his foot in place after their toes bumped together. Jesse continued to work with a soft mouth as Hana bickered with Morrison.

"Well, every continent in the entire world has enough nuclear weaponry to obliterate the earth several times over, and they're all constantly pointing them at each other." Hana said, shaking her head.

"Ah, peace at last." Morrison said, slumping down in his chair with a sigh of relief.

"How do you feel about the fact that every country is at war with every other country?"

"They'll unite when the aliens attack."

A few seconds later, Morrison's screen and globe turned red as his Earth exploded, earning him a GAME OVER.

"What happened?" Morrison asked angrily, jumping from his seat.

"A slight breeze." Genji muttered.

Jesse felt a surge of competition rush though him as he realized it was just him and Hanzo left. He took another look at his own globe, planning his next move.

 _ 'I believe your ideologies are naive.'_ Hanzo sent.

Jesse nearly jumped. While Genji and Morrison bickered, he gave Hanzo a little side eye, confused. Hanzo had never sent him a message over the neuro-comm when they weren't in battle.

 _'Huh?'_ he replied.

_ 'I believe your ideologies to be naive and I do not wish for you to succeed. However, I thought it would be right for you to know that you can change the difficulty settings with just a few commands.' _

Jesse raised an eyebrow.

_ 'Really now?' _

_ 'Command prompt button brings up a keyboard. Type forward slash game mode colon reset difficulty.' _

Making sure Hana wasn't looking and that the camera was off him, Jesse did as he was told. He breathed a sigh of relief as his game difficulty turned back to normal, the tornadoes and plagues leaving.

 _'Much obliged.'_ Jesse sent Hanzo with a smile he couldn't help. Hanzo didn't respond.

A few short minutes passed. Jesse managed to stretch out to over fifty percent of the planet. However, before he could get to proud of himself, he was interrupted by a little ding sounded out from Hanzo's board, his globe and screen suddenly flashing green.

"Huh." Hana said, surprised. "Looks like one of you managed to conquer the globe on your first try after all."

"Does he win?" asked Jesse.

"I'm gonna have to say no when I look at his society's satisfaction rate. The winner will be whoever can survive the longest from here on out."

Jesse looked down at his globe, wondering if he could actually win this thing. As he pondered, Hana took a closer look at Hanzo's society.

"Does it concern you that your society has been moving closer and closer to a global dictatorship that grants an overwhelming amount of power to a very small group of people while taking away power from the rest of the planet?" she asked.

"No." Hanzo replied, voice honest. "I believe this is necessary for our survival."

"And what do you plan to do with all that money?"

Jesse watched as Hanzo eyed the exponentially growing net worth of his social elites as it, quite literally, became untraceable. Hanzo's eyebrows came together while his mouth twisted to the side in thought.

"Money is a symbol of power." Hanzo replied.

"Have you considered that maybe you were lied to?" Jesse asked.

"Hmm?"

"Have you considered that maybe the people who shares the information with you that built your beliefs were just doing it so that you would go out and aid a system that printed money for 'em?"

Hanzo's brows came further together, his eyes squinting.

"I suppose I cannot dispute that possibility at this moment." he replied. "Although I will continue with my plans.”

Hanzo returned to his globe. Hana tilted the camera so both she and Hanzo could be viewed.

"Now we watch as a man continues his reign of tyranny." Hana whispered as Hanzo worked. "Not for money, not for power, but to avoid having his entire world view fractured into pieces."

Jesse felt a vain flush of pride when his own screen and globe globe began to flash green as the last few stubborn countries gave into the union of beautiful anarchy.

"How about that?" Jesse mused, flicking his eyebrow at Hana.

Hana squinted at Jesse's globe, and then at the stats listed on the panel behind it. Jesse raised an eyebrow when her frown quickly shifted in a laugh.

"What?" asked Jesse.

"It seems that you've gotten so politically conservative that you've actually looped into the far left." Hana answered. "Congratulations, you're an anarcho-communist."

Jesse's eyes widened into dinner plates.

"An anarcho... _what?"_ Jesse drawled.

With no warning, Morrison burst into a fit of laughter, producing a sound that Jesse had never heard him produce before. Jesse's eyes widened into dinner plates as he viewed his creation, realizing that Hana was right.

"Aaaand, there go the borders." Hana said.

Jesse's face turned white as the flimsy borders between countries diminished into dust.

"No!" Jesse exclaimed. "My nation!"

"Don't you--don't you mean _our_ nation?" Morrison wheezed.

 _ 'Thank you Jesse_.' Hana sent. _ 'Anacho-communism is super in with middle-class moms.'_

Even Hanzo chuckled as Jesse stared at his globe, desperately wondering where he'd gone wrong and how to fix it. Trying to collapse society, he announced a world wide new ruling that heroin was illegal, hoping a black market would form and wreck everything. Unfortunately, the police force simply refused to enforce the regulation. Jesse tugged at his bangs, cursing his citizens for being so damn component.

"Why are you doing that?" Hana asked.

"No reason." Jesse answered, laughing maniacally.

Desperately, Jesse pressed a few buttons and sent a giant meteor hurling into the earth. Within seconds, his population number plummeted to zero and the words GAME OVER flashed. Jesse let out a sigh of relief.

"And there you have it, kids. Communism is never the answer." he said, making eye contact with Hana's camera.

"But your people were happy..." Genji replied, frowning.

"Well, that was stupid." Hana said, grabbing the prize shirt. "However, we can finally announce our winner!"

Hanzo sat awkwardly as Hana threw her arm around him in a congratulatory half-hug. Everyone else clapped halfheartedly.

"Is there anyone you would like to thank, Hanzo?" asked Hana.

"Uh--"

Hanzo was cut off as Hana forced the limited edition sequin rhinestone holographic t-shirt over his head.

"Merch link in bio." Hana coughed before turning back to the camera.

"Do the rest of us win anything?" asked Morrison.

"Yes. You've all won a great stream with me!"

"But, do we win any money? Are we getting paid?"

Hana rubbed her temples.

"Today's stream was sponsored by Squarespace." she said once she'd finished. "Squarespace is a service that helps you create beautiful websites without any need for experience in computer science. Using the link in the description, you can get your first two months three, and support your favorite creator, D.Va!"

"So we are getting paid then, right?" Morrison asked. Hana ignored him.

"--bye bye for now, I'll see you all on Wednesday!"

Hana reached to turn off the camera. Genji jumped out of his chair.

"Wubalubadubdub!" he shouted while doing something strange with his arms and head. He bent one arm and leaned his face into the crook of it while keeping the other straight, his hands pointing in the same direction.

"You bastard!" Hana howled.

Jesse McCree had a lot to think about when he went to bed that night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CLIFF NOTES VERSION  
> 1\. Hanzo is a hard core utilitarian (person who believes that society should be structured a fashion that brings about the most benifit to the most people. This is a philosophy created by marx, although it is _separate_ from communism). However, he also has a very pessimistic outlook on human nature, and it is unclear how much of this was taught to him deliberately or just came as a result from the life he lead. He believed that without strict guidelines, most humans will literally just start killing and eating each other.  
>  2\. McCree has an optimistic outlook on human nature, as he believes they are inherently kind creatures who are naturally capable of governing themselves. Furthermore, he believes that official regulations are not only unnecessary, but inherently enablers for corrupt people to gain power and screw over society for everyone else.  
> 3\. Genji has never thought about politics before.  
> 4\. Hanzo doesn't like it when people assume McCree is stupid, both for personal reasons and because Hanzo doesn't like it when people make preemptive assumptions about individual people based on culture.


	12. Landis

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Notes.
> 
> 1\. MY BOI HIEMALLILY drew a snap shot of this chapter and it's pretty neat see it at https://mobile.twitter.com/Hiemallily/status/1111866496060481536
> 
> 2\. This chapter contains a halloween party. Originally, I thought this chapter would be out by 2018 october. No I'm not kidding.
> 
> 3\. the word "causated" is used in this chapter. Despite all intuition, this is not a real word, for some dumb stupid reason. However, I am choosing to use it any way because English is a terrible language. I use it to mean the act of causation, ie breathing is causated with continuing to live.
> 
> 3\. Hanzo's weight has fluxuted a lot in my writing. I have no idea how much he weighs. I assume he weighs about as much as McCree as he's shorter but bulkier so that he can use that demi-god bow, but I also have no idea how much McCree would weigh. My original guess was 200, but according to google current chris prat only weighs 185 and he's about the same height and only mildly beefier than McCree so god help me.

Jesse had learned a lot about Hanzo since he'd come to Gibraltar, especially over the last several months.

He'd learned about what Hanzo loved; theoretical physics, raw fish, complaining, a well-ordered sock drawer, and beating Morrison in hand-to-hand combat. Jesse had also learned more about what Hanzo loathed; trite media content, crowds, doing things he was bad at, being labeled as conceded, and on an unrelated note, small talk that "goes beyond a stranger's initial attempt either to silently deduce my cultural background for the purpose of gauging which superficial form of greeting will be the least likely to offend me or to simply evaluate if I'm a threat."

Since they'd been acquainted, Jesse had found himself either endeared or fascinated by nearly every aspect of Hanzo, and what little he didn't like was made little when looking at the whole picture.

However, there was one particular aspect of Hanzo's character that Jesse felt like he might never be able to grasp. Besides when he wound up shaking on the floor, Hanzo seemed to keep the horrors that he'd seen internal, which meant Jesse didn't know the full extent of Hanzo's pain. For the most part, Hanzo seemed fine, or at least high-functioning. He'd clearly healed quite a bit. But still, Jesse'd known from the first time he'd heard of what Hanzo did that it wasn't something a man walked out of to ever be completely whole again.

So Jesse wasn't terrified, but he was a little jolted to wake up at three in the morning and see that Hanzo was no longer in bed.

Jesse pulled the blankets off Hanzo's sleeping mat and did a quick little loop around Hanzo's quarters to see if he was just getting a midnight snack. However, it seemed he had left entirely. Knowing that texting Hanzo 'where are you' at three am wasn't going to end well, Jesse pulled on some clothes from the floor and grabbed his shoes, setting off in search of Hanzo.

He checked all of Hanzo's favorite places, but couldn't find him in the garden, either of the gyms, or the breakroom. Finally, Jesse found Hanzo at the outdoor practice range, and had a small heart attack to see that he was sitting at the edge of the range, his feet dangling over the cliff side, pointing down into the crashing waves over a hundred feet below.

Jesse couldn't see Hanzo's face very well, but his form seemed thoughtful. Jesse made a beeline down the stairs to where Hanzo was sitting. Hanzo flinched, the tiniest bit, when Jesse's spurs jingled against the ground.

“Hey, pardner, how's it going?” Jesse asked, not even trying to hide his worry as he scooted up next to Hanzo, pressing himself against Hanzo's left side.

Hanzo’s mouth twisted in something indistinguishable.

"It goes fine.” he replied.

"Really? Nothing you want to talk about? Nothing you want to talk about inside?”

Jesse felt like he was speaking too fast.

"You are an imbecile.” Hanzo replied calmly.

"Yeah, aren't we all.” Jesse stated, tossing the incredibly wilted apple core he found next to him over the edge of the cliff.

Hanzo didn't reply for almost a minute, but he at least seemed enough like his usual self that a fraction of Jesse's anxiety left. Jesse stared into the dark waves below their feet, glad he'd brought his serape to shield from the cold.

“I would not jump.” said Hanzo.

Jesse blinked.

“Oh. Uh, good." he replied.

"It would not kill me.”

“Huh?”

“If I jumped, the fall would not kill me. A few broken bones would be probable, and a significant amount of discomfort.”

Jesse looked over. Hanzo met his gaze, completely serious.

“If I wanted to end my life, I would use the cyanide lodged in my rectum.” Hanzo continued.

“But you--uh--don't want to, right?” Jesse asked.

Hanzo looked back out over the water and didn't speak for a chunk of a moment that was far too long for Jesse's tastes. Jesse did his best to keep his throat closed, worried that his heart was going to try and crawl its way into his mouth.

“Four years ago, my brother requested I not.” Hanzo answered.

“And that’s enough?”

“Apparently.”

Jesse frowned. He was far from satisfied with the response.

“But what do you want?" Jesse asked.

Hanzo sighed. He opened his mouth a few times, as if starting to speak, but it took about three tries and almost a minute for him to get started.

“l wanted to for a very long time.” he finally admitted. “For many years, I lived without much that a man simply needs.”

Jesse was silent. He couldn't think of anything to say, just laid his hand on Hanzo's knee and rubbed affectionately when it didn't get kicked off.

“I will say,” Hanzo continued, “the last three years have been different. It is no longer an urge that I wake to in the morning and scratches at my ankles during the day until I fall into bed."

The picture Hanzo painted in his head made Jesse’s chest ache like he'd been punched. Over the decades, Jesse'd learned what it felt like to not want to live. He'd contemplated doing something about it a few times when he'd first been forced to join Blackwatch, but he felt he couldn't even begin to imagine what Hanzo had described. Jesse turned his head casually to the side so that Hanzo couldn't see his grimace.

“--I don't mean to invoke your pity,” Hanzo quickly added. “I apologize if--"

“No, you keep going.”

Hanzo took another collective breath.

"The fact is that I no longer wish it so deeply." said Hanzo. "But I cannot say the urge has been completely stifled.”

"Oh." Jesse replied, frowning.

“Jesse?”

"Yes?"

"Please do not worry for me. I would not consider myself in danger of acting on my occasional urges, especially considering my brother's wishes. I am simply telling you because I wish you to understand."

Jesse brows came together in thought as he closed his mouth and let them sit together in silence for a few long moments. Keeping his hand on Hanzo's knee, Jesse listened to the distant sound of the waves. When he looked back over to Hanzo, Jesse watched the wind toy with the black chunk of hair over Hanzo's eyes.

"That's why I was so worried when you when to fight Amélie by yourself." Jesse admitted.

"The suicidal undertones?"

"Yeah."

Hanzo didn't reply. Jesse let his spurrs scrape against the cliff.

“Can I ask you something?” Jesse asked after a moment. “And you don’t gotta answer.”

“Ask.”

“What--what did you do?”

"When?"

"After you killed him. And after you found out he was alive.”

Hanzo chuckled to himself. Jesse didn't think he would ever understand the joke.

"Before I tell you that, there is something you need to understand.” Hanzo replied.

"Tell me.”

Hanzo took a deep breath.

"When I was a child, and a young man, and even after that, I was grounded in a very specific culture, with a very specific set of customs and a very specific idea of what was ethical, as well as a very specific idea of how to reach that which was ethical."

“Never would a' guessed.” Jesse replied.

“My mentors taught me that through our perpetuated power we could bring about political order. And that political order was necessary for society to continue. They did not just tell me, but they showed me, through multi-variable case-studies and anecdotes that I was foolish enough to find objective justification towards the fundamentals of the ideologies bestowed upon me. I--I apologize if this sounds as if I'm trying to remove the blame from myself--"

“You say whatever you damn well want, Hanz.”

Hanzo's mouth softened.

“What you need to understand is that by the time I reached my third decade of life, I had not a smidgen of doubt that with my clan, we could bring about, perhaps not prosperity, but an order to the race of people that I saw and still do often see as disgusting, violent _animals._ I believed this so strongly that any God could have come down and called me a fool and I would have spat in their face.”

Jesse nodded, but didn't reply, feeling like it wasn't his place to.

“And as I hope you can imagine, I would do anything to bring my beliefs to their logical conclusion.” Hanzo continued.

In the few years that Jesse had known Hanzo, he'd never once judged Hanzo for trying to kill his brother. He'd never felt he'd known enough about how it came about to really have any place to. However, this was the first moment he ever felt he understood why Hanzo had done it.

"Oh." Jesse said.

“In the middle of my thirties, I walked around a more a vessel of confusion than a man of flesh and blood. I still held my beliefs, but the guilt of what I had done was--breaking me.”

“What did you do?”

“I drank. And I wandered. I lost almost all of my money. A few years later, he found me. And after that. I drank and I wandered some more.”

It was about the answer Jesse was expecting.

“In my travels, I saw millions of people, of dozens of countries and cultures and social statuses, each with their own ideas of art and ethics and philosophy and politics, many of which contradicted each other.” Hanzo followed.

“Yeah, humans tend to do that.” Jesse said, slipping a cigarette out of his pocket.

"The more I watched them, the more a realization started to form, no matter how adamant my struggles to ignore it.”

“Realization?”

“Seeing the sheer diversity--of the ideals of the humans who were able to function far better than I would have believed they could--this had some part of my mind beginning to suspect that the likelihood that I had ever been right about anything, in a statistical sense, was one in millions. Despite any rational justification I could have offered for my view of sociology, for the first time in my life, I was confronted with a plethora of variables I hadn't even thought to consider.”

Jesse thought about what Hanzo said, tried as hard as he could to grasp the thought. At first it was difficult, as he'd never been involved with any form of extremism. However, he quickly realized that new variables he hadn't thought to consider were something that Hanzo gave him every day.

Still, Jesse couldn't even begin to imagine what it must have been like for Hanzo.

"Zenyatta is a reminder of this diversity, as is my brother. As are all of you, to some extent.” Hanzo continued.

Jesse smiled.

“But I worry that if I ever truly confront this realization that I've kept away for so long, that if I ever face how unfathomably misguiding most of my life's most sizable choices were, that I would not be able to live with myself.” Hanzo finished.

Along with Jesse's new understanding towards Hanzo came sorrow. Jesse blinked, letting a tear fall from his eye and roll down his cheek. He turned his face towards Hanzo when he found himself with a hand under his chin, pulling him.

"Oh, Jesse." said Hanzo, wiping away the tear with his thumb. "You are very kind to me."

Jesse didn't reply, too busy focusing on taming the flame of emotion inside him. He lit a cigarette and was careful to make sure the smoke didn't end up in Hanzo's face.

"It ain't just cause Zen's a bot that you don't wanna practice with him, is it?" Jesse asked once he had collected his voice.

"No." Hanzo admitted. "His circuitry is certainly a large reason, but my hesitance was more nuanced than that."

"Was?"

Hanzo turned his face towards Jesse, his eyes soft.

"I have decided that you are right. I will see what Zenyatta has to offer for me." said Hanzo.

Jesse's shoulders straightened with interest.

"Really?" he coughed.

"Yes. At least, as long as it does not require me to quit my job."

Jesse smiled so suddenly that his cigarette fell from his mouth and into the water below. He let out a shallow sigh as satisfaction and appreciation for Hanzo's character filled his chest to the brim.

"I hope you don't regret it." said Jesse, tossing his arm over Hanzo's shoulder.

"Even if I fail to find it constructive, I doubt I will regret the experience."

"I think you'll like him. I know you don't really like religion, but I think he's running more of a Buddhism thing than an evangelic--"

"You misjudge me." Hanzo interrupted. "Some religions I do not mind."

"Oh. Really?"

"Yes. I like Mormons."

Jesse blinked. He eyed Hanzo's face, but Hanzo's face gave no indication that he was joking.

"Well then, folks." Jesse replied, shaking his head. "You heard it straight from the horse's mouth; the man likes Mormons."

Silence washed over them again as the conversation lulled. Despite the chill, Jesse felt a new warmth in his chest. When Hanzo started to shiver, ever so slightly, Jesse wrapped Hanzo in his serape.

"I'm going away for the week." Hanzo said.

"Where you going?"

"Italy. Just a recon."

"When are you leaving?"

"Tomorrow."

Jesse felt a twinge of irritation. Hanzo never told him in advance when he was leaving.

Then again, Jesse supposed he had never asked him to.

"Hey, could you do me a favor?" Jesse asked.

"What?"

"Could you tell me a little earlier when you're gonna leave for so long?"

Hanzo's face was thoughtful as he processed the request.

"I cannot make the promise that I will have a perfect success rate," he replied, "but I will make a conscious effort to change my behavior."

"Oh. Much obliged."

Jesse felt his eyes soften as the twinge of irritation left him.

"So you'll be back right in time for Halloween, then, won't you?" Jesse asked.

"I suppose so."

"You gonna dress up?"

"No."

"You gonna go to the party?"

Next week was the annual Overwatch Halloween party, one of two official parties they were supposed to hold and one of twenty parties that they ended up throwing in total. Hanzo had gone to none of them.

"As I've been running low on sake, perhaps I will visit to steal some alcohol." Hanzo replied, wincing.

"Really now?" asked Jesse. "Cause I think we'd all like to see..."

Jesse trailed off as Hanzo moved towards him, pressing a kiss just below his right eyelid. When Hanzo pulled away, Jesse did his best to not stare like a moron.

"Well then..." Jesse muttered, not realizing how wide he was smiling until he heard it in his own voice.

"My apologies." Hanzo replied, and Jesse could see the start of a flush grow at the tips of his ears.

Not knowing how to respond with words, Jesse pushed their faces together, lining up the bridges of their noses for a moment before sliding up to kiss Hanzo right between the eyebrows. When Jesse pulled away, Hanzo fell into his chest, hiding his face. Jesse held Hanzo there for a while in silence, using him as a source of warmth in the cold night air.

"You ready to go inside?" Jesse finally asked.

Hanzo pulled away. He was frowning, but only in the way he always was.

"I suppose so." he replied.

Jesse stood, offering a hand. Hanzo took it. Despite everything, Jesse let go once they were both standing.

"Lead the way."

 

~~~~

 

One week later, Jesse had a small heart attack when the front door to his unlocked quarters opened. However, his anxiety was cleared and replaced with gratefulness in seconds when a dead-eyed, messy-haired Hanzo came into view.

"Knock much?" Jesse asked from his spot on the couch, feeling a wide smile melt onto his face.

"My apologies." Hanzo replied, voice rough with exhaustion. Jesse let his eyes go to Hanzo's attire.

Hanzo was wearing a simple black Italian suit, an indication that he had been forced to go undercover at an ultra pricey hotel. As for Hanzo's stance and the state of his stray collar, Jesse suspected that he was more than a little exhausted. Jesse wasn't surprised. To an outsider, a week undercover at a hotel might have seemed like an easy task, however having had to deal with the dress codes and patrons more than once, Jesse knew that it was far from ideal.

"How was Venice?" asked Jesse as Hanzo stepped from his shoes. Jesse hoped Hanzo didn't find it impolite when his eyes lingered.

Hanzo didn't answer with words, but with a long, weary sigh. Shifting his shoulders, Hanzo let his suit jacket fall to the floor to reveal a white dress shirt and a little red and black waistcoat.

Jesse put his book down and opened his arms.

 _"Oof."_ Jesse breathed as Hanzo crashed into him. Hanzo didn't really reciprocate the hug, just curled up into a ball in Jesse's lap. Shifting the both of them, Jesse got two arms under Hanzo and pulled him close.

Hanzo was silent for a long while, few minutes at least. Jesse might have believed he'd fallen asleep had Hanzo not finally looked up at him with open brown eyes.

"You want me to rub your calves?" Jesse asked.

Keeping his legs in Jesse's lap, Hanzo flopped down with his back against the couch and stuck his right calf into Jesse's hand. Jesse took the hint, carefully pulling the leg of Hanzo's pants up to the knee to dig his fingers into the tense muscle of Hanzo's calf.

"I get the feeling you don't wanna talk about it." said Jesse.

"I never knew that my feet could become so tired from doing only the most mundane, traumatizingly dull of tasks." Hanzo replied, voice quiet.

"Think I know what you mean."

"Tomorrow I will tell Winston I would prefer the front lines before I stay at another Tramezzo."

Jesse grinned as he worked Hanzo's calf. When Jesse's fingers brought a troublesome knot to justice, Hanzo arched his back and gave a groan so loud that Jesse, weak as he was, had to make a few minor adjustments to the position of Hanzo's feet in his lap to avoid sending an overly specific message. His right calf noticeably less tense, Hanzo pulled it from Jesse's grip and replaced it with his left.

"Anything I can do for you?" Jesse asked. "You wanna complain?"

"I'd like to have a drink."

"Can't wait til the party?"

"I suppose I can wait a few hours before turning to alcoholism." Hanzo replied.

"You gonna stay? Or are you just gonna steal some booze and mosey on out?"

"We shall see."

Hanzo was silent for a few minutes, save for a few sounds of pleasure as Jesse worked the knots in his calves. With interest, Jesse let his gaze run down Hanzo's body. He didn't get to see Hanzo in a well-tailored waistcoat very often, so he savored the opportunity.

"You look nice." Jesse said.

"When don't I?"

"Got me there."

Eyes still closed, Hanzo's mouth twisted with thought. He looked like he was considering something. Jesse got caught staring when Hanzo's eyes opened abruptly.

"Will you do something for me?" asked Hanzo.

"Course. What can I do you for?"

"I would like to have an orgasm."

As was standard, Hanzo's abruptness both sent a wave of heat down to Jesse's pelvis and one of endearment up to his chest. Quickly reaching into his pocket, Jesse turned his phone off.

"You want an orgasm?" Jesse asked over his slow smile. "Shit, I'll give you an orgasm."

Hanzo straightened up in Jesse's lap and took a seat. To Jesse's surprise, Hanzo didn't straddle him, but sat with both legs to one side and delicately pushed away Jesse's hands when they tried to sink into Hanzo's waist. Jesse couldn't help but feel like he was missing something, as Hanzo was usually only a tease before he broke the ice.

"Before we..." Hanzo started, his brows coming together with uncertainty. "I'd like to make a specific request of you."

"What do you got for me, sweetheart?"

"I've had a very long week."

Hanzo didn't give any more information, his mouth falling closed and his eyes dipping down to Jesse's chest. Jesse flicked a brow upward.

"You had a long week?" he asked, waiting for the punchline.

"I had a long week and I would like to be treated poorly."

Jesse was pretty sure what Hanzo was getting at, although he found Hanzo's phrasing so strange that his first instinct was mild concern.

"W--what?" asked Jesse.

"Do you remember when I told you I enjoyed the thought of being psychologically degraded?"

Heat spiked through Jesse's stomach as his suspicions were confirmed. His imagination running rampant, Jesse swallowed hard before opening his mouth to reply.

"You want me to dominate you?"

"If you would be so kind."

Jesse's blood boiled hot. Hanzo turned his face away as he reached into his pocket to pull out a condom and a tiny bottle of lubricant. Leaning over, he placed them both on the end table to Jesse's right.

"You sure about this?" Jesse asked.

"Yes. Unless you do not want to, in which case I will promptly change the subject." Hanzo answered.

"No, I want to, I just don't wanna scare you."

"You will not."

"Overwhelm you, then."

Hanzo sighed, more out of thought than weariness, at least as far as Jesse could tell.

"I will be fine. We are both capable of compartmentalizing." Hanzo replied.

"You gonna give me a guideline?" Jesse asked, linking his arms behind Hanzo's back. "What do you want?"

"I would be open to a wide variety of--tactics." Hanzo admitted.

"Well, what aren't you open to?"

"I would prefer not to have my hair pulled, or to be choked. I am not interested in physical harm. Although I can handle small amounts as a--form of--retaliation."

"You mean punishment?"

Hanzo stiffened and didn't clarify, at least not with words. New color came into his face.

"That's ok, darlin'. I think I got a pretty good idea." Jesse followed. When Hanzo didn't reply again, Jesse dug both his hands around Hanzo's upper torso, rolling the pads of his thumbs over the fabric of Hanzo's shirt and vest that covered his nipples. Hanzo's breath caught as his flush deepened.

"Do not be kind." Hanzo whispered.

"I won't. But you tell me right away if I push you too hard, alright?"

For the first time since he'd taken a seat in Jesse's lap, Hanzo's expression turned from blank to unimpressed.

"I asked you to condescend me." he said. "Not patronize me."

"Fair 'nuff. Now stand up."

When Hanzo turned his head and raised an eyebrow with genuine confusion, Jesse smirked.

"Stand up." Jesse repeated, snaking both hands under Hanzo's thighs and pushing the tiniest bit in a clear invitation.

Taking in a breath, Hanzo stood and dusted off the front of his pants. He gave Jesse a suspicious glare.

"Walk out to there." Jesse continued, pointing to the space about a foot or two from the coffee table.

"Where are you going wi--"

"Don't make me ask again."

Hanzo's eyes widened with realization. With a bit of caution, he walked to the spot Jesse had pointed out. Jesse leaned back with his arms behind his head and propped his feet up on the coffee table so that the stirring that was about to start in his pants would be fully visible.

"Take off your pants." Jesse ordered, feeling the blood rush into his pelvis. There was something irresistible at the thought of bossing Hanzo around and getting away with it.

Hanzo turned his wide eyes and slight frown away as he undid the front button of his pants with an audible pop. Jesse made a show of watching carefully as Hanzo's fingers slid the zipper down. Hanzo pushed the undone trousers off his legs and stepped out of them, leaving his bottom half only covered by smooth skin, short, tight, dark briefs, and mid-knee high black socks.

Jesse felt his own cock tighten as he caught sight that Hanzo was already half-hard.

Hanzo reached for the buttons of his shirt.

"No." Jesse interjected. "Take your underwear off."

Hanzo’s hands trembled as he stepped out of his briefs.

"Turn around." Jesse followed once Hanzo had finished.

Still refusing to meet Jesse's piercing eyes, Hanzo spun around, nice and slow on feet that were starting to shake even more than his hands had been. Jesse nearly drooled for the few seconds when Hanzo's ass came squarely into view.

Even after all this time, Jesse didn't think he was ever going to get used to seeing Hanzo's butt. The way it curved into his back, and transitioned into his upper thighs was so well sculpted that Jesse always felt like he had to lay down.

Finished with his pirouette, Hanzo turned to face forwards once again, and Jesse was quick to notice the new fullness of his erection, a swollen flash of dark pink flush, nearly touching the fabric of the vest that covered his navel.

"Thank you kindly. Now, untie your hair."

Hanzo pulled his ribbon undone, and Jesse struggled to maintain his composure as dark hair spilled down Hanzo's shoulders, a sight that Jesse had long since known drove himself wild.

"You see that table over there?" Jesse asked, pointing to the kitchen table.

"Yes." Hanzo said, his mouth dry.

Jesse felt his face heat at the thought of the words he was about to say.

"Bend over it. On your elbows." he ordered.

Hanzo blinked. A few moments passed, and Hanzo stayed on his feet.

"You hard a' hearin'?" Jesse asked. "Bend over it."

Hanzo continued to stay still. He shifted his weight, ever so slightly from side to side.

Jesse narrowed his eyes, trying to understand Hanzo's motivations. Jesse's initial worry was that he had asked for too much, but at this point, he trusted Hanzo to be secure enough to say something if that had happened. And further more, Jesse hadn't missed the way Hanzo's pupils had widened with the the words 'bend over'.

Jesse's stomach flipped when he realized that Hanzo was trying to find out what would happen if he disobeyed.

"I ain't gonna ask again." Jesse threatened, darkening his tone.

Hanzo didn't move, although his cock twitched once in response.

"Alright." said Jesse, shaking his head. "If you really wanna do this the hard way."

Hanzo watched with nearly intimidating care as Jesse got to his feet and took a few steps around the coffee table. Hanzo gave only the most pathetic of reservations as he was yanked back towards the couch

Jesse sat down on the very edge of the couch, and pulled Hanzo down with him. Hanzo yelped and squirmed as he was lied out, stomach down across Jesse's lap. As rough as he could bear to be, Jesse grabbed and pulled Hanzo by the ass until Hanzo's stomach was pressed over right thigh. Hanzo propped his elbows up on the couch to Jesse's right side, arching his back against Jesse's torso, and Jesse used his left knee to separate Hanzo's thighs.

"Don't you ever think that I won't take you over my knee, you hear that?" Jesse questioned as he ran his flesh hand over the quivering ass in his lap.

Hanzo didn't respond, only let out a few ragged breaths as Jesse continued to rub. The breaths turned into a little yelp when a hand smacked him across the butt.

"I asked, 'did you hear that?'" Jesse repeated.

"Yes." Hanzo hissed, and he yelped once more as Jesse brought his hand down again. Not too hard, as Jesse now knew Hanzo to be more interested in the psychological implications than actual pain, but not too soft, either, because Jesse was trying to send a clear message.

Jesse smirked when he noticed he could already see two distinctive, pink hand prints against the milky porcelain of Hanzo's skin. He brought his hand down again, loving the way Hanzo's body responded to it

"Why am I doing this?" Jesse asked.

Wrapping both arms around a couch pillow, Hanzo smushed his face into it before answering.

"I need to be--punished." he replied.

Hanzo's voice was light and ragged as he spoke over his quick breath. Jesse couldn't get enough.

"Yeah?" Jesse asked. "You need to be punished? What are you getting punished for?"

"My behavior has been--I have defied your wish-- _aah!"_

Hanzo cut himself off with a cry as Jesse's hand came down again, on his other cheek this time. Jesse rubbed a smooth circle over the spot he had just smacked. He repeated the process a few more times, a slap and some rubbing, although the third time around he moved his fingers a little lower, brushing over the cleft between Hanzo's legs.

The sound Hanzo made was incredible.

"That's right." Jesse said, as buttery as he could manage with how revved up he felt. "You're gonna do what I say. Got that?"

"Yes."

"If I ask you to drop down to your knees and suck my cock, you're gonna do it. If I ask you to bend over the table and spread your legs, you're gonna do it."

For Jesse, most of the appeal of dominating someone came from getting to watch how much his partner enjoyed it. However, there was also a touch of appeal in playing a character that was such a poor reflection of his own values. Jesse didn't really understand why he enjoyed it, but he did.

With a few tiny, shaky thrusts, Hanzo started to rub himself against the thigh between his legs.

"Oh, no you don't." Jesse said, steadying the movement with two hands on Hanzo's hips. "We ain't doing this so that you can enjoy yourself. This is so that you can learn a little lesson about who's in charge."

Hanzo whimpered.

Fucking whimpered. Jesse's abdomen burned at the sound. He was sure that Hanzo could feel how hard his cock was against his stomach.

Jesse momentarily removed his hands from Hanzo, and twisted them both a bit so that he could grab the bottle of lube Hanzo'd left on the end table. He popped it open with a clear and loud unclasping sound before spreading a bit on his fingers.

"Who's in charge?" Jesse asked. Hanzo stayed silent, so Jesse whacked him again. A few spots of Hanzo's ass turned shiny with the lubricant spread across Jesse's fingers, and Jesse liked the way it looked more than he should have.

"You."

Jesse pushed his fingers in and stretched Hanzo out nice and slow, the way he liked it. When Jesse's finger's bumped into Hanzo's capsule, he pulled it out easily from habit.

As he worked Hanzo open with his fingers, he forced Hanzo with words and hands to keep still as he did, having to once again stop Hanzo from rubbing himself against the knee between his legs.

"You gonna start behavin', honey?" Jesse asked, shoving two metal fingers into Hanzo’s mouth.

Hanzo moaned, loud and clear. He bit down on Jesse's fingers when he was smacked again.

"What did I say about not answering my questions?" Jesse followed, sliding his flesh fingers back between Hanzo's legs. "I asked you if you were gonna start behaving. Or do I need to keep you here all night?"

"I will--" Hanzo mumbled, only to be cut off by another smack.

"You'll what?"

"Behave."

"Say it. The whole thing."

Jesse couldn't see Hanzo's face, but he had a hunch that it had just flushed red across the bridge of his nose.

"I--I will--behave." Hanzo stuttered.

Jesse removed his hands. Hanzo did his best to stop shaking.

"Bend over the table." Jesse ordered, once more, pointing at his dinner table.

Hanzo got to shaking feet, his face still turned out of view. He picked up his ribbon off the floor on his way to the table. When he got there, he bent himself forward over it, resting his weight against his elbows and aligning his hips snug against the table cloth. He positioned the ribbon under his cock and popped onto his toes, presumably to avoid chafing.

Jesse watched, sighing a bit in appreciation when he saw what the pose did for Hanzo's butt.

Jesse stood up from the couch, grabbing the condom on the end table. He didn't speak as he unzipped his pants, wanting Hanzo to hear it. He took only what he needed from his pants, pushing his underwear aside, and he stood behind Hanzo's as he rolled the condom down and squeezed out more lubricant.

"Open your legs." Jesse ordered, struggling to keep his voice calm as a filthy flame rushed through him.

Hanzo's knees shifted a few tiny inches apart. Jesse chuckled, and knocked them a full half foot with his own. He lined himself up, but didn't push in, unsure if Hanzo wanted to be made to beg.

"Please." Hanzo said.

"Please what?"

Hanzo squirmed. Jesse ran a hand down his waist in amazement, the fabric of Hanzo's red and black waistcoat silky under Jesse's fingers.

"Fuck me."

"You gonna be good for me?"

"Yes."

Hanzo made a pretty little sound as Jesse sunk into him. Jesse bit his lip, needing to keep his composure in tact to perform his function.

Jesse waited a few moments for Hanzo to soften around him. It felt strange to do so in silence, without any banter. Although Jesse had no intention of breaking character.

"You ready?" Jesse asked.

"Mmhmm." Hanzo replied, nodding.

One hand at Hanzo's hip and the other on his shoulder, Jesse slid himself in and out once, as slow as he could manage. When Hanzo didn't resist, he gave him another slow thrust, although this one was even more of a tease. 

"This what you want?" Jesse asked.

"Harder." Hanzo pleaded.

"You gotta be patient, now."

Jesse kept his pace as tortuously slow as he could manage until Hanzo started to move hard against him, chasing stimulation.

"You stay put." Jesse said, placing a steady hand against Hanzo's butt to keep him in place.

"Please."

"I told you to be patient."

Jesse glowed in pride at Hanzo's sound of intense frustration. He waited until Hanzo had finally stopped shifting to press forward with any intensity. To his absolute satisfaction, Hanzo's knees nearly buckled when he did and Jesse had to hold him upright.

"You like that?" Jesse asked.

Hanzo didn't reply with words, just let out a shaky groan and turned into jelly as Jesse started to thrust. He flattened his upper body against the table, giving Jesse a good view of his strong back as he bounced across the wood. Jesse groaned at the sensation around his cock, tight and warm and stupidly satisfying.

Jesse bit his lip, completely out of his mind at the feeling of Hanzo's ass against his pelvis. Dirty lines of dialogue that he longed to voice swirled around his head, although he approached them with caution, unsure as to how they'd be received. However, he supposed Hanzo had reacted well to everything so far. So Jesse concluded to be brave, but to stay cautious, and help let his sense of perception fall to Hanzo's body language, searching for cues.

"Love you like this." Jesse muttered.

"Uh."

"You like submittin' to me?"

 _"Yes._ " Hanzo replied, the word high in pitch.

It was strange to see Hanzo so uncomposed. Jesse wondered if he'd simply been submitted by pleasure, or if it was an act that he got off on playing. Either way, Jesse's core was on fire. There was something terribly intriguing about the fact that they were both clothed, as well as the fact that he was more clothed than Hanzo.

"You gonna answer anything I ask?" Jesse asked.

"Mmhmm."

Jesse gulped.

"When was the last time you touched yourself?" Jesse asked.

Hanzo was silent for a moment. Jesse slowed down slightly, preparing to back off, but sped back up when Hanzo started to speak.

"Four nights ago--when I was given the night off--at the hotel." Hanzo answered.

"And what did you think about?"

"I thought about you--walking in on me."

Hanzo's voice was breathless and his words were broken with with pleasure. Jesse drank up the sound.

"Thought about me walking in on you stroking your cock?" asked Jesse, barely able to get the words out without moaning over himself. "What'd I do?"

Hanzo made a noise that sounded like he was gritting his teeth. Arching his back, he raised his tailbone, giving Jesse an even better angle to aid both of them.

"What do you think about me doing to you, Hanzo?" Jesse repeated. "Come on, that's an order."

"So much." Hanzo answered, the words almost inaudible.

"Like?"

"Informing me of my--impurity. Punishing me for--not being able to wait--"

"Not being able to wait until you got home from work?" Jesse asked. "Don't you worry, I'd have made sure you'd be punished for that, right then and there."

Hanzo fell silent, save for the sharp little exhales he made every time he was pushed into. Jesse wanted more.

"What else you want me to do?" asked Jesse.

"I want you to make me your..."

"My what?"

"Fucktoy."

Jesse groaned, feeling his brows come together in a glare of focus and arousal as he considered his next move.

"What makes you think you ain't my fucktoy?" he asked.

Hanzo moaned and burrowed his face into the table. His long hair fell off his shoulders, creating a rippling black pool against the wood.

"You've always been my fucktoy. No matter how high and mighty you act." Jesse started, flushing hard. "Your job is to stay in line and let me play with you. Ain't hard."

"Am I--"

Hanzo cut himself off with a low groan when Jesse stabbed his next thrust straight into his prostate.

"Am I doing a--good job?" Hanzo followed, starting over.

Jesse nodded, digging his flesh hand into the meat of Hanzo's ass while he kept the other on the table.

"'Sides that little slip up early on, reckon you've been pretty good about following my orders. No more punishment required, least not this time."

Hanzo's inner walls were tight around Jesse's cock as Jesse felt himself start to climb towards something particularly strong. He might have slowed down, had Hanzo not looked just as close, if not closer.

 _"There._ " Hanzo called. "Right there."

"This ain't about you." Jesse replied as he followed through with Hanzo's request.

Hanzo cried out. Jesse pressed tighter against him, worried that Hanzo wouldn't be able to support himself much longer. His lower body was trembling now, sending out pleasant vibrations against Jesse's cock.

"May I finish?" Hanzo asked.

Jesse was about to give an automatic yes before an idea popped into his head. Looking at Hanzo, his body language and the way he was breathing indicated he had less than thirty seconds left in him.

"Not yet, kitten." Jesse replied. "Gotta wait for me."

Hanzo whimpered again as Jesse pounded him harder, making sure he was lined up right to be making Hanzo see white. Hanzo trembled more violently, and Jesse could feel when his skin started to get damp from sweat. Jesse didn't think he'd ever seen Hanzo so far gone before, and the sight was more than a little inspiring.

"Please?" Hanzo begged.

"No. You can wait."

"I-- _ah_ \--can't."

"You can't wait? You gonna disobey me?"

Hanzo didn't reply. Around his cock and under his hands, Jesse could feel Hanzo's muscles start to contract.

"There's gonna be consequences if you come." said Jesse, running his hands tight against Hanzo's tight waist.

"I--I."

Jesse could feel it when Hanzo started to come, from the way that his back twisted and his lower body nearly gave out. Touching Hanzo's sides, Jesse felt in awe how the orgasm ripped through Hanzo's body, long and powerful.

"Are you coming?" Jesse asked, voice low as Hanzo continued to convulse. "Weren't suppose to do that."

"No." Hanzo lied, calling out long and loud and prettier than Jesse'd ever heard before as he tightened himself against Jesse's cock. Jesse groaned as he neared the edge. He'd never seen Hanzo come for this long before.

Jesse was so close, so fired up by his fantasy, just needing one more thrust to--

Hanzo went completely slack. So much so that his knees crumbled under him. Jesse tipped himself forward, pinning Hanzo against the table so that neither of them fell over.

Their movement halted and silence fell. Jesse's cock was raging hard and hyper sensitive, enough so that he thought a slight breeze might tip him over the edge. It was possibly the most frustrating plateau he'd ever experienced, but he ignored it, more worried about what was going through Hanzo's head now that he'd finished and shattered the fantasy.

"You alright?" Jesse asked, voice weary.

Hanzo didn't respond with words, only groaned and dug his face into his palms.

As carefully as Jesse could manage, he reached across Hanzo's back and stroked his waist in the most affectionate manner he could.

"Hanzo?" asked Jesse. "Please tell me. Did I hurt you?"

"Was that not the point?" Hanzo answered, his voice filled with grit and shame. Jesse's heart sunk as he continued to rub. Hanzo deserved better than to feel dirty.

"...Suppose you're right."

Hanzo didn't reply. Still at a rock hard, twitching plateau, Jesse felt more tempted than he would have liked to admit to ask if he could finish in him. He quickly waved the thought away, guilty.

"You don't look alright." Jesse said to the back of Hanzo's head.

"I am compact."

"I'd like to help you. Can I help you?"

It took Hanzo a long while to respond. Jesse stroked his hand through Hanzo's hair as he waited, indulging his fingers through the damp black locks.

"I would like to discuss my emotions." Hanzo answered.

"Alright. You wanna do that here? Or do you wanna...wanna..."

In a unfamiliar turn of events that seemed to lack warning, Jesse felt a tremor go through his body as he started to come. Eye glued shut, he stayed silent during the duration of his climax, but he was sure Hanzo could tell what was happening, judging by the new tension in his body and the way his cock twitched. It was a very strange sensation, the pleasure clouded by guilt at the worry of making Hanzo feel used when he was so vulnerable.

"I'm sorry." Jesse said immediately after he'd finished, overtaken by shame. "I wasn't trying to--I didn't know it was gonna--"

"It's alright." Hanzo replied, shaking his head. "You did nothing wrong. And somehow, it makes you feel more approachable now that we both have something to be ashamed of.

"...Hey now."

Hanzo chuckled, quiet and short. Jesse felt a wave of relief, both for himself and for Hanzo at the sound.

"You wanna talk here, or the couch?" Jesse asked again, finishing his sentence this time.

"Couch."

Hanzo was limp and barely helpful as Jesse got to his feet, cradling a one-hundred and eighty pound man in his arms. The process of getting to the couch was slow and full of cracks, and when he arrived, Jesse dropped Hanzo onto the cushions.

"Ow." Hanzo said.

"You're fine." Jesse replied.

Jesse took a short detour to the kitchenette to wash his hands and to throw the condom away so he could zip his pants back up and toss Hanzo's hair ribbon in the laundry. On his way back, he grabbed Hanzo's underwear. Hanzo looked grateful when Jesse tossed them to him, immediately slipping them on. Back at the couch, Jesse took a seat next to Hanzo.

Hanzo immediately laid his head against Jesse's thighs. He turned his face away, but not before Jesse got a quick glance at it, cheeks dusted with light pink and a single, tiny trail of black from his eye, presumably from a tear that had come into contact with the liner he used on his eyes. Crotch sore, Jesse pulled Hanzo's head up for just a moment to put a pillow in his lap.

"Alright. What do you wanna talk about?" said Jesse.

"I would like to preface this by informing you that I'm not in anyway angry with you or even regretful of the situation." Hanzo answered. "But I am ashamed."

"Yeah, I got that. But why don't you tell me why?"

"Well, it's inevitable, is it not?"

"What do you mean?"

"Would the pleasure really exist without the shame?" Hanzo asked, his tone the way it was when he was thinking about something he'd not yet come to a definitive conclusion on. "Perhaps the...intense horror I feel towards the idea of being treated with such a low status is the very thing that makes it pleasurable in a certain environment."

Jesse scratched his chin as he considered the thought. He felt he didn't know enough about the subject to judge its validity, but it was an interesting thought nonetheless.

"Sounds like something Freud would say." Jesse replied. He smiled when Hanzo pushed his face away dismissively.

"Perhaps it does not matter."

"Maybe. Either way, you don't gotta be ashamed."

"You may be correct about that. Yet I still am."

"You worried about how I'm gonna look at you now?"

"...It is not unfeasible."

Jesse frowned. He put a metal hand on Hanzo's shoulder.

"Look, it's like you said before. We're adults, we can compartmentalize. I--I respect the hell outta you, and that ain't gonna change after seeing you like that." Jesse said.

Hanzo let out a long breath, some of the tension seemed to escape from his body, to Jesse's contentedness.

"I suppose that is exactly what I wished to hear from you." Hanzo replied.

Jesse chuckled.

"Glad to hear it. Anything else you need?" asked Jesse.

Hanzo spend a few seconds in what looked like genuine thought, his mouth twisted sideways and his focus internal.

"I suppose there is something else you could do for me." Hanzo answered.

"What?"

Hanzo turned to look Jesse in the eyes before replying.

"Tell me of a fixation you have. One that you're ashamed of."

A particular something immediately came to mind. Jesse felt a tiny bit of pink dust his checks at the thought.

"You sure this is what you need?" Jesse asked.

"Yes." Hanzo answered, his mouth tweaking into a little smile.

"Sure you're sure?"

"Yes."

Jesse pouted, but Hanzo contained to smile with almost mischievous intent.

"I, uh." Jesse started.

"You what?"

"It's real weird."

"Is it immoral?" Hanzo asked. "I will not think poorly of you if it is."

"I wouldn't say immoral..."

"Then what is it?"

"Strange."

"Is it strange because it is moderately disgusting, or simply because it is uncommon?"

"Somewhere between the two."

Hanzo turned his gaze right into Jesse's eyes with nothing short of fascination.

"Tell me." he ordered.

Jesse turned his face away. He envied the pillow under Hanzo's head, wishing he had something to hide his face.

"If it would not be too much." Hanzo followed.

Jesse sighed, regretting everything. After a long moment of silent brooding, he finally opened his mouth to respond.

"I'll--I'll tell you." said Jesse. "But I wanna preface it with lettin' you know that it ain't something I wanna do with you."

"I understand."

Jesse mumbled something.

"What?" Hanzo asked.

Jesse mumbled again.

"I can't hear you." said Hanzo.

"Fine, fine." Jesse replied, regulating his blush. "I like to watch people, uh, piss."

Hanzo blinked.

"Really?" he asked with an air of genuine intrigue. "In private, or--"

"In...clothing."

Hanzo's eyes widened.

_"Really?"_

"I don't wanna talk about it. It ain't somethin' I wanna do with you."

Hanzo brought a hand to the back of his mouth in was the most transparent gesture of attempting to stifle a laugh that Jesse had ever seen.

"Just fucking laugh." Jesse said, unable to stop himself from cracking a smile.

Hanzo snorted and burst into an uncollected snicker. Jesse was aware that the gesture was inherently mocking, but he didn't mind too much, as laughter was far from the worst way Hanzo could have reacted.

"I'm sorry." said Hanzo as he caught his breath. "That is just, so fitting."

"Fittin'?

"For an American."

"Wait, what in the hell are you talking about?"

It took a moment for Hanzo to answer as a fresh round of laughter overtook him.

"Americans are obsessed with urine." Hanzo answered. "Well, impassionate. They structure their sentences around not having to directly word any bodely functions."

"We do?"

"Absolutely. I should have guessed that you'd have fixated on such a concept--"

Hanzo cut himself off with another little snicker.

"Oh, come on. It ain't that funny." Jesse replied.

"Well..."

At the very least, Jesse had managed to make Hanzo fully delighted, which was not an easy feat. However, Jesse had no intentions of not retaliating.

"Ok, I reckon you've gotten in your fair share a' laughs." said Jesse, the words slow. "Tell me yours."

"Tell you my what?"

"Weirdest kink."

Hanzo's laughter faded. He groaned loudly.

"I suppose it seems fair for me to tell you. But I do not want to." he replied.

"I mean, you don't gotta if it's gonna kill you. But you do kinda owe me."

"Although the thought is somewhat frightening, I will tell you if you truly want to know. However, I will warn you that my fantasies are even stranger than yours.”

Jesse couldn't help but get the feeling that some of the reservations he had towards sex might have affected how Hanzo's levels of comfort in expressing his own sexuality. Jesse felt a touch of guilt, along with the desire to make things right.

"I'd like to know." said Jesse. "At this point, I think I can handle you saying just about anything."

Hanzo shifted in Jesse's lap, getting comfortable. He kept his face turned away.

"Your phone is off, correct?" Hanzo asked.

"Course."

Hanzo said nothing for several long seconds. Jesse held his breath, his imagination running wild and anticipation scratching at his chest. However, Jesse kept his mouth shut.

"A dragon." Hanzo said.

Jesse stared. Hanzo stared back.

"Hwat?" Jesse asked.

"A dragon. The creature. One not unlike what lives within my bow."

Jesse blinked. He was pretty sure Hanzo was fucking with him but he had no interest in guessing wrong.

"Look, Hanz," Jesse started, "I'll believe you if you tell me that's true, but I just gotta ask. You pulling my leg?"

"No." Hanzo replied, dead serious.

"You wanna get...by a dragon?"

"On one of my many layers of consciousness, apparently, yes."

Jesse supposed he had heard stranger things. Mostly from Hana. Hanzo gave Jesse a little uncertain glance.

"Does that frighten you?" Hanzo asked.

"Not really. I would like a little more, uh, specificity, if you don't mind."

Hanzo let out a nervous little chuckle.

"Are you certain?"

"Yeah. Got me curious." Jesse answered, flashing an easy smile in the hopes that it would ease his thoughts.

Hanzo sighed. The sound was colored less by weariness and more with the collection of a series of thoughts.

"She takes me--the dragon," Hanzo started, "and then she--devours me."

"Devours?" Jesse asked, utterly confused.

"Consumes."

"Consumes?"

"Eats."

_"Eats?"_

"Please stop this."

Jesse felt fear start to grow in his chest. He did his best to ignore it.

"Keep going." he said.

"She eats me, but I'm still alive, and I can hear her speak. She tells me that she isn't here to love me, as did my mother to me when I was a child."

Jesse choked out a cough. Hanzo didn't say anymore words. He looked down at Jesse's chest, and Jesse could see a prick of uncertainty in his gaze. As quickly as he could, Jesse suppressed a strong wave of nausea as he processed the information.

"I would like to make it clear that I do not wish to physically--" Hanzo followed, voice a bit more frantic, "with my mother."

"I know." Jesse replied, silently relieved. "I know, sweetheart."

Jesse thought to himself. The truth was, Hanzo's words put Jesse on unfamiliar enough ground to scare the shit out of him. Jesse felt a sort of visceral disgust churn in his gut as he considered the picture Hanzo had painted. However, Jesse did his best to remove himself from his emotions as he thought to himself, wanting to be as fair as he could manage.

Considering the life he'd lead, Jesse had dealt with perverts before, people who he felt had a real special place in hell. However, when he thought about the situation rationally, he found that he fully trusted Hanzo wasn't one of them.

So without a word, Jesse placed one hand against Hanzo's raised shoulder and the other in Hanzo's hair, rubbing slowly. He opened his mouth, as Hanzo was obviously still waiting for some form of verbal validation.

"Look, I know you, I know you ain't sick." Jesse said.

Shifting, Hanzo turned his body so that they were facing each other, resting the back of his head in Jesse's lap. Looking up at Jesse's eyes, Hanzo raised an eyebrow in question.

"Why?" Hanzo asked.

"Well, it's like you said before. You're a grown man, you can compartmentalize. I reckon there ain't nothing wrong with thinkin' about getting a reverse Scott Tenorman, long as you stay in touch with reality."

"How are you so sure? How do you not know that by indulging myself on thoughts like these--thoughts that break both my personal senses of ethics and rationality, that I am not blurring the lines in my mind and risking my ability to see wrong from right?"

This time, Jesse raised an eyebrow and stared. He was confused as to why Hanzo would ask something like that, as it didn't really fit with everything else Jesse knew Hanzo to be afraid of. But when Hanzo stared back, Jesse lowered his eyebrow, having realized what was going on.

"Well, truth is," Jesse started, "I ain't a psychologist; I don't know for sure. But from what I've seen in my life, I don't think the mind is that fragile."

Hanzo nodded.

"What do you think?" Jesse asked. Hanzo twisted his mouth to the side.

"Emotionally, I am still ashamed." he answered. "Rationally, there is no urge that I could have that I would consider a flaw on my character, as I don't believe the inherent act of having any urge is immoral. I can only judge actions. As for the question I asked you, no, I don't believe indulging on immoral and absurd thoughts in a contained environment is harmful. Perhaps I will someday witness something that will change my mind, but I highly doubt it."

Jesse nodded. Hanzo fell silent. When Jesse took a glance at Hanzo's face, he found it peaceful. Jesse drank in a sense of accomplishment as he recounted their conversation, from the details of Hanzo's fantasy to--

"Hang on, I'll be back in a moment." Jesse said, carefully urging Hanzo out of his lap and getting to his feet as nonchalantly as he could manage. "Give me a minute."

"Hmm?"

"Gotta use the bathroom."

Hanzo nodded him off. Jesse made his way to the bathroom, closed the door, and vomited as quietly as he could manage.

After having silently and viciously brushed his teeth, Jesse make his way back to the couch, curling up into Hanzo's lap this time.

"You know...I've been meaning to say." Jesse started, once they were situated, "I've spent my whole life wondering what really makes a man a man, or a--homosapien, or whatever the hell you wanna call it, and...well, I thought I had a fairly complex idea, with shades of grey and all that. But, I gotta say, in the time I've known you, I've had to make a fair amount of readjustments, to say the least."

To Jesse's surprise, Hanzo's reaction was an immediate chuckle.

"What? What's so funny?" Jesse followed.

"Nothing. It it nothing. You have simply been able to word a similar thought that I've often had of you."

"...Well, how about that."

His face hidden, Jesse smiled to himself as the conversation lulled, just for a moment. Jesse did his best not to purr when Hanzo ran a strong hand through his hair, scratching behind his ear.

"Are you actually gonna go to the party tonight?" Jesse asked.

"I suppose I will."

"And stay?"

"Perhaps.

"If you do, you'll get to see me and your brother do something real stupid."

"That is not going to convince me."

They both fell silent again. Jesse let his eyes fall closed. As always, he felt a strong sense of peace in Hanzo's arms, and the overwhelming sensation that maybe everything was going to be alright. He knew he should start getting ready, but he supposed he could stand five more minutes.

 

~~~~

 

Three hours passed.

It took Jesse about fifteen minutes and three cocktails to get drunk. With Genji tight at his side, Jesse re-positioned the black fedora on his head as he watched people filter in, getting an eyeful of their stupid costumes as they did. When Hana arrived, she came right over to say hello.

Flipping up his Ray Bans for a better look, Jesse eyed Hana's attire in confusion. She was wearing her blue and pink combat uniform, but something was up with her hair. It looked different than usual, almost like plastic. Suddenly, Jesse realized it was a wig. And when he examined her headset a little closer, he noticed it was made with foam and cardboard.

"Who are you supposed to be?" Genji asked.

"I'm cosplaying as myself." Hana answered.

"...Why?" asked Jesse.

"Because I wanted to go as my biggest idol!"

Jesse gagged. So did Genji.

"Fine!" Hana said, stomping her foot. "Call me a narcissist. Who are you two supposed to be, anyway?"

"We're on a mission from gawd." Jesse answered.

"Really? I thought you were a white knight."

"What is that? Why do you keep callin' me that?"

Seeing Hana, Lucio rolled over for a visit. Upon his arrival, Hana burst into laughter when she saw what he was wearing.

"Whoa, love the costumes." Lucio said as he turned towards Jesse. "On a mission from god?"

"We're on a mission from gawd." Genji confirmed.

Jesse looked Lucio over as he tried to piece together was his costume was supposed to be. His hair was tied back, out of his face. On his legs, he wore white yachting shorts that cut off right above the knee, held up by a black belt. Tucked into his shorts was a white button down that reached to his elbows. On his wrist was a gold watch and on his feet where a pair of brown loafers. Curiously enough, he was wearing no socks, but seemed to have spray painted the skin of his ankles a lighter color to appear like he had an ankle sock tan line.

"I don't get it." Jesse said.

"You really don't know who I am?" Lucio replied, turning to face him.

"Not a clue."

Without speaking, Lucio smiled a faux camera smile and clasped his hands together, right at his navel.

"You know I had to do it to 'em." Lucio said.

"Do it to who?" asked Jesse.

Lucio sighed, his smile leaving him.

"Come on, man." Lucio replied.

Jesse was still a bit confused as Ana made her way over. Lucio and Hana started up a conversation while Ana observed Genji's attire with a smile.

"Again?" asked Ana when she saw their costumes. "You're giving me flashbacks to Blackwatch."

"Blue's Brothers is the only American movie Genji likes." Jesse explained.

"Untrue." Genji replied. "I also enjoyed Finding Nemo."

"Are you two going to sing Raw Hide again?" Ana asked.

"You gonna bribe us to again?" Jesse shot back.

"Absolutely."

Ana moved on. Jesse watched her grab a strong looking drink from the table.

"Speaking of money." Genji asked, clearing his throat. "How would you feel about paying me back for last week?"

"Uh, what happened last week?"

"You conned me out of twenty dollars."

"How?"

"You told me that you were going to make it disappear."

"Think I earned it, in that case."

Despite Jesse's reasoning, Genji still looked miffed. Jesse sighed. Thinking quickly, he took off his hat and held it outright, slipping in a five dollar bill from his pocket.

"Love your costume." Jesse said to Lena as she passed by. "Watched a ton of Speed Racer back in the day. That helmet looks damn near perfect."

"Thank you, Jesse." Lena replied with a glowing smile.

"Course. Would you care to chip in five dollars? Morrison's having a birthday party next month, and we wanna do something nice for him."

Jesse gave his hat a little shake.

"Don't see why not." Lena replied, tossing in some euros.

"Don't tell him." Jesse said, winking as she left. She waved over his shoulder.

Jesse repeated the algorithm twice more, on Mei and Torbjorn as they came past until he had about twenty dollars. Jesse handed Genji the money.

"What?" Jesse asked.

It was stupid, and a bit cliche, but Jesse's heart couldn't help but skip when Hanzo walked through the breakroom door.

Feeling the booze a little too much, Jesse let his gaze linger in both interest and confusion at Hanzo's high-collared black trench coat, grey-tinted body paint, bright red contact lenses, and well tailored, Victorian-style attire. Making eye contact with Jesse, Hanzo tilted forward into a tiny bow. Almost on cue, Genji sidestepped, giving them privacy. Hanzo pretended not to notice.

"Who're you supposed to be?" Jesse asked. He was still a little surprised that Hanzo had shown up.

"I'm a vampire." Hanzo answered, snarling so that Jesse could see the enlarged canines he'd glued on.

"Alright, but what's the catch?"

"Catch?"

Jesse blinked.

"Thought you were either just gonna wear your day clothes, or go as something real weird, like Copernicus or Spock."

"I like to be sexy." Hanzo explained.

"Yeah, I've noticed."

Hanzo gave Jesse an unreadable little glance. Jesse almost flinched when Fareeha, just entering, tossed a small bag Jesse’s way. Jesse just managed to catch it by the strings that tied the top closed.

“What’s this?” Jesse asked Fareeha as she walked by.

“They’ll add some color to the drink table.” she replied.

Curious, Jesse opened the sack to find a collection of uncracked walnuts.

“What is it?” asked Hanzo.

“Nuts.”

Jesse handed one to Hanzo. Hanno gave the thing a strange little look before giving an attempt to open it. He failed, his nails proving themselves too blunt.

“Here, let me.” Jesse said, taking the walnut. He crushed it easily in his metal hand and handed Hanzo the meat.

“Thank you.” Hanzo replied, the strangest expression on his face.

“No problem.”

Rolling his head from side to side, Hanzo relaxed his neck for a moment before stiffening back into his tense self.

“I should say something to the others.” he said.

“Reckon you might be right about that. Would you mind putting these by the wine?”

Jesse handed Hanzo the bag of nuts. He nodded before taking off. Jesse let his eyes linger on Hanzo as he neared in on the table, pouring himself something that looked strong and curiously enough, slipping a few more walnuts into his pocket after he’d laid out the bag. Jesse scooted back to Genji.

"You got my brother to come?" Genji asked.

"He wanted to." Jesse replied.

“I’m intrigued. He’s made it an entire nine minutes and fifty two seconds. A new record.”

”Where’d you pull that number outta?”

”Nowhere, actually. When my body was rebuilt, a few damaged parts of my prefrontal cortex were replaced and upgraded. I now possess an internal clock.”

“Oh. Huh.”

“However, everything else is still subpar.”

Jesse chuckled.

Over the next hour, Jesse had enough drinks to make the room to get a little warmer and for his perception of movement to lag a bit. It was drunker than he was intending to be, as his tolerance was significantly lower than it was when he was a more troubled man. At the very least, he cut himself off while he still had the sense and ability not to vomit on anyone important.

For a while, Jesse did his best to stay clear of Hanzo, as Hanzo wasn't big on being obvious in public. He stuck tight with Ana and Genji, at least until the Karaoke machine was brought out, as was tradition.

"Yes!" Reinhardt called as Mei dragged the machine about twenty feet away from the couch, creating a little stage.

Still next to Genji, Jesse watched with an almost parent-like pride when Hana and Lucio slapped hands and rushed to the stage. During their performance, Jesse was pretty sure than he wouldn't have thought it sounded nearly as impressive had he not been somewhat inebriated. Scanning his eyes around to make sure Angela wasn't looking, Jesse lit a cigarette.

 _"And it's ours for the taking, and it's ours for the fight,"_ Hana sang, tearing up. Reinhardt cheered and punched the air hard enough to send all paper decorations in a ten foot radius flying.

"Are you two going to go on next?" Ana asked Jesse. Jesse waved a hand in front of Genji's face to get his attention.

"You know the deal." Jesse replied.

Pulling a few dollars from her pocket, Ana waved them in front of Jesse's face. Jesse reached for the money only to have it yanked away.

"For when you're finished." said Ana.

Jesse watched in sadness as the bills disappeared back into Ana's pocket.

"You really care about the money?" Genji asked Jesse. "I'm just doing this for exposure."

Jesse was about to step onto stage when Morrison took a stand, squarely in front of him, his face set like he had a plan. Jesse's jaw opened in surprise as the cigarette was stolen from his mouth by Morrison.

"Hey!" Jesse called as Morrison walked away.

"Music?" Mei asked after Morrison had made his way to the front of the room.

"Don't need any." Morrison replied.

Everyone watched in confusion as Morrison took a seat at the stool next to the karaoke set up. With silent determination, Morrison took a long, slow drawl of Jesse's cigarette before opening his mouth.

"She packed my bags, last night, pre-flight." Morrison said, slow and methodical. "Zero hour--"

Morrison was cut off as the crowd began to remove cushions from the couch and toss them at him. One of them beaned him in the face.

"Boo." Ana shouted, giving a thumbs down.

"Dead meme." said Hana.

"Fine! Don't appreciate art!" Morrison huffed as he left the stage.

As soon as Morrison's feet hit the carpet, Jesse was pushed forward along with Genji to the stage. They both ignored the stool, favoring to stand upright. Ana pulled out a camera.

"What music do you want?" Mei asked.

"We're on a mission from gawd." Genji answered.

"Give us Raw Hide in A." Jesse said to Mei. "Should be under favorites."

Clearly at least a little tipsy, Ana started to clap before the music began and continued to cheer them on through the duration of the their performance. Jesse was not surprised at all, given that she'd done this every year they'd been able to have a Halloween party.

"Mom, stop." Fareeha begged, hiding her face.

"Move em' on." Jesse sang.

"Head em' up." Genji slurred in a butchered American accent.

"Head em' up."

"Move em' on."

"I don't know what's more remarkable." Jesse heard Ana say to Morrison. "A man from Japan pretending to be a man from Chicago pretending to be a man from the south, or a man who's actually from the south pretending to be a man from Chicago _pretending_ to be a man from the south."

"Cut 'em out!" Jesse continued.

"Ride em' in!" Genji slurred louder.

Everyone who'd been around since Blackwatch looked pleased enough, save for Morrison, who'd never liked when they did this in the first place. However, Jesse wasn't shaken in the slightest until he caught sight of Hanzo's expression.

Hanzo was staring straight at Jesse from his spot on the couch, resting the weight of his chin in his palm. His face was soft, endeared even, and when he noticed Jesse staring back, he flicked his eyebrows up in manner that sent a warm little wave through Jesse's chest. It was certainly a lot more than Jesse had expected, especially considering the fact that Hanzo was currently watching him do the dumbest thing ever.

Although he managed to exert most of his attention on his and Genji's stupid performance, Jesse didn't miss that Hanzo continued to stare. And when he and Genji wrapped up, he also didn't miss how Hanzo flicked his brows up again and tilted his head to the side in suggestion before leaving the couch and wandering into the less populated half of the room. Jesse felt a strong urge to follow him.

Everyone but Morrison clapped as the music cut off. Genji went straight for Ana.

"Come get your money, Jesse." Ana said, holding out the bills. "Before I forget."

"Oh, uh, give me a minute." Jesse replied, fully distracted.

Jesse found Hanzo on the far side of the breakroom, right between the closet door and the coat rack. Hanzo still had the same uncritical, almost wistful look on his face

"Something up?" Jesse asked.

Hanzo didn't answer, just flashed him a dark pair of hooded eyes before opening the closet door and pulling Jesse inside by the arm. Hanzo shut the door, blocking out all light save for a tiny strip coming in at the bottom. Jesse could barely see, and various hang jackets bumped Jesse in the sides and face.

"We've got to stop meeting like this." Jesse said.

Jesse didn't resist as Hanzo pulled their bodies flush together and encouraged Jesse to back him into the wall, which he did, letting them fall together in a manner that was drunkenly sloppy but measurably passionate.

With the alcohol rich in Jesse's system, he felt even warmer than usual when Hanzo's fingers knocked off his hat and tangled into his hair. However, he still thought Hanzo was a madman.

"Are you insane?" Jesse asked, wrapping his own hands around Hanzo's waist. Hanzo scoffed.

"You are so..." Hanzo started, only to trail off. Jesse gave him a little look.

Hanzo connected their mouths together. For a moment, Jesse considered resisting even a little bit when Hanzo gave a hot swipe of his tongue, but only for a half second.

The sharp edges of Hanzo's fake teeth bumped awkwardly into Jesse's lip, but it was far from a concern. Hanzo's mouth was soaked with the intoxicating flavors of both himself and hard alcohal. Jesse hummed, his blood warm as his drunken thought process stumbled through the euphoric reminder of their mutual affection.

Jesse gasped out a breath when Hanzo pulled away.

"I adore you." Hanzo muttered.

Jesse's mouth came only slightly undone as he lost all feeling in his knees, warmth exploding through his body. He gave an attempt to respond, but found he was unable to string two words together.

Hanzo snickered and put a finger under Jesse's chin, closing his mouth.

"You heard me." he followed before leaning back in.

Hanzo Shimada had a really soft mouth.

They both jumped apart when a loud knock sounded at the door. Shaking his head, Jesse forced himself to return to reality.

"Are you two done?" Genji asked. "I need my coat."

Jesse hastily wracked his brain for some sort of brilliant cover up. Pushing Hanzo carefully aside, Jesse readjusted his hat and opened the door to the closet, yanking in Genji by the arm.

"What is going on?" asked Genji as Jesse closed the door behind them.

If it had been crowded before, it was now a little more than cramped. Jesse's heels hit the wall behind him as clothes-hangers crashed into his head.

"Just wanted to show you something." Jesse replied, thanking the darkness for hiding his flush.

"What? What do you need to show me?"

Unable to think straight, Jesse ran a random excuse generator in his head and sent the results through a grammar filter, hoping that it came up with something good.

"We just thought this closet was real nice and wanted to share it with you." Jesse said. "That so wrong?"

Jesse jumped when the door to the closet opened again to reveal Ana. All three of them turned towards her as she stepped in without a word and closed the door behind her. Hanzo's elbow dug painfully into Jesse's side as he was pushed farther against the wall.

"I am extremely uncomfortable." Hanzo announced calmly.

"Ow." Genji replied, stepping on Jesse's toes.

"Ana, why'd you come in here?" asked Jesse.

"Everyone was doing it." Ana replied, shrugging.

Their antics were interrupted by a knock at the door, followed by Morrison's voice.

"Alright, everybody out." Morrison said. "This is an HR violation."

The door opened. All continuing to bicker, Ana, Genji, and Hanzo stepped out. Jesse tried to follow but was unable to, having apparently hit some sort of snag in the closet.

"Are you coming, Jesse?" Genji asked.

"Yeah, gimme a minute." Jesse answered, finding that the tension came from a scarf that had somehow gotten tangled in his belt.

"McCree, get out of the closet." Morrison snapped.

Jesse gave another attempt to leave, but was pulled back once again. Cursing as he fumbled with drunk fingers, he gave the scarf another go.

"Are you alright, Jesse?" asked Ana.

"I'm alright, I'm just stuck." Jesse replied.

"Well, get unstuck." Morrison said. "It'll be easier when you come out, son, trust me."

With a final tug, Jesse freed himself from the scarf and left the closet, sliding his sunglasses back down now that he was in the light. He stepped on Morrison's toes as he passed by.

When Jesse found his dignity, he returned to Ana. In the background, Reinhardt shouted into the mic, his voice significantly louder than the simple beat coming from the speakers.

 _"...that is how we do the dance...da da da da doot do do..._ " Reinhardt sang, having the time of his life.

"I've been told to cut you off." Ana said once Jesse returned to her, only stumbling a little bit.

"You doing ok?" Jesse asked Ana, wondering how she wasn't shaking her head in second-hand shame.

"Of course. Why wouldn't I be?" she replied.

"Well, ain't you two a thing?"

Jesse pointed at Reinhardt. Ana spit out a mouthful of her drink, the liquid soaking into her top.

"No." she lied. "Who said that? Did he say something?"

"Thought it was obvious."

Ana sighed. Closing her eyes, she rubbed her forehead.

"Fine." she replied. "Yes, we are."

"Any reason you're hiding it?"

"We don't want to fill out one of Jack's disclosures."

Jesse nodded, able to relate.

"He treats you alright, right?" asked Jesse.

"Of course. He treats me very well."

Jesse nodded again. Having known Rienhardt for so long, Jesse'd been pretty confident Ana would answer that way, but he'd felt he just needed to make sure. Jesse was silent for a few seconds until another question popped into his head, one more personal.

"Ana?" he asked. "I gotta question."

"What is it?"

"I'm only askin' cause I'm drunk, alright?"

"...Ok."

"Listen, Ana," Jesse started, throwing an arm around her, "I don't need to know the details, but uh, if you don't mind telling me, how do you two..."

Jesse made a circle with his thumb and pointer finger on his right hand and brought a metal finger from his left through it. Jesse didn't really consider asking a woman about her sex life to be particularly polite, but his curiosity got the better of him. To his relief, Ana laughed.

"Very carefully." she answered.

Jesse supposed that was the answer he was expecting. Given her unoffended reaction to the question, more began to form in his mind.

"Do you mind answering questions...like that?" Jesse asked.

"Did you have another question?"

"Uh, maybe."

"You can ask me anything, Jesse. I do not care."

Jesse nodded, trying not to flush as he thought of a good way to put his question into words.

"Do you, uh," he started, "ever do weird stuff?"

"Jesse, I'm in my sixties. Of course I do 'weird stuff'."

"W--what?"

"At a certain point in your life," Ana explained, "you stop caring about a lot of things. You stop worrying so much about how you come across to others, and you stop feeling ashamed of some of the things you enjoy."

"I mean, some--"

"Jesse, do you know where shame comes from?"

"Uh, my head--thingie?"

Ana chuckled.

"No." she replied. "If comes from the outside. When you feel shame, it's not because you've broken a rule of your own sense of right and wrong. That's guilt. When you feel shame, it's because you've done something that others don't like."

"Why are you telling me this?" Jesse asked.

Reaching forward with both her hands, Ana placed her fingers on either side of Jesse's jaw and turned his face down to meet her eyes.

"Because you have the mind of a philosopher and the instinctual sense of morality of a golden retriever. You deserve better than to feel there's something wrong with you." she answered.

Jesse frowned.

"Be careful with shame, Jesse." Ana followed. "We both know that simply because everyone around you believes something about the nature of reality does not make them right. Listen to your heart and your guilt, but be careful with shame."

Resisting the strange, sudden urge to burst into tears, Jesse shook his head.

"Hope you're right." he replied. "Glad to know you feel that way."

"Good. Now go have fun."

Ana was off. Jesse looked around. To his surprise, he found that Hanzo had managed to be social, engaged in an animated and apparently hilarious conversation with Reinhardt and his brother, no less. Jesse wandered over, wanting to catch a listen.

"What are ya'll talking about?" Jesse asked.

"We're making fun of each other's cultural backgrounds." Reinhardt explained.

"Sounds like a hoot." Jesse replied, turning on his heel to leave immediately.

"Wait, wait, don't leave." Genji begged. "Can we do you? Can we do America?"

"Uh--"

"Look at me. I'm an average North American man." Hanzo slurred in an over-pronounced attempt at a American accent. "I feel the need to blame a physical human being for every problem I or anyone has ever had, whether it's a divorce, a lay-off, or systemic oppression. I come to other people's countries and trip over the sidewalk and try to sue the street planners."

Reinhardt let out a booming laugh that sent little ripples in all their drinks while Genji fell over on the floor. Lena looked over from her conversation with Fareeha, disapprovingly so. Hanzo stared at Jesse with eyes full of expectation.

"Now do me." Hanzo followed, pointing at himself. "Do my culture."

Jesse stared uncertainly into Hanzo's expecting eyes. This wasn't the first time Hanzo had gotten drunk and asked this, and Jesse had done his best to change the subject every time.

"I don't wanna." Jesse replied, shifting his weight from toe to toe.

"Look at me. I'm average North American man. I think the best way to get rid of my chauvinist thoughts is never to voice them!" Reinhardt yelled. Everyone but Jesse laughed. Jesse wasn't particularly offended, he just felt it wasn't something he should laugh at.

"Why won't you mock my culture?" Hanzo asked, voice brimming with frustration. "I've mocked yours. If you do not reciprocate, this encounter will be unable to be classified as anything but bullying."

"Look, ever since I came to Overwatch, I've had to work hard to remind myself to respect other people's cultures. Specially people like..."

Jesse trailed off, stopping himself as he realized how insulting his reasoning could be perceived as. To his uneasiness, Genji's face lit up with realization.

"He doesn't wish to poke fun at Asian people. He thinks it's punching down." Genji slurred.

"Punching down?" asked Hanzo, forming the words as if they were nothing short of absurd. "How elitist."

"Uh..." Jesse replied, tugging at his collar.

"You do realize that the systemic racial oppression present in your particular country is not a direct mirror of the other ninety percent of the planet?" Hanzo said, tone of voice like it was when he was in the mood to make Jesse as uncomfortable as possible.

"It ain't just that!" Jesse said in a desperate attempt to defend himself. "I don't wanna reduce anybody down to my, uh, perception of their culture, um--"

"Which is why I asked you to satirize my culture, not reduce an individual person to a cultural stereotype. Stop stalling."

"I don't really feel I know enough about your culture to really...

"So insensitive." Genji replied, shaking his head in mock sadness.

"Fine! Fine." Jesse caved, purring his hands up. He racked his brain. "I...uh--I'm a Japanese--person who lives in country--"

"Imitate my accent." Hanzo cut in.

"Person who lives in a country," Jesse continued, staring Hanzo down as he refused to change his voice, "a country with, uh, economic problems because, um, the government keeps over-printing money in a, uh, perpetual attempt to pay off the private bankers and now we're in a giant debt bubble or...somethin'."

"What?" Hanzo asked, eyes wide and mouth twisted open. "Where did you hear that?"

"I heard that from you! You got drunk and told me that!" Jesse said, pointing at Hanzo. "He gets drunk on the weekends and complains about the Japanese government!"

"I did not know you were a conspiracy theorist, brother." said Genji.

"Oh, and I suppose you trust the central banks?" Hanzo replied, rubbing his temples. Jesse had a suspicion he'd said something he wasn't supposed to say.

Apparently at her last nerve with them all, Lena made her way over with a disappointed frown.

"Are you lads getting drunk and racist again?" Lena asked, making her way over with her hand on her hip.

"No." Hanzo answered. "We're not discussing ethnicity. We're discussing culture."

"Uh huh." Lena replied, unimpressed. "And what's your reasoning for that?"

"Ugh. I understand that culture and ethnicity are correlated, but I do not believe them to be directly causated. From my understanding of reality, culture is not an inherent force. The ways in which one culture differs from another are not caused by inherent mental differentiation between the collective members of those cultures, but rather the ecological circumstances that occurred or do occur when each respective culture developed or is developing, or so is reality as I understand it. It's ludicrous."

To Lena's credit, she did listen, although Hanzo had to repeat his words three times. Jesse, far gone as he was, was secretly grateful.

"That still makes you an elitist." Lena replied, once she understood.

"I've never denied this." Hanzo replied. Jesse chuckled.

"Why would you want him to make fun of you?" Lena asked, pointing at Jesse.

"I want to understand his perception. Perhaps he will even say something insightful."

"What if my culture values criticism?" Reinhardt asked, looking up in wonder at nothing. "What if we value giving and receiving cultural criticism as an honor, as it implies our allies took the time to analyze our practices and voice their thoughts on our behavior?"

"Ugh." Lena replied, rolling her eyes. "This isn't an ethics class. You're just culturally insensitive. I swear, everyone is so insensitive these days. Well, everyone but the English."

Jesse coughed, almost choking on his saliva.

"Did someone say ethics class?" Lucio asked, zooming over.

"Lena did." Jesse said.

"Awesome." Lucio replied, turning into the circle. "I got one. You see a runaway train car about to squish five workers on an train track. The good news is that you're right next to the lever that reroutes the train, but in in the rerouted track, there's one worker--

"I would pull the lever, saving a net of four lives." Hanzo interrupted. "Why do people keep asking me this?"

Things calmed down for a moment after that, with Jesse ending up on the couch next to Hanzo. It was a nice change, as Jesse had grown tired of standing. He hummed in affection when Hanzo scooted up next to him, much closer than he normally would have. Jesse considered giving some sort of resistance at the fear that Hanzo would regret being transparent tomorrow morning, but he was too lazy to go through with it.

Jesse was about to close his eyes when some sort of ruckus started, prompted by a newcomer entering the room, although everyone was so crowded around them that Jesse couldn't tell who.

"Zenyatta!" Genji greeted. "You came!"

"I had the day off." Zenyatta explained.

Zenyatta was promptly hit with a chorus of questions. It seemed that the Overwatch team members were all big fans of him. Jesse wasn't surprised.

"Man, it kinda smells like updog in here..." Lucio said loudly.

"You not gonna say hi?" Jesse asked Hanzo.

"I send him an email. I'm rarely perceived well by others while I am sober, so I thought it unwise to do so inebriated."

"Fair 'nuff."

Uninhibited, Hanzo fell into Jesse's shoulder, rubbing his head affectionately. For a moment, Jesse felt a sense of peace, at least until his senses warned him that something was off.

"Something wrong?" Jesse asked when he realized it was Hana and Reinhardt were both watching them intently.

"No." Reinhardt answered. "The manner in which you two interact simply pleases me."

"W--what?" asked Hanzo.

"Actually, I was thinking the same thing." Hana replied. "You look good together. Aesthetically."

"Um." said Jesse.

With a tiny hop, Ana stepped forward, joining their conversation camera first.

"Oh, you two are sweet." said Ana.

When Jesse looked over to see if Hanzo was doing alright with all the attention, he found that Hanzo's eyes were closed. Probably for the best.

"We ain't nothing." Jesse lied as Hanzo's head fell into his lap.

"I keep trying to figure out why they look so good together." Hana said, ignoring him. "I just can't put my finger on it."

"Maybe it's the cultural polarization." Ana replied. "Like complementary colors."

"I think it's just cause they're both hot."

"For me, it's because I possess a deep, internal fear that humankind will obliterate themselves over their petty political, cultural, and ideological differences." Reinhardt bellowed. "But when I look at the diversity between these two, it gives me hope to think that if they've managed to come to understand each other so well, everyone could."

"Perhaps the clashing backgrounds they've obviously come from could even aid their relationship, as they'll be able to constantly challenge each other's outlooks on life and both become better people in the process." Ana replied, rubbing her chin.

"No, it's just because they're both hot." Hana argued.

Halloween ended up winding down after that. Jesse continued his conversation with Hana as the booze wore off, checking on Hanzo every couple of minutes to make sure that he hadn't died. Angela did a round, handing out hangover pills. Wanting to wake him up so he could take one, Jesse gave Hanzo a little nudge. When Hanzo woke up, he yawned, his eyes fluttering open lazily.

"Do you have any powers?" Hana asked Hanzo as he took his pills.

"What?" Hanzo asked.

"You're a vampire. You need to have some sort of power, like mind reading or time travel."

"Time travel? I don't need to be a vampire to time travel, I can do that right here."

Hana blinked.

"Huh?" she asked.

Hiccuping loudly, Hanzo closed his eyes for a few beats.

"There." said Hanzo. "I have just traveled one second into the future."

Hana groaned loudly. Hanzo snickered, apparently unable to curb his laughter against his own bad joke. Jesse's heart melted.

Unable to help himself, Jesse pulled out his phone.

 **> To Genji**  
goddamn, I love your brother

 **> From Genji**  
I know.

Jesse looked back at Hanzo and decided, once and for all, that he didn't care what they called it.

They both knew what it was.

 

~~~~

 

Three nights later, Jesse woke up with a little yelp, soaked in cold sweat.

He felt something stir immediately. Hanzo. With an overwhelming wave of relief, Jesse realized he was safe in Hanzo's quarters.

"You're in Gibraltar." Hanzo mumbled into his pillow.

Although his mind was no longer twisting with unconscious terror, disturbing imagery from his dreams painted themselves on the backs of Jesse's eyelids. Everything he tried to forget. The thought of going back to sleep was more than a little intimidating.

"There's marijuana in the bathroom." said Hanzo.

"Think I'll take you up on that."

"Would you like me to go with you?"

"...Yeah."

Hanzo shifted next to him as Jesse slipped the ribbon from his wrists. Jesse left the bed, letting Hanzo have the blanket, which he draped around his shoulders like a cape as he sleepily followed Jesse to the bathroom. Jesse was eternally grateful. The idea of walking alone even for such a short distance seemed downright terrifying. Jesse kept Hanzo in his line of sight. When he got to the bathroom, Hanzo stood in the open door frame as Jesse used their medical marijuana in its intended purpose for once.

"Thank you." Jesse coughed, apologetically eyeing the bags under Hanzo's eyes.

Hanzo waved it off. Jesse didn't even have it in him anymore to be embarrassed. And all things considered, Jesse'd woken Hanzo up with much worse, from shouting to mild delusion. Hanzo always just went stoic and dealt with what needed to be dealt with without judgement. He seemed to have accepted that this was going to happen every month or two.

The walk back to bed was easier. Hanzo took Jesse by the hand. When they arrived back at Hanzo's sleeping mats, Jesse retied the ribbon around his wrists.

Jesse's head was pleasantly foggy as he returned to his spot under the covers. His heart swelled with appreciation when strong, protective arms wrapped around his chest, bumping under his chin. Jesse pressed a kiss against the muscle of Hanzo's arm, nearly overwhelmed by the new sense of safety he felt.

"Thank you." Jesse repeated.

Hanzo mumbled in response.

Jesse closed his eyes. It was much better than being alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had a very difficult time choosing what McCree's kink would be, as I wanted it to be strange enough for him to be ashamed but common enough that Hanzo's weird fantasy stayed weird by comparison. Here's a list of other kinks McCree almost had instead.
> 
> 1\. getting his hair cut (was rejected because of the haircut scene in Jesse McCree is a Dumb Stupid Idiot.  
> 2\. watching people eat honeycomb  
> 3\. furries (was cut because mccree wouldn't know what a fury was and besides, hanzo was already into vore)
> 
> The reason McCree and Genji sang Rawhide is a reference to the fact that the Blue's Brothers actually managed to become a cult classic in both the states and Japan.
> 
> The next chapter should be out soon. My stupid university is closed because of the snow so I have a lot of time


	13. Ito

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> currently unbetad whops

Another six months passed.

It had been over a year since they'd started their arrangement, and Jesse couldn't be happier.

It wasn't perfect. They bickered, about once a month. But it was less than Jesse usually got into spats with partners, although he supposed this might have something to do with the fact that they didn't live together. In any case, they managed their negative emotions well and were always able to make up quickly without resentment. Jesse was an adult. He'd been in long-term relationships before, and he knew how to make sacrifices for another person. When he forced himself to make a routine of it, he found he didn't mind keeping both his quarters and himself a little cleaner. He stayed conscious of all of Hanzo's strange phone paranoia, still finding it a bit ridiculous but swallowing his opinion because it made Hanzo comfortable and it really wasn't that hard to do.

He loved Hanzo very much.

The sex was amazing. Their relationship was one of the hornier that Jesse'd had, with both of them possessing seemingly high sex drives as well as a strong appetite for each other. Sometimes, sex was simple and snarky and conversational. Sometimes, when Hanzo was feeling brave, they fell into roles and adventured into BDSM, which proved itself to be especially fun when Hanzo taught Jesse about Kinbaku. Sometimes they tried new things. And very occasionally, Jesse let himself be the one dominated. He'd found it to be somewhat appealing, although he still liked it better the other way around.

As far as the nature of their relationship, Jesse had given up caring quite a bit. They didn't tell each other they loved each other. And they didn't tell other people about their arrangement, although everyone clearly knew, and they both pretended not to notice. Jesse could sort of justify it, if he tried. He knew that Japanese people didn't really say "I love you" to their partners or show affection in public. However, he knew in his heart that it was really because Hanzo wanted deniability, for a reason Jesse couldn't figure out but would continue to honor.

Jesse could live with that. He'd accepted that he was probably never going to get to hold Hanzo's hand or propose, even though he wanted it. It wasn't the end of the world. Because they were both happy and Hanzo seemed to have forgotten a long time ago about the time limit, which was the only thing Jesse was actually worried about.

He got to kiss Hanzo. That was what mattered.

Jesse shook his head, willing the thoughts from his mind as he exited his shower and slipped on the clean clothes he'd left out for himself, some jeans and a knock-off oxford shirt. After he'd dried his hair, he found Hanzo waiting for him in the kitchenette. His hair was down, touching the dark blue silk of his satin kimono that covered his shoulder blades. He was standing in front of the stove top, sauteing food for two.

Jesse grinned. Hanzo usually kicked Jesse out of his quarters before breakfast, so this was a nice surprise. Especially considering that Jesse was about to spend the next thirty hours cooped up with Lena in Numbani.

Hanzo hummed out a pleasant little noise when Jesse slotted his body behind Hanzo's. With interest, Jesse eyed Hanzo's layout of rice, cucumber, eggs, and some sort of spiny fish monstrosity that served as a reminder to Jesse that either god wasn't real, or just had a sick sense of humor.

"That thing is dead, right?" Jesse asked, pointing at the eldritch abomination of christ.

"Traditionally, no, but just as I do my enemies on the battlefield, I found myself filled with unpleasantries at the thought of causing unnecessary pain and took it upon myself to end its life as efficiently as possible."

"I think that's called 'compassion'."

Jesse grinned as Hanzo scoffed.

"You insult me." Hanzo replied.

"Mmhmm." Jesse sighed, dipping his head into the left side of Hanzo's neck to press a kiss.

Jesse sighed against as a tattooed hand snaked around his head and into his hair. He squeezed Hanzo once before letting their bodies fall apart.

"How long til it's ready?" Jesse asked.

"Perhaps another five minutes or so." Hanzo answered, poking at the fish in the pan in front of him. "I just need to-- _ah!"_

Hanzo pulled his finger away from the pan with a little yelp.

"You alright?" Jesse asked.

"Just a burn."

While Hanzo ran his finger under cold water from the faucet, Jesse reached under the sink to pull out Hanzo's tiny first aid kit. He handed one band-aid to Hanzo, who took it with a nod. Before Jesse put the kit away, he grabbed two more band-aids for himself, just in case his boots started to chafe him again. He slipped them into the pocket of his shirt.

"What you gonna do while I'm gone?" Jesse asked as Hanzo wrapped the band-aid around his burn.

"I have some combat training with Commander Amari to catch up on. And Zenyatta has invited me to a private meditation session tonight."

Jesse couldn't help but feel a kernel of warm pride burn in his chest. Hanzo had stayed true to his word; this was the second time this month that he'd made plans to visit with Zenyatta. Jesse wasn't sure what they did, but whatever it was, it seemed to be helping Hanzo's relationship with Genji quite a bit.

"Sounds good." he replied. "How's it going with him? If you don't mind me askin'."

"It goes well. Although I am still extremely cautious towards enabling the next technological singularity, I've found, delightfully enough, that he is as well. I will work to grant him as much political power as I can."

"Christ. Highest praise I've ever heard you give."

"I suppose so. He has given me a smidgen of hope towards the future of my species. That is more than I can say for most."

"Well, ain't you exclusive."

Hanzo whirled around to give Jesse a look that was somewhere between condescending and mischievous. Jesse stood still as Hanzo took a step towards him.

"Do you know what I like best about Zenyatta?" Hanzo asked, bringing his hands up to straighten Jesse's collar.

"What?" Jesse asked, morphing his features to Hanzo's expression.

"Zenyatta," Hanzo started, enunciating the name, "has managed to do what I once thought was impossible: prove to me that a man can be pathetically sentimental without being a fool."

"How about that." Jesse replied, ears a bit pink.

"And despite the chaos he seems to advocate for that I find strongly misguided, he possesses a certain--ideological consistency that I find--somewhat irresistible."

Jesse had always prided himself in his ability to keep his cool and smooth out any situation. However, Hanzo had a way of putting him at a total loss.

"You know," Hanzo continued, his gaze darkening, "although I've always found them to be conceptually frightening, something I can't help but notice about anarchists is their impressive rates of ideological consistency."

"I, uh, prefer 'liberitarian'."

"Go sit down."

With that, Hanzo left him with a suggestive little glance in favor of grabbing two plates for their food. Jesse left the kitchenette and sat down at the table. A minute later, Hanzo joined him with two plates of everything he'd cooked. He placed one in front of Jesse before sitting down to his opposite.

"I don't wanna." Jesse said, poking the abomination with his fork. He was pretty sure at that point it was some sort of fish, but it clearly wasn't one that came from a level of sea that man had been meant to explore.

"You don't have to." Hanzo replied, taking a bite of rice. "However, I will make a point of acting horendiously insulted if you refrain."

Jesse tried to pick at the fish, but quickly found he didn't have much of appetite with it on his plate. Feeling Hanzo's eyes on him, he sighed and carved off a slice of the fish with his fork. It was a strange consistency, firm but gooey.

"Can I eat this part?" Jesse asked, raising his fork so Hanzo could see.

"Yes."

Jesse took a deep breath as he stared at the contents of his fork, and then another as he brought it to his mouth.

It tasted like death.

Jesse swallowed with a wince. If the taste had been bad, the texture was atrocious; somehow both slimey and rough all at the same time. Hanzo chuckled.

"Why do you do this to me." Jesse asked, face slightly green.

"Because I hate you."

To Jesse's infinite relief, Hanzo reached across the table to scrape the remainder of Jesse's fish onto his own plate. Jesse's plate was returned to him with normal food, which he finished in solace.

After breakfast, Hanzo crashed on his couch with a few unfinished mission reports. Jesse wandered into Hanzo's room, in search of his gear, most of which he left near the door when found. When he was done, he made his way back to the couch to say his goodbyes.

"I take it you must leave?" Hanzo asked.

"Don't wanna, but I gotta." Jesse replied, taking a stand a few feet away from Hanzo.

"You are returning tomorrow night, correct?"

"Yeah. I'll knock."

"I look forward to your return."

Hanzo's face was still turned towards the papers in his lap. A chunk of black hair fluttered into his eyes. Jesse found himself filled with sentiment.

"I'll miss you." Jesse said.

Hanzo let out a happy little scoff.

"You will see me soon enough." he replied, moving his paperwork to the end table.

Jesse quickly checked the time. He had about fifteen minutes until he needed to leave. Unfortunately, Hanzo's content little smirk and the shape of his upper body underneath his clothing sent a very ill-timed urge through Jesse. The night before, they'd both been too exhausted to do much of anything, and Jesse found himself wondering if a quarter of an hour was enough for something fun to happen. Letting a slow, flirtatious smile form on his face, Jesse took a sideways seat in Hanzo's lap, twisting his upper body so they were facing each other.

Hanzo's eyes drifted away from his mission reports on the end table of his couch. He raised an eyebrow.

"Is there something I can do for you?" Hanzo asked.

"Reckon there might be." Jesse replied, tone low and dripping with as much butter as he could get away with.

A quick flash of interest shot through Hanzo's eyes, his brow raising and pupils expanding. However, he shook his head.

"We do not have the time." Hanzo explained.

"I don't need much."

Strong hands came to squeeze around Jesse's waist, but Hanzo still shook his head no.

"I suspect you will need more than a quarter of an hour."

"You sure about that?" Jesse asked with the more mischievous half of a smile on his face.

"You are a deviant."

"Hey, let me turn the other cheek."

To punctuate his comment, Jesse flexed his thighs and raised himself slightly, maneuvering his own butt an inch into the air for a quick second before coming back down into Hanzo's lap. Quickly proceeding, Jesse flicked his brows upwards in a clear message of _"there's more where that came from"_.

Jesse grinned as Hanzo's lap became just a tiny bit harder of a surface to sit on.

"I was not aware it was your turn." Hanzo replied.

"Gimme an advance on it."

"Hmm."

"How about you just sit right here, and I'll take care of the rest?"

Hanzo's face set itself with thought for a moment, but he still ultimately waved it away, urging Jesse out of his lap.

"I severely doubt that you have the time to prepare yourself." Hanzo explained, voice undercut with a note of dismay. "You will have to wait until tomorrow."

Jesse supposed Hanzo had a point, but he groaned in protest nonetheless as he exited Hanzo's lap. However, before he managed to get too disappointed, Jesse's brain cooked up a quick plan.

"I am going to make tea." Hanzo followed, getting to his feet.

"Suit yourself." Jesse replied as he took a seat at the couch, positioning his body where Hanzo's had been a moment ago.

"Would you like any?"

Jesse didn't reply, opting instead to let his eyes flutter closed and sing out a long, dreamy sigh.

"Huh?" Hanzo asked.

"Christ." Jesse groaned, squeezing his eyes further shut. With the utmost care, he began to run his hands up and down his thighs, letting his knees fall a few inches apart.

"What are you doing?"

Jesse opened his eyes, searching for Hanzo's face. When he found it, he let his mouth fall open, ever so slightly as their gazes locked together.

" _Fuck_ , you feel good." Jesse sighed in wonder as he began to flex his stomach and move his hips in just the right way to make it look like he was getting railed. Still standing but a few feet from him, Hanzo's cheeks dusted with pink and realization.

"Why are you doing this?" asked Hanzo, voice dry.

Breath hitching to the rhythm Hanzo liked to fuck him to, Jesse searched within himself to recreate the sounds he tended to make when he was both bottoming and reaching the top of his peak. It was a bit difficult to capture the nuances, but Jesse thought he did an alright job, adding heavy breath into his tone and tiny, high-pitched cries.

"What are you possibly going to gain?" Hanzo followed.

Jesse broke his composure for just a moment to give Hanzo a wink, and then a chuckle when he noticed both the sheepish expression on his face and the way he shifted his hands awkwardly to cover the front of his crotch. Jesse was grateful when his own cock started to swell in response, noticeably so against the fabric of his jeans, adding to his show.

"You fuck me so good-- _uh_ \--god _damn._ " Jesse moaned.

Hanzo stared, cheeks still pink and expression still soaked in surprise. Jesse almost have started laughing. However he resisted the urge, instead bringing his hands up to swiftly undo the top three buttons of his shirt, exposing a flash of his chest.

"You are a--" Hanzo started, "uh."

Still staring Hanzo down with theatrically desperate eyes, Jesse grit his teeth and brought his hands to hand lazily over the back of the couch, arching his back with a tiny cry.

"Uh." Hanzo repeated.

Jesse tensed his face and let his lower body start to tremble. It was a bit hard to recreate, but he found that by tensing his legs passed the point of comfort, it was more than possible.

"I'm gonna--I'm gonna-- _ah_ , hah." he called.

Jesse's eyes were closed as he let out the final few cries and obscenities of his "orgasm", but he could feel Hanzo's piercing gaze on his body nonetheless, which was more than a little thrilling. After he'd finished, he slumped back into a seating position and burst into a deep chuckle at Hanzo's pink face and the fact that his hands could no longer cover the damage under the lap of his kimono. When Hanzo noticed Jesse looking, he darted his eyes away.

"Why would you do this?" Hanzo asked quietly.

Still smiling, Jesse shrugged. Repositioning himself in his pants, he left the couch and began to make his way to the front door where he'd left his gear. However, Hanzo quickly stopped him with a sudden, tight embrace.

"Are you certain you don't have a few minutes?" asked Hanzo, shoving his face into the crook of Jesse's neck.

"Tables sure have turned, ain't they?" Jesse replied happily.

Hanzo groaned, his hard-on digging into Jesse's upper thighs.

"Just gonna have to wait till tomorrow night." Jesse followed.

"You are a heathen." Hanzo replied, digging both his hands into the meat of Jesse's ass.

Carefully, Jesse pried his body away from Hanzo, who made a tiny noise of protest but didn't resist. Hanzo watched quietly as Jesse pulled on his boots and chest plate.

"See you soon." Jesse said, reaching for the doorknob.

He grinned when Hanzo intercepted him once again, pulling him by the collar into a hungry kiss. Hanzo's lips parted immediately, pulling Jesse in with a flicker of his tongue. Jesse hummed as he worked his mouth against Hanzo, bubbling with contentment. However, he quickly pulled away, knowing he was running low on time.

"You'll see me soon." Jesse promised. "Now, please. You're making a samurai fool of yourself."

Hanzo pouted in a manner that was as touchingly pathetic as a kicked puppy as Jesse put on his hat. Reaching forward to touch Hanzo's shoulder, Jesse pressed a kiss to Hanzo's face.

"Be safe." said Hanzo as Jesse turned towards the door.

"Of course."

Running late, Jesse jogged to the drop ship with a smile on his face. When he arrived two minutes past the agreed upon time, Morrison initially started to publicly chew him out but gave up quickly when he realized it wasn't managing to dampen Jesse's good mood. Grumbling, Morrison waved his hand away and everyone got on the ship.

Life was nice.

 

~~~~

 

Thirty hours later, Jesse knocked on Hanzo's door with a single pink Tsubaki flower he'd picked in the Bastion's garden. When Hanzo answered the door, Jesse smiled bright.

"For you." Jesse said, reaching out with the flower.

Hanzo took it with open hands, but something was wrong. Jesse had given Hanzo flowers before, and was usually met with a snarky comment about frivolity or taste. However, this time, Hanzo simply cupped the flower and deepened his frown.

Jesse felt the smile fall off his own face.

"Something up?" he asked.

Hanzo blinked at Jesse with empty eyes.

"I think you should come inside." said Hanzo.

The first instincts of worry started to prick under Jesse's skin, but they were manageable for the time being. He followed Hanzo inside, where they both took a seat on the floor at Hanzo's kotatsu. Jesse sat opposite to Hanzo, wanting the best view of his face.

Hanzo's face was twisted in the same frown he'd greeted Jesse with. Hanzo's resting face was a frown, but this time was different. More real. Jesse watched as Hanzo placed the flower on the table in front of him.

"What are we doing, McCree?" Hanzo sighed, his eyes on Jesse's face.

Hanzo only called Jesse by his surname when they were in public or he was pissed off. They weren't in public, and Hanzo didn't look particularly angry, so Jesse figured they were in new territory.

"What are we doing with what?" asked Jesse.

"You know what."

Jesse had a suspicion. It wasn't a good one.

"Tell me." he ordered

"What are we doing with each other?"

Jesse felt a sharp pang of dread ring out through his stomach as his suspicions were confirmed.

"I don't know." Jesse answered, praying to god that this conversation was going to somehow have a happy ending.

Hanzo looked down at the surface of the kotatsu in front of him with a grimace. Jesse's heart pounded so hard it was almost painful, almost like it was going to break through his ribs and out his chest.

"We have long since crossed the line of the casual agreement we once made." Hanzo said. "Do you agree with this?"

"Can't really deny that, no." Jesse replied, voice quiet.

"And were you aware throughout the duration of our...time together that we had crossed this line?"

"Suppose I was."

"Then why did you refrain from saying something?"

"You didn't say nothing, neither."

Hanzo groaned and shut his eyes. Panicked as he was, Jesse managed to have the passing wonder as to what had initiated this. He couldn't think of anything that had happened between them recently that was anywhere out of the ordinary. Everything had been perfect.

"Are you in love with me?" Hanzo asked.

Jesse pulled at a loose string of thread from his shirt. It broke off with a little snap.

"...Yeah." he replied.

It was strange. Jesse doubted that this was going to end anywhere close to well, but all things considered, telling Hanzo the truth felt like stretching his toes after taking off a tight pair of shoes, a pair that he'd been wearing for over a year.

However, any pleasure he gleaned was superseded by the look on Hanzo's face.

"How long?" Hanzo pressed.

Jesse tied the thread into a little knot.

"Since the start."

Hanzo's eyes closed with a groan. Jesse looked up from his string just long enough to see the disappointment and regret that was painting itself on Hanzo's face.

"Why would you enter into such an agreement, Jesse?"

Maybe Jesse was just dreaming. He bit the inside of his cheek, checking for pain. It hurt.

"Wanted you." he answered.

Gritting his teeth, Hanzo turned away, taking his face out of Jesse's line of sight.

"You lied to me." Hanzo accused, the sneer on his face clearly audible.

Jesse tied another knot in the thread, about a half an inch from the first knot.

"I'm sorry." Jesse said, and he meant it.

"How could you do this?"

"I'm sorry."

Hanzo sighed, long and low. Jesse bit the inside of his lower lip, furthering his frown as his nightmare continued.

"You do understand why we cannot continue, correct?" asked Hanzo.

Up until that moment, Jesse was internally filled with slowly growing panic, dread, and mortification, quickly overtaking any denial. However, he felt a spark of something new. Something telling him to stand up to this as he thought of every little moment over the past year when Hanzo'd kissed him when he wasn't supposed to or snuggled up to him and smiled at him when they were alone. He supposed it was a big risk to take, but Jesse had never been one to back down from big stakes.

"What if we did?" Jesse asked, the words slow.

"What?"

"What if we just, kept doing what we were doing? ‘Cept, you'd be my sweetheart."

Hanzo's shoulders stiffened. It was a bad sign, but Jesse wasn't ready to give up just yet.

"And why would I do that?" asked Hanzo.

"Reckon you seem to like doing this."

"You think I want this."

"I think you love me."

Jesse couldn't hear anything, but even from his view of the back of Hanzo's head, he could see Hanzo wipe his face.

"Perhaps you should leave." Hanzo said.

"I will walk out that door and never so much as look at you again if you just do one thing for me."

"And what would that be?"

"Tell me you don't want it. With me."

Jesse watched as Hanzo, kneeling away from him, brought both hands to cover the face already out of view.

"I do not want you." Hanzo said.

Hanzo's voice was muffled by his hands, but what he'd said had been clear.

"Alright." Jesse said as he got to his feet. He might have said more, had he thought of anything to say and had the feeling in his throat to form words.

Jesse left Hanzo's quarters quickly without another word.

 

~~~~

 

The walk back to his quarters felt much longer than it should have, even without all the detours he took to avoid having to run into anyone else. When he arrived at his room, he went straight for his bed, climbing under the covers without even taking his clothes off. It was where Jesse stayed for the next several hours, missing a meeting about who was stealing paper cups from the water cooler. Finally, he mustered up the energy to send a text to Genji requesting all the alcohol be removed from his quarters. To Jesse's numb appreciation, Genji worked quickly and didn't ask questions, leaving once he was done per Jesse's request.

Jesse's heart felt like stone. He still couldn't believe it. That Hanzo was gone. He couldn't even bring himself to cry, as the situation simply felt too fake. Around midnight, he finally willed himself to sleep, suppressing the petty hope that he'd have received some sort of message from Hanzo by the morning that everything had been some sort of sick joke.

He got nothing, waking up only to the memory of what had happened.

The second day was a little better, only because of a short recon assignment he went on with Fareeha and Lucio that managed to distract him a little.

He did his best not to be snappish.

The days passed by. As far as Hanzo went, he and Jesse quickly developed a silent agreement to never be in the same room. Jesse only saw Hanzo once during the week, just a glance when they were passing through the halls. Jesse only got a half second glace, but it was long enough to learn that Hanzo had apparently shaved the sides of his head and gotten several new piercings. Jesse did his best not to think about it.

From the quick, infuriatingly pitying looks he got, Jesse was sure the rest of the team had picked up the fact that something was off between him and Hanzo, but they at least refrained from asking questions. Jesse managed to show up to work every day, but he did his best to avoid his team members, especially when they were in groups.

He was glad he wasn't sent on missions with Hanzo anymore.

The hardest part was his new abundance of free time, now that his closest friendship was cancelled. As busy as he tried to keep himself with undercover missions and training, he still ended up with several empty hours every day where he had nothing to do but think about Hanzo until it felt like there was a knife stuck in his throat. Desperate for a distraction, Jesse developed a fixation on horror movies and literature, which was a bit unusual for him. Most of the time, Jesse hated horror, as how terribly he felt for the victims in the narrative quickly became too much to bear, not to mention that the job he held provided enough bloody questions for a lifetime. However, he found the rush did well to distract him from his thoughts. After growing tired of the American horror he'd already known and seen, he moved on to Japanese horror. He wasn't sure if it was because of a faint association with Hanzo or just the Lovecraftian kick, but he made his way through enough of Junji Ito and Gou Tanabe's works to develop a fear of the dark, butchering his sleep schedule. Luckily, Winston started to send him on night missions.

Jesse tried to be angry with Hanzo, but he just couldn't bring himself to blame him for more than a few hours. Hanzo had made the choice that he'd thought was best for himself, and Jesse did his best to try and accept that. However, he still couldn't help but feel frustrated and confused, as he couldn't even begin to imagine what had caused Hanzo to suddenly stop loving him.

Perhaps Hanzo was telling the truth that he'd never loved him in the first place. Jesse supposed that was an easier notion to swallow. 

Eventually, Jesse forced himself to spend time with another person. Usually, Genji was his go to, but Jesse found he couldn't manage to be around him due to how much he looked like Hanzo. Jesse eventually settled in for letting Ana come over once a day, and helping Echo with an engineering project. Although they did their best to hide it, they were both clearly concerned about him, offering him empty conversation in an attempt to get his mind off things. Although Jesse was appreciative of their attempts, he wished they wouldn't.

Jesse didn't like to cry. It made him feel weak and pathetic and selfish, nearing on loathsome. For the most part, he at least managed to not do it in front of anyone else, having no intentions of forcing others to deal with his grief no matter how much they claimed they didn't mind and said that he was holding himself to way too high of a standard. He did, however, eventually break from loneliness and cry in Ana's lap once, an act that he spent the rest of the day deeply ashamed of.

He knew he'd eventually be alright. Still, the present wasn't too kind. Eventually, he found himself developing a strange, sudden homesickness. He missed horses, he missed the sun. He missed people who looked and spoke like he did. He know he couldn't exactly go back to his old house, but he supposed a visit to the Rocky Mountains might cut it.

"It's just a week." he told Morrison. "I get a week off base. It's in my contract."

"You can have next week off. This week, you're going to Venezuela."

Jesse grit his teeth in extensive irritation as he considered telling Morrison to shove it. He was just about ready to lose his temper, and this seemed about as good a time as any to do so.

"Why wasn't I told 'bout this earlier?" Jesse asked.

"Because we didn't know you were going until today. Song and the Shimadas just called for backup."

Jesse felt several emotions, all at once. Fear won.

"They alright?" he asked.

"I think so. They just seemed to think it's more than a three person job."

Jesse breathed a tiny sigh of relief.

"Still." Jesse continued. "Thought I wasn't supposed to be working with Shimada."

"Ideally, yes." Morrison replied. "But we need two people and you and Oxton are the only agents free right now trained in the required combat skill sets."

Jesse rubbed his temples. Going on a surprise mission, especially one where he was forced to see Hanzo seemed far from ideal. However, if there was no one else to help, he didn't think he could live with himself if he refused.

"When do we leave?" asked Jesse in a defeated grumble.

"Sixteen hundred hours. Meet Lena and me in the breakroom. In the meantime, get out of my office."

Jesse got out of Morrison's office. He just hoped he'd be able to keep it together in Venezuela.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> next chapter is pretty long. Give me two weeks


	14. Lehmann

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **CONTENT WARNING:** This chapter contains material (such as violence, interrogation, and related concepts) that may be upsetting for some people. I don't want to list the warnings here, as most of them are spoilers, so I've decided to put them in end chapter notes. If you're sensitive to something and want to know more about the contents of this chapter, click the "more notes at the end" button to read them and decide if this chapter is alright for you.

Olivia Colomar rarely fought in the wars she started.

She rarely fought at all, at least not in the traditional sense. The only reason she'd been able to survive so long was because of how skilled she was as getting an in, keeping an out, and dealing with her target in a way that kept her at the lowest risk possible. Her style was clean and simple, a take out with the least amount of conflict possible.

When compared to the astronomical amount of fighting she'd caused second hand through extortion and manipulation, mostly between two parties completely unrelated to herself, what she'd done with her own gun was impossibly small.

Some might call it unforgivably hypocritical, although Olivia didn't feel particularly guilty about it.

"Are you getting anything, Sombra?" Reyes asked.

Olivia eyed the purple screen before her, but found no numbers to pass on.

"Not yet." she replied. "Be patient."

Reyes growled and turned back towards the man strapped in his educated wicker chair.

Hanzo Shimada. Olivia had only ever seen him once before, although he hadn't had an undercut and a nose piercing at the time. She knew only that he was ex-Yakuza, ex-mercenary, and current Overwatch agent. Although, if Olivia could predict the end of this session, there wasn't going to be an Overwatch for much longer.

To be honest, she didn't really care either way.

Shimada wasn't the only Overwatch agent in the room. Six feet away, another man sobbed on his knees. Jesse McCree. Ex-Deadlock, ex-Blackwatch, ex-mercenary, and current Overwatch employee. Talon had incapacitated and captured the two of them with a fake bomb threat, shuttled them a few countries over and dragging them down into Reyes' favorite underground base. The other three Overwatch agents; a small woman, the infamous sparrow, and an idiot, had all gotten away. But these two hadn't been so lucky.

Reyes had been overjoyed to see McCree again, especially when it came to the tying up part. Olivia didn't know much about their relationship, just that they'd worked together. She couldn't remember the last time she saw Reyes express something that resembled a positive emotion besides blood lust, so it was an interesting change of pace.

From the ground, Moira removed the right hand that Reyes had cut clean from Shimada's arm at the wrist. She slipped it in the pocket of her lab coat, and Olivia didn't question what she was planning on doing with it. Crudely, Reyes pressed a towel against the wound to stop the bleeding.. On the ground, McCree grit his teeth. It was a bit hard to see, as the lights were off. The only thing that let Olivia see was from the burning embers of the fireplace against the left wall.

To say it was an interrogation of Shimada would have been a joke. Shimada clearly was not going to give up any information from physical torture, he was somehow able to disassociate from it. Who they were really trying to crack down on was McCree. After reading months of McCree's text messages with Shimada's younger brother, it became obvious that he was in love with him.

Hence, their current predicament.

"Please." McCree begged again, nearing on the hundredth time. "Please stop."

McCree's voice was tired and spent. His face was coated in the grey dust of old sweat and grit. Olivia paid him no attention.

“If you tell us, we’ll let him go. It's that simple.” Reyes offered.

Olivia took a look around. In the black, square-ish chamber that was once their meeting room, she sat a few feet behind and to the right of Shimada, with his face turned out of view. On the other side of Shimada, Moira stood.

“Your intimidation practices are unfathomably out of date.” Shimada said, voice calm for someone who had just lost a hand. “Ethics aside, torture has been proven to be ineffective on the grounds that the information you receive is very likely to be wrong, simply from how panicked--“

Shimada was cut off as Reyes put a thick hand over his windpipe. He jabbed the long, wicked stiletto blade in his hand closer to Shimada's face.

“What is it gonna be, kid?” Reyes asked, turning his head towards McCree. "Do you plan on giving us the coordinates, or do I have to cut him apart?"

“Fuck you!” McCree spat, blood and saliva and tears coming out with his words.

“You got ten seconds before he loses an eye. Ten…nine…”

McCree grit his teeth and hissed with pain.

“…three…”

“Fine! Fine.” McCree caved. "Zero-six, zero-six, five-nine. Please, let him go."

“He’s lying.” Olivia said to Reyes.

“I ain’t—“

“He thought the words ‘ _pre-agreed fake coordinates_ ’. And this one thought the word ‘ _Nisemono_ ’. Fake.” Olivia continued, pointing respectively.

“W-what?” McCree asked. “What are you on about?”

“Your communicator? Crunchy toast.” Olivia answered, tapping the back of her neck. “Send Jack my thanks, I’ve never been able to hack into someone’s brain before.”

“What’s he thinking now?” Reyes asked.

“Uh,” she replied, squinting at her screen, “‘ _goddamn it, Hanzo was right. Hanzo was fucking right’.”_

Reyes took his knife off of Hanzo's head for just a moment to grab a long metal pole from the fireplace, the hot end flat and glowing bright red. When cold, live terror flashed across McCree's face, Olivia looked back towards her screen.

“Cauterize him.” Reyes said, holding out the stick for Moira.

“I believe that is your job.” Moira replied, making a face as she stepped away.

“Fine.”

Shimada had been perfectly, almost horrifically silent when they’d beat him, and still when they took his hand, but even he called out in a long, piercing scream of pain as Reyes stripped the end of his forearm from the towel and pressed the hot metal to the wound. McCree turned his head down, convulsing as he began to vomit.

Moira winced.

“Tell us the coordinates.” Reyes growled.

 _“Ngh._ ” Jesse replied.

“Can we just get them from their thoughts?” Moira asked Olivia.

“It can only show me words. I can’t get him to only think in words unless he’s talking.” she answered.

“Can’t you ‘hack it’, as you say? And increase the data you can glean?”

“Amiga, you can’t hack a T85 calculator to run Windows Vista. But should make an excellent lie detector, if you can get them to speak.”

In between bouts of retching, McCree voiced more empty pleas, begging for some kind of arrangement.

Olivia had never particularly liked witnessing interrogation on this level, but she found this one particularly messy. Over the past year, Olivia felt that Reyes had been getting less responsible and more impulsive. She didn't find Gabriel Reyes particularly frightening, she still found him disturbing, and increasingly so. Although she believed that everyone should always act selfishly and only out for themselves and their own enjoyment, she questioned that the only thing Reyes seemed to enjoy was torture.

“I told you. Give me the goddamn coordinates.” Reyes ordered. "What's he thinking, Sombra?"

"... _But now when Northern treachery attempts our rights to mar._ " Olivia answered. " _We hoist on high the Bonnie Blue Flag that bears a single star. Hurrah, hurrah, for Southern rights, hurrah_..."

“Dope him.” Reyes ordered.

Moira stepped forward with a needle. With a hand on McCree’s shoulder, she inserted a long needle of purple-tinted fluid into his arm. Almost immediately, McCree fell onto his side, unable to support himself. Even from a dozen feet away, Olivia could see the huge blacks of his pupils.

“This is what happens when you lie, kid.” Reyes said, removing the strip of metal from Shimada’s arm. Hanzo stopped screeching, but his breath started to pour out in pained little pants.

Olivia continued to watch her monitor carefully. All McCree had to do was think the right numbers. He'd managed to put it off this far by thinking strings of words, mostly old song lyrics.

In a wave of desperation, McCree tipped his head back as far as he could and squeezed, turning off his hacked communicator with the back of his neck. Reyes just chuckled dark and forced his neck back up, turning it back on with his finger.

“Is he thinking any words, Sombra?” Moira asked. Olivia read McCree's thought from the screen, the words distantly familiar. They were words from an old, common verse, one of Matthew's.

“He’s…”

“What?”

“He’s--praying. To god.”

“Are you alright?"

"Fine. Why?"

Olivia's pulse quickened as Shimada twisted his head to the side, gazing over his right shoulder until his eyes met hers.

" _Chickenhawk_." Shimada coughed.

“Line shot.” Reyes ordered Moira, handing her his knife. He took a few steps towards McCree.

Moira took it, turning it towards Shimada's face. Shimada cried out again, higher in pitch this time.

Olivia hadn't been paying that much attention to Shimada's thoughts, as they were just an occasional word of Japanese. He didn't seem to be thinking in words. When Olivia checked them again, they were blank as he screamed.

“Let me tell you how this is going to go down if you don’t give me the coordinates.” Reyes said, giving McCree a kick. “He’s gonna be lucky, because he’s gonna get to die. And I will make you watch—“

“We’re going to get the coordinates, McCree.” Moira cut in, “It really would be easier for all of us if you just gave them now.”

Olivia continued to read as McCree moved on from the lyrics of Kill that Yankee Soldier to the short mantra of _“Don’t think about it, don’t think about it, don’t think about it…”_

“--And then I’m going to take the skin from your body,” Reyes continued, “one piece at a time, and you’re going to stay alive in solitary unless I get those coordinates.”

“You’re trying too hard.” Shimada grunted, his voice barely more than a low, raspy whisper.

Reyes kicked at McCree's rib-cage again as Moira continued with Shimada's face, her mouth in a tight line.

“Wait!” Olivia yelled, squinting at her screen. “I’m reading num—“

“Six, one.” McCree mumbled. “Six, nine.”

Reyes breathed out.

“Four, two.” he finished.

Shimada stopped shouting as Moira pulled the knife away

“Is he truthful?” Moira asked Olivia.

“I think so.”

“How can you tell?”

“Well, I don’t think he’s really capable of lying. And besides, the other one swore in his head when he gave them up.”

McCree's face was out of view.

"Alright, we're done here." Reyes said, giving McCree one last kick. "I look forward to telling Morrison you said hello"

Olivia watched as Moira took out another set of needles, presumably filled with a general anesthetic that Olivia couldn't name.

She decided she needed a vacation.

 

~~~~

When Jesse woke up, everything was dim.

 

He did his best to survey his surroundings, but his neck hurt so badly when he tried to turn it that the small task became absurdly difficult. Furthermore, the lighting was poor, protruding somewhere from a source that Jesse couldn't spot. After a few minutes of constant scanning, he was finally able to make out that he was in some sort of holding cell. As for his other senses, the air was so thick with blood and sweat that Jesse suspected he'd be able to taste it if he stuck his tongue out. He considered trying to send another message back to base, but he knew it wouldn’t go through. He’d already tried several times since they’re arrived to this place, only to find that nothing could get through the walls.

He didn't know for sure exactly how long they'd been in here, but he suspected somewhere around seven or eight hours, when considering the strength of his desire for nicotine.

Intense, uncontrolled fear in regards to what lied ahead began to climb from Jesse's stomach to his chest. Struggling not to panic, Jesse gave himself the simple task of seeing if he could find any more information of his predicament.

He started by wiggling his fingers and toes to find that everything was working but his left hand, which had been removed. He couldn't see it, but he could feel that the stump of his left arm had been bound tight to his torso. When he tried to move his three other limbs, he found that they had all been chained tightly together, not only with each other, but with something else. Some other mass.

Something warm.

Jesse straightened his back and took a deep sniff.

In a tiny moment of joy, one that Jesse suspected would be his last, Jesse recognized Hanzo's smell and realized that they'd been tied together.

Jesse opened his mouth to speak, but as two tablespoons of blood gushed from his lips and a piecing ache in his jaw started, he decided he didn't have the energy. So instead, he tapped his tongue against the roof of his mouth.

_'Hey, Hanz, you awake?'_ he sent.

No response. Jesse didn't even know if Hanzo was alive.

Jesse sat in silence as the seconds passed, leaning into the wall of Hanzo's back. Making his body as still as he could, Jesse struggled to feel in his shoulder blades for any sort of heart beat coming from Hanzo's body.

It wasn't the ideal way to check for a pulse. For a moment, Jesse thought he felt something, but then when it quickened, he realized it was his own.

Part of Jesse hoped Hanzo was dead, so that he wouldn't have to bear what was coming next, be it unspeakable suffering or parasitic brainwashing. However, a more selfish part of Jesse hoped Hanzo was alive, just so that they could speak, one last time.

Jesse was just blacking out again when he felt a movement.

 _'You awake?’_ Jesse sent, straightening his back.

There was a very, very tiny cough. Jesse felt both a wave of relief and a spark of dread.

_'Hanzo?'_

_'Yes. Yes, I'm awake.'_

Jesse nearly broke down at the sound of Hanzo's voice in his head. The amount of different emotions that filled him was so overwhelming that he did his best to ignore them. However, one in particular was unsurpassable.

 _'Look,_ ' Jesse started, feeling himself muster a wince of thick guilt. _'I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. This is all my fault.'_

Jesse could hear as Hanzo sighed, a long exhale of air that cut through the silence.

_'I feel no judgement towards you.'_

Jesse almost choked on his spit. Hanzo's tone seemed authentic.

_'What?'_

_'Please, I ask that you do not cause yourself more suffering than is necessary. You are a man who has dedicated his life to helping others. You should not be ashamed to have a breaking point, just like everyone else.'_

Jesse squeezed his eyes shut. Hanzo's words were unusually kind, nearly absurdly so when the context was considered. Jesse had always thought that Hanzo, as well as the rest of his friends, thought him to be much better of a person than he truly was. However, he resisted the urge to strike Hanzo down, wanting to respect his opinion, especially considering the raw honesty that was inherent to the situation.

 _'And,_ ’ Hanzo continued, _'it may be selfish of me to feel this way, but I cannot help to be somewhat pleased how highly you value my safety.'_

_'Oh.'_

_'The team will be alright, Jesse. I cannot even begin to tell you of the security system that Winston has set up. They will likely need to relocate, and Talon may be able to steal information, but I am certain they will be fine.'_

Silence fell. Just for a few seconds. Opening his eyes again, Jesse searched the room for any sign of movement or change in the status quo. He found nothing.

 _'There is something I'd like to say, and something I'd like to apologize for._ ' Hanzo sent.

_'What?'_

_'I love you.'_

It really felt like it didn't matter. It shouldn't have mattered to know that Hanzo loved him when they had no time left to spend together. However, a dull spark still managed to stir in Jesse's chest.

_ 'And by that I mean I am in love with you, if that was not clear.' _

Jesse breathed out long and slow, resisting the sudden urge to weep.

 _'Why didn't you tell me?'_ he asked.

_ 'I did not know how.' _

_ 'Suppose I can relate to that.' _

_ 'Perhaps. In any case, I would like to apologize for tossing you to the side.' _

Jesse felt himself frown. The sting of heartbreak seemed so long ago and so unimportant now, but he still managed to remember the pain, just for a second.

_ 'Why'd you do it?' _

Hanzo took so long to reply that Jesse was worried he'd passed out again. Thankfully, Hanzo eventually stirred and responded.

_ 'Because, Jesse, I cannot help but notice that no one has ever treated you right.' _

_ 'What do you mean?' _

_ 'The longer I stayed with you, and the harder it became to deny what we were doing. When I had no deniability left, all I could think was how selfish it was of me to feel that I could be the one to finally--'  _

Hanzo cut himself off with a bloody-sounding cough before starting over.

_ 'I am an honorless, disgraced shell of a man. To say that you deserve someone better would be far more than an understatement.' _

Jesse felt a dull but manageable pain as he let his mouth twist to the side in thought. Hanzo's words sent a spike of sadness into his chest. He couldn't say that it was the answer he'd been expecting from Hanzo, but it made sense now that he'd heard it. For the millionth time, he wished that Hanzo could see himself without his biases.

_ 'Can I tell you what I think about that?' _

_ 'How?' _

Jesse coughed out another few drops of blood, trying to find the words.

_ 'Look, even if I am this, uh, great person that you seem to think I am,' _

_ 'You are.' _

_ 'Well, even if I am, it ain’t that simple.' _

_ 'Yes, it is.' _

_ 'Can we agree to disagree?' _

_ 'No.' _

Jesse groaned quietly to himself.

_ 'Fine. I'm the goddamn messiah. So shouldn't I have what I want?' _

Hanzo didn't respond. Jesse wracked his brain for words, not even close to finished with this topic.

 _'Shouldn't my opinion of you count for something?'_ Jesse continued.

_ 'Your high opinion of me is false. It has simply come at the result of me manipulating you to see me more favorably.' _

_ 'How?' _

Again, Hanzo's response was delayed. Against his back, Jesse felt Hanzo stiffen.

_ 'I cannot think of anything at the moment. But I am still certain that I have.' _

Jesse sighed.

_ 'You remember that conversation we had at the range? Couple months ago? Where you said there was always gonna be more variables in life than you could ever hope to account for?' _

_ 'Yes. I do. Where are you going with this?' _

_ 'Maybe you ain't fundamentally loathsome. Maybe you ain't irredeemable. And maybe you deserve something that you want.' _

Jesse's ears perked up at a strange noise. After a quick, panic filled moment, he realized that it was a choked sob from Hanzo.

 _'I am not ready for all of that._ ' Hanzo replied.

_ 'Well, you don't gotta be. But why don't we start with you letting me love you?' _

Hanzo fell silent. Jesse searched his brain for everything he'd ever wanted to say, hoping to get it out while he still had time.

 _'Listen, Hanz,'_ he continued. _'I don't want you because I think you're the kindest or the sweetest. It's more complicated than that.'_

_ 'Then why is it? Why do you want me?' _

_ 'Because of, I don't know, because of everything. The things that you think of. Way your brain works. You got this mind that I can't even begin to understand. And all these outlooks that I don't got no idea where the hell they came from but always end up kinda --' _

A sound buzzed in Jesse's head, telling him he'd reached the fifty word limit.

_'--end up kinda making sense. Look, I've heard a lot of people talk from different ages and cultures and professions, but I reckon I ain't never met anyone quite as strange as you._ ' 

_ 'Oh.'  _

_ ’You're like...fire. You're like this, this powerful tool that ain't really good or evil. I think you spent a lot of your life burning people, but I don't think it was because you're a monster. And whatever the case is, there's something about you that I think makes me a--' _

_ '--better man. I don't know if you do it on purpose, but I've decided it don't really matter. I love being around you, and you make me better.' _

Hanzo didn't reply. Jesse heard another choked sob.

_ 'I know it ain't as simple as I'm making it out to be. For all I know, everything that I stand for might be burning people too. But I think that together, we could have done something real nice. Warmed the whole world.' _

Against his back, Hanzo's body relaxed. Jesse closed his eyes.

 _'I feel the same._ ' Hanzo replied.

Too sentimental to reply with words, Jesse did his best to rub his head affectionately against what felt like Hanzo's shoulder.

 _'I will say,_ ' Hanzo continued, _'I find it remarkable that you are so impressed by my intelligence when you regularly make me feel like an idiot child.'_

_ 'What do you mean?' _

_ 'You have this particular habit of taking some concept that I thought was a fact of life and spinning it to show we some sort of new angle, all in only the most nonchalant way possible.' _

_ 'That's how I feel about you!'  _

_ 'And the sweetness inside of you. The integrity. And your heart.' _

_ 'My heart?' _

_ 'I simply cannot resist what is made of gold, Jesse.' _

Jesse couldn't speak, but he still somehow managed to stammer, be it metaphorically.

_ 'You're too much.' _

_ 'So be it.' _

Against Jesse's back, Hanzo shifted. Jesse felt the cold clasps of their metal bonds clink together.

 _'Hey, while I still can,_ ' Jesse started, _'I'd just like to say that the time I spent with you was some of the best of my life. I love you. And I'm thankful you shared yourself with me.'_

_ 'As I am with you. I apologize that I never had it in me to admit what it was.' _

_ 'Hey, you and me both. Don't beat yourself up too much.' _

_ 'Either way, I suppose you must have known.' _

_ 'What it was?' _

_ 'That I loved you. Did you?' _

_ 'Knew you cared about me. Never was sure that you loved me. Kinda drove me mad, if I'm being honest.' _

_ 'Oh.' _

_ 'Did you know I loved you?' _

_ 'Perhaps on some level of cognition. I did my best to deny it until I simply couldn't anymore. And, well, you know what came of that.' _

Jesse thought to himself for a moment. He knew they didn't have much time, so he wanted to ask what was really important to him.

_ 'How long have you loved me?' _

_ 'A few years. Before I asked you for intercourse. I used my appointment with Doctor Ziegler as an excuse to get close to you.' _

_ 'Anything in particular I did?' _

_ 'That made me realize how I felt about you?' _

_ 'Yeah.' _

_ 'It was many things, slowly, as it usually is. Although I do remember one particular moment where I witnessed you thanking the coffee maker for producing your coffee that left me unable to compose myself for the remainder of the day.' _

Jesse smiled. He could recall too many times that he'd thanked the coffee maker to pick out the particular one Hanzo had mentioned, but that was alright.

 _'What about you?'_ Hanzo followed.

_ 'First time I saw you dance.' _

_ 'Interesting choice.' _

_ 'I would have married you, you know. If you’d asked.' _

Hanzo coughed.

_'What?'_

_'My apologies. It is unimportant, but I've just realized that marriage probably does not mean the same thing to me as it is to you.'_

_ 'And what does it mean to you?' _

_ 'Political union.' _

_ 'Prince.' _

_ 'You condescend.' _

_ 'My prince.' _

_ 'Shut your mouth.' _

Jesse smiled. He could no longer feel the cold and the darkness and the dread, but only Hanzo. It felt like they were safe inside of some sort of metaphorical sanctuary, hidden away in each other's minds.

 _'What did you want with me?'_ Hanzo asked. _'What did you see for our future?'_

_ 'Wanted to spend my life with you. Didn't work out the details. What about you?'  _

_ 'I do not think about it. What, do you think I've constructed some sort of detailed fantasy in which we retire to a Celtic country in our mid-seventies to keep some small town safe from harm? And then one day, you take a liking to an eight year old--' _

_ '--orphan child who suffers from depression but has a certain will and heart that you find relatable and respectable. And at first, I am hesitant to help you raise this child, especially considering the near fact of life that you would be a better father than me, but then I--'_

_ '--slowly begin to work through my own upbringing and allow myself to help you love and develop this child into someone who can carry on our legacy? Do you think I think of this? Because I don't.'_

Hanzo's words filled Jesse with a deep sort of longing that he didn't even know he had in him.

 _'Sounds beautiful.'_ Jesse replied, as wistfully as he could manage. _'Keep a town out of trouble, half raise a kid. Grow our own dope.'_

_ 'Only the finest.' _

_ 'As for the protecting, are we working for the government in this fantasy, or is a vigilante sort of thing?' _

_ 'I will let you choose.' _

_ 'Think you know what I'm gonna choose.' _

Hanzo made a very tiny noise of disgust, audible in the silent room.

 _'Hey, uh, I got something I wanna say._ ' Jesse sent.

_ 'Yes?' _

Jesse swallowed. It didn't help.

_ 'I love you.' _

_ 'I have managed to piece that together, thank you.' _

_ 'No, I mean I really, really love you.' _

_ 'You are too much.' _

Jesse didn't reply.

 _'Continue._ ' Hanzo followed.

_ 'Reckon I'm thankful for damn near everything you did for me.' _

_ 'It is a mutual sentiment.' _

_ 'I wanna thank you for so much. Thank you for treating me so nice.' _

_ 'I was not that nice.' _

_ 'And for dealing with all my shit. The night terrors. All the hesitations I had that you couldn't understand. And I know it bugs you that I never clean my sock drawer.' _

_ 'I can live with it.' _

_ 'And I wanna thank you for never treating me like I was an idiot. Know it sounds stupid, but it meant more than I can explain.' _

_ 'You are not an idiot, so I do not treat you as such. It's simple.' _

_ 'Don't get me wrong, you were brutal.' _

_ 'I promised nothing less.' _

There was a crackling, dusty sound as Hanzo started to chuckle. Jesse joined him, painfully so.

 _'Lastly._ ' Jesse started. _'And my apologies if this sounds too crude, but I wanna thank you for how you treated me while we were making love.'_

_ 'That is quite the statement.' _

_ 'Well, I really mean it. Reckon you balanced out pushing me with letting me go at my own pace pretty well. And you dealt with me being all vulnerable well enough.' _

_ 'I feel the same about you.' _

_ 'And, just, goddamn. Your performance. You made some good love." _

_ 'We are quite literally sitting in a pool of my urine, and you think of my performance making love?' _

_ 'Your urine? We've been here for a while. This is a mutual urine puddle.' _

_ 'Either way, is it not your greatest fantasy?' _

_ 'You can go straight to hell.' _

There was another dry, mutual snicker. They both fell silent, and Jesse retreated into his thoughts.

It was strange to Jesse. The older he got, the more complicated he began to realize everything was, and meeting Hanzo certainly hadn't done anything to stop that constant realization. However, when he actually thought about the concept of love, he realized it was a very simple emotion. Jesse wasn't sure why, but Ana's face flashed before his eyes. With a shooting pain, he realized he'd never gotten to say goodbye. He hoped, prayed even, that she'd be alright, now that Talon knew the base coordinates. He wished there was something, anything he could do to help her. However, with his hands tied, the only thing he felt he could do was honor her in his memory. It felt so long ago since he'd seen her last. It had only been a day, but it felt like weeks.

 _'Feels so long ago. I miss them.'_ he sent.

_ 'The team?' _

_ 'Yeah.' _

_ 'I suppose I do too.' _

_ 'Really, now? You ain't grown to like them now, have you?' _

_ 'I like Commander Amari. I like Winston. And I cannot help but feel a certain respect for Miss Song.' _

_ 'F' _

_ 'F' _

Jesse coughed out a laugh, choking on some chunks of blood.

_ 'And I like my brother.' _

Jesse almost replied with "then you should tell him" before remembering the situation they were in.

 _'I like your brother too_.' he sent instead.

_ 'I've noticed.' _

_ 'You really think they'll be all right?' Winston's security system and all that?' _

_ 'Yes.' _

_ 'Really?' _

_ 'Yes.' _

_ 'Would you be honest with me if you didn't think that?' _

Hanzo took a moment to reply.

 _'I cannot say for sure that they will be alright._ ' he sent. _'But I was not lying about Winston's precautions. I truly think it unlikely that anyone will be harmed.'_

_ 'You promise?' _

_ 'Yes.' _

_ 'Thank you.' _

Hanzo didn't reply, and they both fell silent again. Jesse still didn't know if he was telling the truth, but he quickly decided it wasn't worth it to spend his last few hours as a sane man wondering about it. Feeling sentimental as the clock ticked down, Jesse's mind ran through everyone that he loved. The first person that came to mind was Ana again, and then Genji, and then every friend or significant other he'd made along the way of his life. Even the ones who had left with huff. He thought of people he found to be dull. In that moment, he developed a new appreciation for Lena and Mei and Lucio and the stupid movies they watched. He wished he'd spent more time with them, although he supposed there wasn't much he could do now.

To his surprise, he even thought of Ashe. He wondered if perhaps things could have been better between the two of them.

Finally, he thought of his mother. He wondered for a moment if she'd have been proud of him, of what he'd made himself out to be. He wished that he could have seen her one last time. Even though Jesse had never really believed in the whole heaven thing, he liked to think that he was going to see her again soon.

Out of people to think about, Jesse's heart dropped as he remembered again what lied ahead. Death, if he was very, very lucky. Brainwashing, more likely. Coming down off of his conversation with Hanzo, Jesse's hand started to tremble as he remembered Reyes' threat of solitary.

 _'Hey, uh, sorry if this is kinda awkward, but there ain't a chance you still got that cyanide up your ass, is there?'_ Jesse asked.

_ 'I do. I also have a half gram of cocaine and a light razor if you'd like to break out of here.' _

It took Jesse more than a few seconds to respond, as Hanzo's words proved themselves very difficult to process. Even after he had, Jesse wasn't quite sure he'd heard right.

 _'What?'_ he asked

_ 'I said, I have a half gram of cocaine and a light razor lodged up my rectum. Would you like to live?' _

Jesse coughed, loud and clear.

 _'Reckon I would._ ' Jesse sent back as a elated, almost hysterical laughter began to bubble in his chest. Not wanting to sound like a maniac, he did his best to hold it back, but still ended up producing a quiet, hiccup-y sort of chuckle.

 _'We must find a way to break free from our chains._ ' Hanzo sent.

Their cuffs clinked together again as Hanzo shifted.

 _'I'm gonna have to dislocate my thumb.'_ Jesse replied, gritting teeth.

_'I think we should save that for a last effort.'_

_'No, it has to be me. I'm the one that sold out the team.'_

Face pouring with sweat, Jesse's hands shook with the thought of popping a finger out of his socket. But in the end, he knew what had to be done.

_'Perhaps it does not have to be either of us. What do you have in your pockets?'_

_'I only got one arm, so you're gonna have to help me._ ' Jesse replied, brushing his right thumb into Hanzo's left fist. 'I need you to grab and hold tight.'

Hanzo sighed. Instead of grabbing Jesse's thumb, he pulled on the chains. After a short second of additional tightness on Jesse's limbs, he heard a snap and a metal crash as the bonds broke. The pressure released.

 _'How'd you do that?'_ Jesse asked, amazed.

_'It was not difficult. In fact, I believe they just put us in these bonds so we would not fall over in our sleep and choke to death on our own vomit.'_

There was a moment of coldness as Hanzo stripped himself away from Jesse's back. Jesse struggled to keep himself upright as he listened to Hanzo shifting. He heard the sound of clothing being removed, shortly followed by a tube being opened. A moment later, Jesse heard Hanzo mess with the contents, and then a sharp, nasally inhale. There was something off about the sound, although Jesse couldn’t figure out what.

"We will work quickly." Hanzo said aloud, voice rough. "If they are monitoring us, we may have little time."

"Gotcha." Jesse coughed.

Jesse's voice felt rough in his throat. Just uttering the single word had felt like a threat to exhaust his remaining energy. In the dark, he heard Hanzo shuffle.

"My apologies." Hanzo said. "I am not used to having only one hand."

"'S alright."

Although his eyes were still closed, Jesse felt Hanzo's hand move in front of his face, along with a chemical scent that was very distantly familiar.

"This is uncut, high-octane Benzoylmethylecgonine, straight from Peru." Hanzo stated.

"...Uh, what?"

"It's good shit. Inhale."

Steadying his chest, Jesse did as he was told.

"Whoo!" Jesse called, snapping his eyes open.

Jesse jumped to his feet, filled with new energy. They could do it. They could live. And warn Overwatch that Talon knew the coordinates.

"Ain't done coke since Blackwatch." Jesse said.

"Long hours?" Hanzo asked.

"Reyes used to give some to me and your brother sometimes during fifty-hour stake outs. Angela was always furious."

"I can imagine."

Jesse scanned his surroundings once more. Walking over, Jesse reached out to touch the wall. When he reached his hand up and stood on the tips of his toes, he found that his fingers just brushed the ceiling.

"What do you have?" Hanzo asked. "I've no weapons but myself."

With his hand, Jesse patted himself down to see what he had left. He'd been stripped off his serape, flashbangs, chestplate, as well as all weapons he'd had on him. Jesse gave a quick thought to his arm, hat, and gun, and wondered if he'd be able to retrieve them.

"Not much." Jesse replied.

Working as quickly as he could with one hand, Jesse took off his belt, knee brace, chaps, boots, and pants. Although he did keep his overshirt; a knock-off oxford flannel that he hadn't washed since before Hanzo dumped him. Hanzo did the same. Jesse put his boots back on. He felt a relief to get out of his wet pants, although it was a shame to leave his belt buckle behind.

"Feel like I should give you a warning." Jesse followed.

"Hmm?"

"Cocaine gives me wood."

Hanzo scoffed loudly. Jesse hoped he didn't think he was joking.

Jesse turned on his feet, getting a look around him. The cell seemed to be composed completely from a smooth, shiny black stone that made up the ceiling, ground, and all four walls. There wasn't much space, perhaps about ten cubed feet. At first glance, the floor and ceiling and walls all seemed to be perfectly square, rendering the cell a perfect cube. However, Jesse quickly realized both that the wall in front of him was slightly longer than the one behind him, and that there was a subtle curvature to the line where the walls met the floor and ceiling. In the center of the ceiling was a single, light fixture, with a round, industrial cover, about the size of a dinner plate that looked like it could take a pounding. As for Hanzo, Jesse spotted him with his face out of sight, turned toward the far wall as he ran a finger over the surface.

Moving towards Hanzo, Jesse put his hand on Hanzo's shoulder and opened his mouth.

"So what's the plan?" Jesse started as he turned Hanzo to face him. "We gonna--"

Jesse cut himself off as soon as Hanzo's face turned into view. There was a heart pounding, white-faced second of silence before Jesse keeled over to vomit.

At that point, Jesse would have thought he'd have nothing left to throw up. Apparently, he was wrong.

"Are you alright?" Hanzo asked calmly.

Most of Hanzo's face was perfectly unharmed, save for a few scratches and bruises. However, at the center of his face was a bloody red triangle were his nose used to be, gone up nearly to the new bridge piercing. Jesse tried to look up at Hanzo again but was quickly hit with another round of convulsions.

"I'm--I'm sorry." Jesse stammered, voice like fire in his throat as he spoke. "I just--really hate the undercut."

Despite everything, Jesse felt a tiny burst of pleasure in his chest when Hanzo let out a chuckle.

Getting back to his feet, Jesse took another look at Hanzo's face, forcing himself to get used to it. He got over it pretty quick, realizing that he just kind of looked like Red Skull. In the end, it wasn't that big of a deal. Overwatch could graft Hanzo a new nose easily if they made it back. Jesse's biggest worry was the amount of pain Hanzo must have been in, although he didn't show it.

"Will you help me put on the razor?" Hanzo asked, handing Jesse a distantly familiar looking chip.

"Yeah, course." Jesse replied.

He easily snapped it onto Hanzo's pointer finger when Hanzo extended his hand.

"Will this thing work as a weapon?" asked Jesse, pulling up the left sleeve of his flannel so that it wouldn't flop around aimlessly.

"Unfortunately, no. It is programmed to not cut through human flesh."

"Oh. Guess we'll have to improvise."

Jesse watched as Hanzo took a few steps towards the nearest wall, hand outstretched.

"Are you prepared?" Hanzo asked.

Jesse thought to himself. They had only two hands between the two of them, no idea what they were up against, and no weapons. Jesse thought it more than likely that they'd be captured again.

"'Fore we bust out," Jesse started, "we should work something out with the cyanide. Don't know about you, but I don't wanna know what Reyes has in store."

"A good idea." Hanzo replied, bending over to pick up the tube from the floor. He opened it, retrieving the cyanide pill.

Jesse stared at the pill. It was a small thing, made of chalky-looking material, about the size of a peanut.

"Enough for two?" Jesse asked.

"Enough for several." Hanzo replied as he broke the pill into two chunks. "I ordered a large size in preparation for this exact situation."

"...Huh."

"Do you have anything with adhesive?"

Twisting his mouth to the side, Jesse reached into the front pocket of his shirt and pulled out two band-aids. After unwrapping the bandage, Jesse tucked the pill into one of the sticky ends. Hanzo watched as Jesse stuck it to the left shoulder of his shirt, in biting distance.

"Good plan." said Hanzo as he repeated Jesse's invention, sticking the cyanide band-aid onto the sleeve of his undershirt.

"Not looking forward to bitin' into a band-aid" Jesse said, running his finger over the rough tape bandage. "Texture's kinda making me anxious."

"Your priorities are questionable. And you look like shit."

"Least I got a nose."

Hanzo put a hand up to his mouth as he broke into a laugh. Jesse grinned wide, feeling the dry salt trails crack against his cheeks.

"We are ready." Hanzo said, turning back towards the wall.

"Wait." Jesse replied,

"Hmm?"

Turning Hanzo to face him, Jesse pulled Hanzo into a tight hug, sharing their warmth. He squeezed his eyes shut as Hanzo reached his hand out and rubbed his lower back.

"We're gonna do it, alright?" said Jesse, rocking them. "Know we will."

"Hijō ni ōkī." Hanzo muttered.

"Huh?"

Keeping his hands on Jesse's shoulders, Hanzo peeled himself away and let his eyes sink low to the line of Jesse's boxers.

"I see now why you felt the need to warn me of cocaine's effect on you." Hanzo said blankly.

"You think I was lyin'?"

"I did not think it would be so...prominent."

"Hey, I'm a grower."

"Apparently."

Jesse let out a childish snicker. Hanzo joined him. When they approached the wall, Jesse felt as ready as he'd probably ever be. He watched in silence as Hanzo turned the razor on and carved a circle in the stone.

"It appears to be thicker than six feet." Hanzo remarked, the stone staying perfectly static even as he pushed hard in the center of his circle.

"We'll try another wall. Can't all be that thick."

The circle they made in the second wall proved to also lead nowhere. Jesse tried tapping on each wall and the floor to see if there was any difference in pitch, to no avail.

"Third time's the charm?" Jesse asked as Hanzo moved to the next wall, starting his third circle.

The third time actually did end up being the charm, as there was an audible click when Hanzo finished the circle and a tiny shift when Hanzo pushed on it. They turned to eye each other.

 _'From here we should only speak over the neurocom._ ' Hanzo sent. _'For stealth purposes.'_

_'Read you.'_

Starting where the wall met the floor, Hanzo bent over to carve out a crude hole, about four feet tall, that they could easily crawl under. After he'd finished, he carved the shape into smaller chunks and removed them individually with Jesse's help. It took about a minute. Light began to pour into their cell, but Jesse couldn't see through the wall was more of the same smooth, black rock, just better lit.

There were no guards in sight.

 _'After you._ ' Jesse sent when the hole was finished.

Hanzo shook his head dismissively before leaving the cell. Jesse made sure his chunk of cyanide pill was secure before following. When he stepped into the light, he took a look around him.

They were in a long, black hallway, with a ceiling the same height as their cell, maybe eight or nine feet. Besides a pattern of light fixtures identical to the one in the cell that hung along the tops of the walls, there was no decoration. Everything was made from the same shiny black stone. Curiously enough, the hallway was bent into a part of circle rather than straight, with both ends curving out of Jesse's line of sight.

Now in the light, Jesse took another look at Hanzo. With a wince, he eyed the angry red and charred flesh of the stump at the end of Hanzo's right hand. He hoped the coke was numbing him.

 _'Over there._ ' Hanzo sent, pointing a few feet to the left of where they'd came from. _'Something on the wall.'_

Jesse followed Hanzo and quickly noticed a shiny grey panel about half the size of a sheet of paper, embedded into the wall. As he neared closer, Jesse noticed it held two flat buttons, one labeled "door open" and the other labeled "door close".

_’It appears the doors only opens from the outside. _'__ __Hanzo followed._ _

Jesse pushed the "door open" button. A doorway-sized chunk of the obsidian live wall slid easily into the ground, revealing a more official looking entrance to the cell next to the crude hole they'd drawn. In hindsight, it was probably a bad idea to hit a door button while trying to stay hidden. But luckily, the process had been rather silent. Jesse pressed the other button, and the cell closed back up.

 _'There's something a little farther down._ ' Jesse sent, noticing another panel just a few feet down the hall.

_'I see it. I believe it's a map.'_

A closer look proved Hanzo to be right. It appeared to be a map of the layout of the structure they were in. Jesse squinted.

_'Why does it gotta be a spiral?'_ Jesse sent, resisting the urge to groan.

Jesse couldn't prove it. In fact, he could probably disprove it if he tried hard enough. But still, he couldn't help but feel like Reyes was fucking with him. It was a horrible thought, one that buried itself under his skin and tried to weaken his bones as he reread the word "solitary". Next to him, Hanzo squinted.

 _'I believe these dots may be moving._ ' he noted.

Jesse took another look. It seemed Hanzo was right again; several of the dots, such as the orange and a few of the light grey, appeared to be shifting.

_'I think they're tracking 'em. Sombra's probably the purple, and Moira's the orange...and the light brown ones are ground troops.'_

_'Yes, that makes sense. That leaves Reyes as the dark grey dot in the meeting room.'_

_'We ain't on the map.'_

_'Which leads me to believe only registered Talon agents are.'_

_'Lucky us. One kilometer to surface, huh?'_

_'We must be underground.'_

_'That's always fun.'_

Hanzo's face twisted. Even without the nose, Jesse recognized it as a indication that Hanzo was plotting.

 _'We will go this way._ ’ Hanzo sent, touching their location on the map. He traced left and then up, passing through the lab, and then continued along the spiral until his finger reached the stairs.

Jesse eyed the map again. Something in particular was bothering him.

 _'Jesse?'_ Hanzo asked.

_'Wonder if there's anyone alive in solitary.'_

Hanzo made a tiny, indistinguishable little noise.

_'We cannot take them with us.'_

_'You know that ain't what I'm thinking about.'_

_'Are you stuck on a dilemma?_

_'Ain't really a dilemma if you ask me. I mean, wouldn't you take--'_

Jesse ran a silent finger over his throat.

_'--over the, how should I say, Amélie route? Ten times out of ten.'_

Hanzo took another look at the map, and then another look at the razor on his finger. With a cock of his head, Hanzo's face scrunched up again.

_'I suppose we could cut through from the north most solitary cell into the science lab. Because only one of us needs to dig the hole, the other could deal with the survivors. The shorter walk may even save time.’_

_'Huh.'_

_'However, we will be forced to split up for a minute or two, which could possibly be problematic. I will let you choose.'_

Jesse took another look at the map.

It wasn't the risk that made Jesse hesitate, as there was arguably as much of a risk if they didn't, when the potential of time saved was considered. It was more the thought of being left alone in the dark, even for a moment.

However, the idea of anyone living in solitary confinement made him feel a wave of anger and sickness so deep that he didn't know if he'd be able to live with himself if they didn't check.

 _'We'll dig._ ' he replied.

_'Very well.'_

Liquid ice rushed into Jesse's blood as the dark grey dot exited the meeting room. It didn't seem like it was in a rush, just floated slowly down the hall, but it was enough to make the hair on the back of Jesse's neck stand up.

 _'Follow me._ ' Hanzo instructed, taking off.

_'Lead the way.'_

The hall kept its theme as they walked, with the wall staying at the same degree of curvature. Jesse kept his eyes peeled.

 _'Would you like me to do the mercy killing?'_ Hanzo asked.

_"I mean, I'd prefer it, but I don't think I can ask that of another man.'_

_'It will not phase me.'_

Jesse looked to Hanzo's face to see it was help with the utmost sincerity.

 _'Really wouldn't bother you?'_ asked Jesse.

_'I have been killing people for a very long time.'_

_'Then be my guest.'_

_'Perfect. Take the razor.'_

Hanzo handed Jesse the light razor and helped him clip it on to his index nail.

_'Much obliged.'_

_'Tap the top to toggle it on and off.'_

The arrived at the end of the hallway. The dimensions and lay out seemed to match to what the map had dictated. There were three more door panels present, one at the very end of the hall and the other two alongside the wall to their rights.

Jesse stepped forward to the door panel at the end of the hallway. He held his breath as the chamber opened.

Thankfully, there was no one inside.

_'I will check the other two while you work.'_

_'Do you need a weapon?'_

Hanzo turned his face towards Jesse's, insulted.

 _'Hey, you only got one hand._ ' Jesse followed.

_'No. Humans are very fragile creatures, Jesse. I do not need a weapon.'_

Jesse supposed that was true.

Hanzo turned around and was out of sight. Before Jesse could acknowledge the blow of being left even a tiny bit alone, he took a peek inside of the solitary cell. It sort of resembled the cell they'd been left in, although it was much, much smaller, with the floor only taking up about a five by five foot radius. There was no light that Jesse could spot, and the walls and ceiling were all coated in sound removal foam.

Hanzo turned to the other door panels. Although they were just a few feet apart, Jesse still couldn't help but feel a strong sense of dread as he walked into the cell. He did his best not to look too closely at the mad ramblings that had been etched into some of the foam panels as he turned the light razor on and put his finger up against the wall to start scooping it out.

Because the light razor didn't go all the way through, Jesse had to make some additional horizontal cuts to remove chunks of wall and dirt. After about a half a minute, the dark and his imagination got the better of him. He couldn't stop imagining the door behind him slamming shut and the light razor breaking down, as well as the terror that came with it.

Jesse tapped his tongue against the roof of his mouth.

_'Solitary's unjustifiable. Should be outlawed.'_

_'I thought you believed nothing should be illegal.'_

Jesse smiled. Hanzo was easy sometimes.

_'You know what I mean.'_

_'I do. But perhaps your plans to abolish the entire federal government may cause more chaos than good.'_

_'Well, we got a federal government right now, and solitary sure as hell still happens.'_

_'Whatever you say, Trosky._ '

_'Why won't anyone let that go?'_

Finally, Jesse came in contact with another wall, one that was presumably framing the science lab. Right on time, Hanzo entered the cell, smelling even stronger of salt and copper than he had before. Jesse was filled with instant relief.

Feeling sentimental, Jesse quickly turned the razor off, wrapped his hand around Hanzo's shoulder, and pressed his lips against his forehead. To Jesse's surprise, he didn't get scolded. Instead, Hanzo leaned into the kiss and produced a tiny noise of pleasure.

_'I love you.'_

_'I know.'_

Jesse scoffed but continued with his carving. He was mostly carving from side to side instead of forwards, trying to decrease the thickness of the wall as much as could before making the final cut through.

 _'Find anyone?'_ Jesse asked. He wasn't sure why he felt like he needed to know, but he did.

_'Just one. I believe the other two were meant for us.'_

_'Oof. Nasty thought.'_

_'Is there a reason you are cutting so shallow?'_

_'Yeah. Figure when we bust in here, it's gonna be the end of our stealth, least for the science lab. If it's frail, we can kick it down in one go.'_

_'Ah. Elegant.'_

Jesse made the final cut, a long one from floor to overhead that would hopefully be enough for them to pass through after pushing on. Hanzo pulled his hand back, ready to punch. However, Jesse grabbed it before Hanzo could strike.

There was something about the idea of busting into a place Moira inhabited that put Jesse on edge, reminding him that he had no idea what they were up against. Perhaps it was just the claustrophobia that got to him, or his imagination, which was still running rampant.

 _'Wait, wait._ ' Jesse sent.

 _'What?'_ Hanzo replied, halting his hand and looking over his shoulder with an annoyed expression.

Jesse gulped.

 _'What if--what if when we cut through that wall, we see some sort of, some sort of monster or experiment or secret that's so horrifying and unfathomable that it forces us to reconsider our previous ability to interpret even the most basic natures of reality and drives us both mad in the process?'_ Jesse explained, digging his palms deep into his thighs to keep his legs from shaking.

Hanzo rolled his eyes. Kicking hard, he shattered the chunk of wall into a doorway-sized hole.

"Oh, thank god." Jesse said aloud with relief to see that it was just a man pointing a loaded sub-machine gun at their heads.

"Hands up!" the soldier shouted, tensing his hands around his weapon.

Jesse punched the soldier in the head. Immediately, he crumpled to the ground.

 _'Christ, that just, that's gotta be the twelfth time that's worked._ ' Jesse sent, thanking his fast hands as Hanzo grabbed the gun from the fallen man.

 _'You take this._ ' Hanzo replied, handing Jesse the gun. _'You have more experience with only having one hand than I.'_

Jesse examined the weapon. It was an MP7 submachine gun, standard issue. Besides a silencer, it was unmodified. The clip lodged in the magazine catch looked almost full.

_'Gotcha.'_

Jesse stepped into the science lab, significantly more confident now that he had a gun. He took a look around while Hanzo searched the fallen soldier.

The room was about fifteen or so feet wide, although he was at a lost to tell how long it was as a tall shelf, stocked to the brim with jars, beakers, and bunsen burners, stretched almost to the ceiling and was just about as wide as the room itself. Between the right end of the shelf and the wall, there was a tiny bit of open space, enough for the average adult to just get through comfortable. From his current position, Jesse couldn't spot anyone else, but he could hear the noises of metal and glass clattering that made him suspect they weren't alone. There was a door to their left that Jesse assumed was Moira's room. Jesse figured they were going to have to pass the first shelf for more information.

 _'Find anything?'_ Jesse asked.

Getting up from the body, Hanzo handed Jesse one more clip and a wallet. Jesse opened the wallet, hoping to find a keycard, but the only thing good he fished out was a twenty dollar bill. He slipped it into his front pocket. As for the clip, he tucked it into the side of his waistband, seeing no where else to put it.

_'Should we advance?'_

_'You're the strategist.'_

_'I'm too high.'_

Jesse watched as Hanzo examined a standard looking crowbar that was leaning against the wall. He took it.

"Are you two coming?" asked a painfully familiar voice from beyond the shelf.

Jesse grit his teeth.

"Haven't heard that voice in years." he replied.

"It's an honor." Moira replied. "I suppose you're going to come shoot me?"

Jesse stepped forward towards the little space between the shelf in the wall. Hanzo stopped him with a hand on his shoulder.

 _'Could be trapped._ ' Hanzo sent.

Jesse supposed that was true. Thinking quickly, Jesse kicked the shelf in front of him as hard as he could muster. With a jolt and a snap, it crashed to the ground, followed by the deafening sound of vile, glasses, and wood beams smashing.

"How eloquent." Moira remarked.

Jesse quickly examined his surrounding. Passed the absolute mess of broken wood and glass on the floor lay a living room-sized clearing, although Jesse suspected the shelf that framed the back wall might be cutting off more space. Every wall was coated in more chemistry equipment, from a shelf full of small bags and jars labeled with every element of the periodic table under the sun and every non-lethal compound Jesse'd heard of, and another stocked with amputated body parts, floating in jars like Jesse'd only seen in cartoons. The room lighting was decent, but like the rest of the facility so far, the aesthetic was black. Smack dab in the center of the room, Moira stood next to a small, raised stone pool of plain-looking water. Her right hand was outstretched, and although she held no gun, one look at the chemical pack over her shoulders read that they were at a stalemate.

"I like to make an entrance." Jesse replied as Hanzo stepped next to him.

Darting her gaze downwards to Jesse's midsection, Moira twisted her face with an almost comical lack of amusement.

"You proceed yourself." she replied.

"What can I say?" Jesse asked. "I'm happy to see you."

"Are you going to kill me?"

Jesse looked down to the barrel of his weapon.

"You could help us." he replied.

Moira's mouth tightened into a line. Her right hand tensed, her long fingers curled like the legs of a dead spider.

"And if I say no?" Moira asked.

"Then let's get to it." Jesse replied.

Eyes squinted almost shut, Moira eyed the both of them with an indescribable look. Hanzo lingered as Jesse stepped over the broken shelf.

In a short gust of air, Moira's body disappeared in what Jesse remembered as a fade. A moment later, he felt a dull pain in his right side, and looked around to see that he'd been locked onto a familiar purple beam of chemicals. He followed the line to see that Moira had gotten behind him, her hand outstretched as she sucked the life from him.

Jesse had never been connected to Moira's beam before. He found it a strange sensation. It wasn't horribly painful, just leaving a dull ache, although he got the feeling he shouldn't stay under it too long. He could already feel his muscles weaken, ever so slightly.

"Alright." Jesse muttered.

Moving his feet in zigzagging, alternating patterns, Jesse pulled the trigger of his gun with a little click and a muffled bang. Bullets flew out in Moira's direction, although none hit her, each instead embedding themselves into the wall or smashing glass containers. Jesse did his best to be sparing with his bullets, but it didn't seem to make much of a difference. She was so small that Jesse didn't have much to hit, and she moved in a well-trained, unpredictable fashion. Despite his efforts, her beam stayed locked on. Had the floor not been covered in glass, Jesse might have rolled.

 _'Could you shoot the chemical pack?'_ Hanzo asked as Jesse continued to wreck up the place.

Hanzo was out of sight. Jesse wasn't sure what Hanzo had planned, although he didn't waste time wondering about it for the present moment.

_'Thing's bullet proof.'_

_'Could I intercept her beam?'_

_'Don't think so. Locks on. I'll be alright, long as I get the job done quick.'_

_'Would you like me to grab her?'_

_'Please. This damn Talon rifle's got shit aim.'_

With a dive out of stealth, Hanzo got his arms around Moira's body, smashing her up against the wall to Jesse's left. Jesse turned to aim, but to his dismay, she immediately faded out from Hanzo's arms.

"Damn it!" Jesse shouted. He turned to once again turn Moira behind him.

Jesse hated everything about machine guns; the small bullets, the constant kickback from continuous firing that was extra punishing with one hand. He much preferred something that he could aim each individual shot with, especially when he was fighting a target that was moving around so much. However, he supposed it wasn't worth thinking about.

Hanzo went in with a swing of the crowbar towards Moira's head, but she faded away again. Jesse watched as Hanzo's crowbar instead crashed into a shelf, breaking a open a box of what looked bamboo segments that clattered to the floor, each a light brown and about six inches long.

 _'Not working._ ' Jesse sent. _'You're more of a friendly fire liability than anything else.'_

With a click, Jesse realized his gun was empty. Furthermore, he started to feel sick to his stomach. His skin itched. Resisting the urge to fall to his knees as Moira's beam became less and less bearable, Jesse loaded in the second and last clip.

 _'Give me the gun._ ' Hanzo said. _'I am better at conserving ammo.'_

Jesse supposed that was true. Between the two of them, Jesse aimed faster, but Hanzo was more accurate.

 _'Sounds like a plan._ ' Jesse replied, tossing the gun to Hanzo.

Hanzo caught it. At first, Jesse felt a wave of relief as Moira's beam left him, the pain subsiding. However, the relief was replaced with worry as the beam locked on to Hanzo.

Jesse sank to his knees and crawled to one of the shelves framing the walls, knowing there wasn't much he could do. He watched as both Hanzo and Moira moved their feet in unpredictable patterns as an attempt to dodge each other, the beam twisting around to stay on Hanzo as he fired, more conservatively than Jesse had. There was something strangely elegant to it, like they were engaged in some sort of ritual.

 _'I have hit a few shots, but she appears to be absorbing them._ ' Hanzo sent.

_'Yeah. She does that.'_

Hanzo didn't reply. Too anxious to continue watching Hanzo's life on the line, Jesse eyed the contents of the shelf behind him. He realized he was at the shelf of elements, both periodic and compounds that he'd seen before. Most of them were in small, labeled white sacks, but some were held in bottles or glass jars. A large hole had been blown through the center of the shelf from crossfire, revealing the wall behind and maybe a foot and a half of space.

_'It appears we either need to force her to stop moving, or fire a projectile of a larger size.'_

Fading away again before Hanzo could line up a good shot, Moira disappeared and reappeared to the other side of the room with a tiny gust of air that sent one of the spilled bamboo tubes on the floor rolling. It stopped next to Jesse's foot.

Jesse eyed the light razor, still on his finger. His eyes raised sharply as an idea began to form.

"Thicker bullet, huh?" Jesse mumbled, grabbing the bamboo tube. Quick as he could, he scanned the bags on the shelf until he found the ones labeled as sulfur, carbon, chromium, potassium nitrate, zinc, ammonium nitrate, and a small squeeze bottle of hydrochloric acid.

Bringing the stuff he'd found with him, Jesse made himself small and crawled through the hole, wanting to stay both hidden and undistracted. He curled up against the wall and got to work.

_'I'll be out of sight for a moment, but I'm still here, alright sweetheart?'_

_'I apologize for begging, but please be fast.'_

_'How's it going out there?'_ Jesse asked, blocking off one end of the bamboo shoot with torn fabric from one of the emptied white bags that he'd coated in ammonium nitrate and zinc powder.

_'She is chasing me as I loop in and out of her quarters. I am only able to disconnect myself from the beam by putting myself in places where I cannot target her. I'm making no progress, and I am slowly being cooked.'_

_'Can you hold her off for fifty-two seconds?'_

_'We shall see.'_

Jesse sprinkled in measured amounts of sulfur, carbon, and potassium nitrate into the tube. Next, he used the light razor to cut a sizable chunk from the slab of chrome, loading it down the barrel of the bamboo tube. Cutting a hole through the bottom-rear of the tube, Jesse jammed the squeeze bottle of hydrochloric acid in as his trigger.

Even with one hand, he'd managed to do it all under a minute. As he crawled out of the hole, Jesse thanked his quick mind, quick hands, and the three year period when federal law had rendered firearms illegal in New Mexico.

Back into the open, Jesse surveyed his surroundings as he advanced with his homemade gun outstretched. Moira was near the center of the room, sucking the life out of Hanzo, who had fallen to the floor. To Jesse's anxious relief, Hanzo's body shifted, indicating that he was still at least a little alive.

"Let me interrupt." Jesse said.

Moira looked up from Hanzo to eye him and his gun with something more akin to confusion than fear. Thankfully, she removed the beam from Hanzo and applied it back to Jesse.

Jesse held the canon close to his face, lining up his sight with the barrel. His pointer and middle finger rested utop the barrel while his thumb, ring, and little finger rested on either side of the squeeze bottle. On instinct, he put his feet back on their strafing auto-pilot, resuming his dance with Moira.

_'Wait, don't shoot yet.'_

Jesse looked over in surprise to see that Hanzo's eyes were open and turned towards him.

 _'You better have a pretty good reason._ ' Jesse replied.

_'I have just realized, we are unforgivable idiots. She harms you at the same speed regardless of whether you're moving or standing still. Stop moving for a better shot.'_

Jesse's eyes opened wide with realization. All this time, they'd been trying to get her to stop moving when they were the ones who should have stopped.

"I'm a goddamn moron." Jesse mumbled as he ran at Moira.

Moira took the bait and faded away. Jesse found her behind him. Going against all instinct, Jesse grounded his feet, lined up the shot, squeezed the bottle, and prayed.

For a solid second of unadulterated anxiety, nothing happened. Jesse grit his teeth and continued to track Moira with the barrel, a task that proved itself significantly easier with static feet. Finally, the barrel exploded.

Jesse's world turned black and hot as smoke erupted in his face.

He dropped the gun and shook his head. When his vision cleared, he saw the most satisfying sight he'd ever laid eyes on; Moira O'Deorain on her back, blood pouring from her shoulder. As he advanced on her, Jesse pinched the ends of his bangs, noting that they had caught fire. Furthermore, he could feel that small patches of his beard has been blown off in the blast.

Moira made a pathetic noise as Jesse lifted her torso and stripped her of her chemical pack.

"You won't win." she said weakly.

"Think I already did."

"Against me, perhaps. But you won't win against him."

Jesse eyed Moira with confusion. Despite her years of disdain for him, her words sounded like more of a genuine warning than a threat.

"You want him dead." Jesse realized.

"What I want doesn't matter anymore." Moira replied, her eyes darting back and forth with unmistakable paranoia.

"We could take him down. You could help us."

"It wouldn't make a difference. If I aid you or if I do not. He will burn you."

"Now, that ain't no way to look at it. Help us anyway."

Moira's eyes fell closed moment as she actually seemed to consider Jesse's request. Jesse looked over at Hanzo to make sure his chest was still rising and falling.

"I never knew you liked chemistry, McCree." she said.

"Huh?"

"My room, medicine cabinet. Yellow. Don't tell him we spoke. I believe I deserve that."

With a cool gust of air, Moira faded away. Jesse looked around, but she appeared to have left the room. Jesse got the feeling that they wouldn't be running into each other again.

Tired and pained as Jesse was, he traveled to Hanzo's side as quickly as he could and gave him a shake. Hanzo's eyes opened, although weakly.

"The dragon needs more cocaine." Hanzo muttered.

"Where'd you put it?"

"Back inside me."

"...Can you get it?"

"Fine."

"Thanks. Gimme a minute, I'll be right back."

While Hanzo groaned and got to work on retrieving the cocaine, Jesse took the short walk to Moira's quarters. He opened the door and stepped in.

Moira's quarters were small, grey, clean, and almost completely undecorated. She clearly didn't spend most of her time in them, possibly only entering to sleep in a standard-looking cot. She had three posters; one of Einstein, one of Madam Curie, and the last of Naruto Uzumaki. Near her closet of lab coats, there were a few photos of herself with people Jesse mostly didn't recognize, although she did have one from Blackwatch that he and Genji were in. If Jesse thought back, he found he had a distant memory of the photo being taken.

Jesse was surprised Moira had kept it.

On the nightstand, a journal was open. Jesse only read the page because he'd caught sight of the word "Gabriel".

_May 10th--We've captured two Overwatch agents, Jesse McCree and Genji Shimada's brother. Talon will begin the brainwashing process tomorrow. McCree has given us the Overwatch base coordinates._

_May 9th--Recent tests show that Gabriel has become increasingly resistant to physical harm, be it projectile or corrosive substance. However, his mental condition continues to worsen despite my constant attempts to rehabilitate him._

_May 8th--Gabriel is still acting violent, suicidal, and actively nihilistic._

_May 7th--Gabriel no longer sleeps. I am beginning to fear for my life._

There was nothing else written on the page. Jesse resisted the urge to flip through the rest, knowing that they didn't have much time.

Inside the cabinet Moira had spoken about, Jesse found, amidst the skin care products, a clear glass vial that looked like it held maybe a cup of yellow liquid. It was labeled "emergency first aid".

Jesse touched the liquid with his finger. To his surprise, the effects were immediate as the dull, tired ache left in his body from Moira's beam began to subside. After a short moment of bliss, he pulled his finger out to find that maybe a tablespoon of the liquid was gone, probably absorbed into his skin.

Leaving Moira's room, Jesse found Hanzo scrubbing a coke-covered finger into his gums.

"Got you something better." Jesse said, dumping out the yellow vial onto Hanzo's chest.

Hanzo looked concerned for only a short moment before closing his eyes and sighing with pleasure. Jesse watched in amazement as the bruises and cuts in Hanzo's skin began to heal before his eyes. It didn't do anything crazy like regrow his hand or nose, but the deep red burns on his empty wrist turned back into the usual peach of his skin.

"What is that?" Hanzo asked. "It feels different than Doctor Ziegler's technology."

"Not sure. She never talked to me about her work." Jesse replied. "Can you spare another hit? I ain't ready to come down."

"As you wish."

Hanzo handed him a pinch of white powder, which Jesse cupped and snorted. Energetic, he helped Hanzo to his feet.

"I feel I should be surprised you know how to construct a functioning hand cannon, but at the same time, I am not." Hanzo said.

"None taken. You wanna search this place while I make a few more?"

"An efficient plan."

Jesse grabbed some bamboo tubes and got to work while Hanzo began to move in a grid like fashion between the shelves.

"I've been meaning to ask." Hanzo said as searched. "About your Lovecraft speech."

"My what?" asked Jesse.

"The speech you gave before we entered this room. About your fear of witnessing some sort of unfathomable horror to drive us dually into madness.

"Oh yeah, that."

"There was an authentic terror in your voice."

"Well, yeah. I was in a dark room. And I read a bunch a' cosmic horror when you dumped me."

Hanzo made a tiny noise of intrigue.

"Huh." he replied. "You went a very different route than I."

"What did you do?"

Hanzo didn't answer. Jesse looked up from his work to take a glance at Hanzo's face but found that he'd turned his head away.

"What?" Jesse asked again.

"I--I watched every episode of the Big Bang Theory."

Jesse burst into laughter, almost knocking over the cannon he was working on.

"I am ashamed." Hanzo followed.

"Pointless frivolity, huh?"

"I suppose it had a place for me."

"What was it like? Was it bad?"

"It was...numbing. I don't wish to speak of it."

Jesse chuckled once more to himself as he finished with his project. He'd made two guns, both to be activated with the hydrochloric acid. Once he'd finished, he put the light razor in the front pocket of his shirt.

"Here." Hanzo said, dumping a plain-looking leather backpack, a spool of masking tape, and a box of matches in front of Jesse.

"Thank you kindly."

"And this."

Hanzo held out a poptart. Jesse took it.

It was peanut butter flavor. Not usually Jesse's favorite, but he ate it anyway. As for the backpack, he tossed it over his shoulders after putting the matches inside. Carefully, Jesse attached one of the hand cannons to the right strap of the pack with the masking tape, as well as the hydrochloric acid. He also used the tape to cover the holes in the hand cannons so that they wouldn't spill out their powder.

"You want a gun?" Jesse asked, holding out the other hand canon he'd made.

"That's alright." Hanzo replied, picking up the crow bar. "I can only carry one weapon, and I believe I will fair better with this."

"Suit yourself. Never took you for a crowbar kinda guy."

"Trust me. This crowbar will soon become my entire personality."

Jesse snickered as he taped the other hand cannon to his backpack. Hanzo joined him. Although Jesse would have rather been in this mess with someone who's life he worried for a little less, a significant part of him was glad that he was with Hanzo.

They were about to advance forward into the hallway when Jesse's nose picked up on a bitter, wonderful sent.

"Hold on." Jesse said, putting a hand on Hanzo's shoulder. "My alarm's goin' off."

"What alarm? Your whiskey alarm?"

"Very same."

Following his nose, Jesse took a tiny detour to where they'd entered the room and found his culprit under the first shelf he'd kicked down; several bottles of high-proof, long-aged whiskey. Most of them were smashed, proving the smell, but a few seemed perfectly intact.

"O'Deorain knew how to party." Jesse remarked, sliding two bottles into his backpack.

"Do you truly need those?"

"Hundred and fourteen proof? Would be a sin to leave 'em."

"What do you plan to do with them?"

Walking back to the center of the room, Jesse snaked his hand around Hanzo's waist and pulled him in with an ash-covered smile.

"After you and me bust outta this joint," he started, keeping his tone low, "we're gonna go on a date with some whiskey."

To Jesse surprise, Hanzo smiled.

"Are we?" he asked.

"Reckon we are. Then, we're gonna make real sloppy drunk love.

"You don't wish to wait until my nose is fixed?"

"Hey, you're making it work. And then we're gonna watch Lord of the Rings."

"Extended edition?"

"Course. Although I do wanna warn you that I am gonna cry."

Hanzo was smiling bright as he exited Jesse's grasp. Grabbing Jesse's wrist, he brought them to the doorway.

The door was grey and metallic, like any door Jesse would have encountered at Watchpoint. It slid open when Jesse touched it to reveal another black stone hallway, almost three times wider and curved at less of an extreme than the last one they'd been in. Seeing no guards, they both set out at an easy, quiet pace. Jesse kept his eyes and ears peeled.

 _'You ever read that stuff?'_ Jesse sent as they walked.

_'Which stuff?'_

_'Lovecraft. Or any of those cosmic horror guys.'_

_'A few times. I never found it to be particularly traumatizing.'_

_'Really now? Seems like the only thing in the world that would do it for you.'_

_'I fail to find the core concept frightening, simply because I feel it lacks realism.'_

_'What do you mean?'_

_'There is much we don't understand about the cosmos, but what I can tell you is that it simply isn't old enough to be hiding some creature of unfathomable horror, nor is it irrational enough to be driven by an intentionally malice system of laws. It's just hydrogen. It's just numbers.'_

It was strangely timed considering the high and real stakes they were dealing with, but Jesse felt a wave of relief at Hanzo's words at the thought that not everything was possible.

 _'Oh. Thank you._ ' Jesse replied.

_'If the human race is ever forced to be confronted with some sort of Lovecraftian abomination, it will be one of our own creation.'_

_'Hey, Hanzo?'_

_'Yes?'_

_'Do you remember that conversation we had about thinking how the things we want to say might affect others before we say them?'_

_'Which one?'_

Suddenly endeared, Jesse waved it away.

They were just about to pass by the door to a building Jesse remembered as being the range when he heard voices. However, before either of them could come up with any sort of plan, the door swung open.

Two talon soldiers walked out, one male and one female, weapons at their sides.

They lacked both urgency and armor, so Jesse assumed they had just been practicing at the range with the long sniper rifles they had strapped to their backs. That was a good thing, as it meant that neither Moira or the guard they'd taken out before had set off any sort of alarm. As luck would have it, they took a left as they exited the range, not even noticing the two of them. Although he and Hanzo both stayed perfectly still, Jesse was surprised, considering how badly they must have smelled.

"...sure is happy about McCree getting captured. Don't think I've ever seen him so worked up." the female soldier said to the male.

_'We must deal with these two. Even if they never manage to spot us, the fact that they are traveling in the direction we wish to be will slow us down.'_

"I've heard they go way back. I think he and O'Deorain worked with Overwatch."

_'Sounds good. You wanna call the shots?'_

_'Yes. I will attack. You will be my backup.'_

"Jack Morrison is sure in for a surprise."

_'You sure that’s what you want?'_

_'I’ll be fine. I have my silence.'_

Jesse watched as Hanzo crept up on the two guards, swift but noiseless. Jesse wasn't particularly intimidated, as he knew Hanzo could handle this fine. Still, he stayed close behind, trying not to make any noise.

Hanzo was just a foot behind them when one of the guards, the woman, began to turn her head with suspicion. However, she didn't get very far as a crowbar came down sharply against the side of her head.

She fell to the ground with a wet slump. The other soldier whirled around on his feet, passing his fallen friend a quick glance before spotting Hanzo. Hanzo lifted the crowbar again. Stripping the gun off his back, the soldier tried to shoot Hanzo down with his sniper rifle.

Beginner's mistake. He missed by a long shot. Snipers were trash at close range, and Talon obviously needed to train its soldiers better. Jesse winced as Hanzo's crowbar crashed into the man's skull.

Although Jesse thought Hanzo was very pretty, he didn't envy anyone who had to get an eyeful of an angry, noseless ex-Yakuza boss in his underwear, followed by the side of a crowbar.

 _'Mighty good job there, freeman._ ' Jesse sent as Hanzo looked back at him. _'Guess you didn't need my help after all.'_

 _'Bazinga._ ' Hanzo replied.

Almost choking on his saliva, Jesse did his best not to cough as he processed what Hanzo had just said. With a tiny smile on his face, Hanzo touched one of the guard's guns.

_'Please don't say that.'_

_'These guns are two-handed._ ' Hanzo replied, ignoring him. _'They seem more trouble than they're worth.'_

_'I’m with you.'_

Jesse did his best not to examine the soldier's bodies as he walked passed them or spend too much time wondering if they were still alive. Hanzo, on the other hand, eyed their wounds with interest.

 _'I have always wondered if it renders me a sociopath to appreciate the art of murder._ ' Hanzo remarked as they took off.

_'Depends. You ever killed someone for fun?'_

_'No.'_

_'Which do you think is more elegant, a quick death or a painless death?'_

_'Painless. Although I may enjoy the thrill of victory, I have never particularly enjoyed watching others experience pain.'_

_'Alright.'_

_'So?'_

_'So what?'_

_'Am I a sociopath?'_

_'I dunno the criteria. What do I look like, a shrink?'_

Hanzo covered his mouth, stiffing a chuckle. Jesse smiled.

_‘I suppose, like far too many things, it is dependant on semantics.’_

_‘Well then, why don’t you tell me how you’re defining it?’_

_‘Apathetic. Low anxiety. Arrogance. Somewhat lacking touch with my emotions.’_

_‘To be perfectly honest with you, I reckon you got to be those things when you come from a family like yours.’_

_‘Killers?’_

_‘No. Oligarchs.’_

Hanzo scoffed in silence. Jesse grinned.

_‘My brother is not. Apathetic, I mean.’_

_‘Yeah, well, I dunno. Though I think an upbringing can help, sometimes I wonder if when it comes to you, you’ve always had a little piece of something missing in your head.’_

_‘You wound me.’_

_‘I do no such thing, sweetheart. I didn’t say it was a bad thing. You gotta look at the whole picture. I like your brain a lot.’_

_‘I suppose I do as well.’_

_‘Emotions are nice and all, but they’re damn old. Think they’re a bit over-consulted, if you ask me. Especially when it comes to morality.’_

_‘You have never spoken something more truthful.’_

As they rounded passed the kitchen, Jesse resisted the urge to walk with his hand on Hanzo’s back. For a moment, he’d forgotten about the job they had to do.

 _'Jesse?'_ Hanzo asked.

_'Yeah?'_

_'Just in case we do not make it out, there is something I'd like to say.'_

_'What you got for me?'_

_'I've wanted to voice this thought for a long time. You remember when you told me part of the reason you try to do good by the world because you feel regretful towards the gang you were in?'_

Jesse's frown faltered as a wave of old guilt hit him.

 _'Yeah._ ' he replied. _'I do. What did you wanna say about it?'_

_'That I find it to be a horrendously stupid complex.'_

Jesse almost choked on his spit.

 _'So what, you dealt in weapon trafficking. You were economically disenfranchised, what else were you supposed to do?'_ Hanzo followed.

 _'Hey now, I ain't some stereotype._ ' Jesse replied, feeling himself smile.

_'Stop feeling bad about your childhood gang. It's foolish. If kingpins want to sell guns, they'll find someone to buy from. There's an infinite supply.'_

_'That don't make it right!'_

_'Oh, look at me. I started a gang so that I didn't have to live like podunk shit. I've committed moderate amounts of blue collar crime.’_

_'Hey, we blurred the lines.'_

_'Shut up. You are the kindest person I've ever met.'_

"Having fun?"

Jesse nearly jumped at the sound of a new voice. A woman's. One he'd heard before, although only briefly. He looked around, but saw no one. At least, not until she flicked into existence, just a few feet in front of them.

 _'Sombra._ ' Hanzo sent, just in case Jesse didn't know.

Jesse looked her up and down. On her body, she was wearing the same purple coat and spandex that she'd had on in the interrogation session, but now, to Jesse's immense confusion, she was also decked out in his hat.

"The hell?" Jesse said aloud.

Sombra didn't reply. Jesse realized with another little start that she also had his gun, arm, rounds, and Hanzo's bow and quiver strapped to her back.

Despite the fact that Sombra was an undeniably powerful person, far more than the both of them at the moment, Jesse couldn't manage to feel particularly afraid. He was more confused than anything else, although he had a suspicion as to where this was going.

"You two are doing well." she said.

"Is that about to change?" Jesse asked.

"Depends, amigo."

Sombra took a few steps towards the two of them, her gaze shifting between them.

"I have nothing to lose from your capture." she admitted. "Truthfully, Gabe has not been much fun recently. I'll admit that I'd be pleased to watch him cry over your heroic escape."

Sombra grabbed the Peacekeeper form Jesse's hostler and gave it a little wave.

Jesse looked at Hanzo, who's expression was one of mild intrigue. Cautiously, Jesse took a single step forward, but Sombra immediately whipped the gun out of sight. Jesse wasn't surprised, as he hadn't expected it to be that easy.

"Still," Sombra continued. "I would like our business to be a profitable arrangement."

"What do you want?" asked Hanzo.

 _'Hey, now, be considerate. Sweet talk her a little._ ' Jesse sent, stepping on Hanzo's toes.

"What do you have?" Sombra asked.

_'I am being considerate. Why would she want her time to be wasted with your nonsense?’_

"Got some whiskey." Jesse replied. "Lady like you might appreciate that."

"Don't waste my time. Do you have information?"

"About who?" Hanzo asked.

"Someone important. I would also accept money."

 _'Any ideas?'_ Jesse sent. _'I'm poor and don't know shit.'_

"That, or, oral sex." Sombra finished, giving Jesse an eye.

Jesse blushed and coughed. Hanzo seemed unaffected.

_'This lady watches us get interrogated and then wants…’_

_'Are you going to do it? I suggest you wash your face first.'_

' _Are you crazy?'_

_'No. You are crazy. She's clearly just trying to make you uncomfortable. Although to be honest, if we were in a different location and situation, I would pay some amount of money to watch that happen.'_

_'Why would you say that?'_ Jesse pleaded.

"You know I can hear you, right?"

Jesse rubbed the back of his head as his flush deepened. At the very least, it probably wasn't noticeable under all the soot.

"By exploiting the algorithms behind any number of social media sites and hiring a large number of freelance writers," Hanzo offered, "I could utilize a low-cost, quantity-over-quality business model content farm and make you millions."

"You could do what now?" Jesse asked, not sure what Hanzo had said but yet still somehow morally opposed to the idea.

"It's not wealth that I need. I'm not your charity case, trust me. What I need is cash." Sombra replied.

"Why do you need cash?" Hanzo asked.

"The vending machine in the kitchen. It sells those little Hostess cupcakes? The ones with the cream in the middle."

"You're kidding." said Jesse.

"But the problem is," Sombra continued, frowning and stomping her foot, "no one has cash anymore. All of my money is electronic."

"Have you considered simply buying Hostess stock?" Hanzo asked. Jesse rubbed his temple.

"Do you have cash or not?"

"Reckon I might." Jesse replied, remembering the money he'd picked off the guard in the science lab.

"How much?"

"Forty dollars, or anything equivalent. Per item."

"Insulting." Hanzo replied before Jesse could groan. "Ten."

Jesse was about to step on Hanzo's toes against when Hanzo shot him a little look.

"Oh." Jesse mumbled, understanding.

Jesse had attended business deals before. He'd even bargained a few times in his life, with mob bosses and shop owners. However, never before had he seen a negotiation so thorough as the one Hanzo and Sombra launched into about cash for cupcakes and freedom.

 _'She's not going to go lower than twenty._ ' Hanzo sent as he spoke to Sombra.

_'I only got twenty dollars.’_

_'Choose wisely.'_

"He's right" said Sombra. "Twenty dollars."

Jesse looked at the contents of Sombra's arms. After a half-minute long debate between his gun and his arm, he opened his mouth.

"Gimme my gun." he said.

Sombra tossed the bullets to him but kept the gun at her side.

"I'll leave it before I go." she explained. "I don't want you to shoot me."

Ignoring the absurdity, Jesse reached into the front pocket of his shirt to pull out the twenty dollar bill. However, in a lucky turn of events, his fingers brushed against something else as well.

"Wait." Jesse said, tossing the twenty on the ground. "I think I have..."

Jesse pulled out forty-thousand won. He didn't remember how he'd gotten the money, although he supposed it didn't matter.

"You said you'd take something equivalent, right?" Jesse followed.

"I did. How much is that? Forty thousand?"

"Yeah."

"Felicidades. You get two more things."

"I'll take my arm. And my ha--"

Jesse cut himself off as Hanzo shot him a look.

"Fine." said Jesse. "I guess I'll take the bow."

While Jesse kicked the money forward, Sombra slid them his arm and Hanzo's bow. After she'd finished, she picked up the money while Jesse reattached his arm with a pleasant sigh. He gave an experimental punch.

"Pleasure working with you, McCree." she replied. "If that is your real name."

Had Jesse been in a different situation, one where he had more power, he might have snapped at her. At the moment, however, he was too busy thinking about his hat.

"Wait, one more thing." she followed, turning to the both of them with a wicked smile.

"Yes?" Hanzo asked.

"Just to make sure Gabe still thinks I'm doing my job..."

Hitting a panel on the wall that Jesse hadn't even noticed before, a sharp buzzer sounded out. It wasn't screamingly loud, but Jesse got the suspicion that everyone was going to hear it, regardless.

"Damn it!" Jesse shouted, but it was too late. She was gone.

At the very least, she'd left his gun like she'd promised. Jesse walked forward and grabbed it. He found that it was unharmed, the fresh round he'd left in it still in the chamber. Jesse picked up the strap of bullets from the floor and fastened them around his waist.

"I have found another map." Hanzo said. Jesse turned to see that he was eyeing the wall opposite to Jesse.

"What's it say?" asked Jesse.

"That we are about to make fools of six Talon soldiers."

Jesse grinned.

"And Reyes will be joining them, although belated."

Jesse stopped grinning.

"Let's get this over with." Jesse said, taking a look at his gun.

Everything seemed to be in order. He had a full round in the barrel, just like when he'd left it. Plus the two rounds in the strap, he had eighteen in total.

"Sombra and Moira have both left the map." Hanzo noted. "I suspect they're either in a joining facility, or have gone to the surface."

"What direction are the troops coming from?"

"Counter clockwise around the spiral. Towards us, from our perspective."

"And Reyes?"

"Same way. But distantly."

"Why would he do that? Wouldn't he want to attack us with his troops?"

"I don't know. We hardly have time to question it."

Jesse thought back to the shape of the map from before and the slow curve of the hallway they were in. Suddenly, he got an idea.

"Wait a minute. Wait." said Jesse.

"What?"

"Can't you like, summon dragons or some shit?"

Hanzo lifted his arms. Jesse's gaze fell to the stump that was Hanzo's right hand.

"Point taken." Jesse followed.

Jesse was just about to continue on his way forward when he noticed Hanzo's face was twisted in thought. Jesse raised an eyebrow.

"Perhaps...no." Hanzo started.

"What?"

"Perhaps I could...channel them through you."

Jesse didn't pretend to understand the rules of the Shimada dragons, nor did he particularly care. What he was more curious about was why Hanzo suddenly looked so embarrassed.

"How would we do that?" Jesse asked.

"If you fired the bow, while we were under the influence of a connection, I may be able to pass them through you."

"How long do we have?"

"From the rate they were moving? Just less than a minute."

"Then let's get to it."

Jesse took the bow from the floor. Awkwardly, he grabbed an arrow from the quiver and loaded it as best he could. Hanzo grabbed the quiver from the ground and strung it over his back.

"Point it that way." Hanzo said, giving a direction. "Fire when I tell you to."

"Alright."

"Now I will, um."

"Hmm?"

Hanzo slotted himself against Jesse's left side. It took Jesse just a moment too long to realize he was being embraced. He resisted the urge to close his eyes when Hanzo nuzzled a hot face into the crook of his neck.

Jesse examined the bow in his hands. He'd held it a few times before, only when retrieving it for Hanzo. He was always surprised to remember just how big it was, over half his height. Now, especially as he drew back the string, he realized how much raw power it had. Far more than a pistol. It was an old, simple technology, but that somehow only made it seem all the more effective, especially considering how long it had stuck around. Hanzo stayed tight to Jesse's left to give him full reign of the bow.

"I love you." Jesse mumbled, heart fluttering.

"Daisuki da yo."

All at once, Jesse felt a kernel of warmth ignite in his heart and spread all through his chest. It was a beautiful warmth, one filled with Hanzo's deep affection for him and his deep affection for Hanzo. Although it was as familiar as every other hug or gesture they'd shared, there was something new about it. It was the first one that lacked deniability. The first one with true vulnerability.

The magical feeling still running through him, Jesse did his best to pull back the bow string. It was an incredibly difficult task, as Hanzo's bow quickly proved itself to be one hell of an adversary. Jesse developed a new respect for Hanzo's sheer strength. Although Jesse gave Hanzo a lot of shit about how much he trained, Jesse knew that it wasn't just vanity that drove Hanzo to do it. He grit his teeth, trying to find his strength in his core.

Jesse heard the first sound of footsteps coming towards them, but he held on, the bowstring back as far as he could manage as his hands began to shake from physical stress.

 _"Ryū ga waga teki wo kurau!"_ Hanzo shouted, hanging tight to Jesse in his arms.

Hot, blue power surged through Jesse. In the corner of his eye, he caught the eye of Hanzo's tattoo glowing, the blue light from the dragons seeping into his own hands. Quickly, Jesse released the arrow.

"Whoops." Jesse said as the arrow sailed towards the ground, landing only a few feet in front of them.

The dragons erupted from the bow. Jesse tried to hold the storm bow upright, but it was too late. His lack of upper-body strength had failed him. The dragons slowly chased the ground in the same direction of the arrow, at about a forty-five degree downwards angle. They fazed through the floor, almost like it wasn't there at all. Because their slope was so great, Jesse couldn't see much detail of the dragons. They ended up looking more like a large, sideways pillar of twisting blue light.

Jesse wondered how far they would go into the earth.

 _'I suppose they are China's problem now._ ' Hanzo sent, walking into the heart of the dragons. He crouched, out of sight.

Jesse was only confused at Hanzo's actions for a short moment before he realized that he was using the dragons as cover as they continued to spill out from nothing.

 _'Yeah, well, let's hope they don't hit nobody important._ ' Jesse replied, following Hanzo inside as he readied his gun and dropped into a squat.

It was a strange world inside the dragons. Everything Jesse could see was a bright blue. He almost felt like he was in a storm, although he felt no rain or chill. It was one of the stranger things Jesse had experienced, but at the same time, it wasn't. Furthermore, he felt like his heart should be pounding from the knowledge that they were about to enter a blood bath, but his chest was still. It was like the dragons were giving him some sense of peace.

_'I'd have expected an important person would be the only one you'd be comfortable with them consuming.'_

_'Either way, ain't that your deepest fantasy?'_

_ 'Go to hell.' _

"What the fuck is that thing?" a male guard shouted from beyond the dragons.

"Probably another one of O'Deorain's science experiments." a woman replied. "Just go around. And don't touch it."

 _'Do you think we could avoid the whole fight in here?’_ Jesse asked. _'We could make a break for it after the guards pass us.'_

_'No. Unfortunately, the dragons are of a finite length. But these soldiers will be in for a surprise.'_

_'You going stealth?'_

_'I suppose that would be better.'_

The troops had just passed by, a foot or two, when the dragons began to fizzle out. Instead of forwards, Jesse jumped backwards, wanting to get himself at a good range. Hanzo made himself small and snuck off, crowbar across his back.

"Hands up." Jesse said, cocking his gun.

All six guards whirled around to see him just a few feet away, smoke coming off his shoulders. Their hands immediately rose into the air.

Jesse eyed the guards quickly. They all looked like any low-ranking Talon soldiers Jesse had been dealing with for the past twenty years. Four men, two women, all dressed in black. Although they outnumbered him greatly, the fear under their visors gave Jesse more than enough confidence. In his peripheral vision, he caught sight of Hanzo sneaking by them, silently as ever.

"Now." Jesse started, letting himself smile. "How would you all feel about continuing on your way?"

None of them answered. Two of them drifted their gazes downwards towards the waistband of his boxers. Jesse continued to watch for any sign of movement or communication. With six against one, they could easily try to all draw and shoot at the same time provided they had the coordination, taking Jesse out easy.

"Ya'll hard a' hearing?" Jesse followed. "I said--"

One of the guards reached for his gun. Cutting himself off, Jesse shot him in the chest. He fell to the ground immediately with a clunk. Jesse didn't waste time wondering if he was alive.

In unison, three more guards reached for their guns. One on the far right, one of the far left, and the one in the dead center.

 _'Your right._ ' Hanzo sent.

When Hanzo called out targets in battle, he always called out the ones he was taking out. Quick as he could, Jesse shot the leftmost soldier that was reaching for her weapon before her fingers could even touch it. Before the other two could get him, Jesse rolled to the left and took out the center-most, whose gun had just come into the air. After that, Jesse might have been toast to the last soldier that had gone for his weapon, had Hanzo not have brought his crowbar down on his head.

The last two guards took off running. Jesse didn't blame them. He even felt a little bad as he shot them both in the ass.

They might even live.

 _'This was....efficient._ ' Hanzo sent with amazement as he rid his crowbar victim of her gun. He put his crowbar inside his quiver, taking the submachine gun instead. Silently, he walked back over to the map. Jesse followed.

_'Low level troops tend to go out that way.'_

_'How many troops were in the facility when we started?'_

_'Fourteen._ ' Jesse replied, counting in his head. _'We've taken out nine, so there should be five left.'_

_'Strange. There are only two accounted for on the map. The rest must have retreated.'_

_'Does anyone have any damn loyalty in this place? Guess we got our work cut out for us.'_

_'We should not become too cocky. Reyes draws near.'_

Quickly, Jesse checked the map as he reloaded his gun. His hands began to shake when the Reyes dot rounded the corner.

 _'I want you to hide yourself while I deal with this guy._ ’ Jesse sent, gritting his teeth as Hanzo took a few steps forward, his gaze turned towards where Reyes was coming from.

Jesse could even hear the footsteps. He cocked his gun, wanting to take no chances.

_'I will do no such thing.'_

_'You don't got a ranged weapon. You get close to him, he'll blast you down in one shot.'_

_'I will not let you face him alone. He is slow, I will stay behind him.'_

_'Please._ ' Jesse begged.

Turning around to face him, Hanzo's eyes were soft. However, without warning, his mouth quickly opened wide with raw horror.

"Duck!" Hanzo yelled.

Jesse dove to the floor, beating the thick crack of a shotgun by a quarter of a second.

He'd forgotten Reyes could teleport.

Before he could get up, Jesse felt a strong foot come down on his back, knocking the wind out of him. Eyes like dinner plates, Jesse turned his neck in terror to see two shotguns pointed at his head. Jesse's gaze panned higher to see Reyes' face, hidden behind a long-nosed plague mask.

 _'My left._ ' Hanzo sent. _'Gun. At end of message.'_

"Any last--"

Reyes was cut off as Jesse flicked his wrist from underneath himself and shot the shotgun to his right, straight down the barrel at the same time as Hanzo began to fire his submachine gun. Considering that Hanzo'd had to count in his head after sending his message, they moved an eighth of a second out of sync, but luckily, Reyes was too slow to fire either of his shots.

The bullet from the Peacekeeper traveled up through Reyes' shotgun, breaking it in two before embedding itself in Reyes' shoulder. Hanzo's bullet spray hit the other gun, turning it into toast.

"Fucker." Reyes growled, dropping his trashed shotguns.

"Serves you right for using trash." Jesse replied, shooting Reyes in the stomach.

Reyes continued to advance, giving no indication that he'd even noticed the bullet. Heart pumping faster, Jesse shot again, but it did nothing to stop him, feeding Jesse's growing sense of dread.

"Bullets don't work." Reyes said, grabbing Jesse by the legs. "Trust me, I've tried."

Jesse yelped as Reyes grabbed him by the ankles and began to drag his body around the floor, the hard glass whiskey bottles digging uncomfortably into his shoulder blades. On his back, he got a warped perspective as Hanzo dumped his gun and pulled the crowbar back out from his quiver. Jesse had just enough sense to process they he was being dragged the direction he'd come from.

"I want to thank you, McCree." Reyes growled. "For taking down my guards. I sent you the ones I didn't like."

 _"Akuma!"_ Hanzo shouted, charging forward.

Considering Reyes had Jesse in tow, Hanzo was faster. Jesse felt a mild jolt go through him as Hanzo brought the crowbar down on Reyes' head.

Reyes didn't even give a sign that he'd registered the hit. Hanzo jumped over Reyes' shoulders, but Reyes held on even as Hanzo started to hammer at him with the most intense expression Jesse had ever seen in his eyes. Wanting to hang onto it, Jesse holstered his gun. Jesse flailed in a desperate attempt to rid himself of the hold, having no intention of finding out where Reyes was taking him. Jesse yelped as Reyes straightened up all the way, elevating Jesse's lower body.

"I'll beat you both--to death if I have to." Reyes threatened. "Stop moving."

_'We need to slow him down.'_

_'He ain't responding to any force. I got no idea what he's made of anymore.'_

_'I have an idea.'_

_'What?'_

_'When I tell you to, I need you to grab on to him and keep him in place. Keep him from turning.'_

Jesse wasn't sure how he was going to do that. Wanting to figure out what Hanzo was doing, Jesse did his best to track him as his own head bobbed against the floor. He watched as Hanzo scurried around and up Reyes' back, getting his thighs around Reyes' neck with his calves locked against Reyes' chest. Tightening his core, Jesse's muscles screamed as he folded himself onto his butt. Grabbing onto Reyes' sides, he scooted himself forward, but Reyes still struggled, trying to pull away from the thighs that had locked around his neck.

A jolt went through Jesse as they all came to a sudden halt. Jesse looked up to see Hanzo, wincing hard, hand wrapped around one of the overhead lights on the ceiling and body curled in on itself in a tight little ball. Even as Reyes tried to walk backwards and stretch Hanzo's body out like a string, Hanzo stayed put.

_'Now, Jesse!'_

Jesse needed traction. When Reyes removed his hands from Jesse in an attempt to swat Hanzo off him, Jesse swung his legs to the left, threading under his own hands to twist onto his stomach. Fingers still buried in the fabric of Reyes' jacket, Jesse dug his spurs into the wall.

_'Twist him. Clockwise. Soon, please.'_

Digging his boots into the ground in an attempt to gain as much height and friction as he could, Jesse yanked at the left side of Reyes' coat. For a moment, Reyes refused to budge, at least until Jesse locked his metal hand and wiped his gun out with his other to shoot Reyes in the right kneecap. The bullet sunk and Reyes' leg buckled. With his other hand, Jesse continued to pull. He heard Hanzo groan and looked up to see him twisting his body counter-clockwise around Reyes' head, twirling around the light fixture. With a grunt, he shifted his legs.

There was a sudden, wet crack.

Reyes dropped to the floor fast like a sack of potatoes, causing Hanzo to call out in pain. Jesse did his best to stay upright, but was pulled downwards as Reyes fell. Hanzo came tumbling down, landing in a ball besides Jesse on his right side. Jesse was quick to notice the irregularity with Hanzo's left shoulder. His arm must have dislocated when Reyes' neck snapped.

Jesse breathed out to see that Reyes' body was still.

"It's gonna be alright, sweetheart. Get on your back." Jesse said to Hanzo as he holstering his gun.

Weakly, Hanzo uncurled his body, laying down with his back to the floor. Wanting the pain to persist for as little time as possible, Jesse gave Hanzo no warning as he pulled and relocated his arm.

 _"Yarichin! Yari_ \--" Hanzo yelled, before immediately relaxing his face with relief. "Yari...ah."

"You ping me if you need help, alright?"

Hanzo nodded.

Jesse returned to Reyes' body, wanting to make sure he was gone. With two fingers, he checked for a pulse. Nothing.

"McCree." Reyes mumbled, the words thick.

Jesse flinched. He felt like he should have been disappointed that Reyes was still breathing, but instead, he sensed the opportunity. Climbing atop Reyes' body, Jesse grabbed a fistful of his collar and drove his metal fist sharply into Reyes' face. Growling, he repeated the process over and over again with grit teeth even as Reyes began to produce a low call of pain. Burning with hot catharsis, Jesse worked up a mixture of blood and saliva and spat it into Reyes' face. Reyes' mask broke in two against Jesse's fist, smoke pouring out like black dry ice. Jesse needed to be as forceful as possible, needed Reyes to feel it even with his resistance.

When a hand touched his shoulder, Jesse pulled back his hand with question. He lifted his gaze to see Hanzo looking down at him with an untimely peaceful expression.

"There's no point." Hanzo said simply. "Just finish him."

Jesse looked at back at Reyes' body. Smoke covered his face, obscuring most of it, although Jesse managed to make out the signs of a very pained expression. Reyes coughed, spitting out a strange, tar-like black bile.

"He deserves it." Jesse replied through tight teeth. "For what he did to you."

"But I do not feel this will honor me. It doesn't please me to watch you do this."

To his own surprise, Jesse slowly rose from Reyes' body. He couldn't imagine not wanting to watch Reyes get beaten into a bloody pulp, but he did his best to honor Hanzo's wishes. Quickly, he pulled his gun back out.

Jesse cocked his revolver and aimed it at Reyes' head, ready to fire.

"Any last wishes?" Jesse asked.

"Kill me." Reyes answered. "I want it to be over."

Reyes' voice was a mockery of what it once was, raspy and sharp and spent. Jesse heard none of the Reyes he had once known and trusted. It was funny to Jesse, well-passed absurd to think that he had once loved this man and wanted to be loved back by him.

"That's about to be arranged." he replied.

"Good luck."

Jesse squinted his eyes with suspicion. He pulled the trigger, sending the bullet through Reyes' head with a loud blast and a wet splatter. More black goo began to seep from Reyes's head.

"Is he dead?" asked Hanzo.

"Not--quite." Reyes mumbled.

Jesse's eyes went wide as Reyes' form turned to a twisting being of smoke and lifted into the air. To Jesse's surprise, the smoke retreated towards the direction they'd come from.

_"I'll be back for you."_

As Reyes was no longer corporeal, Jesse wasn’t sure where the words had come from. They sounded strange, like a low howl.

"He will be back for us?" Hanzo asked, grabbing his gun from the ground.

"Run?" Jesse suggested, reloading his gun.

"Run."

At Hanzo's right side, Jesse took off into a sprint. Amped up as he was, he couldn't even feel his bad knee. In a cold silence, they ran past the kitchen and the gym, but to Jesse's intense frustration, he caught the sound of more troop footsteps.

There were two of them, both fully armed with shitty submachine guns. They charged forward from around the spiral, right from where Jesse wanted to be. Their weapons were lifted. If the map hadn't been lying, these were the last Talon soldiers left without major head wounds, not including Reyes.

 _'Rolling left. Attacking left,_ ' Jesse sent. Dodging a round of fire, Jesse rolled and shot the guard on the left, straight through the eyes.

He wasn't taking any chances.

Hanzo fired half a round into the head chest of the other guard, but not before two small bullets bit Jesse in the right side. Jesse yelped and fell to the ground.

Both guards were down. Problem was, Jesse didn't know if he could run anymore. He couldn't believe he'd left himself get shot against a low-ranking Talon officer, especially after they'd all proven themselves to be so incompetent. He supposed he was acting reckless. Covering his side with his right hand, Jesse let Hanzo help him up and feed him his third hit of coke. The pain began to subside.

Without another word, they took off again, not bothering to check the fallen troops for goods. Jesse wasn't completely sure how he managed to move so quickly, although the thought of Reyes still kicking around somewhere in the spiral helped. At his side, Hanzo tossed the gun he'd picked up in favor of wielding the crowbar.

 _'Bullets will not work on him. It was empty, in any case._ ' Hanzo explained as they raced.

_'I ain't judging.'_

At long last, the door to the surface came in sight.

It looked like the door they'd encountered in the science lab, simple and metallic, but Jesse felt he saw a warm yellow glow wafting from it. Nearly skidding, Jesse slowed himself to a halt. With his flesh hand, he touched the door.

Nothing happened.

"There's a keypad." Hanzo said, panting.

Jesse looked down to see that Hanzo was right. There was a panel installed next to the door, like the ones they'd seen at the beginning of their journey, but these ones held a number pad. Next to it was another map, the third they'd encountered. Hanzo took a look, although Jesse couldn't bring himself to just yet.

"I could try punchin' it." Jesse offered.

"I suppose it is worth a try."

Jesse brought his metal fist back and struck the keypad. It fizzled for a moment, with Jesse's eyes expectantly glued to the door. However, instead of opening, thick metal blast doors dropped down with a clunk over the door, quick as a wink.

A buzzing sound identical to the one that Sombra had set out rang out again, although Jesse supposed the noise was the least of their worries.

"This is fine." Jesse grunted. "We'll cut through."

"You do it." Hanzo replied, touching Jesse's right side. "I will help with your wound."

From his front pocket, Jesse snapped the razor onto his finger and got to work on the blast doors. To his dismay, he found that whatever metal they were made from was much tougher than anything they'd encountered so far. The light razor required long, slow pressure to cut.

"What's on the map?" Jesse asked.

"All of the troops are unaccounted for. Reyes is in the science lab."

"Hell's he doing in there?"

"I cannot say. How many bullets do you have left?"

"Seven."

"May I borrow the odd?"

Jesse swallowed.

"Knock yourself out." he replied, handing Hanzo the one bullet not in his gun.

As he continued to work on the door, Jesse did his best not to think about the sound of the bullet being opened, or the feeling of a cold hand against his side, pulling up his blood-soaked shirt and dragging gunpowder against his flesh.

"Matches are in the backpack." Jesse instructed through grit teeth.

Jesse had maybe a square foot of work done on the blast doors as Hanzo unzipped the pack. He looked over his shoulder as Hanzo pulled out the box of matches from the pack. He then looked away as Hanzo lit one.

"Fuck!" Jesse shouted as Hanzo pressed the match against his side.

Skin on fire, Jesse did his best to scrape the wall through the pain even as sweat began to roll into his eyes. Thankfully, it was over quickly, although his side still stung and probably would sting for a while. He felt the backpack unzip as Hanzo tossed the matches back in.

"I don't mean to alarm you," Hanzo said as he returned to examining the map. "But you may want to hurry."

"He still in the science lab?" Jesse asked, examining his work. He had about four square feet done, nothing special.

"No." Hanzo answered.

"Where is he?"

"Advancing."

"What speed?"

"Faster than a human can travel."

Face white, Jesse's heart pounded in his throat. A wave of ice shot through him as he caught ear of a low, deranged sounding scream from deep in the halls. He could just see the other side of the blast door now very well, a black staircase and to the side, a two twin metal doors.

"How far is he now?" Jesse asked.

"He is passing the gym."

Hanzo's voice was calm, but some fear did slip through. Jesse pushed the last chunk of metal, revealing a finished five by three foot hole. It was enough for them to pass through easily if they slouched.

"Go!" Jesse shouted, pushing Hanzo forward.

Hanzo traveled through the hole. Jesse crouched and followed behind into a small, living room sized area.

There was a long, dark staircase, stretching up farther than Jesse could see in the dim light, but that wasn't what Jesse was interested in. With haste, he turned to the elevator and pressed the call button. Turning to God, Jesse prayed that it would come quickly.

With frantic confusion, Jesse realized the the button had refused to light up. He pushed it again, a bit harder.

"I believe it's out of order." Hanzo said dryly, pointing.

Jesse followed Hanzo's finger to see a pink sticky note on the right elevator door with the words "out of order" scrawled across them.

"We're gonna have to fight him." Jesse realized aloud.

"What?"

Jesse checked to make sure the cyanide was still taped to both his and Hanzo's shoulder. To his relief, they were.

It was a short lived relief, however, as a red glow filled the room. With a quick turn of his head, Jesse caught an eyeful of Reyes, teleporting up a dozen or so of the stairs.

"Surprise." Reyes said.

Jesse watched in morbid curiosity as Reyes opened his jacket with his right hand to reveal dozens of packets of powder in clear bags that had been taped crudely into his jacket from top to bottom. In his other hand, Reyes held a long-reach lighter, with the tube nose attached to a thin wire that reached into his coat. As the scent of nitroglycerine mixed with the air, Jesse didn't have to guess what the use was for.

"I've outstayed my welcome in this world, I can admit that." Reyes said. "But I'm taking you with me, McCree"

Jesse half ran, half was shoved by Hanzo back out into the facility as Reyes began to rush down the stairs. Back outside in the hall, Jesse pulled out his gun while Hanzo unsheathed his crowbar from his quiver. Jesse led them into a sharp left into the other hallway, having every intention of getting as far away from the holding cells as he possibly could.

 _'What's our plan?'_ Jesse asked Hanzo as they began to travel back the way they'd came.

 _'I don't know._ ' Hanzo admitted. _'You've known him long, does he have any weak points?'_

It was hard to think with the thick adrenaline coursing through Jesse's brain. It seemed like a hopeless question to answer, as well, considering that Reyes was much more powerful that he'd been when Jesse'd last seen him. Jesse thought back to their previous fight, just a few minutes earlier.

By the time Jesse tapped his tongue to reply, Reyes had dragged himself through the crude hole. He got to his feet, about fifty feet or so away.

 _'When I shot him in the kneecap._ ' Jesse remembered. _'It didn't hurt him, but it busted his ability to walk.'_

_'That will be our plan. Give me orders as you see fit.'_

As Reyes charged at him, Jesse kept his hands as steady as he could. He fired three times before he managed to drive another bullet in Reyes' knee.

It worked. Reyes fell with a grunt.

At first, it felt too good to be true. Then, Jesse realized it _was_ too good to be true. He watched with cold terror as Reyes turned back into smoke. Grabbing Hanzo, Jesse turned and ran further down the hall with his head over his shoulder as the twisted smoke plume chased them with inhuman speed. A moment later, Reyes turned back into a man, standing tall. He continued to run towards them, his knee healed.

 _'That's new._ ' Jesse sent to Hanzo with a grunt.

_'Try again.'_

Jesse stopped running for just a moment to shoot. This time, Jesse only needed one shot to bust Reyes' knee. Reyes still limped towards them, but too pathetically to gain any ground.

 _'Wait._ ' Jesse ordered as Hanzo took a step forwards.

Hanzo stopped. They could probably go around him if they were quick about it, but Jesse wasn't ready to take a chance yet. Instead, he backed them up further, putting more distance between them.

They had almost gotten to a sign that read "troop quarters" when Reyes turned to smoke again.

 _'Why would he wait?'_ Hanzo asked as they took off running once more.

_'Think he can only do it every once in a while.'_

"I'm getting pretty sick of your shit, McCree.' said Reyes as he turned back into a man. "You're gonna run out of bullets and hallway eventually."

The truth of Reyes' words chilled down Jesse's spine. He didn't have to look to know that he only had two bullets left.

 _'I know I already said it, but I want you to know how much I love you._ ' Jesse sent.

Slowing to a halt, Reyes covered his kneecaps right as Jesse raised his gun, but the bullet went straight through his hand. Although he took it with a grain of salt, Jesse felt a tiny note of confidence spark in his chest, inspired by at Reyes' idiocy. Jesse wondered if perhaps all the shots he'd taken, including the one to the head, weren't helping Reyes' crumbling mental facilities.

 _'I have a plan._ ' Hanzo sent. _'Do you have a way to start a fire?'_

 _'Yeah._ ' Jesse replied, remembering the matches. Although he didn't know what it was yet, the knowledge that Hanzo had a plan sent hot, euphoric warmth from Jesse's chest to his toes.

_'I need your backpack.'_

Quickly stripping off the hand cannons and hydrochloric acid bottle from the straps, Jesse handed Hanzo the pack. After he'd shoved the canons into his ammo belt, Jesse tucked the acid under his arm. Looking up, Jesse's eyes widened in horror as Hanzo took off running towards Reyes with the bag. On his way, Hanzo took an arrow from his quiver and stabbed it through the backpack.

_'He'll blow if you get close, idiot!'_

_'You are the one he wants dead.'_

It appeared Hanzo was right as Reyes only threw out a punch as he arrived, which Hanzo dodged in a neat leap over Reyes' body. Using his left foot in an attempt to keep Reyes' still, Hanzo stabbed with the arrow hard with a wet smack, pinning the backpack between Reyes' shoulder blades as Reyes struggled aimlessly. Reyes threw another punch, but Hanzo twisted away. Next, Hanzo took the crow bar from his quiver and smashed it hard against the leather backpack. Jesse heard the sound of glass being shattered. Remembering the whiskey, Jesse realized what he was supposed to light on fire.

Growling, Reyes threw his back into the air with all his might, sending Hanzo into the wall with a loud clunk. Liquid began to fall from Reyes in a stream, soaking into the fabric of his clothing. He turned to smoke again, immediately taking off to chase Jesse down. Jesse looked over his shoulder as he ran, but Hanzo quickly fell out of sight.

 _'You alive?'_ Jesse sent as Reyes turned back into a man, just twenty feet away.

Although Reyes' face was out of view, Jesse still felt like he could see the unadulterated hatred in his eyes as Reyes advanced on him fast, black smoke clouds spiraling from his feet and streams of alcohol running off as he stepped. Not having Hanzo at his side made the horror of the situation seem all the more real.

Gabriel Reyes was more than anything Jesse could explain with reason. He wasn’t just a misguided extremist. He wasn’t just apathetic. He was a real, twisted evil, like the pit of Sheol that Jesse had been taught about when he was very young. Reyes was a man who’s only pleasure was the torture of others, and would indulge himself in it for an eternity if the laws of the universe didn't stop him. To think that there was anyone like that in the world terrified Jesse enough, but to see him charge down the hall was something else. And for a moment, Jesse couldn't do anything but let his thoughts get the better of him. He wondered, pointlessly so, what could have possibly drove a man to become something like this. Furthermore, he questioned if any man could grow to become something so vile, or if it took a special kind of person.

_'Yes. I am unharmed.'_

_'You hide. I got this. Tell me when you're in cover.'_

Jesse felt new strength wash over him at the sound of Hanzo's voice. He was so, so close. They were going to get out, going to live. All he had to do was shoot and light a match. The first and last shot sank pretty into Reyes' kneecap. Jesse holstered his gun.

_'I am in cover.'_

As Reyes fell to a crawl, the alcohol pooling around him, Jesse pledged to give his eternal thanks for Ana Amari for turning him into the best shot in the western world. Hand over his shoulder, Jesse reached for the matches in his backpack.

Jesse was not wearing a backpack.

Reyes had the backpack. Reyes had the matches.

Jesse didn't even waste time screaming in frustration or calling himself the idiot that he was. Racking his mind, Jesse thought. He thought about everything he had, everything he'd learned in his life and everything he'd learned during his romp through Talon's hell hole. He took a step back as alcohol all the way to his feet from trickled from Reyes' crawling body. Desperately, Jesse rubbed his face, feeling the soot and the areas of smooth skin where parts of his beard had burned off from--

Jesse looked at the hand cannons.

Formulating actual prayers for the third time in one day, Jesse reached deep into the front pocket of his brown knock-off oxford flannel for the final time. He exhaled slightly when his fingers ran into something. Touching it, it felt like the right shape, long and thin. Jesse pulled it from his pocket to find a long-lost, half finish cigarette. It almost fell apart in his hands as he brought it to his mouth and put it in his lips. It had clearly gone through the wash a few times, but it had still somehow managed to hold up. he had a distant memory of the first half of the cigarette, of lighting it just to have something to do with his hands on Hanzo's couch. Before he and Hanzo were what they were.

Reyes growled as Jesse lifted a homemade hand canon with one hand and the bottle of hydrochloric acid with the other. Bringing it close to his face and peering down the barrel, Jesse shoved the acid bottle in the base and took his shot, right into Reyes' other kneecap for good measure. Reyes clicked his tongue as no flames erupted.

"No more options, huh?" Reyes asked.

Jesse inhaled carefully, long as slow as the beautiful, wonderful, long-awaited taste of nicotine filled his mouth and lungs. Looking down, he could see the tiny, strong ember at the tip of the cigarette.

He'd never enjoyed a draw more.

"Bless your heart." Jesse replied, tossing the cigarette into the trail of alcohol by his foot.

Jesse only had time to look for a second at the bright orange trail that bolted from the bud before he whirled around and ran, sprinting down the dark hall as fast as he could, faster than he could have ever remembered running before. Although his heart pounded, he could still hear the roaring flames as something, presumably Reyes' jacket, caught fire. Seeking solace in the natural part of the spiral that curved into cover, Jesse dived, staying as close into the inside of the curve as possible.

The bang was monstrous. Jesse barely had time to cover his ears.

A moment passed.

Jesse pried his eyes open to see that he was alive, and laying across from another keypad and a blue door panel that read 'Amélie'.

 _'Where are you?'_ Jesse sent.

Jesse's chest stung hard as it rose as he waited for his answer, the seconds ticking by. He'd forgotten that anxiety could be psychically painful.

_'I am in the room that links to surface transportation. Near the elevator.’_

The smile cracked against Jesse's face so quickly that he felt the soot crack. Taking off into another sprint, Jesse's chest was light as he raced back around to the staircase and broken elevator. Gleefully, he skipped over the small chunks of viscera and puddle of black goo, and nearly dived through the hole they'd made in the blast door when he got there. Although he'd have thought it impossible, his smile widened farther when he caught eye of Hanzo, back to the elevator doors.

Upon seeing Jesse, Hanzo opened his arms with a look of absolute wonder. Jesse crashed into Hanzo's chest, falling to his knees as he twisted his body together.

"At first I--didn't have fire--" Jesse panted, "but then I realized--that the fire was just the friends I made along the way."

"Alright." Hanzo replied, eyes bright.

"You're--you're my fire."

"Uhuh."

"Am I making sense?"

"Grammatically, yes."

Across Hanzo's face was the widest smile Jesse had ever seen him give. Careful not to hurt Hanzo's face, Jesse pressed a kiss against Hanzo's mouth, wanting to get one in before his face got too wet from the tears that were pouring from his eyes.

"We are not finished yet." Hanzo said, pulling away from Jesse's mouth. "We still must climb."

Jesse supposed that was true. On shaking feet, he stood. He offered Hanzo a hand, who took it.

They both looked to the long flight of stairs, and then regretfully back at the elevator. Jesse was tired, the cocaine was wearing off, but with Hanzo by his side, it should be easy.

"Shouldn't be too hard." Jesse started. "How long do you reckon it'll..."

Hanzo crumpled onto the ground.

Jesse's chest turned into ice once again as he stared. Quickly, he stepped forward to Hanzo's side, taking Hanzo's head in his hands.

"Hanzo?" Jesse asked, voice low. "Hanzo?"

Hanzo didn't reply, although Jesse could feel the breath circulating through were his nose once was. Jesse checked Hanzo's pulse. It was strong, but when Jesse carefully pried Hanzo's left eyelid down with a finger, he found Hanzo's pupil was blown wide.

He must have passed out from exhaustion.

Jesse rubbed his temple and groaned, heavily resisting the urge to kick the ground and shout, knowing he needed to save every bit of energy that he had. He knew that the chances of Hanzo waking up with new energy were low. He was in need of medical attention. They both were.

Hanzo stirred slightly as Jesse tossed him over his shoulder with a growl.

Jesse eyed the staircase in front of him. Even with a good view, the exit was still nowhere to be seen. Jesse had a distant memory of the map having provided the distance of one kilometer, attached to the staircase.

A mile and a half. Equated to about seventy-five flights of stairs, and that was assuming the map had been measuring the length of the stairs, not how deep they were below the earth. Either way, Jesse took off, Hanzo's bow diffing awkwardly into his back.

He'd gotten up a dozen or so stairs when Hanzo's body stirred again. It wasn't long until Jesse retrieved a message over the neurocomm.

 _'Am I alive?'_ Hanzo sent.

_'You tell me.'_

_'I see very strange colors. And I am unable to move.'_

_'Yeah, well, I think you're on the edge of consciousness. Not death.'_

_'I appear to be in motion.'_

_'Reckon you are.'_

Jesse did his best not to grunt as he climbed another few stairs, wanting to conserve every bit of energy he had left in him, even the most metaphorical.

_'Save yourself. Let me die.'_

_'Not a chance.'_

_'I lied about the security system. Sombra could easily dismantle it if she tried.'_

_'There's no troops left.'_

_'There are no troops left in this facility. This is only one of Talon's bases.'_

Jesse grit his teeth but kept moving forward.

_'Did you not hear me?'_

_'Heard you loud and clear, Thanos. I ain't leaving you in a torture house. Now if you'll excuse me, I've got a day to save.'_

_'You are making the wrong...'_

Hanzo's body fell further limp. Halting for just a moment, Jesse quickly checked to make sure he was still alive. He was, but completely unconscious.

Jesse resumed climbing.

Perhaps it was the wrong choice. Jesse had wondered his whole life what he'd do when faced with a utilitarian dilemma, one where he had to choose between a higher chance of having it one way, helping his team, and a lower chance of having it both ways, helping his team and saving Hanzo. But he found that when faced with it, the choice was surprisingly easy. Taking a leaf out of Hanzo's book, Jesse choose not to fail.

It was both the easiest and hardest choice he'd ever had to make. It was easy because it feel directly into his own philosophies; break the rules, take risks, and try your luck with will power. It was the hardest choice because of the pain. Every step he took sent agony screaming through his body. He quickly developed a deep ache in the shoulder that Hanzo was slung over, forcing him to reposition him over the other. The new position grew tiresome just as quickly.

At one point, Jesse took a tiny break to see if Hanzo had any cocaine left.

He didn't.

The minutes dragged on. Jesse wasn't sure how much time had passed since he started, but when he looked back down over his shoulder, he couldn't see the bottom.

Although Hanzo was heavy, and a constant reminder to Jesse of his sentimental human weakness, Jesse slowly began to realize that taking him had been objectively the right choice. Because as shameful as it might have been to admit, Jesse knew in his heart that without the fuzz from Hanzo's undercut tickling against his shoulder, he probably would have stopped and bit the pill at that point if it had just been himself.

Finally, after roughly two straight hours of pain and the most intense craving for a cigarette that Jesse had ever felt, the top of the staircase came into view. Still, as he got closer, any hope he might have felt was crushed by the realization that he had no idea what was waiting for them at the top. It could be a whole squad. Even if there wasn't, they could easily be found, weak as they were, and brought back.

Still, Jesse pushed on, as he knew he had to leave the facility to send the message to Overwatch.

"Luck, be a lady." Jesse muttered.

The stairs came out into a little flat. With a grunt, Jesse rested Hanzo against the ground. Next to the set of black stone double doors was another silver keypad, but Jesse, having learned his lesson, just used the light razor instead.

Warm, beautiful light rushed into Jesse's face as he cut through. After he'd sawed open a sizable hole, Jesse shoved Hanzo's body through it, his arms screaming in pain. After taking a moment to collect himself, Jesse followed, crawling through the hole.

Jesse's mouth opened with confusion as he realized that they were in the middle of an abandoned strip mall. To his utter shock, when he crawled forward and looked back at the doors he'd come from that that over them was a large, rundown building. Near the top of the building was a lettered sign. Although the letters spelled out a Spanish word Jesse didn't recognize, it was clearly a label for a department store. From the street view, it just looked like any old abandoned store would.

Talon had built a base under a fake rundown Target.

In the distance, Jesse could see people beyond the strip mall. A street of cars. Maybe someone could help. Dragging Hanzo forward across the pavement by the arm, Jesse messaged Jack Morrison.

 _'Talon has the base coordinates._ ' Jesse sent. _'Get out. We're either in Middle or South America. Hanzo needs...'_

Jesse's brain turned to mush. His legs giving out, Jesse kept Hanzo tight on his back and attempted to scoop himself across the pavement. He fought the grey dots that swarmed into his vision, and he even fought his own limbs as they became numb.

He had to get them out of range, had to get back to civilization. Someone could call them an ambulance.

No longer able to keep his eyes opened, Jesse hoped he was traveling in the right direction as he inched himself along the ground. Somewhere in the back of his desperately exhausted mind, Jesse had the suspicion that he wasn't moving very fast. In fact, he wasn't sure he was moving at all, his fingers scraping pathetically at the ground before him. He had to step it up. Jesse took a deep breath and willed the strength back into his body.

To his surprise, it worked. Jesse suddenly felt himself moving much faster. So fast that his hands and knees were no longer touching the ground. For a moment, Jesse was elated at his own sudden strength, but he quickly grew suspicions that he might just be dead. Cracking open an eye, Jesse's suspicions were confirmed as he saw he was being brought towards a column of light.

His vision was horrible, but he could just make out a figure's loose silhouette as it stepped into the column of light. Jesse could tell that it was a humanoid, although couldn't see if it was a man or a woman.

"God?" Jesse asked.

"Not quite." the figure replied.

Jesse winced. God sounded way too much like Morrison.

"You look like shit." God said. "And after just a day? I once spent four years in a hole."

Floating on his back, Jesse continued to ascend towards the light. For a moment, he felt a dull pinch in his side as God touched him with some sort of device, but it was quickly replaced by a feeling of bliss, his pain gone. Jesse didn't know how to describe this bliss. The closest thing he could liken it to was the opium he'd gotten to try after his arm had been knocked off.

"Do I have to go to heaven or hell?" Jesse asked. "Can I choose to just not exist? Or could I go to heaven for a while, but opt out to not exist at any time?"

"Fuck if I know." God replied.

"Can I get a favor?"

"What?"

Jesse gulped. Tears began to fall from his eyes. Jesse wouldn't have thought he'd have nothing left to cry, but here he was proving himself wrong.

"Make sure Hanzo doesn't have to go to hell." said Jesse. "I know he mighta' killed a lotta people, but he's good. I promise."

"Whatever."

"Where is he?"

"On the cot behind you. Now, will you shut up? We got a ship ride back to Watchpoint."

Jesse's eyes widened as he was hit with a smashing realization.

How did he not see it before? Watchpoint was heaven. He'd been in heaven the whole time. Heaven was just the friends he'd made along the way.

"Thank you, God." Jesse replied. "Sorry I said you probably weren't real all those times."

Jesse felt a tiny drop as he stopped ascending. Still, his continued to move forward. The light was around him now. Jesse couldn't see them very well, but he sensed another presence in the room.

Heaven smelled a lot like the emergency section of an Overwatch drop ship.

"Jesse!" a woman's voice called, her voice filled happiness. "Jesse! My baby."

"Mama?" Jesse asked, reaching blindly in her direction.

"What? No." replied the voice. "It's Ana. Ana Amari."

"Ana? How did you die?"

With a cold flash of dread, Jesse wondered if Talon had used the information that he'd given them to kill her.

"Why is he acting like this?" Jesse's mother asked God.

"He thinks he's dead." God answered, voice on the edge of a snicker.

"And you did not tell him he wasn't?"

Jesse wondered if dog heaven was the same as people heaven. He looked up as his mother--Ana looked down on him.

"You're not dead, Jesse," she explained. "You're just very tired and very high."

Jesse supposed that made more sense.

"That sounds nice." he giggled.

"It is, Jesse. I am very glad to have you back. I'm sorry it took us so long. We couldn't track you until you were on the surface." Ana replied.

"How did you find us? Did you track us with the comms?"

"No, we did it with the chip we put in your butt while you were asleep."

"That's nice. Is Hanz gonna be ok?"

"Hanzo will be fine."

Ana took his hand right hand and squeezed it in her palm. A drop of liquid hit Jesse in the face, starling him. He didn’t realize until it rolled off his face that it was one of Ana’s tears.

"I love you, Ana." Jesse said.

"I love you too, Jesse." Ana replied.

"Did you give the drugs to Hanzo?"

"The opium?"

"Yeah. He needs to try it."

"Yes, he has been taken care of."

"Good. I love drugs."

Jesse had just closed his eyes, enjoying paradise, when he remembered something.

"Wait!" Jesse said, eyes snapping open. "Wait. I gotta talk to Morrison."

"I'm right here, son." Morrison replied, kneeling next to Jesse's left side. "Make it quick."

"I sold you out. I gave them the coordinates." Jesse admitted, frowning hard.

"What coordinates?"

"The...coordinates. Sixty one, uh..."

"Those are the coordinates to a Kentucky Fried Chicken, moron. Did you really think I was gonna give you the coordinates like that?"

For the first time in his life, Jesse felt a wave of appreciation for Commander Jack Morrison.

"I don't ask my men to do things that men can't do." Morrison followed.

Overcome, Jesse twisted his left hand into the fabric of Morrison's shirt and brought him down, letting their faces meet in the middle. Jesse pressed his mouth against Morrison's as affectionately as he could.

Jesse let Morrison go to see that he now had a huge soot mark on his mouth.

"Please don't do that." said Morrison, frowning.

“I’m so sorry I’ve been mean to you.” Jesse gushed. “I should’ve appreciated you more--”

“It’s alright.” Morrison interrupted.

“I’m sorry that I never did. I shouldn’t a’ told everyone that you were an angry old man who smells like gunpowder and sadness.”

"Whatever."

“--and I’m sorry that I once drew an angry face on a tub of vanilla ice cream and told everyone it was you.”

“Spare me.”

Eyes filled with wonder, Jesse reached out to touch Morrison’s hand. Morrison moved it away.

“I know that even though you make me do too much laundry," Jesse continued, "and call me a communist, and a bumpkin, and make fun a’ me for liking other men, I still think that--”

“You make fun of him for _what?”_ Ana asked Morrison, voice sharp.

Morrison looked down.

The rest the ship ride was mostly silent as Ana fell fast asleep at his side, but Jesse couldn't say that he minded, He didn't get to see to see Hanzo, as Hanzo was being worked on by Angela, but he'd been assured numerous times that he was going to be alright.

Jesse shook himself from his thoughts as Morrison came back over.

"Alright, we need to do the mission report now." Morrison said, scooting up to Jesse with a pad of paper.

"Why?"

"Cause we're gonna blank a day's worth of your memory.”

”...Why?”

”We want to get rid of the trauma before it roots in your brain."

”Oh.”

”You should be grateful. Back in my day, all you would’ve gotten was the day off and three nights worth of knock-out pills.”

Jesse supposed a memory wipe was for the best. He didn't need another reason to wake Hanzo up at night.

Hanzo.

"But we'll let you read the mission report tomorrow. If you want." Morrison finished.

"Wait." Jesse said.

"What?"

"I..."

Jesse trailed off, having no idea how to explain the situation to Morrison. He had no idea how to explain the situation to anyone.

"Do you think things are gonna be alright between me and him?" Jesse asked. "After the wipe?"

Morrison's eyebrows came together. To Jesse's surprise, his expression lacked anger. He actually looked like he was thinking about answering honestly.

"Yes." Morrison replied. "I do."

"Cause we figured out in there that a lot of our problems--weren't really problems."

"Yes, McCree, I've been in a relationship before. I stand by what I said. Are you ready?"

Jesse supposed he was ready. Despite everything, he was excited to tell Morrison that they'd taken down Reyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings include: drug use, torture, murder, mercy killing, mentions of solitary confinement, existential horror, jokes about existential horror, and a villain blown into a fine pink mist. If you feel that this isn't right for you, but still want to know the conclusion to the last chapter, hit Ctrl F and type in 'Yes, I'm awake.' and read until people start talking. 
> 
>  
> 
> For reasons that I don't understand, I would like to say that I have never broken out of an underground base camp, done cocaine, or killed someone. I usually like to get first hand experience with the things I talk about but I decided that perhaps it was a bad idea for this thing.


	15. Pollack

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last story chapter. Epilogue coming soon.

Twenty hours later, Jesse rubbed the back of his neck as he walked into Morrison's office. Morrison didn't even look up from his computer as Jesse sat down with a clunk.

Jesse had just been released from hospice care. His injuries had been pretty minor. He couldn't remember with detail what had happened the day before in the Talon torture house, although after reading the mission report, he couldn't say he minded. And he was more than a little relieved to hear that Reyes was dead. Still, he couldn't help but question how it had been between him and Hanzo during the breakout. He wondered if they'd said anything to each other, or if they'd been cold and silent, just keeping their gaze towards escaping. Honestly, Jesse was in a shitty mood. All he wanted to do was talk to Hanzo, but he didn't have a way to.

Morrison stopped typing.

"I don't like you." Jesse said, narrowing his eyes.

"Nice to see you too." Morrison replied.

"I think you're an angry, violent old man and I don't like the way that you treat the people you kill."

"Alright." 

"I know you used to have a lot of power around here about the way things went, but now you don't. And you take it out on everyone else."

"Ok."

"And I want you to know that if I felt the need to, I'd betray you in an instant and not loose a single minute a' sleep over it."

"Are you going somewhere with this?"

"Yes." Jesse gulped. "I wanted to say thank you. For saving me."

Morrison scoffed and looked down into his lap.

"It wasn't hard." he replied. "We just flew around for a few hours and waited for you to come in signal."

"How'dja you find us, anyway? Did you track me with the nuerocomm?"

"...Yeah."

Jesse watched as Morrison's gaze drifted back to his computer screen.

"Why did you call me in here?" Jesse asked.

Sighing, Morrison opened a drawer next to his right hand and pulled out a manila envelope. He slid it across the desk to Jesse. 

"What's this?" Jesse followed as he touched the envelope. There was no title.

"Open it."

Jesse opened the envelope to find a thin packet of white papers, all stapled together. They were coated with text. Starting at the top of the first one, Jesse began to read.

 _Agent_JM: Look,_   _I'_ _m so sorry. I'm so sorry. This is all my fault.'_

_ Agent_HS: 'I feel no judgement towards you.' _

_ Agent_JM: 'What?' _

"The hell is this?" Jesse asked, looking up from the papers.

"The conversation you and Shimada had over the neurocomm before you broke out." Morrison answered. "Just read it."

Jesse grit his teeth but continued reading with the new context.

_Agent__ _HS: 'Please, I ask that you do not cause yourself more suffering than is necessary. You are a man who has dedicated his life to helping others. You should not be ashamed to have a breaking point, just like everyone else.'_

_Agent__ _HS: 'And, it may be selfish of me to feel this way, but I cannot help to be somewhat pleased how highly you value my safety.'_

_Agent_JM: 'Oh.'_

_Agent_HS: 'There is something I'd like to say, and something I'd like to apologize for._ '

_Agent_JM: 'What?'_

_Agent_HS: 'I love you.'_

Jesse coughed hard. Quickly, he brought his fist to his mouth. He flashed a glace at Morrison, who was staring angrily at the wall.

_Agent_HS: 'And by that I mean I am in love with you, if that was not clear.' _

_Agent_JM: 'Why didn't you tell me?'_  

_Agent_HS: 'I did not know how.' _

_Agent_JM: 'Suppose I can relate to that.' _

_Agent_HS: 'Perhaps. In any case, I would like to apologize for tossing you to the side.' _

_Agent_JM: 'Why'd you do it?' _

_Agent_HS: 'Because, Jesse, I cannot help but notice that no one has ever treated you right.' _

_Agent_JM: 'What do you mean?' _

_Agent_HS: 'The longer I stayed with you, and the harder it became to deny what we were doing. When I had no deniability left, all I could think was how selfish it was of me to feel that I could be the one to finally--' _

_Agent_HS: 'I am an honorless, disgraced shell of a man. To say that you deserve someone better would be far more than an understatement.' _

With another cough, Jesse stopped reading. He had no intentions of breaking down crying in Morrison's office.

"Where did you get this?" Jesse asked weakly.

"From you. You hacked into the nuerocomm, found the messages, and printed them out."

"...I hacked into the neurocomm?"

"Yeah."

"I don't know how to do that."

"Well, you did." Morrison replied, gritting his teeth. "Get off my back."

Jesse scratched the back of his head in wonder as his chest filled with warmth. In a rather unfamiliar turn of events, he felt a wave of appreciation for Morrison. 

"Has--has--" Jesse stammered, pointing at the papers, "has Hanzo...?"

"Yeah. I gave him a copy about an hour ago." 

"How did he...?"

"I'm not sure. He took it out in the hall to read. I don't think he wanted me there while he did."

"Where is he?"

"Not sure."

Jesse looked back down at the papers. He longed to read on, but Morrison's office was getting smaller by the second.

"Think I'm gonna do the same." Jesse replied, collecting the papers. "Long as you don't mind."

Morrison opened his mouth for a moment but quickly closed it. Jesse was halfway to the door before Morrison spoke.

"Before you go." said Morrison.

Resisting the urge to groan, Jesse returned to his chair, papers under his arms. He sat in the chair with a slump. From his desk, Morrison made eye contact with the wall. When Jesse followed Morrison's gaze, he found he was staring at a framed picture of Ana in her bastet costume. 

"I, uh, promised--uh, there's something I think I should tell you." Morrison followed.

"What?" 

Morrison sighed. His brows came together with farther irritation before he opened his mouth to reply.

"I'm gay." 

Jesse inhaled a teaspoon of saliva into his lungs. Bringing his fist to his mouth, he coughed. 

"What?" Jesse asked, eyes watering.

"I have sex with other men."

Jesse gagged.

"Whatever." Morrison followed.

Narrowing his eyes, Jesse stared. Morrison had to be fucking with him. This was clearly a joke, and Jesse had no intention of finding out what the punchline was.

"I don't believe you." said Jesse, crossing his arms.

Sighing again, Morrison brought a hand up and pointed at the wall to his left. Jesse followed the finger with his eyes, although he wasn't sure what he was supposed to be looking for.

"What?" Jesse asked.

"There." Morrison replied, jabbing with his finger. "In between the Support Our Troops ribbon and the bust of Teddy Roosevelt."

Jesse squinted, following Morrison's instructions. To his surprise, snug between the ribbon and the bust, he spotted the tiniest rainbow flag pin he'd even seen.

"Do you want to see my internet history?" Morrison asked.

"Hard pass." Jesse replied. "I believe you." 

"Good. Glad we had this talk."

Jesse stared at Morrison in awe for a few solid seconds, recounting the last twenty years of interactions they'd had. Suddenly, a thought dawned on him.

"Wait." said Jesse, nearly stomped his boot. "Wait a minute." 

"What?"

"If you're gay, then why did you make fun a' me for being..." 

"Because I don't like you."

Jesse scoffed.

"You sold out your own kind to mess with my insecurities?" Jesse asked.

"And I'd do it again."

Jesse groaned.

"You're a goddamn asshole." he replied

"I'll live. Anyway, I wanted to apologize and to tell you..."

Morrison trailed off as he pulled a small piece of paper from his pocket and took a look.

"...that it's ok to do butt stuff with other men." Morrison finished. 

Slumping down further in his chair, Jesse shot Morrison as pointed of a glare as he could manage. Morrison stared back.

"Do you have any questions?" Morrison followed.

"Yeah, reckon I do." Jesse replied. "Why are you like this?"

For nearly half a minute, they both sat in silence while rubbed his temples. Jesse stared at the wall, still thinking about the papers he held. Finally, Morrison opened his mouth.

"Look." Morrison started, more collected this time. "I'm sorry. It sucks to be gay and homophobic."

"Do you know anything about that?" Jesse asked.

"Probably not as much as you. My family wasn't a bunch twangy hicks, but the military will leave a number on you, even today." 

Jesse kept his mouth closed, letting it slide.

"But anyway." Morrison continued. "It's not a big deal. Maybe some of your family back home would have cared. But here's the thing. They're wrong."

"Sir?"

"The people who care about stuff like that. They're wrong. There's people like that all over the world. Good people, even. Smart people. They're all wrong."

"...How are you justifyin' that?"

"Look, son, if you want to hear about how all value is assigned arbitrarily, you know who to talk to. I'm here to tell you that you're not alone."

Jesse swallowed hard, feeling a strange mixture of emotions rise into his chest. He took another look at Morrison, who's face was as irritable and underwhelmed as ever. 

"Do you have any other questions?" Morrison asked.

This was new territory for Jesse. Still, after racking his mind, he found that he did have some questions.

"Uh, yeah." he started. "Did you--ever celebrate it?"

Morrison shook his head.

"Not really. Wasn't me." he replied. "Maybe a little in my twenties."

"Do you think I should celebrate it?"

As he thought, Morrison looked up in what resembled genuine consideration.

"Do whatever you want." he answered. "On one hand, yeah, sexuality is pretty arbitrary. Just another gene floating around, doesn't really say much about you. But on the other hand, if you're ashamed of it, maybe a little celebration wouldn't hurt."

"...Huh."

"It's just what you make of it, son. That's all being gay is."

"I ain't--I don't think I'm gay. I think I'm something--in between."

"Choose a side."

Jesse raised an eyebrow.

"Joking." Morrison followed. "I don't care."

Jesse lowered his eyebrow.

"Thank you." Jesse said, half genuine and half sardonic.

"You're welcome. Thank you for going down to hell and blasting the devil into a pink mist. You did good work in the snail."

"The Snail?"

"The facility you were in."

Jesse blinked, trying to remember. 

"Hey, uh, I got a question for you." Morrison said.

"What?"

"Sorry if this seems a little too personal, but do you remember what it felt like to take that bastard down?"

To Jesse's surprise, he found himself wracking his brain to see if he did.

"No." Jesse answered truthfully.

"Oh." Morrison replied. 

He sounded disappointed. 

"But, uh, I'm sure I thought of you."

"Why me?" 

"Probably felt a bit of dismay to rob you of the opportunity." 

Morrison gave a slight nod of his head.

"It's alright." he replied. "What matters is that he's gone."

"Yeah." 

"Do you have any other questions?" 

"Can I have the week off?" Jesse asked. "You said I could have the week off."

"Knock yourself out." Morrison answered, to Jesse's relief. 

Jesse didn't reply.

"Is that it?" Morrison asked.

"Uhh, yeah."

"Alright. Get out of my office."

Still in a haze, Jesse stood. As he walked to the door, he moved the papers into his line of sight. He reached out towards the knob and--

"I'd be good to him, if I were you." Morrison said.

Hand still on the knob, Jesse turned to see Morrison had glued himself back to his computer screen.

"Huh?" Jesse asked.

"You should be good to Shimada."

"...Why are you telling me that?"

"No reason. Just that if you're not careful, somebody else might swoop in and grab him. Be good to him."

Jesse's eyes widened. Under his metal hand, he resisted the reflex urge to crush the doorknob.

"Are you threatin' me?" Jesse asked.

"No. I'm just saying. He's a _real_ good looking guy."

All Jesse could do was stare stupidly as his own mouth fell open. Morrison clicked his tongue.

"Go." he finished. "I'll see you at the funeral." 

Jesse left Morrison'd office in a confused, emotional huff, which persisted as he searched for a private spot to sit and read  He ended up tucking himself near the door to Ana's empty office. However, his emotional turmoil began to subside as he looked down to the papers in his hand.

He went through several stages as he read the conversation that they'd apparently had on the edge of death. Disbelief, then melancholy, then happiness, then thick elation, and then finally, contentment. It was almost like the opposite of the stages of grief.

_ Agent_HS: 'I said, I have a half gram of cocaine and a light razor lodged up my rectum. Would you like to live?' _

"Goddamn paranoid genius." Jesse muttered, a fond smile plastered to his face. 

 

~~~~

 

Having no way to contact Hanzo, Jesse wasn't able to see him until the funeral that night. And even at the funeral, they weren't able to speak. He'd tried to get there early, but he'd been swarmed with shouts, hugs, and three unprompted kisses on the mouth from Lena, Genji, and Fareeha respectively. Eventually, everyone left and Jesse was able to look for Hanzo, but when he found him in the arms of a sobbing, visorless Genji, Jesse decided to quietly retract his steps and come back another time.

Silence fell when Ana started the eulogy, and then formed into a semi-circle. At his sides, Fareeha and Genji hung tight to Jesse's sides and refused to let go, although Jesse didn't mind. Wanting to be respectful, Jesse resisted the urge to try to make eye-contact with Hanzo, especially when Morrison got up to speak.

Morrison's speech consisted of the single word "Eh", followed by a solid minute of stone-faced staring at nothing. Finally, he pulled a picture from his pocket and placed it on the offering table in silence. After he returned to his place in the half circle, Ana propped the picture upright.    

It was an Blackwatch team shot. Had Jesse still had his memory, he would have noticed it was the same one Moira'd had in her quarters.

The eulogy wrapped up. Although Jesse was still dying to talk to Hanzo, he took a moment to give Ana a hug and thank her, once again. She returned the gesture with tears, and Jesse closed his eyes as she told him just how proud of him she was.

When Ana left, Jesse found Hanzo off to the side of the garden, speaking with Winston and Zenyatta.

Seeing no harm in it, Jesse wandered over, keeping his distance. However, he still managed to pick up on what they were saying, although he hadn't been trying to.

"...for offering to take my species with you." Hanzo said as he bowed to Zenyatta. 

There was a piece of blue silk cloth tied around Hanzo's face. Jesse remembered from the mission report that Hanzo had lost his nose. Furthermore, Hanzo's right hand had been replaced by one of metal. Jesse hoped he'd get the chance to take a closer look.

"Of course." Zenyatta replied. "When I say I wish for us all to live as equals, I do mean that quite literally." 

"I want to thank you for expressing your concerns, Hanzo. You were right. We need to start exercising more caution towards where all of us are going to go in the next few years." said Winston, looking back and forth between Hanzo and Zenyatta.

"I am caustically optimistic for the all of us." Zenyatta noted. "I look forward to seeing you in court."

With a bow of his own, Zenyatta left. Winston followed him, although Hanzo did not. Instead, he gave Jesse a quick, subtle eye as he advanced and pulled something from his pocket, a rough brown stone that he placed in the palm of his right, metal hand and lifted into view. It took a moment for Jesse to recognize it as a shelled walnut, like he hadn't seen since the Halloween party. 

Hanzo squeezed his hand, crushing the nut into chunks. He didn't flinch as Jesse walked over, although he didn't look up.

"Hey." Jesse greeted.

"Hello." Hanzo replied, taking a chunk of walnut and putting it in his mouth. Jesse's heart began to pound uncomfortably.

It was the first real look Jesse got to get at Hanzo's new punkish style. Jesse had to say he was a fan; the piercings were nice, and the undercut and topknot looked sleek up close. Even the new hand Hanzo wore seemed to play into the new look.

"...How's the new hand working out?" asked Jesse.

Frowning, Hanzo unfurled his fingers and examined them carefully. Jesse got his first real look at Hanzo's metal hand.

Starting at the wrist, it was built beautifully, with the intricate pieces of jet black metal held with elegant looking links and joints. Shape wise, it was almost the same as Jesse's own minus the forearm, but Hanzo somehow made it look more distinguished, even with the walnut crumbs.

"I suppose it is not the first upgrade I've received." Hanzo answered, rubbing the back of his neck with his other hand. "Still, I wasn't ready for it."

"None of us are."

"But it's coming."

"...Yeah. Not much we can do to stop it. Let's hope that its people like Zenyatta and Winston calling the shots, huh?"

"Precisely." 

Heart still pounding away, Jesse turned his gaze back to Hanzo's new hand.

"You jab a fork in it yet?" he asked.

"No. Should I?"

"All I did when I got mine was wack it with stuff."

"Did you have fun?"

"Yeah. You can feel it, but it don't hurt. Mighty strange."

Jesse felt like he was talking too fast. He shut his mouth, but was only met with silence when Hanzo didn't say anything either. Far too much time passed in silence for the tone to be comfortable. Jesse wished he had his hat to tip over his eyes.

It was now or never, Jesse decided.

"Hey, uh," said Jesse, scratching the back of his head. "I'm going to the Rocky Mountains this week."

"Oh." Hanzo replied. "I wish you luck. 

It was very minor, but Jesse was quick to notice the way Hanzo's face fell.

"I'd like it if you came with me." Jesse added quickly.

It was just as minor, but Hanzo's face lit back up. Jesse felt his mouth grow soft. 

"I would prefer Thailand, but I suppose I will make do." Hanzo replied, looking at the ground. 

The happy flutter in Jesse's chest was intense. He shut his mouth to avoid making any strange noises of affection.

"How 'bout that now?" asked Jesse, following Hanzo's gaze to the ground.

"Would you like to go on a walk?"

"Reckon I would."

Reaching out with his right metal, Hanzo took Jesse's left wrist and began to lead him down a garden path. Jesse adjusted his pace to Hanzo's.

"Can you bear to wait a day?" Hanzo asked as they walked. "My nose will not be fixed until tomorrow."

"Suppose I can handle it. But I think you look cute. You don't need a nose."

"I have no doubt that you're voicing that opinion truthfully. You have no standards."

"They growing it off the back of a mouse or what?"

"Precisely. I've been trying not to think of the process."

"Huh. Thought you'd be accustom to nose jobs by now." 

Hanzo snickered. Warmth filled Jesse chest as Hanzo slipped his right hand into Jesse's left. There was a tiny click as their metal fingers locked together in a simple hold.

"So, tomorrow. You wanna hop in a rental car and make outta here?" Jesse asked.

"Yes. I would like that."

"You ever been to the States? Not just for an assignment, I mean."

"No. I'm looking forward to finding out if they are all quite as unruly as you."

It occurred to Jesse for the first time that he was quite possibly the first American that Hanzo had ever known.

"They are. You'll love 'em." 

"Somehow, I doubt that."

With his other hand, Jesse rubbed the back of his head.

"I miss my hat." he remarked.

"I'll buy you a new one in America."

Looking down and to his left, Jesse smiled at Hanzo.

"Much Oblige." said Jesse. "I'd hug you, but we're both men."

Hanzo snorted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One last thing: I had a very difficult time while writing this deciding if I wanted Morrison to be gay. On one hand, I liked the idea of him being genuinely homophobic, as I think it would have made his choice to help McCree's relationship with Hanzo at the end to be more impactful. However, I'd also entertained the idea that he was gay, as I'd formulated this (what I ended up doing with) as an alternative that was both funny and self-indulgently relatable. Anyway, Blizzard choose for me.


	16. Epilogue

Another two years passed.

The second two years that Jesse spent with Hanzo weren't that different than the first. They were just a bit more honest and comfortable.

Jesse had never been in a relationship like it. He'd never been in a real relationship with a man before, especially one like Hanzo, who didn't act like any man, woman, or even androgynous person that Jesse had ever met. Nor had Jesse ever been in a relationship with someone so politically and philosophically different than him. They were both collectivists at heart, but Hanzo's strong sense of authoritarism was more than Jesse felt he could ever even come close to agreeing with. However, this proved itself over and over again to be far from as bad thing, as it made conversation incredibly interesting as long as Jesse kept an open mind. Jesse knew Hanzo, he trusted Hanzo, so keeping an open mind came even more naturally to him than usual.

As for Hanzo's dislike for strict monogamy, Jesse found the best thing to do was what he'd been doing for the last twenty years of his life: Live and let live. Although Jesse still felt jealous from time to time when he saw how other people looked at Hanzo or when Hanzo left on the first Wednesday of every other month to go fuck a bunch of strangers ancient-roman style, Jesse always managed to get over it, as Hanzo always came back to him like he'd promised. 

They continued not to squabble particularly often, and Jesse continued to suspect that it was because they didn't live together. Personally, Jesse would have been happy to sacrifice fighting less for seeing each other more. He'd even hoped that Hanzo might make an exception for him and let them move in together, but he never did. Although Jesse didn't push it, as he figured him wanting to see Hanzo more was better than Hanzo wanting to see him less. Still, Jesse couldn't help but find himself lonely on long nights. Hanzo's advice had been for him to sleep around, but Jesse found even the idea of doing that made him too guilty to think. Eventually, however, Jesse found the solution to the problem came from strengthening his relationships with his other friends.

All was pretty alright.

Moving to the present, Jesse sat on the couch between Angela and Morrison. On the floor, Hana laid at their feet. They were all watching Independence Day, as was picked by Morrison for Sunday Morning Movie Night.

"A hit to the cranium like that?" Angela asked. "He would not be back up on his feet."

"And is all American media this violent and war hungry?" Hana replied as a bloody Will Smith waved the American Flag. "I feel like this is a perfect example of how society glorifies war to young men."

On his other side, Jesse heard a choked sob. He turned to see Morrison.

"Look at us, working with the Chinese." Morrison said to Jesse, his fist over his mouth. 

It didn't happen very often, but sometimes Jesse felt like Morrison was the only one who could really understand him about certain things.

Jesse looked up and over his shoulder at the sound of a new presence entering the break room. His eyes quickly found Hanzo, looking as clean and lovely as ever. Hanzo gave a quick, awkward look at the couch goers before waving Jesse over.

"Be back in a minute." Jesse told everyone.

Trying not to skip, Jesse made his way over to Hanzo.

"Hello." Hanzo greeted.

"Hey." Jesse replied. "You look nice." 

"You always say that."

"Well, you always look nice."

"I know. I'm simply surprised you've not yet managed to grow accustomed to it."

"Every time I think I might, a pull up a picture of cow dung and stare at it for a couple of hours. Reckon it makes you look like a renaissance painting."

Hanzo chuckled. Jesse grinned.

"At least you understand relativity." Hanzo replied. "Would you like to join me for dinner tonight?"

"Depends what dinner means. You wanna go out? Or do you wanna eat take-out on your couch?"

"What do you think?"

"Long as you don't make me wear a tie."

Hanzo took a quickly glace around himself before responding.

"I'm not requiring you to be dressed, if that's what you're asking." Hanzo replied, voice low and mouth soft.

"Full time pervert, huh?" Jesse asked.

"I've found it to pay better than part time."

"You're a hoot."

"I'll see you at eight."

After giving a tiny, half-mocking bow, Hanzo exited the break room, leaving Jesse with the couch goers and the movie. He returned to them.

"Date night?" Hana asked.

"They're gonna do butt stuff." Morrison replied. Jesse elbowed him in the side. 

 

~~~~

 

Six months later, Jesse gave Hanzo a ring. And ten years later, Hanzo said yes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ANNOUNCEMENT: Are you confused? Curious? Want to know more about why I wrote this instead of studying and what it's all supposed to mean? Want to know how Hanzo's brain works? Want to hear me share my thoughts on politics and the robot apocylypse? Who wouldn't! I'm super happy to announce that you can, as I've, for no reason, written a detailed analysis that explains my thought processes while writing and characterization. Here you go and suck my balls https://docs.google.com/document/d/1i98XcxGWOf8CwvbrHItVZhQBGzSzwiwxBYEvt8ISZiY/edit?usp=sharing

**Author's Note:**

> Hey ya'll [I got a Twitter](https://twitter.com/AssesButtz). 
> 
>  


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